There is something so special about the way this book is written. We get to follow Judy, a young girl trying to find her place in life and exploring new aspects of it. Be it self-discovery, love, passion, or talent, every aspect of this book read like a fever dream, something I had not read in a while and it gave me that sense of irl literature that is rare to achieve.

“I was an imposter, a fly that had accidentally gotten stuck in the room. Only I didn’t have the freedom to slam into the windowpane and beg to be let out.”

On first encountering the title and blurb of this delicious little novel, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the main plot surrounds a mysterious imminent rapture. Whilst the Big Shadow does indeed lurk in the background throughout, the main focus of the story is on teenage protagonist Judy’s unconventional and unlikely connection with Maurice: an ageing has-been rockstar and wannabe Beat poet.

Marta Balcewicz voice is enchanting; poking and prodding at the power dynamics of a relationship in which there is a large age gap, masterfully showing us what it feels like to be a teenager under the spell of a much older man. The writing feels volatile, tense, like something could explode at any moment. The metaphor of the Big Shadow here is very clever.

Though the book largely spans Judy and Maurice’s relationship, I found the dynamic between her and her mother to be especially interesting. Her mother was a fascinating character: almost smothering Judy with her want, her need, her love. I would have liked to have had more development here because I got frustrated and almost bored with Maurice’s antics.

‘Big Shadow’ was an unexpectedly brilliant novel that I thoroughly enjoyed. If you like coming-of-age novels, the 90s, conspiracy theories and the New York rock'n'roll scene of the 70's, you will love it too.

Thank you to NetGalley UK for the Advanced Reading Copy.

A quiet and raw coming of age story teetering between teenage days and adulthood. Taken place during the late nineties, many millennials will be able to relate with the main character, and a stuck feeling that many of us have come across as the years have gone by while we ourselves entered adulthood. You go through so many emotions throughout this novel.

This book dragged at the beginning. But once I got into it, it was better. The story of girlhood and going through life. Enjoyable.

Wow, I really loved this. A great coming-of-age story set in the mid 90s over the course of a summer. Jane is a recent graduate and is splitting her time between her mom's apartment and her friend Alex's country home where he and Jane's cousin, Christopher, are preparing for the enigmatic, "who knows when it will come" Big Shadow. After a chance encounter at the local college, Jane starts spending more and more time with Maurice, a 70s punk rock has been, during his stint teaching poetry at the college.

I'm the same age as the main character (or how old they'd be now) and I loved reading about people who were actually like people i know/knew, not just soccer players and track stars. I thought it was dryly funny and astute.

A bold book with a lot to say. It deals with the intensity of the transition to adulthood and finding our place in the world in a very real way that at times was uncomfortable but definitely rewarding.

a stunning portrayal of girlhood at the brink of adulthood when everything seems possible, when some big cataclysmic event seems to hang in the air - an event for which you try to prepare without success. the emotional shifts between excitement/hope/romanticization and boredom/disgust are incredibly realistic, and the portrayal of power dynamics in Judy’s relationships starkly honest.

the main issue i had with this text is that the beginning drags; i nearly set the book down entirely because the first-person narration was so stuck in the character’s head and so nearly plotless. 3.75

Not bad. A great character study, and decent plot. I didn't always stay engaged but liked it overall. I really appreciate the free copy for review!!

This is a slice of life that hits home and deep in the cuts. It’s nuanced too though. It doesn’t bang you over the head and say hey look at me I know what I’m doing here and I’m more important. There are times that it isn’t great but whatever.

3.5 stars

The vibes of this book are perfect but I felt very disconnected from the story. I loved how well the author captured the naivety of Judy’s character.

I will say I wish we had gotten more of Alex and Christopher and their Big Shadow phenomena. I think they were really interesting characters that could have been fun to explore.

I’m a bit underwhelmed by the ending. It felt a bit rushed. I think I’d have liked to see more of a fall out of the situation between Judy and Maurice. The ending felt very lack luster.

