‘Troubled: A Memoir’ by Rob Henderson is an intimate and captivating account of his experiences in foster care and his later life in an adoptive family. Henderson’s storytelling offers a powerful blend of personal anecdotes and reflections on class and privilege, reminiscent of books like ‘Educated’ by Tara Westover and ‘Hillbilly Elegy’ by JD Vance. This memoir was incredibly thought-provoking—I found myself constantly highlighting passages that challenged my perspective on the importance of stability and love in childhood. I highly recommend it to readers who enjoy reflective, impactful memoirs.

This memoir discusses the effects early abandonment and neglect, followed by the dislocating nature of numerous foster care placements, had on the emotional/mental health of the author and how these kinds of circumstances can affect the future outcomes of those who experience them. It is a fascinating read, heartbreaking yet insightful, and it highlights the privilege that a 'normal' childhood brings. It is obvious that the author's intelligence was the advantage he possessed over some of his peers that allowed him to pull himself out of the dark place he found himself in. The last section has some things to say about 'luxury beliefs', privilege, academic institutions, societal attitudes & prejudices that are intriguing and, in part, pertinent. Overall, fascinating and thought provoking.

Troubled is first and foremost, not a pity memoir. It's a candid account of an insecure and traumatic childhood, and the effects of this.

Rob entered the foster care system at a very young age. The pain of being moved around was visceral and the description of shutting down emotionally really hit me hard.

Eventually adopted, there was still trauma and rejection.

Little wonder that the author became emotionally numb and turned to alcohol and weed to escape his reality.

Entering the military provided routine and stability, but as so many of us have learnt, you can't outrun your childhood forever. Alcohol became a problem.

Seeking help and dealing with the psychological damage caused from an unstable childhood, led Rob in another direction. To college at Yale, followed by Cambridge. To say this is inspiring is true. But I don't get the impression that Rob wants to inspire. More that he wants to show that you can change the trajectory of your life if you acknowledge the pain it has caused you, and seek help to process this. Rather than inspire, I feel Troubled is offered as a comfort, a reassurance that the past doesn't have to define the future.

Incredibly well written and researched, I absolutely loved reading about Rob's life and thoughts.

Troubled, the part memoir, part manifesto from Rob Henderson is a fascinatingly structured book, softening the reader up with two hundred pages about his undeniably harrowing childhood and adolescence, adding some reasonable analysis of the importance of children growing up in stable, loving family units, before hammering them with his half-baked hypothesis about class.

Each chapter is written from the perspective of Henderson at a different ages, from very young childhood to late twenties, and the author makes it clear from the outset that he will leave the analysis and reflection to the later chapters because this is the point at which he had the distance, knowledge and understanding to reflect on what had happened to him and what his experiences represented for society more broadly. His story of being shuttled between overcrowded foster homes, and then of the series of misfortunes that befell him after being adopted, is both heartwrenching and compelling. Henderson's points about the importance of firm boundaries, high expectations and secure attachment are eminently sensible and backed by not only anecdotes from his own life and his friends' lives but by comprehensive research.

The main theme which underpins Henderson’s recollections of his early life is family, and the importance of stability and security to children growing up. He rallies against schemes aimed at helping young people from disadvantaged communities get into college, for example, citing considerable research suggesting that educational opportunities cannot make up for a chaotic homelife. However, while he is very clear on what is not helping these children to be happy and fulfilled, he fails to posit any solutions to what he believes is the biggest problem afflicting poor Americans.

Henderson makes interesting observations about 'trickle-down meritocracy' at top universities, whereby positive discrimination policies have been put in place to address the lack of diversity (racial and economic) in the hope that the advantages these chosen members of a community accrue will ultimately benefit their whole community. But then, seemingly without irony, he writes that, 'Representation certainly benefits a handful of people who are chosen to enter elite spaces, but it doesn't seem to improve the lives of the dispossessed. In fact, it might backfire. Elite institutions strip-mine talented people out of their communities. Upon completing their education, most of these graduates do not return to their old neighborhoods. Instead, they relocate to a handful of cities where they live alongside their highly educated peers, eroding the bonds of solidarity they had with those they left behind. And who could blame them? It is reasonable to use your talents to advance your career and financial prospects. But if the original intent was to help languishing communities, then this particular solution is failing.' It is unclear how he squares this belief with the hope that children will be inspired by his story, which can only be heard because he wae selected for these opportunities.

