Real Rating: 4.5* of five

What a wild ride. I knew, by the end of the read, what it feels like to have paranoid hallucinations, and let me tell you it was 1000% more effective than "spernatural" horror could ever be. Tell me all the mishegas is a demon, I check out; tell me the MC is fresh out of the bin and these weird things are happening, I'm terrified. Plus horror in hot climates works better on 80° (Fahrenheit, obvs)-ought-to-be-illegal me than sweater weather ever could.

Add in homelessness, that scourge of the capitalist world we love for its trinkets and need for its ability to keep us alive at the expense of our future, and my knees are knockin'. All of these elements are central to this story. Alex is genuinely unsure what's in her head and what's not. When, ten years ago, I had a stint in the bin, my roommates were schizophrenic...can you even imagine hearing voices, having hallucinations so real you respond to them like they're there? I don't think you can unless you've seen it, and you will never, ever again think of mental illness as a dodge, a lie, a clever ruse to work the system.

So I'm pretty much the perfect reader for this horror story. Where's that fifth star?

I loved Alex's unapologetic, unexplained queerness a lot. She's just...queer. Nothing's made of it; it just is. This does come with a price. Alex is also not connected to reality in part due to trauma that, again, just is. This makes some of Alex's behaviors feel unmoored to the (negligible) plot. That isn't a problem per se but does leave things, eg relating to Alex's ethnic identity, up in the air that could usefully have been expanded on. It's a quibble; I was drawn along by the sheer richness with which Author McDaniel wove the tapestry of Alex's experience of her world.

This is a horror novel for people who do not read horror novels. It's also truly the best novel I've read about the actual experience of mental illness, of fracturing in the mind, about how the world can simply weigh too much to be borne.

This queer horror was something to sink my teeth into. Following Alex, the story is mainly character based over plot with Alex’s challenges and struggles after their attempt holding some focus. This book is one that could resonate with a lot of people as it goes through a journey touching on topics such as trauma, healing, mental health, as well as human vulnerability, and these themes, as previously said, hold the main bulk of the story that I gathered. The horror aspect was present, but was not as prominent as I was expecting, but still overall a great read!

this book was a fever dream and I’m not entirely sure I know what happened. sometimes that’s a good thing but I think I did a little too much head scratching in the middle without feeling entirely rewarded by the ending.

This was a 5 stars. This follows Alex who a chronically ill student at a university. She attempted suicide and was hospitalized. She's broke, gets kicked out of her campus living, she can no longer afford to go to the university. A former high school friend offers her a job housesitting and she takes it. This story is sad, heart wrenching, and just amazing. I highly recommend it.

i really wanted to like this but there is a scene early on, one that acts as the catalyst to the remainder of the story, that feels way too similar to one from Liar, Dreamer, Thief by Maria Dong. the opening of this novel also feels kind of...messy. it's the kind of opening that tries to be gritty and real, but feels sensationalistic and more suited to a piece of media from the late 90s/early 2000s. if this novel is on your radar i recommend you check out reviews from readers who have actually finished this.

I tried really hard to get into this one, but I just wasn't able to. I am still really thankful to the publisher, author, and netgalley for granting me advanced access to this digital collection before publication day.

This book is about Alex, a college student dealing with some heavy trauma and mental health issues. They are offered the opportunity to housesit on a secluded island accessible only by ferry for the summer.

The story is heavy on the character development but somewhat light on plot. The characters are diverse, queer, sometimes loveable and sometimes not.

If you've struggled with your mental health at some point there is a good chance you will be able to relate to the main character. But definitely check your trigger warnings before jumping in to this book.

Alex is set up as an unreliable narrator early in the story and the author does a great job making the reader feel the same confusion that Alex feels. You are not certain whether what they are reporting is reality or their paranoia or possibly a twisted memory.

There were some plot points that had me expecting that the book would have a mystery or horror element but nothing really came of them and in the end they were kind of just dropped.

