I love this author and have read mostly her psychological thrillers. So it was a complete change of pace to read a story that, in its own way, was filled with horror. The characters were all damaged by various life events, but only some of them were able to change for the better. An interesting read.

I found this book too difficult to read, the subject matter was just not right for me at that time and I struggled after the first few pages. The author has a clear and honest style of writing, not too frilly, which I appreciate, it was just the story that did me in. Sorry, but not for me.

A really interesting and unique book, and I loved reading about these characters and how they developed over the course of the book. I felt very emotionally invested in this book and it's one I'll be recommending to friends

A really interesting and controversial topic I haven't come across anything similar to this. It was a very different theme for the author. I appreciated the writing however I struggled with the concept a little having my own experiences with children with disabilities.

I very much like books that explore moral dilemmas and ethical issues and this one was quite hard hitting - who can say how we'd cope if presented with the same circumstances.

None of the characters (except Kirsty) is without significant flaws, and to be honest most of the time I didn't like any of them but I was very interested to see how the dynamic was going to play out and very much liked the ending.

I have read most of Claire McGowan's books and they are mostly crime thrillers. This however was a completely different style of writing which was unexpected, it was heart wrenching and thought provoking. It also contained heartwarming moments throughout the book too.
It really highlighted the lack of help and support for families with disabled children and the lack of facilities to care for them.
I enjoyed reading this book and could understand how Kate made the difficult decisions she chose to make.

Thank you to Claire McGowan, Little Brown Book Group UK, Corsair and Netgalley for the chance to read this ARC in return for an honest review.

Ive been a fan of Claire mcGowan for a long time and read all her other books. this one was a bit of a different tone from her usual thriller murder mystery type books. I loved it, it was moving, thought provoking, and in parts an uncomfortable read for all the right reasons.

Kate the girl who wants it all and seems to have it. Kate is married to Andrew and they have a two year old demanding son Adam, she hopes to get back to work but those hopes are crushed when she gives birth prematurely to Kirsty who has a genetic disorder. Kirsty's condition is so serious and rare there is not even a name for it, she is totally disabled and has to watched constantly in case she chokes. Adam also has anger problems, so Kate is worn out trying to look after both children, she has no family help and although husband Andrew tries to help, he works long hours and does not see the things that need doing as Kate does. A work colleague offers to help out, Olivia, she is very good with both children and Kate starts to take her help for granted.
Kate tries to bring some normality into her life but outings with the children are never easy, she loves them both but feels immense pressure and the suicide of a friend with a disabled son makes her think about her life.
Kate takes a great risk and leaves her family to live with a man she hardly knows in America.
Meanwhile in England Olivia moves in with Andrew to help him. Andrew eventually manages to write a book about Kirsty and the way they have coped with her disabilities.
To say any more would give too much away.
I felt mixed emotions reading this book, about the unfairness of life for people living with and caring for a disabled child and the lack of help and understanding available.
Thank you Claire and NetGalley

This book gets absolutely brilliant reviews but I have to say I'm conflicted.

There are so many aspects to the book that I really admire. The subject matter is dealt with beautifully; the writing raw, brave, honest and emotive. The story is uncomfortable, highlighting the fine line that you hope noone ever crosses , but know some people must do in desperation. And for all of these reasons I flew through the book, utterly invested in the main characters' narratives and needing to know how it would all pan out. The book is truly thought provoking!

So where is my problem? Well for me parts of the story felt really contrived....I don't feel I can give examples in case of spoilers. The ending was also problematic for me and these issues definitely spoilt my enjoyment.

