Member Reviews
A powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Edda Altidor's memoir is a moving account of the joys and struggles of raising a child with autism. Her story is a reminder that love and acceptance can conquer even the toughest of challenges. This book is a must-read for anyone looking for inspiration and hope in the face of adversity.
Love knows no limits: A mother's journey of raising a child with autism.
n "The Focus is Different," Edda Altidor shares her personal story of raising a child with autism. She sheds light on the challenges and joys of parenting a child who is different and how society's perceptions of autism can affect both the child and the family. With raw honesty and vulnerability, Altidor takes the reader on a journey of love, hope, and resilience.
This is not going to be a favorable review, but I'm going to try my best to make it a kind review, because I truly believe that the author loves her son and means to do the best she can for him. Unfortunately, she has fallen into the same holes that too many parents of autistic children fall into.
Firstly, this book is categorized as
'own voices' but that is not the case. The author would need to be writing about their own experience with autism for it to be 'own voices'' and she's not.
Secondly, the book is full of ableism. Do I think the author means to be ableist? No. I think the author is well meaning and has been guided by people who have outdated ideas of what autism is. I used to believe many of the same things about it, so I understand where the author is coming from. I would encourage her to look into the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. As she has even noted in her book; autistic children grow up to be autistic adults. Consequently I would ask her, who better to help you understand your autistic child than an adult who used to be one?
Sadly, the author's son has already been subjected to ABA (applied behavioral therapy), which is basically conversion therapy for autistics. The point of ABA is to teach the autistic person to mask their autism, to fit in and be 'normal'. Autistic masking is a trauma response. ABA is purposely inflicting trauma so that neurotypical people are made more comfortable.
The author also doesn't seem to have a very good grasp of what autistic meltdowns are or what causes them. While she seems to have found something that pulls her child out of them, I believe it is liable to cause even more trauma to him in the long run. (My gut is telling me that the action is not pulling him out of the meltdown so much as it is making him feel abandoned and that he has to do what she wants or he'll be left alone.)
I am honestly broken hearted for this child and his mother. Doctors continue to fail autistic people at every turn, and parents often don't know who else to turn to. Even the most popular autism focused organization would rather eradicate autistic people than understand them. We need to do better.
The best thing about that is that it's not too late. We can always learn and do better, and I truly hope the author finds a way to do that.
Lastly, I do not recommend this to anyone wanting to learn about autism or how to help their autistic child. Instead, I will repeat my plea that the author, or anyone else who wants to learn more about what autism actually is and how they can help, to visit https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/ or https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/what-we-believe/