Overall you will enjoy this book if you like slower-paced, emotionally charged, dark, and character driven stories.

I thank ECW Press, RJ McDaniel and NetGalley for the chance to read the eARC for an honest review of the book.

Sadly, this book wasn’t for me. I wasn’t able to get into it at all. I read to about 30% in and I still wasn’t vibing with it. The writing is top notch and I know for sure that it will find its audience. I DNFd it.

Released from a hospitalization, Alex doesn’t know what to do with her life. The answer seemingly comes in the form of an old friend who offers her a house sitting job. This turns out to be too good to be true.

This one claims to be horror, but I didn’t get those vibes here. It was more of a character study about Alex. I think if I had understood the true genre going in, I would’ve enjoyed it more. As it was, I kept looking for more spooky or suspenseful things that were not there.

This was the best slump buster! Atmospheric, eerie and unsettling but not is the horror scary way, more the foreshadowing anxiety inducing way. My favorite kind.

Alex has struggles with identity (gender, race, sexuality, disability, mental illness) and a history of abuse which is very cleverly layered into the narrative. All of this is covered in a way that is so matter of fact, not being a key plot, just her normal which was refreshing.

Speaking of plot, there isn’t much of one, this is all about the characters and ultimately a story of survival. An excellent debut, look forward to whatever comes next.

Well plotted, well written and full of food for thought. I liked the storytelling and the well plotted story
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine

I wouldn't classify this as a horror but more a delve into the phycological mind of a queer adult trying to process trauma and identity. The focus of the book is on the mental stability and turmoil of Alex who is processing their suicide attempt and the dissolution of their relationships.

I thought the voice of Alex was interesting as they depicted their own internal struggles through depression and understanding the impact their actions have on their own psyche. The change in pronouns halfway through was a little jolting comprehension wise but it also paralleled Alex's own identity and how they were not previously fully accepting of themselves since their own traumatic and abusive romantic relationship ended.

There absolutely needs to be trigger warnings with this book. Depression, suicide, and abuse are prominent themes in the book.

Well this is a fever dream of a book! Alex, for me, was a very relatable character, complete with a life of flaws and awful decisions. The book is very character heavy and lacks plot to be honest but for me the character study was worth a lot. It’s eery, mysterious and has an odd charm with the added bonus of deep character analysis. Alex struggles a lot but this is all portrayed so so well.

Alex's struggles with identity (gender, sexuality, disability, mental health, race) add so much to the story but are cleverly not the main plot points which, as a queer, disabled reader is refreshing. Sure, theres probably better representation out there but this felt very real and fleshed out.

Some will definitely find this to be a slow read, especially with how long the chapters are but this structure works, especially as the books pace changes with Alex’s paranoia

McDaniel captures the monotony of a life like Alex’s so well and I definitely think it’s worth a read.


Thank you to ECW press and Netgalley for the ARC

This book is a fever dream and a half! Alex is a sympathetic character, full of flaws and bad decisions. Though this is definitely a character study with minimal plot, the book has all the charm and tropes of a good literary horror: the eerie, isolated environment and the house that feels like another character. These aspects fell short of my expectations, but I'll admit, I did not expect the ending. (I thought I had it figured out, but alas—maybe this is me mourning the ending I thought I was going to get…)

Alex's gender, sexuality, disabilty, and race add layers to their character and story and never become the focus or main personality trait. I'm neither trans nor Vietnamese, so I can't speak on whether this is a good representation, but the narrative and characterisation felt authentic and fleshed out. 

Some readers may find this slows or drags the pace of the story, but as someone who lives with mental illness, this feels very real and true to form. This is exacerbated by the long chapters. That said,  I think this structure works for the book, and there are faster paced scenes scattered throughout, especially when Alex's paranoia ramps up! 

