[arc review]
Thank you to NetGalley and Montlake for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review.
Before I’m Gone releases November 7, 2023

A five star read from the first page.

<i>Before I’m Gone</I> is bittersweet, beautiful, heart-wrenching, and heart-warming all at the same time.

Palmer has suffered from chronic migraines for quite some time, which unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, turned out to be a side effect of having a brain tumor (glioblastoma).
Her life is unexpectedly upended when she’s given a terminal diagnosis, and she hopes she has enough time left to live out a bucket list.

Kent, a paramedic for the San Francisco fire department, and a regular at the bank where Palmer worked, has recently been given some life changing news and is going through a personal fallout of his own.
As a way for him to heal, he decides to take a sabbatical and accompanies Palmer across the US since she grew up to be independent with no close friends or family due to being left at an orphanage at a young age and ultimately aged out of group homes.

<i>“I know this seems unconventional, but I want to be your someone. I want to help you live out your days the way you could’ve lived your life.”</i>

The ending doesn’t come as a surprise given the nature of the story, but it’s the journey to get there and the memories made that makes it worth it.

This was 100% a “right person, not enough time” moment and it tore me apart.
Stories like this always put things into perspective. To paraphrase the dialogue from one scene: don’t wait until you have an end date to start living.

If you’re a fan of early Grey’s Anatomy/Station 19 and want to ugly cry, I’d consider checking this out!!

I’m itching to know what Palmer wrote in her letter! I would have liked an even longer extended epilogue for further closure.

♫ Live Like We’re Dying by The Script/Kris Allen ♫

5 Stars for the soul-wrenching story!

Make sure you have a box of tissue handy ... this is one of the saddest books I have ever read! There were times I was sobbing so hard I had to stop reading to try and collect myself so I could continue. There is no other way to put it ... Palmer was dealt a awful hand in life ... I just can't imagine what she went through. And Kent is a knight in shining armor. I absolutely loved him for helping Palmer try and find peace. The author gives us a view of what life is like with a terminal illness ... and it isn't pretty! I highly recommend this book .., just be ready to cry.

Palmer never had a family, she grew up in a orphanage and when she was eighteen she put that life behind her. Now, in her late thirties, she's the manager of a bank, but hasn't really lived her life to the fullest. When she passes out at work, an ambulance takes her to the hospital where she finds out she has a brain tumor and has about six months to live. Kent is a paramedic and when they are called to the bank he deals at, he can't believe that the beautiful Palmer is the one who needs help. Later that day, he finds out that his girlfriend is married to someone else and is pregnant ... he is devastated but knows their relationship is over, He just wants to know if the baby is his. The next day he comes across Palmer and he finds out her fate. When he learns of her bucket list he devises a plan to take her on a cross country trip to mark off as many things on her list as they can. He also needs to get away from his life for awhile and what better way to do it while helping Palmer. This will be a journey of a lifetime for them both.

I received an early copy courtesy of Montlake through NetGalley.

I really liked the premise of this book and was expecting an epic Bright Side ugly cry meltdown-if you know you know. However I might be one of the few that read this and don't absolutely love it. I really didn't connect with these characters for some reason. I honestly didn't feel that the chemistry was right between them either it seemed odd to me. Not natural or genuine I guess is what I'm looking for. I wanted to root for them but it just fell flat for me and I can't quite pin point exactly why. I still enjoyed the story and I do love this author so it pains me not to rate it higher. Was it emotional? Yes especially at the end. Did it blow me away? No not really.

It has been a while since I have read a book by McLaughin, mostly due to timing. This one hits you hard with the feels right out the gate and you are taken on a raw and heartbreaking ride with it. With Palmer's health and her wanting to complete that bucket list to Kent being there with her. It is a wild ride. You can tell that the emotions that McLaughin wrote bleed into the pages.

A real tearjerker!
I will admit, I struggled with the first half of this book. However, beyond 50% the story started coming together for me. It was emotional, it was thought-provoking. It was a testament to strength and resilience. This is a story about a woman, Palmer, who was dealt a terrible hand in life from the time she was a child to her adulthood, and the punches don’t seem to stop coming. During the most difficult days of her life, Palmer finds a true friend someone that is there for her in a way she has never had, and someone who puts her first, above everything else. Kent is an extraordinary human being; his selflessness was inspiring. The final 20% of this book absolutely destroyed me as everyone was coming to terms with what the future was going to hold; beware, I was on a plane when this happened don’t be me!!! But truly such an emotional book!