Ever fantasised about jumping on a plane and running away from it all - this is what the author explores in this novel.
Kate is an aspiring TV presenter who ends up being a stay at home stepford mum, but is struggling with the picture of perfection.
She is not a natural mother and when Kirsty, her daughter who is profoundly disables comes along, Kate’s life unravels, five years of miserable life later, Kate can’t do it anymore .
She disappears without any contact, leaving her children and everyone else.
Kate restarts her life in L.A. And finds a new partner in Conor, a Hollywood film producer.
However her life is disrupted years later when her ex husband, Andrew writes a book about how he learned to communicate with his daughter, Kirsty using special sign language , transforming his relationship with her.
The book becomes a bestseller and and Kate’s 2nd husband, Conor gets the film rights.
Beautifully written showing the honest complexities of caring for a disabled family member.
What would you do in the same situation?
Very moving and thought-provoking.
Thanks @inkstainclaire @corsair & @netgalley for the eARC

Painful story in many ways but ultimately heart-warming as each character finds that they have the capacity to love in whatever way that means for them. Cleverly links the past and the present and leaves you- just like real life- not able to anticipate what that future might be.

Really heartwarming story about a family with a disabled daughter and the mothers battle, told in past and present tense. Really easy to read but thought provoking….

This was an incredibly moving, very unexpectedly tender and relatable book. I had only previously read the author's psychological thrillers so whilst the content and style of this book was a surprising departure, I absolutely loved it. I haven't had a disabled child but could utterly relate to Kate, having been through years of postnatal depression.
This is a beautiful book. What a very talented writer Claire McGowan is. I loved it.

It is 2002, and it is Kate’s thirtieth birthday, but it is also the last day. On paper, she has it all: a beautiful house, a handsome husband, a career in local television news, a two-year-old son and a second baby due in a month. She is throwing a birthday party for herself, and has invited friends and colleagues to join them at home: her friend Oliva arrives early to help set up the space, incredibly helpful as she always is. As expected from anything Kate does, the party is a great success: guests mingle and laugh, music plays, food and drink is enjoyed – until Kate falls to the floor and her labour begins, a month early. A terrifying whirl of medical experience follows as Kate is rushed to the hospital, resulting in an emergency Cesarean: and then Kate slowly wakes, husband Andrew at her side, and a consultant is uttering the life-changing sentence: “I’m sorry to tell you I have some bad news.”

Kate and Andrew’s daughter Kirsty has been born with an unknown chromosomal disorder, one so rare that it doesn’t even have a name. She will never walk, or talk, or hold herself up, and the whole family’s life changes forever in a heartbeat. The mutated gene has come from Kate’s side: at the consultant’s mention of family history of miscarriage, she suddenly remembers long-forgotten memories of her mother being mysteriously ill, and crying, and not coming home for months. Kate and Andrew’s two-year-old son, Adam, has a 50% chance of carrying this gene, though he can’t be tested until he can give consent. After a heartbreaking, exhausting year of trying to keep her daughter’s small red body alive and handling ‘terrible moments’ – “lunch with friends who’d had a baby born two days after Kirsty, healthy and bright-eyed” – Kirsty asks her friend Olivia for help, and Oliva steps up, becoming another member of the household.

This part of the story is set against the present day, where the novel begins, near its end: Kate is now living in LA in a glamorous architectural home with her film producer husband Conor, and arrives home to challenge him: she has learned that back in the UK her ex-husband Andrew has not only written a smash-hit book about the experience of parenting Kirsty – but Kate’s new husband wants to option it and make a film with the story. As the different chapters reveal more of the family’s tragic past and their re-entwined present, we discover that Oliva seems to now be with Andrew, and that Kate walked out on her family just five years after Kirsty’s birth. Is Andrew’s book and film about to throw Kate to the wolves, just as she’s rebuilt her life? Or would that be a deserved fate for the woman who abandoned her husband, five-year-old son and severely disabled daughter? Or perhaps, is it all a lot more complex and sad than that?

The book actually begins with a heart-felt author’s note, explaining McGowan’s intention: her brother was born with a similarly unknown disorder to Kirsty’s, and writing the book was meant to “shine a light on families like mine, which struggle on with so little support, broken by love and pain.” This is a challenging, unforgettable and stunning novel, which leaves you wondering at the harsh lottery of life and how people can bear to carry such burdens – and still find tiny scraps of purest joy, even when it is in very short supply.