It is entirely possible that the digital medium and/or my mood affected my reading of this. That being said, I kept wanting to get sucked in, but something kept me at an arm's length. Perhaps it was the subtle strangeness, but there was a distance between me as a reader and the main character that I just couldn't breach. I never really got to a point where I wasn't completely fine putting it down after a chapter or two. I don't think there's anything inherently bad about this book, but there isn't anything particularly engaging about it either in my opinion. I'd be willing to give it another shot in print instead of digital, maybe, but there are many more interesting books I am trying to get to, so perhaps not.

The last summer before Judy starts at her local college is not a promising one. Her friends, Alex and Christopher, are increasingly obsessed with something called the Big Shadow they believe is coming, and she isn’t so much. Her mother can be suffocating. And there’s nothing to do. During a heatwave, Judy has a chance meeting with Maurice Blunt, an aging punk musician, and develops a strong and strange friendship with him, seeing him as her ticket out of this town. Big Shadow is a touching, confusing story of the weird liminal space that is the summer between high school and post-secondary, and the difficulty of trying to figure everything out.

I’m not sure I liked Big Shadow, exactly. It had draggy moments, but Balcewicz nailed the summer atmosphere and the boredom of a kid in a small town, looking for something to hook her dreams onto. For that alone, that pitch-perfect feeling, Big Shadow is brilliant. Judy is frustrating in the way eighteen year olds are to actual adults: you’re so close! And yet you know nothing! This was pretty solid.

Marta Balcewicz is easily among my personal canon of favourite writers now. This book was a quietly affecting exploration of obsession, identity, and belief that I feel only a reread would better my understanding of. The writing knows exactly what it wants to be and accomplish, and I have highlighted pages upon pages of this book. Judy, our narrator, has such a singular view on the world and forms weird and quiet relationships with everyone she meets, whether that be a few pages or the entire book, that leave a profound effect on her and the reader. My only desire was for the ending to be fleshed out a bit more, though perhaps that’s a selfish one as I didn’t want it to end, and for Judy to interact/think more about Christopher and Alex as they were such intriguing people. A standout work amongst the Canadian literary scene which is already incredibly strong in its output. I look forward to reading more novels from Balcewicz, as well as their already-published short fiction. This book is truly something special, and I cannot wait to get my hands on a physical copy so I can reread it.

Absolutely awful. If I could give it 0 stars I would. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities Don’t waste your money or your time on it.

Description:
A teenager escapes the claustrophobia of her cousin's friend's obsession with the 'big shadow', an incoming supernatural event sent to take them away, by striking up a friendship with an aging punk rock poet who lives in New York.

Liked:
Felt realistically low-key. The cousin and his friend are interesting, but their story is so glacial that you can see why the protagonist, Judy, backgrounds it. Judy feels like a believable teenager - not always sure why she's doing the things that she does, headstrong and self-centred, wanting to seem surer than she feels, and vacillating between being devil-may-care about everything, and getting very worried or sad about other people. I also liked Jennifer and the old man in class quite a lot.

Disliked:
The whole novel feels so grimy. It's meant to, but it makes for uncomfortable reading. Maurice is gross in a very pathetic way, which also feels totally realistic, but I'm not sure I wanted to spend this much time with him. I don't know that, for me, there was enough of interest in this book to make the grubbiness worthwhile. I say that as someone who had a relationship with an older man at about Judy's age - not sure whether that means it's less interesting because I sorta lived it, or that it's more uncomfortable!

Would tentatively recommend, but steel yourself.

Big Shadow by Marta Balcewicz is an effective coming of age novel about Judy feeling frustrated with her life and with her difficult mother and cousin and how in an attempt to escape that she forms a friendship with an older man that begins to cross boundaries and blur lines that she's not comfortable with.

An interesting novel written in a strange prose style. Part coming of age, part.....weird, it all works together to be a fantastic story about someone just trying to find their way.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

This book is refreshingly different in prose style, with themes similar to My Dark Vanessa. An interesting take on the concept similar to Sally Rooney but (in my view) not as obnoxious. Because of the prose I felt a little detached from the characters as though the plot was a fever dream.

This novel is packed with thought-provoking themes. You will go through the gambit of emotions with this book. A coming of age tale that will have you laughing and crying.