Before I’m gone
By: Heidi McLaughlin

📚💕⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💕📚

Tore me apart!

Omg in yet another book that Heidi McLaughlin tears you apart we get Palmer and Kent’s story. I’m on a book hangover and might be for a few days. Yikes I loved this book even through all my tears. The authors writing flawless and the words are so captivating, the plot had so many twists and turns and none that I was expecting, and many shockingly intimate I have become a huge fan of this author. The author writes with so much intensity and emotion pulled from each book it’s felt page after page. Some are quick witted story lines are so perfect and lets you believe you have a front row seat. So being able to read this love story didn’t disappoint. The authors ability to have two separate individuals struggling in their everyday life and try to navigate someone else’s thoughts, needs and desires was intense and gives all the fills.

Authors Blurb: Palmer Sinclair has never needed anyone’s help. A successful loan officer, she’s all work and no play. But when splitting headaches and blurred vision begin to affect her job, she begrudgingly sees a doctor and receives a diagnosis that leaves her shaken to her core and with little time left. Facing an uncertain future, Palmer makes a bucket list, determined to do the things she’d only dreamed of before she goes.

Kent Wagner has dedicated his life to helping others. An army medic turned paramedic, he’s a regular at Palmer’s bank who makes his monthly car loan payments in person just to see her radiant smile. After responding to not one but two 911 calls involving Palmer, he learns about her bucket list. Touched by her circumstances and needing a distraction from his own Kent offers to take Palmer to the places on her list.

Neither is prepared for the emotional journey ahead…or how little time they have left together, but the friendship they find in that brief time might be the most lasting legacy of all.

This book has everything I love in a book. Then you add that it's beautifully written and believable. It is easily a five star read. Written in dual POV my personal favorite this story flows so incredibly well that the next thing you know your 80% into the book and loving every second of it. The believable way the characters interact is perfect. Run, Hop, Jump or use your (1 click) finger to do whatever you have to do and get this amazing book. It'll break your heart, you'll want to scream with frustration and it'll let you discover that love just might conquer all. The chemistry is steamy and sweet and oh so romantic.

Thanks Netgally for letting me read and review.📚💕

4.25/5 stars!!!

This book was...wow. I have no words honestly. It's one of those books that you know whats going to happen, your heart knows whats going to happen, but there is a slight hope that slowly dwindles the more you read that everything will work out. I loved this whole heartedly. This book really puts emphasis on the live your life to the fullest quote, and had me truly rethinking everything I put off until tomorrow or will do 'later'. Later is not promised AT ALL. Kent and Palmer really have my heart. This is one of those reads you think about for a REALLY long time after, and start considering all your life choices.

A little mini synopsis:
Palmer was simply going to work and going home each day, with not much thought about having friends, traveling, or just living in general. Suddenly, her life came to a screeching halt with a diagnosis that she was not expecting. She now had so many things she wanted to accomplish after realizing she barely had done anything with her 37 years of life, and ws given only 6 months. Kent was a paramedic who met Palmer and decided to take her to see everything she wanted to do before she was gone. However, life is bittersweet.

The only reason I gave this a 4.25 and not a 5 is because there are a few things I would change, and thats not being descriptive enough about the time frame. I'm not sure if that was on purpose or what, but I felt lost constantly with how long it had been in the book, and by the end I honestly thought it had only been like two weeks or something, come to find out their trips were over like a course of 2-3 months or something (I could legit still be wrong which is why I am saying there needs to be some sort of week mentioned, month mentioned, day count...or something. ) I also wish we got more of Kent and Palmer in general, and although we are following them through their journey 95% of the book, it just felt like we were describing the places they were going a little TOO much. I wanted to know what Kent was thinking all the time and what Palmer was feeling more. It just felt a little too descriptive on the world around them and not about them if that makes sense.

Overall, I loved this book. It was heart wrenching, sad, and just overall a book that really makes you think about life and how we should be living, not waiting to live.

4* It's a romance, so I wasn't expecting the ending, which was sad-happy.