McDaniel wonderfully captures the monotony and meandering of living when you didn't think you'd still be alive. “Survival. This is what it is. isn't it, this relentless, airless nothing [...] This is what she'd spent so long avoiding.” Here, Alex drinks vegan protein powders, watches influencer drama videos, tries anything to stay lingering in that liminal space between institutionalisation and going back to her “normal” life. Then comes the complacency that is trying to die, failing, and continuing to live because you've given up.

This was a very difficult read for me (in a positive, cathartic way) because of how eerily similar the protagonist's mental illness manifested itself to my own, as well as the fact that my first serious relationship was almost identical to their unfortunate relationship with Adam. Alex's struggles to navigate self-identification and pronouns due to past trauma also hit very close to home, and I was so grateful to see myself so thoroughly in this book. The island felt perfectly ambiguous as to whether it was actually cursed/haunted/insidious which really allowed the spotlight to shine on the characters themselves. Thank you, R. J. McDaniel, for writing this book!

I really wish I liked Alex more than I did (or in this case, didn't). I'm also aware that they are coming back from something as awful as a suicide attempt and hospitalization, but god was I so confused by their personality. The whole point of their character was to be a not-great person, but I found it hard to root for them.
Dealing with gender dysphoria, body dysphoria, suicide attempts, a new location so quickly after being hospitalized. There's really no wonder Alex isn't the most likeable person.

Me not liking them as a character did not take away from the story. It got confusing at times because we were in their head a lot, but their attempts to reach out to make friends or to accept love (love?) from Amara made me hopeful for the future of Alex.

I sped through the last 10% because I wanted to finish it on my lunch break, but I might come back to it.

I agree with a fair amount of other reviewers that this is a more literary, intense novel with social horror elements, rather than a supernatural horror book that is somewhat hinted at by the synopsis. That will probably hurt the book's release, to an extent, which is a pity because this is a phenomenal book. It is, however, as I previously mentioned, incredibly intense and traumatic, but it's such an incisive look at mental illness, white supremacy, academia, and toxic relationships.

*Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc copy in exchange for an honest review.*

This was a decent book, but I was expecting it do be either more suspenseful or to have more horror vibes. This covers a lot of dark topics and has a lot of representation, but it almost felt like the author wasn't sure where they wanted the story to go.

There was not a lot of plot to this book. It's more of a character-driven story, and if you can't relate to the characters, this may not work well for you. I could luckily relate very well to the main character so I didn't ever want to abandon the story as I wanted to see if they would get a happy ending.

If you are someone who suffers with mental illness, you may want to check the trigger warnings before reading. There are some dark/important topics covered in this book.

⚠ Suicide attempts
⚠ Suicidal thoughts
⚠ Depression
⚠ Chronic Illness
⚠ Paranoia
⚠ Discrimination
⚠ Harassment/Abuse
⚠ Victim blaming

I was hoping by the end of the book some of my questions would be answered, but I just felt like the ending was quickly thrown together and it didn't really help me. The whole story kind of confused me, I was never really sure what was going on.

The author did a great job developing the characters. I really connected with the main character and the love interest. The whole book I was just hoping that there wasn't something weird or creepy going on and the love interest was real and honest. The author even succeeded in having me question the things I was reading.

This is perfect for someone who enjoys darker, character-driven stories with a slower plot line. Or someone who likes stories that cover the harder topics.

Thank you to the publisher and RJ McDaniel for providing me with a digital ARC in return for a review.

I didn’t really know what to expect going into this book, especially given that I don’t often read horror. I will say that for fans of horror they might find it a little lacking in the genre department - it’s unsettling and tense but not worthy of the horror title in my opinion.

However, I found the story and the characters compelling and richly drawn. I thought the exploration of gender was particularly interesting, and well demonstrated through the use of pronouns in the prose. I also very much enjoyed the writing style and found it easy to be swept along by McDaniels’ prose.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publisher for a free copy in exchange for an honest review!
Unfortunately I couldn't enjoy the novel as per my capacity. My mind couldn't engaged and I found the pace off.