It's always difficult to provide a brief synopsis of memoirs, particularly when they are as personal and honest as this one. Simply put, Alice Carriere lived an unconventional childhood. Daughter of renowned parents - artist mother, actor father - and growing up in Greenwich Village, Carriere was early surrounded by people many of us would be starstruck by. More saliently, Carriere's childhood was impacted by the distance of her mother, who was engaged in "recovering" horrific memories and turning them into art; and by the closeness of her father, which often became inappropriate. As she grew older, Carriere began to feel disassociated from herself; and, when she sought help, she was placed on an ever-increasing cocktail of medication, knowing only to place her trust in doctors and therapists even as she lost herself further.

Everything/Nothing/Someone is unyielding and unforgiving: not of it's characters, but of the reader. Carriere is brutally honest about her experiences, and this book is not going to be for everyone. There will be some for whom this hits too close to home. There are descriptions (sometimes 'graphic', whatever that might mean) of self-harm, abuse, 'body horror', and mental illness. It is a really, really tough read, and there should be no judgement about feeling that this is not for you. Equally, I think there will be a group of people who should read this, for whatever reason, who will see Carriere's honesty as a reason to shy away. Particularly, the depictions of the American medical complex are devastating. I can't remember the exact wording, but one section refers to her increasing list of diagnoses - diagnoses which happen to have the same symptoms as the side effects of the medication she is on, yet result in further medications themselves. Carriere also explores and examines the devastation that medical professionals can have, even when their intentions might be as good as possible.

Something really striking about this book is that Carriere writes with so much love and respect. Her experiences, particularly with her parents, are often not positive, and that is clear. Yet throughout it all she writes in a way that is fair and avoids being overly inflammatory. She touches on her mother's "recovered" memories, and talks a little about the wider contexts of the time, but does not take away from the trauma her mother uncovered. Similarly, when Carriere goes to meet with her father, it is not just to talk, but also to listen.

Just as I find it difficult to write any account of the content of memoirs, I also find them difficult to critique. There were parts of the narrative that I wish had been further explored. Although the beginning talks a lot about Carriere's use of self-harm, and alludes to this continuing, it features less heavily later on. A major event towards the end is precipitated by a crisis in her mental health, but it is never really explained whether this crisis eventually stabilises. Carriere's life was - in my reading - profoundly affected by the decisions of prescribers and therapists, and I wonder how she feels about these now. I personally would have liked to know more about all of these - but it's also not my memoir. It's not me baring my soul to the world. And that's something I think we need to remember more, when critiquing or discussing memoir or other such personal writings, that we are not entitled to the full story, just because someone chooses to share part of it.

Everything/Nothing/Someone does not have a pretty ending, by which I mean that it doesn't tie everything up with a bow. This is real life. I think this might be one of the greatest books I have ever read.

Thank you, Alice.

(With thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an eARC, in exchange for a fair and honest review).

Thank you to NetGalley and Spiegel and Grau for this Advanced Copy!

What an intense, brutally honest memoir. Alice tells the tale of her live living with mental illness, including living with family members who were clearly suffering and had a deep impact on her life. She tells such deep stories and writes them so beautifully. I was relieved to see some healing towards the end, as you really feel for her struggles on top of our mental healthcare system being so deeply flawed. I would love to read more by this author.

As much as I enjoyed this book I want to preface my review by saying this title isn't for everyone & has lots of triggers about abuse, mental illness, cutting, sexual impropriety & drug use throughout.
Some may find it difficult or anger inducing to read about what the author went through. I know at times it was for me and I also felt great sorrow for what she was subjected to by her parents.

Her mom was a famous artist & her father was a European actor & she was mostly raised by her nanny--being shuttled between her parents after they divorced.
I don't want to give a rehash of the synopsis--let's just say the author does a great job of illustrating the scenes that eventually drove her into the mental health system & the dismal job said system did to help her over many many years & lots & lots of pills.
It was lovely to see her come out the other side & even more so to see who came with her (read & discover who)

Four Stars

This was a very interesting memoir from a young woman named Alice Carriere who was born to successful artistic parents. Her mother was artist Jennifer Bartlett and the father was German actor Mathieu Carriere. Post divorce, Alice lived with her mother in NYC in what sounded like an amazing property featuring an upstairs bedroom with a pool and floor to ceiling windows leading out to a garden. However, her mother was distant and self-absorbed with her artwork. Alice's nanny seemed more of a mother to her, and there didn't seem to be any structure or responsibilities grounding her life. There also was a simmering sexual innuendo with the father when they would have visitations.

The book is a wild ride of Alice's psychological struggles including bouts of cutting, panic attacks, paranoia, and much more. Like her mother, Alice loved to listen to audiobooks growing up, and was fastidious about keeping journals. She clearly is a gifted writer and this was a seeringly honest and compelling read.

Thank you to the publisher Spiegel & Grau who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

Alice’s story is very heartbroken. She has to go through a lot of difficulties throughout her life. At an early age Alice has to go through sexual abuse, neglect, loneliness, drugs, alcohol, and having to live with little to no rules. Alice’s story is very heartbroken.

She has to go through a lot of difficulties throughout her life. At an early age Alice has to go through sexual abuse, neglect, loneliness, drugs, alcohol, and having to live with little to no rules. This book is well written and I couldn’t put it down. It's also sad and shocking at the same time. In her adult life Alice has to live through her mental health, including being in an in-patient treatment.

This book is well written and I couldn’t put it down. It's also sad and shocking at the same time.

Thank you to Spiegal & Grau and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in order to do a review.