This book threw me, and not many do. Part of me thinks I should have checked the blurb more carefully, part of me is glad I saw the Montlake name and grabbed the book, going in blind.

I'm not sure that I understood all of Palmer's reasons for where her life was, or that she ignored what were far more than warning signs, or how she 'exited' her life to avoid emotions and interactions with people, but I did understand her wanting to fulfill her bucket list. That Kent went with her felt quite a bit out of the blue on such short acquaintance, but they worked as people who could be friends.

I'm not sure I saw their romance or felt it, but Kent was the perfect companion for her, given what she was going through, and both characters' generosity shone through in their actions.

The ending made me cry. I really thought that there was going to be a Bollywood ending, but the author kept it real. There are parts of this novel that will have readers in tears before this part, so maybe the tale needs to come with a warning. It engrossed me, which surprised me, tbh, as I didn't think I'd be this involved with Palmer, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her with all her short life had been about. I wish there could have been another ending, a happier one, but the author kept it real, and made it a more emotional tale for it.

ARC courtesy of Montlake Publishing and NetGalley, for my reading pleasure.

This book was hard at times to read, but worth getting through those parts to get to know the whole story of Palmer and Kent. It was hard to put down because there are unexpected parts and conversations and by the end, you feel like your time with these characters was well spent. This is my first book to read my Heidi McLaughlin and it won’t be my last!

Thank you so much Netgalley and Heidi for the review copy!

*Actual Rating : ⭐⭐⭐.75 / 5

Lord knows I hate it when my teachers give me 3.5 instead of 4 but here I am. The truth is I disliked a lot of things at the beginning. I disliked their conversations. I disliked how Kent bizarrely convinced her to go on that trip. If I were Palmer and the paramedic who came to answer my 9-1-1 call suddenly wanted to make my last days remarkable by planning this expensive tour, I would have called the police. They were either too melodramatic or too unrealistic. Or maybe I am the problem. Maybe I have turned into your average cynical person. I don't know. But the tour really worked for me. Those historical facts, meeting with Courtney, dancing in the rain knowing that there will be consequences but not giving a damn about it. I loved the rawness of the description. I LOVED how Lana was a consistent source of comfort (Yay queen). I loved the vulnerability, the ugliness of the tumour or as Palmer named it - the octopus, the seizers, the mood swings and I certainly loved the last chapter. So yeah. If the opening bothers you as it bothered me, hold on. Better chapters are coming. I wish I cried. I didn't and that kind of makes me feel like a criminal. I guess I really am the problem. Recommended!

Before I'm Gone by Heidi McLaughlin is absolutely unputdownable. Correction- unputdownable except for all the times you have to put it down to wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and make yourself actually breathe again. Wow, HM has knocked it out of the park with this one I love all her books but seriously, I'm not quite sure what to say about this one. It's heartbreaking and funny and inspiring and... The most important thing I can say is just: Read it!!! You're welcome.

Whoa - this was a tough read because you needed lots of kleenex. It was sweet, heartbreaking and full of love. A Paramedic (Kent) knew Palmer from his bank, but never asked her out as he was dating someone else. When she collapsed, he was the one that helped to to hospital. That's where she found out she was dying. He found her bucket list and was determined to help to do as much as possible. At the same time, he was learning about Palmer, he found out his girlfriend was married and pregnant. That really shook him up and he decided to take leave from his job to get away with Palmer. Their journey was not without medical issues, but they both made the most of it. Palmer's life had been tough - raised in an orphanage and never adopted. She finally finds out how she got there and that was very touching. Many people knew about their journey and helped them along the way because of an instagram account they made. A very touching story that I'm so glad I read. Just have kleenex ready you'll need them

The way this book made me feel ALL the emotions. I just should have known what I was getting into just by the title, but when it really became a realization I just felt this warmth the whole time. Palmer is facing a diagnosis that has her wanting to live her life like she never has before. Kent comes in at the perfect time and gives her everything she dreams of, and more. They save each other and have the most beautiful story along the way.

Thank you to NetGalley, Montlake and Heidi McLaughlin for sending me an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I've bawled my eyes out and I just want to say: did I finish this book or did this book finish me?

I barely could put this book down. I had things to do and all I could think about was Palmer and Kent, as well of what both of them were going through.

