this was an interesting novel, and not at all what i expected from the blurb or from other reviews.

michael as our narrator was so passive. there was a stark reduction in dialogue in the writing, with a lot of scenes being carried out as him describing what was happening around him, rather than connecting with his own emotions about what he felt. that was especially evident with wyatt and the other bdsm relationships he finds himself engaging in - everything about these interactions was him desperate to please and to be viewed as irreplaceable. while that felt very human and realistic, i would have liked to see more explanation of him unpacking that and his own desires to understand truly what he wanted from these situations and to show growth at the end of the novel.

the passivity was definitely a strength though in highlighting the abuse that he was putting himself through and seeking out. the way in which he engaged with wyatt especially showed his inexperience, and wyatt took full advantage of that by not engaging in two sided dialogue about what michael was getting out of it. the one-night stand relationships were just a continuation of the way that michael understood what he thought sex was supposed to look like.

i thought that the side characters though were very well done, and michael's narration meant that we only ever saw them through his eyes, which made the story stronger. the way that characters dropped off though with no resolution, like nathan who didn't make an appearance at all in the last third of this book, was just a strange choice to me.

calum at the end also felt a little shoved in to demonstrate that michael was deciding to choose something different romantically, but that choice was also made for him by calum's immediate pushiness the moment they met. i would have liked to see that connection develop a little slower and give michael a little bit more agency there, to contrast the way his desire to be needed made him immediately willing to sacrifice it.

this didn't really feel so much like a coming-of-age story as it was a twisted search for connection, warped already to begin with the moment he left his parents home and went off into the world alone. it was a good book though, and really showcased the danger that being alone can bring when navigating unfamiliar spaces.

Between the head and the hands is a brilliant coming of age story. Heartbreaking and engaging.

The prose is similar to the likes of Sally Rooney, with the dialogue flat, passive and muted, focusing on the imperfections of the day to day.

Using this passive narration I felt really connected to Michael and rooted for him. The character development was progressive and natural.

This book tackled a lot of heavier topics such as sexuality and religious baggage in a easily digestible and sensitive way.

"Between the Head and the Hands" is a beautiful, heartbreaking book, written in a hypnotizing literary style. It was a difficult story to read, as the main character, Michael, is a passive narrator, having little agency in the things happening to him; he just rolls with the punches, more eager to please others rather than to figure out what he wants for himself.

But he's only 19, and this is also a coming of age story, so that's to be expected. I still felt by the end that he was still going along with whatever happened and got lucky with who he ended up with, but he was trying to figure out if he liked the person he'd become and hadn't quite found his voice yet.

The story opens with Michael, a Lebanese American whose family is deeply religious Muslims, admitting to his mother that he's gay. She reacts poorly and kicks him out of the house. He moves from one abusive living situation to another, hooking up with guys and figuring out his sexual proclivities along the way. He's not all that introspective, but mainly tries to figure out what people are thinking about him and expect from him. But again, 19, with cultural and religious emotional baggage about his identity, so I found his character development age appropriate.

Eventually he reunites with his family, who has a change of heart, but even that he is just going along with the flow, letting his father take him to mosque even though he doesn't feel comfortable going. I felt like he comes to accept himself instead of finding his voice; I wanted him to figure out how to stand up for himself more, but for most of the book he doesn't even know himself.

It lent the writing style a haunting, cerebral, almost child-like quality that allowed me to feel him losing his innocence even as he didn't even know what was happening to him.

This was a beautiful, important, personal book, and I appreciate the early look from the publisher.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

3.5

So to start off, I really liked this book and I think that it's very good for a debut novel, and I'd definitely be interested in reading more from this author.

I personally found the writing style to be very enjoyable, because it's simplistic and easy to read, but also able to create atmosphere. One thing though, is that I wished that the writing wasn't so detached from the main character. We know *what* he's feeling but not *how* he's feeling which makes it a little hard to connect with him since he is the kind of person to go with the flow of things just to see where they take him.

Second, the characters and interactions felt believable and so I was always interested in seeing how their personalities and relationships with our main character would develop, but again it kinda irked me how detached we are from the main character because at around the 60% mark his life makes a turn and, again, he's kinda just going with the flow of it but we don't really get to see what's going on in his mind. Snippets here and there, but most everything is just "in the moment".

I was thoroughly enjoying this book up til the 50% mark, and that's when it began to drag a bit even though this kind of marked the turning point in Michael's life which caused him to seek out something different, and I started enjoying it again at around the 70% mark, and liked the ending although I wish there was a tad bit more development there, but I definitely felt the chemistry.

Now, this book definitely needs a proofreader to go over it before it's published, because there were quite a few typos. Words missing in sentences, the occasional "wouldn't" where it should say "would" and things along that line, "he was balling" instead of "he was bawling", "He shrugging" instead of "He shrugged", one time I even spotted a random question mark in the middle of a sentence where it definitely wasn't supposed to be. Hopefully the book is reviewed and fixed from these mistakes before its official publication, but I feel like it most likely will be seeing as the publication date is still a ways away, so maybe I'm just being nitpicky, but you never know.

The whole time I was reading I was imagining this book as a Gregg Araki movie, because that's the kinda vibes it gave off, but the actual writing style reminded me of Mysterious Skin (the book, not the movie.)

This book is rough around the edges but I definitely see a lot of potential for this author if he works on developing his characters more. Like I said, I would definitely be interested in reading more from him in the future so I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for any future works.