I love books where I genuinely believe that the author knows a lot about their subject because you get so much extra detail and texture that makes it feel fully fleshed out; I'm not a ballerina and never have been, but as a layperson, this read so well. Gripping and haunting, for fans of Black Swan and ritual blood pacts.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher Bonnier Books/Hot Key Books for the digital ARC, it has not affected my honest review.

TW: self-harm, death, murder, blood, racism, classism, parental abuse, ritualistic behaviour

The first things I noticed about this book are its stunning cover and its long title, all of which immediately appealed. “I Feed Her To The Beast and The Beast Is Me” is a horror mixed with a thriller YA that follows a ballerina named Laure Mesny. She wants nothing more than to make it in the vicious world of the Parisian ballet, which is even more of a struggle because she’s Black, penniless and completely without any support. Driven to extreme lengths to become the greatest ballerina, Laure descends into the Paris catacombs alongside the current most famous dancer Josephine to make a deal with an ancient god by bathing in a river of blood. Laure is promised the power to cause adoration and devotion going forward but it’s still not enough, especially when faced with the terribly privileged, white world of ballet. Soon it turns out that the god has been seeking out people for years, meaning that Laure has unintentionally joined a group of four others with similar deals. Becoming addicted to the power she’s gained and willing to do anything in order to keep it including murder, Laure keeps renewing her deal, no longer caring who she has to crush in order to stay at the top. However, the deal she’s made soon proves to be more powerful and it becomes apparent that Laure has truly become the villain of her world, even as a murderer targets the best dancers in Paris.

The writing of this book is lush and engrossing from the first page, drawing the reader into the deeply morally corrupt world of Parisian ballet. There's a starkness to Laure's narration that I really enjoyed, we see everything through her eyes and that really changes how the story is told. Her relationships with the other dancers and then the others who have made deals with the god are interesting and incredibly dark as the story goes on. The horror of the god in the catacombs was my favourite part, there were aspects I could easily imagine on TV, as well as how Laure never forgets what people have done to her. I wish there hadn't been a romance in this book, since I think it takes away from the tension of the story around the halfway point, but overall I think this book is a brilliant debut, with strong and morally grey characters who will do anything to get what they feel they deserve.

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me is an amazing debut from Jamison Shea, and I loved everything about it from start to finish. This is a slow burn horror that is both compelling and unique in both topic and creativity. Laure is at a prestigious school of ballet in Paris fighting for her place to be the best of the best. The odds are stacked against her due to both race, upbringing, and the bias of those with power. Despite being the best in her class, Laure has to fight for every spot and is constantly judged by all around her. When she goes out for a drink with a successful ballerina who has the key to help her achieve the greatness she has, Laure grabs at it with both hands. But there's a darkness involved, and Laure may be in danger from not only her success but the darkness she's bargained with.
I loved how the author highlighted and tackled so many subjects within this book especially in relation to society, expectations, privilege, power, fame and perfection as well as the dark side of ballet and the marginalisation of communities. The ending was satisfying and very well wrapped up, and I can't wait to read more from this author!

Well this book did not disappoint at all it’s creepy and twisty and I couldn’t put it down!
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book.

This was a bit of a mixed bag for me and I'm honestly sad that I didn't enjoy it more. I thought the premise was really interesting and I did enjoy the focus on the world of ballet, particularly the cutthroat nature of ambition. I just found the pacing a bit strange and wasn't sure what the overall intent was. There was a mystery element, but it wasn't given enough focus to make it compelling and the horror aspects fell a little bit flat. Overall, this was generally ok, but I wanted to love it.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Thank you so much to Bonnier Books UK/Hot Key Books for providing me with an eArc of this novel in exchange for my honest review.

Overall I did really enjoy this book but I also felt like there was something missing.

I loved how ballet played into it and how this novel showed a darker side to the behind-the-scenes of it all. The descriptions were unnerving (In a good way) and the horror elements while sometimes felt tame, were so well written I got chills.

For me, the pacing of the book was a bit slow at first, especially the beginning, which I think is why it took me a while to properly get into it. But in the end, it was really good and creepy, a great YA Horror that I recommend you read!

As a character, I really did like how Laure was written. Her determination shines through each page until it becomes too much for her and she snaps under the pressure and does what she does to get ahead in a rich, white-centred world.

