This book takes as its central discussion point depression and depressive episodes, and explores the research, science and personal side of all of it. We are taken through various parts of her own personal story and the impact it has on her.

I would say it serves as more of an introduction piece rather than being more in-depth at times, but is no less valuable for that.

2.5/5. I’ll be honest this book was a struggle. I hated reading it. There is a difference between the idea of reading a book about depression and actually reading a book about depression. While the writing was amazing and the amount of personal experience added was inspirational as an author, I did not enjoy the book.

That the author draws the title from philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein is no accident. This collection of essays on depression and suicide seems to suffer from a confusion of audience, attempting to include both highly-academic readers and everyday souls struggling with existence. The text struggles with a jarring juxtaposition of highly confessional narratives and highly academic jargon. Voices I would have expected (Plath, Wolf, Berryman, Hemingway, and any number of visual artists) were scarce or absent, and the narrator's own voice was centered mainly on suicidal ideation and eating disorders without necessarily landing resonant connections or deeper empathies.

🙏 Thanks to @netgalley and @pushkinpress for my ARC in exchange for an honest review
🖋 "When people write about depression they often use fine words to describe it... I see depression more as an absence than a presence. Everything worthwhile is slowly scrapped away and all that remains is bare rock."

Coming from a writer and artist who has experienced the disease, "The Limits of My Language" is a collection of short essays looking at depression, both personally and philosophically. We get everything from thoughts on Camus to the ways the writer copes with the disease (walks with dog, medication as a last result), all through the lens of a philosophy student (I believe the title of the book is a quote from Wittgenstein).

💭 It's often a meandering collection, and certain parts of the books appealed less than others, but I enjoyed the writer's thoughts on her condition and how it has affected her life, and her attempts to suggest help for others. That said, I feel that perhaps this latter part was so attractive because it mirrored my own thoughts and experiences dealing with depression in the past. People may not feel the same about thoughts such as:

🖋 "When you're depressed, you have to work really hard just to keep your footing, and talking to friends or family can make things worse, because you then have to respond to their sadness, fear, worries and disbelief".

I get that 100%, but others may rile against the implied advice here. Take it as opinion rather than a guide.

💭 Overall, a very interesting read, one I still think about. Recommended

A deep meditation on the depths of depression, and the myriad ways it manifests in the lives of those it affects.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I felt this was such a moving exploration of what it feels to suffer from depression. Its a debilitating disorder that affect both mind and body, a disorder that still frowned upon by some countries. The author spoke about her life in ways I can relate, thr sincerity she poured into this memoir was incredible. I like that she inserted literature, arts as a form of expressing her feelings and how they affect the connotation of depression. Overall, a brilliant read

The Limits of My Language by Eva Meijer is an account of a woman struggling with recurrent depression and anorexia nervosa. The book is not trying to be the perfect guide to either illnesses, but it is more of a personal yet alternative 'lens to investigate the structure and significance of depression', meaning that it is essentially a limited perspective of someone diving in and out of debilitating depressive episodes. The author questions the meaning of depression itself; does it carry other purposes other than draining a person of purpose and life energy? What does it mean to be mentally disturbed than the next person? Does madness comes only in one color? If not, surely depression is something that affects everyone differently despite the universal agreements of its recurrent and consistent symptoms in the bible of a diagnostic manual.

Meijer majored in philosophy and her enthusiasm towards it is apparent in ways she relates to her depression with fundamental philosophy questions. She proposes that depressed people tend to mull over their value as a person and their work ethics more frequently, hence the urgency to realize themselves, become disciplined and more militant. I love that almost all perspectives were considered when the topic shifted to the causes of depression. Meijer left nobody out; you can be sick because of work, because of genetics, or because of nothing at all. Creatives are prone to bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other flavor of madness as if it is as natural as the Earth revolving around the sun.