Thank you for allowing me to review this book. It was not an easy read, but a thought provoking one. Kate has 2 children who she walks away from when leaving her husband. Her daughter is severely disabled with a rare condition that has no name. The dory can be a difficult read as it makes you think about yourself and how you would cope in similar circumstances. The honesty around her relationships with the children and her lack of maternal love is heart breaking. However, not every mother finds if easy to love their children.
The other main characters are also flawed. Andrew her husband and Olivia a 'friend' who moves in to help after Kate's disappearance. Each is written well, but I couldn't like Olivia.
I think this book should be read by parents as they start there family.

#ThisCouldBeUs #NetGalley
Bloody brilliant. 5 ⭐
Kate has done the unthinkable. She'd worked hard to build a perfect life for herself, while ignoring her growing unhappiness. But when her second child was born profoundly disabled, reality hit. Unable to cope, Kate left - disappearing without a trace. She ends up in LA, with a glittering career and a new family of sorts, but the guilt is still suffocating.
Husband Andrew was left to pick up the pieces and care for their disabled daughter and angry, confused son. Bereft and broken, he leaned on Olivia, Kate's best friend. She's been by his side ever since, ignoring her own needs to meet his.
Years later, Andrew has written a memoir about his daughter learning to communicate against all odds. But when Kate's new producer husband decides he wants to make a film of it, their worlds collide once again. Now, Kate must return to the life she abandoned and reckon with what she did. The guilt and the love. The pain and the hope. In other words, family.
Her best novel so far.
Thanks to NetGalley and Little Brown Books UK Corsair for giving me an advance copy.

A family saga with a difference . Kate and Andrew are married with a child and one on the way when the book starts. Their second child, a daughter, is born with a genetic condition which means she needs life long care. Their son is not an easy child either.
Kate is not a natural mother and has difficulties connecting to her children. She receives a lot of help from a friend, Olivia who cares for Kate's family when she leaves the family.
The book is told from different viewpoints across 20 ÷ years and relationships between the different characters bound by blood or care is explored in an open and honest way. Not a tear jerker for me, but this book could trigger an emotional reaction for some. A great, if at times intense read.
Thanks to Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

An interesting topic, one which brings implications for many, and this book definitely makes you think. Kate has a baby girl who is profoundly disabled at birth. Turns out it is a gene that her son also carries, and his children may be similarly disabled. Kate can’t handle it and walks out one day, never to see her family again for 15 years. The implications for Kate, her husband, their two children, the son’s girlfriend, Kate’s friend, Kate’s new family are explored.
We hear several viewpoints, so as a result Kate’s voice is, in my view, not that deep, it would’ve be good to understand her more. But as we do hear from many others, we do get a great sense of the impact on the whole family. This is the real strength to the novel. It is not a story arc that I have read before, and I found it fascinating.
With thanks to @littlebrownbookgroup_uk via @netgalley for review copy

A powerful story talking about issues that arent often covered in mainstream fiction, the challenges of parenting a disabled child and actively rejecting it all. When Kate's second child is born with severe disabilities, Kate leaves the family for a new start in the States, whilst her husband and best friend are left to bring up Kate's family. Kate' has a second family in the states, but in time the two worlds collide and Kate has to deal with what she left behind all those years ago.
with the choices she's made in life, Kate isnt an obviously likeable character and her life choices are so unusual, especially for a mother to make. The story of Kate, her family and her friends was thoughtfully and respectfully handled, and as a reader you are left with sympathy for all of those involved.

A searingly honest account of the reality of parenting a child with severe disabilities. This book is challenging in that none of the characters are particularly likeable, but that serves to make it more realistic. As a reader, you’re torn between sympathising with the characters and being really irritated by them but that makes you all the more involved as a reader.

A really original, thought-provoking book that will make you question societal expectations around motherhood.