A very interesting look into a misunderstood condition. I found the prose to be engaging and the story to be easily accessible

I was really excited for this one, at for the first half I remained excited and felt like I was learning a lot about mental health. However, during the second half things started to fall apart for me and I felt like this book was being written as part of the author's mental health journey and less for the reader.

A fascinating and riveting book about family and identity and mental health. Also an interesting portrait of NYC in the 1990s and the art world. And ultimately a story of redemption.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this amazing book! I couldn't put it down and it really made me think. What an intimate portrayal of Alice Carriére's young life, unique family, and struggles with mental illness as well as the mental health field. A must-read for anyone who enjoys memoirs!

This book felt self-indulgent. Carriere is the product of a traumatic childhood, being raised by egomaniacal and mentally ill people who happened to be a little famous and a lot wealthy. She also seems egomaniacal and mentally ill, and not very interesting. Mental illness, in and of itself, is not all that fascinating and rather tedious. The people in her life really suck, and she kind of sucks too.

Such a compelling story-
Heartbreaking and sad yet uplifting as well. The author takes you on her journey with grace and determination. Hearing how she felt neglected and moving into adolescence, abusing herself in order to deal with her emotions was hard to read but so important, especially as mental health is now finding its way to the forefront of medical help. She didn't spend much time in a "poor me" attitude and I found her story impactful in how she forgives and understands.
I would recommend this read to anyone who has experienced life-

DNF at 34% -- beautiful prose, but I could not force myself to ingest more pain. I'm glad to see I'm very much in the minority of readers, and I hope this book finds its audience because there are definitely people who will be healed from reading it, but unfortunately I do not number among them.

The title describes the book perfectly. A young Alice Carriere, is the daughter of two very self-involved people, who enjoy fame as an artist (mother) and actor (father). Living in a large house where she is basically left alone except for the attention of Nanny, it comes as no surprise that she slowly but certainly descends into a world of mental illness, ultimately dissociative disorder. Frustrating story, no one seems to have her best interest at heart, no psychiatrist steps up and says, 'Hey, maybe that's a few too many psychiatric drugs', her parents are apparently incapable of parenting, this is a story of a downward spiral into the abyss. While at the onset I was a little concerned that we were being taken for a bit of a ride, by the end I was truly moved with the author's struggles and strength.

This ARC was provided by NetGalley, the opinions expressed are my own.

I found I had to read this book slowly, in small doses, or I would get depressed. It’s a harrowing and brave story of childhood neglect, drug abuse, madness. I wanted to cry, to hug little Alice, and teenage Alice and young adult Alice, and scream at her parents, her doctors, all the people who failed her.

There are gorgeous sentences in this memoir. Beautiful metaphors. And a lot of writing with little embellishment that was all the more harrowing for it. I really appreciated the descriptions of what it felt like to dissociate, or to be propped up and down by prescription drugs like Adderall, Klonopin, and a whole host of other psychopharmaceuticals.

There were also some places where I was confused about the whens or the wheres. Some, what felt to me to be major, parts of the story that got dropped, like Jennifer’s cancer. I can’t imagine that memoir is ever easily written, though. And I’m grateful to have read this one.

As others have noted, I didn't expect this to be Carriere's first published memoir. The writing is intense and evocative and absolutely blew me away. It should be noted that some content is very heavy and may trigger some readers. I do think we will have readership in our library, so we will be purchasing for the collection.

CW: discusses sexual abuse, ptsd, dissociation, suicide, etc.

Alice Carrière’s cadence is almost musical. She has a way with words I haven’t seen in a memoir. The daughter of a renowned artist and actor, Carrière comes from a place of wealth yet deep emotional neglect. She talks a lot about her memory - real or imagined - often doubting her own childhood memories and the actions / intentions of those closest to her. She unpacks a lifetime of mental health treatment and the way that medications and many, many doctors failed her.

If you liked I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy or Forager by Michelle Dowd you’d enjoy this too.

Growing up with divorced parents is hard enough, but memoirist Alice Carriere had it tougher than many. Ignored by her aloof artist mother and treated inappropriately by her lecherous actor father, young Alice sought shelter in audiobooks and the love of her governess, Nanny These supports, however, did not prevent her from developing a raging case of dissociative disorder. While her peers were attending college, Alice spent time in elite psychiatric hospitals and dealing with doctors who prescribed multiple drugs and told her that she could never live without them. Her therapist encouraged Alice to see herself as a victim of molestation. Despite everything she goes through, Alice nonetheless grows up to discover forgiveness, healing and love.

This memoir is impressively written; Alice certainly knows her way around a metaphor. She is not afraid to present herself as she really is, even at the height of a manic or dissociative episode, or her parents as they really are. Highly recommended.

i initially could not believe this was a debut memoir because the level of craft is beyond stellar. while this book covers a myriad of difficult topics from fraught family dynamics to struggles with over-medicalization, it’s the depiction of dissociation that I found most compelling, which is to say i’ve never quite found someone who’s put it into words so well.

Carrier builds a chaotic world for the reader to explore as she recounts her mental health journey and path to healing. As if lost at sea, she struggles alone for survival and fights from drowning in overprescribed medication and a poor system.

Carrier takes us from her childhood, where she lived a life being fought over by parents who knew little about how to care for a child, through her stays in psychiatric institutions, and into her present life of independence and self-awareness.

This book is for anyone who desires more insight into the mental health struggle, family dynamics, and surviving trauma.

Wow! This book mesmerized me. This really should have a major trigger warning on it. But what an absolutely traumatic upbringing. I liked being able to see Alice transform and find herself by the end of this book. She showed she could get through the hard times and really could adjust to find what would make her happy.

*Read this on the kindle and formatting was a little off