I always think I'm going to love everything by Sheila Heti and I'm always disappointed. On paper she's everything I want in an author.
She moved from fiction to auto fiction because inventing characters to go through the motions of real life was such a drag. And I get that. But this is way too experimental with none of joy of deciphering for the audience. Think Cortazar's Hopscotch or even my beloved Choose Your Own Adventure stories. This was like someone finished writing a novel and then accidentally sorted and filtered it in alphabetical order and instead of pressing control Z decided that'll do.
Yes I'm sure it's fun to see most used words and what they reveal about you. But this had an urgency without content and as such, made it hard to read or enjoy or engage with.

I was very intrigued by the concept of Alphabetical Diaries, and having previously enjoyed Heti’s How Should a Person Be?, my hopes were cautiously high. I am pleased to report that this is such a worthwhile read. Heti is an excellent writer and the unusual concept pays off as it produces numerous wonderful juxtapositions from sentence to sentence. I loved tracing the names throughout and then wondering which ‘he’ or ‘she’ was being referred to. I can see why some might not enjoy this kind of literary experiment but personally I loved how inventive it was and how humorous, erotic and oddly poignant it proved to be.

Sheila Heti's Alphabetical Diaries are, at least initially, easier to admire than to enjoy, but they develop a compelling fascination as (and if) you stick with them. The book's central conceit, taking 10 years of diary entries and rearranging their sentences in alphabetical order, is bold and intriguing, but takes a while to adapt to. Once you have, the diaries have a double effect, being both unsettling, in that chronology has been largely jettisoned, and gradually familiar, as you come to recognise individuals, preoccupations, tropes and concerns. Some of these (relationships, writing, becoming known) are surprisingly consistent. Ironies appear constantly, where observations are not followed e.g. "It is an honourable thing and a wise decision not to speak about your relationships", or where juxtaposition creates new meanings: "I am not Leonard Cohen. I am not sure that I like this realization". Sometimes, the new juxtapositions create poignancies and absurdities e.g. "Grandma died. Grandma has been sick. Grandma is ailing still. Grandma said that sex is the glue". I'd have liked to have learned something about how Heti put the book together, and what she thinks about the dominance of certain sections ("I" unsurprisingly), words ("maybe") or issues, but that would detract from the purity and simplicity of the exercise.

While it's almost certainly not for everyone, and you need to invest time and attention to get the most out of it, Alphabetical Diaries is, like so much published by Fitzcarraldo, a thrilling experiment.

This is a collection of ten years of diary entries, thoughts and memories arranged in alphabetical order. As an intellectual exercise this seems like a super interesting thing to do. As a thing that you are doing for yourself this seems like a really fun thing to do, that could throw up some really fascinating connections and ideas that as a traditional narrative you may have missed. As a thing to read, it's not so fun. I found myself frustrated at the non-linear narrative and the time I spent trying to figure out who the people were and who the 'he' and 'she' and 'they' of some of the sentences are. I read the whole book, but confess that I felt like giving up a few times as the more I read, the less I knew. It had a Ducks Newburyport vibe about it that I did not enjoy. This feels like the sort of book that super clever people will love and people who want to be super clever will tell you that they loved.