The rich references to foreign books, authors and artists is my favorite part of the book. She relates her life happenings to certain quotes or figures, and that solidifies the feeling that you're not alone in this loneliness. The harsh truth that one would never recover is also featured in some chapters, and the importance of community. Meijer to reject the 'atomistic view of people' and is graceful about it. It is hard to convince readers that meanings are fluid when one's life experiences is deeply tied with unreality. That makes her work a must-read for people who seeks to understand the contradictory nature of mental illness, its relations with human 'nature', or if one just wants another person to speak out what's on their blacked out mind.

Fascinating essay that describes not just the author’s own depressions and experience with an eating disorder, but also a consideration of the boundaries that frame it, the shape it takes. One I have been thinking about from time to time since I finished it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Pushkin Press for the e-ARC of The Limits of My Language by Eva Meijer!

This is a collection of essays about Meijer's own experiences with depression as well as how it intersects with art and philosophy. I appreciated Meijer's frankness in how she approached speaking about her own struggles with depression. Her depiction of mental illness is real and unfiltered, which made for a much more relatable and shame free reading experience for myself. I also loved how referential this was and it got me excited to read many of the authors and pieces she touched on!
I do feel that it got a bit repetitive throughout and the voice felt a bit monotone, which may have been purely a translation issue, but overall this was an enjoyable and interesting read!

A poignant read that I think was done some injustice in translation due to the differences in cultural mentality that stands between myself and the author. I found some observations very catching, but I did not find myself longing to get back to it.

Thank you to Pushkin Press for the Advanced Copy

The Limits of My Language is an in depth book of essays on depression and art, from the perspective of an artist themselves. I was awe struck and many times moved deeply not only by the personal level of the writings but on how Meijer seamlessly weaved in literary and cultural references to analyze her own predicament as part of the human experience.

In the very first essays Meijer contents with existentialism as a prescriptive philosophy that as she points out chooses to embrace absurdity, a radical notion at the time, as the key to living. However, the author also makes a very clear argument, which I had never come across in writings on depression as an existential condition "the existentialist overestimate our capacity for freedom", she argues and that after a certain point the simple fact of absurdity no longer becomes a viable option for self-actualization or emotional liberation. Meijer cites in this argument one of the most formative books in my life which is Nausea by Sartre, a book I feel that is not discussed enough outside of academic circles. Her incorporation of the narrative was a perfect fit for the argument above, and although I wish she would have discussed the revelation about the character of the reader who symbolizes a kind of pre-existentialist optimist who relies on order above all else, I was still very pleased to encounter in Meijer's writings a beautiful and competent analysis of the novel. It is after all our inherited moral failings, bodies, places of birth, and the many other immutable conditions of humanity that make freedom from an existentialist perspective so elusive in a practical discussion of mental health.

Overall I think this was a very well written collection, with a few repetitions of the same thesis but not too many as to detract from the overall flow. Ironically the thing that bothered me the most was the hand of the translator, which makes itself very clear and hard not to notice at many times throughout the book, in idioms that feel taken out of google translate making the reading experience a very shallow one, when a topic such as this would normally immerse me. At the end of the day Meijer succeeded in reaching a limit beyond her language and my own, they discuss the experience of depression as only a thoughtful mind and soul can, but I wish I could read it in the original, I feel like only then could I access the emotional connection a book like this deserves. And I believe it goes without saying but I have never given a Pushkin Press book less then 3 starts (which I categorize as "good"), they are my go to press for certified good read, and I continue to be impressed with the quality of the writing they put out every time .

I don't know who the target audience is or what the purpose of this essay was. The author stated this was supposed to be her perspective on depression through the lens of her life, but it reads too much like a self-help book without any actual aspects that you can use to cope with depression.

Throughout this whole piece of writing the author uses madness as a synonym for mental health issues and depression. I do not understand why. It was never explained. Maybe it was an error in translation. But I cannot accept that.