All characters in this story are morally grey, but with Laure, to see why she does the things she does, and to walk with her through the journey, I thought was truly fascinating.

This book brilliantly combated and spoke about institutional racism and the working-class system, and how Black and BIPOC people, even when they are the best in their field, have to push further just to be seen, heard and valued.

For it being a debut novel, I really enjoyed Shea's writing and look forward to what they publish next!

Wow. I never thought I could fall in love with the ballet aesthetic more and then this book happened. It caught the competitive essence perfectly and also highlighted tremendously well how in such a business you are always second guessing yourself, especially as a lower social-economic black women.

The writing style that the author adopted in her Debut novel guided the reader through the text whilst also creating high intense scenes, and during Laures ballet interview I felt as though it was me twirling and pirouetting on stage.

The book had the perfect balance of light and dark, euphoria and pain, horror and romance; it was a perfect blend of styles and genres.

I did find that at times the narration lost its firm sense of direction, but I think this was just because the author was passionate about creating intense sequences and wanted to move forward in a scene with out glossing, not because of careless or unthoughtful writing.

Thank you to the publisher for providing me with an ARC copy of this book, and thank you Jamison Shea
for writing such an enthralling, ethereal Parisian novel.

When I saw that this book was compared to Ace of Spades, I was ECSTATIC!

This did not disappoint! A horror novel that follows Lauren who has no prospects, family or anyone to call her own as ballerina. She works to prevent making a single mistake because she knows it could cost her everything. I loved the weird and wonderful world the author paints. Always wondering if she's enough, she always tries her best, but when she discovers a sinister secret and a world hidden deep within ballet, she questions everything.

I adored the writing. It actually made my skin crawl and the descriptions themselves were so haunting and creepy. I liked Lauren and the direction of the story and found myself viciously rooting for her. Being a Black girl in ballet, she;s trying to fit in, but no matter what she does, she doesn't feel like she's enough.

Go into this blind, and you will LOVE this eerie novel. 5 stars!

Laure is in her final year at the ballet academy in Paris. She consistently ranks as the top performer in her cohort, but is shunned by the majority of her peers and told to her face by board members of the Paris Ballet Company that her Blackness means she wouldn’t be a good fit. As auditions for a spot as an apprentice in the company approach, a chance encounter leads Laure to an underground river of blood and the chance to make a deal. Laure’s new power unlocks a darkness inside of her that she doesn’t dislike, but when other people who’ve made deals start showing up dead, the monster within might be the only thing that can save her.

Have you ever put so much energy and effort into something, only to realise that nobody’s ever going to recognise any of it? Have you ever burnt yourself out trying to meet the ridiculous expectations being placed on you? Have you ever been so angry about this that you wished you could just destroy it all? If yes, this book is probably going to resonate with you.

I found Laure to be a fascinating character and I really enjoyed reading from her perspective, but she has the potential to be divisive. She’s determined, she’s ruthless, and she’s at times blatantly unreliable, telling the reader one thing while certain events point to the situation being at least somewhat different to her perception of it. When she hurts people she doesn’t waste time or energy regretting it. To be clear, I loved her! If you support women’s wrongs then you’ll probably love her too, but people who prefer their stories and protagonists to be clear cut good guys are probably not going to get along with this book as much. Shea has described this book as a villain origin story and that description is absolutely correct.

This is a horror novel, but it isn’t strictly the fantasy elements that make it so. The cutthroat world of ballet, the ways in which it’s institutionally interwoven with classism and white supremacy, and the lengths people will go to uphold all of these things, contribute more to the horror than the existence of the deals themselves. The deals the characters make do result in them getting more than they’d bargained for, and this alone would’ve been enough for an interesting story, but this isn’t the direction in which this story goes. Instead we get a sharp critique of the ways in which established institutions, such as the Paris Ballet, are designed to favour those who look a certain way (white) and who come from a certain background (wealthy), and an examination of just how unreasonable the expectations for those who can’t meet its ridiculously high standards are. It’s discrimination and desperation that drives Laure to make her deal in the first place. It’s white entitlement that leads to every horrific death in the book.

I also really enjoyed the romance subplot! The relationship between Laure and Andor was such a slow burn that I didn’t realise it was happening for a decently long time, but I was loving the growing friendship and closeness between them long before it took a romantic turn. Their dynamic as a couple is definitely a fun one. Get yourself a man who will literally worship you.