I had not read Henderson’s 2018 New York Times op-ed Luxury beliefs are the latest status symbol for rich Americans prior to beginning Troubled - possibly because, to paraphrase Henderson, I don't have 'the kind of job that allows you to browse Twitter' or affords you the time to 'stay current on the proper way to think about social issues.' Thus, I came into Henderson’s book under-prepared: I expected a memoir but wasn't ready for the proselytising.

Henderson’s theory about luxury beliefs evolved from Thorstein Veblen's The Theory of the Leisure Class (1899), his angle being that in the 21st century, rather than indulging in frivolous, economically unproductive hobbies such as golf or beagling, the upper class fritters their time away thinking about the irrelevance of religion, cultural appropriation, and the legalisation of drugs, amongst other ideas which ordinary people cannot spare a thought for because 'they have real problems to worry about.'

According to Henderson, the only reason why anyone would hold these beliefs is to show off their class and education to their peers, just as one might flaunt a designer handbag or expensive car. Somehow, he is able to categorically know that no one has come to these conclusions through their own research, or that they truly understand the stances they are endorsing.

Henderson glibly muses that, 'Maybe the luxury belief class is ignorant of the realities of who is most harmed by crime. Or perhaps they don't care that the poor will become even more victimized than they already are.' And yet, a cursory amount of reading would reveal that the American War on Drugs, to use an example of a policy counter to one of Henderson’s luxury beliefs, is responsible for swollen prison populations, single parent families and millions of families ruined by addiction. This is just one example of Henderson’s argument seeming under-researched and flawed. He just isn't that informed about some of the issues that are central to his hypothesis, he makes lazy presumptions about the net benefit of ideas he supports, and his ignorance only serves to patronise those whom he purports to speak for.

Henderson’s theory is littered with contradictions; it is painfully ironic that the people who would have the time to read his op-ed, his newsletter and his book, and to ruminate on his ideas, are the very same people he decries. At the time of writing, he has spent time in poor working class communities, in the United States Air Force, and at some of the world's top academic enclaves. How does he know what 'ordinary' people believe about these issues? The rigour of his research into the role of the family has been replaced by anecdotal evidence camouflaged by statistics, and, while I do not dispute that he observed a correlation between students from specific backgrounds subscribing to specific views, this does not prove causation. Indeed, if Henderson were to spend time in a town with similar deprivation markers to his adopted hometown of Red Bluff, but with a predominantly Black population, he would likely find support for the idea of police reform. Furthermore, in having the time to conjecture on his ideas whilst pursuing a PhD at Cambridge University, has Henderson himself not become one of the elites he so despises?

Georges Prat, a Canadian criminal lawyer, writing for Medium in 2021, had this to say of Henderson’s hypothesis:

If I were to guess, I’d say Henderson is simply a highly conservative person who arrived at university and hadn’t been in touch with left-wing woke politics prior to that. He had a strong sense of certainty in his own views, so when he encountered opposing views, he didn’t even bother entertaining them to evaluate their merits. Instead, he dismissed them as nonsense. After that, he had to find a way to reconcile the apparent intelligence of his peers with the “nonsense” views they held... One gets the sense he feels so certain in the correctness of his conservative views that he came up with a way to explain away the opposing views held by his university peers, i.e. “they only believe that because they’re affluent status seekers displaying their luxury beliefs as a way to move up the social hierarchy. Obviously the ideas themselves have no merit.'

It is a shame that Henderson chose to conclude his book with his soap-boxing, as the rest of the book is moving and rousing.

Thank you to NetGalley and Swift Press for the opportunity to read and review an ARC of this book.

This book was great. The story of Rob’s upbringing is harrowing and so upsetting, but the book equally provides hope and inspiration. I loved this book and what it taught me about childhood instability.
I finished the book over a week ago and can’t get Rob’s story out of my mind.

Rob Henderson's life began in the turbulent waters of uncertainty—born to a drug-addicted mother and a father he never knew, he found himself navigating through ten different foster homes in California. Adoption into a seemingly loving family held the promise of stability and safety, but life had different plans. Instead, tragedy, poverty, and violence became the defining elements of Henderson's adolescent years.