This essay is very much anchored in philosophy and uses too little relevant data from psychology, psychiatry or neurosciences. What she quotes she alters to make specific points. A lot of the times I was familiar with the literature and she ignored huuuge aspects of it just to support her arguments.

Many many times the author states something like "This is what depression means, but for me, it was not this way" and then proceeds to explain how in fact it was that way. She discusses how she thinks art is not a solution, as it involves setting things into motion, which a lot of people with depression cannot do, and then goes on explaining how her work saved her... Do with that what you will.

I appreciate that she discussed what her way out was, but she spent too much time on very random and unrelated things, and too little on proven solutions backed by science that help a lot of people (not all, obviously, but still), like CBT and medication which she only mentions briefly.

There's this very random bit when the essay goes deep into philosophy for quite a few pages, and out of the blue, the next sentence in a paragraph is: I don't think you should do it (i.e. commit suicide) if you have children.

I think this might be too harsh of me to say, but I think the title reflects the book perfectly: when you don't have the right words and don't use the right ones (I will not get over the use of "madness" in this) you cannot get a solid point across.

Very refreshing to read an academic account of depression based on personal experience. It wasn't too clinical yet didn't read too much like a blog post. It was a quick read, easy to dip in and out of in between other reads. The middle portion felt a bit messy at times but overall the book was solid.

I'd recommend this to people who have experienced these things in the past. I don't think it's a good one if you're currently "going through it". It could also be a good insight for those out there who haven't experienced depression at all.

A beautiful written book that will simply put you at ease. I found this book incredibly useful and have re referred to it. Highly recommend. Flows beautifully and relaxing while you read

First published in 2019 (pre-COVID), Meijer's short book on depression is finally being published here in the US. My thanks to NetGalley and Pushkin Press for an e-ARC.
Philosopher, animal philosopher (human and non-human), musician, novelist, scholar, artist and performance artist Meijer makes use of it all in this short, but not quick, book. Based on her own depression (about 7 years, from age 14 to her early 20's, including anorexia - and occasional bouts since) the first 2 chapters are impressive redefinitions of how we define and describe depression.
That she can explain philosophical movements, from Aristotle to the Existentialists, in a few words makes me want to take a class from her! And she does not so much judge which philosophy is "right", as explain the POV of each, and what they have to offer us as we view, understand, and live in the greater world. But she does give emphasis to later Wittgenstein, and his writings on language (like depression and the world, there is a seperation between words and what they represent in the real world). She also brings in artists, from pop musician Kristin Hersh to Woolf to Stryon. Heavily annotated with informative Notes.
For me her weakest chapter was the 3rd, where she describes her own treatment, including years on an anti-depression prescription. But as she moves on she stresses over and over that each case is your own, and while discipline and self-awareness of changes in her life and attitude ring alarms to an oncoming bout, that one must find their own way to deal with their depression. Which may include clinics, drugs, or even suicide.
A brilliant academician (she has about 15 titles published, this is only about her 4th or 5th to be published in the US), she still can easily flow from Sartre to "sending cards always helps" on how friends and family can support you when you are depressed.
Reading the first page of this got me to drop the book I was reading and dive into this instead. I have always had an interest in "melancholia" (which she talks about as part of the history of depression). And while I have mourned (the difference between that and depression is also discussed here) and had a few "blue periods", I have never had months or years of ongoing depression. Still, I found this helpful and interesting, and rather brilliant. The mix between philosophy, culture, medicine, art, and her own life makes this a vibrant book.
And in the last couple of pages she cheerfully reminds us how small and unimportant we are in the greater scheme of all things - get over it!
I am not sure I will read either of her books on non-human animal communication (some of which is used as an approach in this title as well - and again relies on later Wittgenstein and his study of language ), but I do have her novel "Bird Cottage" on order.

Such a beautifully written book I loved so much and found myself in a lot of it. It was so captivating and i really loved how honest it felt. Definitely one I will go back and reread.