I would recommend this to those with an interest in performing arts and how those industries can treat the people within them, to those who like stories with complicated narrators who aren’t necessarily the quote unquote ‘hero’, to those who like stories exploring the fallout of a deal with an entity with unknowable intentions, and to anyone looking for more horror centering a Black protagonist and stemming from how that protagonist proceeds when faced with racist institutions that would rather see them gone.

It's classified as a YA but it's a disturbing horror set in the world of ballet. We talk about dancers but any place where the performance is the driving force and the rivalry is a powerfuld driver would do.
You can sacrifice to a primordial and dark power or choose to sacrifice all to your ambition and narcisism.
That's the game and this horror does an excellent job in representing a cut-throat world.
It's hipnotic, I started reading and it was like being in a sort of trance as the author did an excellent job in describing the ballets, the movement and the emotions.
It deals with racism, nepotism. There's a lot of blood and its' very creepy at time.
Excellent
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine

Laure Mesny has wanted to reach the top in the world of classical ballet & has worked hard & sacrificed so much, but Laure is Black & it seems no matter how hard she works, it will never be enough. Instead she watches her best friend receive unwarranted preferential treatment because of who her mother is, so when the opportunity arises for Laure to receive the power to control those around her & gain an advantage, she takes it. It involves blood sacrifice to Acheron, the ancient river of Hades, which presents as a river of blood flowing in the Paris Catacombs. At first things seem to improve, but there are several strange deaths, & Laure struggles to contain the darkness within which is rising to the surface.

For the first half of this book it was a solid 5 star read. I was entranced by the descriptive prose of the ballet scenes & the author conveyed so well Laure struggling to succeed in a world which is determined to reject you. The author also neatly reminds the reader of all the microaggressions involved in racism, such as the complimentary cosmetics always been several shades too light. Laure is a great main character, she is tough, but you want her to succeed against the odds, to make up for having to pickpocket to afford the leotards & tights needed, & for having to put up with the snide comments & looks from other less talented dancers.

The second half of the book didn't quite live up to the first half for me though. The first half worked so well as the author kept a balance between the real world & the Elysian underworld in the Catacombs. This balance tipped too far in the fantasy direction in the second half (perhaps illustrating Laure's loosing control at times) but it became a little too flowery & overly descriptive at times & the ending took too to conclude. It was like a Hollywood fight scene where the baddie keeps on getting up way after they should have died. Overall, the book was a really good read though & I enjoyed it although I think the horror side could have been played up a little more.

TWs: blood, murder, death.

My thanks to NetGalley & publishers, Bonnier Books UK/Hot Key Books, for the opportunity to read an ARC.

I thought the author did a phenomenal job showing the darker side of professional ballet and competition and the inherent racism built into these institutions.

I think this will go over well as a YA Horror but it felt too tame for me

I ended up really enjoying I Feed Her To the Beast and the Beast is Me!
It was definitely a slow start, and I was a little unsure about it at first, but it was totally worth pushing through as by the end, I was really loving it!

I thought Laure was a great main character! Not that that's a surprise as I love villainous characters. I also really loved Andor!
My favourite part of the book was the romance, and I definitely wish there was more of it as it was so good!

In the end, I really highly recommend this book!
Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

I firstly want to thank Jamison Shea, net galley and Bonnier Books, U'K - Hot Keys Books.

A solid 3 star read for me. I didn't hate it but I didn't love it. I will definitely read more of their work in the future.

I think the author is very talented you can tell by how she writes. I found the story a little confusing, but I think that's on me. The characters were likeable, I enjoyed that aspect of the story. I just struggled to understand what was happening a lot of the time.

This book is definitely giving Black Swan vibes with the ballet and the darkness that surrounds the shows. Ballet is so beautiful and delicate on stage, but it is described here as very cutthroat and savage behind the scenes.

Laure is on the outside of the high society and has to work even harder to just get a chance at parts and try to get the other girls to embrace and even remotely respect her.

In an effort to do this, Laure bonds with another ballet star, from a less than extravagant background, rumours circulating that she must be a witch to get where she got to.

Turns out, this isn't too far from the truth. Laure is escorted to a dark Catacomb where a Primordial being will give her unsurpassed power and fame... but for a price.