In "Troubled," Henderson offers an unflinching portrayal of shattered families, desperate circumstances, and unyielding determination. The narrative unfolds as a raw testament to his resilience, detailing how he found a path to escape through military service. This escape paved the way for an unexpected academic journey at prestigious institutions such as Yale and Cambridge.

Amidst his triumphs, Henderson candidly reflects on the fate of many of his friends who succumbed to the harsh realities of drugs, death, and prison. Despite his academic achievements, he grapples with a lingering sense of being on the outside looking in, recognizing that the love and protection found in stable family life remain elusive.

Within the pages of "Troubled," Henderson dissects the hypocrisies embedded in contemporary social class structures. He sheds light on the concept of 'luxury beliefs' held by the most privileged, beliefs that, paradoxically, perpetuate harm to the most vulnerable members of society. The narrative serves as both a personal memoir and a critical examination of societal disparities, prompting readers to confront uncomfortable truths about privilege, class, and the impact of systemic inequalities on individual lives.

The E-Book could be improved and more user-friendly, such as links to the chapters, no significant gaps between words and a cover for the book would be better. It is very document-like instead of a book. A star has been deducted because of this.

This is a first for me by the author and one I enjoyed and I would read more of their work. The book cover is eye-catching and appealing and would spark my interest if in a bookshop. Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

I am very glad this book started with the sentence it did. Rob Henderson opens the first chapter by saying he graduated from Yale. If he hadn’t, the book would have been much harder to read. The beginning isn’t a ‘spoiler’, it’s a beacon of hope. Mr Henderson grew up in foster care and it did not go well. Some of his truths are shocking. I had no idea that foster kids were deliberately moved every few years so they don’t get too attached. It means they spend their whole childhood adrift.

The author became a bit of a delinquent. He found things to cling to and he did have some good people in his life. But he absolutely pulled his life together by his own strength of character and determination. And from that viewpoint, this is an inspiring read.

He goes from a life on the borders of society, to an excellent career in the military, to essays published in the New York Times and having conversations with Harold Bloom. What a guy Mr Henderson is and what an inspiration.

I was given a copy of this book by NetGalley

Eye-opening and heartbreaking. This book is absolutely needed, because many of us have no idea about the realities of the life Rob describes, and we breezily think that a good education means the person has succeeded in life, without giving much thought to how their early life affects them. Kudos to Rob for writing it.

This was definitely a 5 star read for me as I love inspiring stories like this one! Rob has done so well for himself but he hasn’t ignored that other people’s support meant he could reach his full potential.

This is worth a read and is coming out on 20th February 2024! Thanks to @_swiftpress and @netgalley for my review copy.

This was incredible. It was emotive and thought-provoking. The last few lines spoke to me and made me think ‘it’s amazing life advice for parents’. I woke my wife up in the middle of the night to read it to her.

"Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class" by Rob Henderson is a powerful and thought-provoking memoir that sheds light on the complexities of the foster care system and the impact of social class on a young life. Henderson's storytelling is candid and raw, offering a firsthand account of his journey through foster care, navigating the challenges of identity, education, and personal growth.

The memoir delves deep into the emotional and psychological struggles of a young man who moves from one foster home to another, providing readers with a unique perspective on the experiences of foster children. Henderson's resilience and determination to break free from the cycle of adversity and achieve academic success are both inspiring and eye-opening.

"Troubled" is not just a personal narrative but also a reflection on the broader issues of inequality and social mobility. It encourages readers to reconsider their understanding of social class and the obstacles that many individuals face in their pursuit of a better life. Henderson's memoir is a must-read for anyone interested in the foster care system, social issues, and personal transformation. It is a heartfelt and courageous account of one man's journey from a troubled past to a promising future.

Wow, what a confusing chaotic childhood. Completely get how Rob says that the foundation for progress is a stable and loving home life. Yes education opens lots of opportunities but if you are not in a position to take those opportunities they are not a valid choice.
It explains why boundaries are needed and why so many young men thrive in the military and struggle to return to civilian life.
All credit to Rob for opening up and sharing his life.