This book is so much more than a romance, as some readers might envision it. It is about death, mourn, relationships and life.

Always remember to live, go! Do it! You won't regret it! At least you're trying, even if it all goes the other way! Don't let it all for the last minute, you never know what can happen.

I received this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Our lives always cross paths for different reasons and as fate would have it, Palmer and Kent were meant to meet for a reason. From the outside, Palmer looks to have it all. A great job, co-workers and a boss who respect her and customers who are happy to see her. Each month, Army medic turned paramedic, Kent comes into Palmer's bank to make his monthly car loan payment. Each interaction between them has her admiring him from afar and him complimenting her smile. No matter how many interactions they have, that's all they do until they see each other the following month. Behind the scenes however, Palmer's past is a mystery to her and now her life has gotten more complicated with health issues as Kent comes to her aid twice. Kent proposes a fun arrangement to help her explore the country and go to places she's never been to before. Although his idea is to help Palmer experience more in life, Kent realizes he is also the one who has been missing out on certain aspects of his life.

I won't lie, this book will pull out all your emotions and will tug at your heartstrings. I can't remember the last time a book had me crying more than one chapter in a row - it was quite a few in fact. The biggest reminder I received from reading this was don't let your life pass you by. As I say quite often, live life fully; buy the ticket, take that trip, tell the ones you love how you feel and LIVE LIFE! Life is meant to be lived now and not with "somedays" or "maybes" but now.

Thank you to NetGalley and Goodreads Author for the ARC. I thoroughly enjoyed Before I'm Gone and highly recommend it. Thank you Heidi McLaughlin for this amazing and emotional read.

The idea of someone choosing to assist a near stranger complete their bucket list is lovely and I appreciated that aspect of the journey that Palmer and Kent take. Palmer has never really gone anywhere or experienced much in her life so her list is not what my list would be and felt very haphazard. She has already endured so much in her life, I wanted her to experience all the happiness she could grasp. Kent is both being altruistic and avoiding the recent complications in his own life. His seeming to hide from his situation frustrated me a great deal and ties in with my complaint about this book. These characters are facing a lot of heavy stuff but it is not treated with any real depth at all. Everything is kept on the surface which made it hard for me to believe in their relationship or be as emotionally invested as I would expect by a book dealing with these topics.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

Talk about a book that will tug at your heartstrings! It was an emotional rollercoaster. My heart ached for Palmer, but I was so happy that she had Kent. He was the balm that she needed for her soul. He stepped up to the plate and was just such a great guy. I knew going in that this was going to be a hard read. Honestly through all the turmoil there was some happiness to see Palmer enjoy the time she had left, and for Kent to be able to give her some happiness and love as well.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

This book is definitely an emotional rollercoaster, I cried and laughed all the way through. The only negative I have is that is takes a while to get into and I admit I put it down a few times and had to persuade myself to go back to it but once the story properly got going I sat and finished it that day.

For anyone wanting a book about fried, friendship and living your life to the best you can then this is one for you.

"Before I'm Gone" by Heidi McLaughlin is a profoundly touching novel that serves as a poignant reminder to live life to its fullest. The characters are masterfully written, and Palmer Sinclair, the protagonist, stands out with her fierce independence and resilience. Her journey, though heartbreaking, is inspirational and one that makes you rethink your perspective on life.

As we follow Palmer through her diagnosis, the bucket list, and her journey with Kent, we are taken on a rollercoaster of emotions. The plot is structured in a way that, even though we know the end from the very start, nothing prepares us for the impact it will have. The narrative is a beautiful mix of strength, vulnerability, hope, and the pursuit of happiness that will bring readers to tears, making it almost impossible not to put the book down for a while to gather your thoughts.

Kent Wagner, the kind-hearted army medic turned paramedic, adds another layer of depth to the story. His dedication to Palmer's bucket list and the bond they form in such a short time is genuinely touching. Their friendship, albeit brief, carries a lasting impact that makes readers root for them until the end.

I extend heartfelt thanks to NetGalley for providing an advanced review copy of this wonderful book. Please note that this review is my genuine and personal perspective.

Oh what a book, absolutely fantastic read. Extremely well written, such an emotional read. Would highly recommend.