But when her new found mentor falls from grace, Laure is pulled even deeper into this dark world to find out what happened and also learn how to control her new power.

Deliciously dark book, perfect for upcoming spooky season

Thank you to NetGalley and Bonnie's Book/Hot Key books for the chance to read this early... this hits shelves at the end of the month

Really enjoying this, the dark, creepy ballerina vibes are fantastic! It’s a really fun idea for a YA book and executed very well. Thank you Net Galley for allowing me an early read of this

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me is a darkly delectable book that has stolen a slice of my hungry heart.

I absolutely loved this riveting, bloody and feral look at ambition in a Faustian take on Black Swan. There is something just so enjoyable about the vividly angry nature of this book. This is an unbridled, bloody book about the pursuit of ambition at all costs. I love Shea’s unashamed look at girls gone feral and that untapped rage within most women. This is a book that unleashes it, pulling it to an extreme. It is full of the desire to strike back at a world determined to destroy you. After all, when the world will not accept you despite all you try to sacrifice for the world, why would you choose not to tear it apart?

Shea’s writing hums with an electricity I have not seen for a while. They take you from the beautiful facade of ballet, with its scars, bruised bones and pursuit of aesthetic above all else, to dark, gory scenes of eldritch horror. This is at once a sort of coming of age narrative, a classical tale of revenge and a terrifying murder mystery. Shea balances all of these elements perfectly, with pacing that does not allow you to draw breath and twists and turns that left me staring into the middle distance. This was an all-consuming reading experience. You feel yourself tumbling into the dark pit alongside Laure. She was someone who stole my soul instantly, with such a fierce hunger and passion. Watching her character arc over the course of the story is nothing short of phenomenal. Going into the book, I did not know there will be a sequel, but now it is all that I crave.

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me is a fang-toothed beast, determined to draw blood and demand its place in the world.

FEED sounded like everything I could ever want in a YA Horror novel: a black MC, the body horror of ballet, giving into base desires and ferity, a scathing rebuke of elitism, of white supremacy and its casual privileges, prejudices and violence, so I’m as shocked as anyone that at the end all I could say was I liked it and I would read the sequel. I was prepared to be absolutely obsessed, so I’m a bit bummed out.

That being said… it IS an enjoyable read. And I WAS stuck to my kindle for 4 hours straight reading it. And I DID gasp at all the right spots.

I felt that the book really shined in its portrayal of the racism that Laurie faced and we love a good revenge moment.

Looking forward to the rest of this series and to see the growth of this author!

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

“I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me” was dark and gritty, and it drew me in with its seductive, creeping horror.

Full of flawed and morally grey characters, who are all the more intriguing for it, this book showcases the monsters we can become to gain a sliver of power in a world that would eat you up and spit you out.

Laure, the main character, drew you in from the first page. Her grit and determination in the face of everything thrown at her was admirable and really made you relate to her. Everything she does and everything she feels in this book is so relatable to the reader, a mark of a well written character. She really makes you feel that even her more questionable choices are justified and you can’t help cheering her on, even through the darkness.

The setting of Paris and the Palais Garnier was perfect for this book. It’s just the right amount of creepy and yet magical. The pacing of this book was also incredibly well done. It’s a slow paced book throughout, with flashing moments of intensity, drawing to a very satisfying conclusion.

Overall, this was an entertaining and thrilling book.

3.5 stars.

There is a lot to love about this book. A gothic horror about the ballet, with a twinge of dark academia as well as discussions of race, class, inequality and privilege (and the obliviousness of those who have that privilege). The prose is also excellent yet accessible, just hitting the right spot for YA.

Our main character, Laure, is a fiercely flawed ambitious human who has to work 100x harder than her peers to achieve the same things, and this is a tale of her snapping under that pressure. 'Morally grey' does not adequately describe her. Coralie is also a fascinating character to behold in much the same way as the protagonist of Yellowface - her complete lack of understanding of the privilege she holds, despite having watched Laure's struggles over the years, is horrifying.

Though I took issues with some of the pacing - particularly near the beginning, where there are big time jumps - in general, this book is fast-paced and quick to devour. My only real complaint comes in characterisation outside of Coralie and Laure. Perhaps the cast was too big, but I found it difficult to form any attachments to other characters, and I don't understand a development in a relationship near the end of the book. But regardless, I'd highly recommend this.