This book is definitely outside of my usual wheelhouse. I picked it up as part of a buddy read where we challenge ourselves to explore different genres and voices, and I’m so glad I did. Bad Habit completely surprised me with how deeply it moved me. It’s not an easy read in terms of subject matter, but it’s one of the most honest and beautifully written books I’ve come across in a long time.

The story follows Álex, a young trans girl growing up in working-class Madrid in the 1980s and 1990s. From the first few pages, her voice pulled me in. The narration is raw, intimate, and emotionally intense, but never overdone. You really feel like you’re inside Álex’s head, experiencing the confusion, pain, and moments of joy right alongside her. I wasn’t just reading about her I was feeling everything with her.

What really stood out to me was the way Alana S. Portero portrays identity, shame, and survival with so much depth. This is not a story with easy resolutions or tidy character arcs, but that is what makes it feel so real. There is grit, vulnerability, and heartache, but there is also community, strength, and small victories that feel monumental.

The older trans women who become part of Álex’s life are written with such nuance. They are complex, flawed, protective, and at times harsh, but they offer a kind of love and guidance she can’t find anywhere else. Those relationships felt like the heart of the novel, showing how vital chosen family can be when the world feels hostile.

I didn’t expect to connect with this book as much as I did. While the setting and specifics might be far from my own experience, the emotions are universal: the ache of wanting to be seen, the fear of not fitting in, the search for people who make you feel safe. It made me think, it made me uncomfortable at times, and it made me grateful that stories like this are being told.

Bad Habit is one of those rare books that feels important and powerful. If you are looking to step outside your comfort zone and read something raw, poetic, and deeply moving, I highly recommend giving this a try.

A hopeful novel about a trans woman growing up in Madrid, and both the struggles and support she finds as she grows up. Whilst I can't speak for the original language, the translation felt well-written and easy to get lost in. A story about people helping others to survive, and one that you can easily get through in one sitting.

A heartbreaking, yet promising tale about a trans woman coming to terms with who she is and the journey she takes to get there. I really didn’t want the book to end when it did but I understand why it had to end there. Hopefully more people will be able to come to terms with accepting transgender people in society.

This book was so well written. It was emotive and fast paced with a range of different characters. If I could give 3.5 stars on here I would - it was an interesting read but I would advise people to check their trigger warnings before delving into it.

I requested "Bad Habit" by Alana S. Portero because the setting combined with a blurb from Pedro Almodóvar intrigued me, but other than that I had no real expectations. And then I really fell for it, this book was an unexpected gem for me and left me deeply moved.

The story is set in 1980s and 1990s Madrid and Portero really brings the city (and its suburbs) to life. The world of the novel is raw and atmospheric. Her main character feels completely alive, she's written with such honest and unflinching detail and care. The story is achingly human and relatable. I found the prose almost poetic, but never overdone—it’s gritty and beautiful. It left me a bit heartbroken and but also a bit hopeful.

So this book kind of snuck up on me and stayed with me long after reading.

Translated by Mara Faye Lethem

Alana S. Porter's Bad Habit was a wonderfully raw and visceral read. Set in 1980s Madrid, the story centres on an unnamed protagonist who grows up knowing they were born in the wrong body and are in fact a girl. Whilst it doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of life on the streets of Madrid at that time, it is essentially an uplifting story of empowerment. I really loved it.

A well-crafted story with plenty to appreciate. The pacing, characters, and plot twists kept me interested throughout. I'm looking forward to seeing how readers respond once it's released!

Bad Habit is heartbreaking, tender and also fascinating about Spain in the early years post-Franco. Alana S. Portero vividly creates the world of a working class neighbourhood on the edge of Madrid with all its kindness, brutality, tolerance and prejudice. Álex, the central character knows who she is from a young age, but the forces preventing her from coming out as a trans woman are strong. Each step forward is countered by a shove backwards. The supporting cast of characters who inspire her as the years go on are wonderful. Despite bleak moments and an unflinching look at hatred, Bad Habit is ultimately hopeful and really beautiful.

This is an absolutely beautifully written coming of age narrative of a trans-woman struggling to reconcile her gender identity with the society around her. The cast of characters are incredibly vibrant and the reader is immersed in the world, joys and struggles of the protagonist. I can only highly recommend this important and powerful novel.

Bad Habit by Alana S. Portero, translated by Mara Faye Lethem, is a trans fairytale, a rare piece of urban folklore, an undiscovered ancient myth, a lucid dream and tragic nightmare all rolled into one.

We follow an unnamed trans woman as she grows up, discovers herself and tries to find her place in a hyper masculine community in Madrid. She loves and lusts, is subject to cruelty and violence and most importantly, discovers guardian angels in the form of her local trans elders.

This is a story of suffering and suppression. Difficult to read at times, but all the more important for the light it sheds on the struggles of trans women.

Only small slithers of hope are offered, but when they come they are heartening and deeply wholesome. Portero shows us the tenderness and love shared by the women in the trans community, as they trade kind words and paint their faces for another day of war.

A very tender trans coming of age story. It is written like a memoir which was a really effective method of story telling. There is so much pain, confusion and anguish in the book that it hurt sometimes to read but the story is so special, it is a really valuable read.

Bad Habit immerses readers in the poignant journey of a girl trapped in a boy's body, navigating the gritty realities of working-class Madrid. Alana S. Portero captures the protagonist's struggle for self-understanding with a poetic and mythic touch, set against the backdrop of the city's heroin epidemic in the 1980s and the vibrant, chaotic nightlife of the 1990s.

In a blue-collar neighborhood ironically named after a saint, the protagonist feels out of place, yet finds solace and identity in Madrid’s downtown party scene, populated by junkies, pop stars, and other marginalized figures. The novel explores her quest for community and self-discovery amidst the violence and danger that come with each choice. With its blend of lyrical prose and gritty realism, Bad Habit offers a powerful and evocative portrayal of coming-of-age against a tumultuous urban backdrop.

Probably one of the most beautiful books I have read this year. I need everyone to read this book, its magical, wonderful, heartbreaking, and oh so memorable.

A gut-punch of a book. Poetic and raw exploration of working-class families, survival, gender, sisterhood, chosen families. All against the backdrop of 90s Madrid. A visceral read. A huge highlight of the year for me so far. I will watch out for whatever Alana S. Portero writes next. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC! 💘

This is a story of a young trans woman growing up in a working class suburb. It’s coming of age, evocative and poignant. The book is so heartbreaking and devastating. I deeply felt for the main character and all those women.

Set in downtown Madrid. Author takes us back in 80s and 90s. A young girl was growing up but she had so many questions. She witnessed some things and some terrible things happened with her. Author has portrayed lives of a transgender people and how it is for them growing up, realising the truth and accepting it along with self realisation. While the narrative kept me engaged. I liked the observations of the main character and how she just did not believe what she heard but tried to see everything from her own perspective. Author has also splattered light upon gender and class. I like the main character’s interest in mythology, how they related their life with it and strived to become powerful.

Thanks to the Publisher and Author

A brilliantly written and devastating book about transness and the heroin epidemic in the poorest neighbourhoods of Madrid. This novel is political and brutal, not shying away from the root causes of the epidemic and how it affects the most impoverished, keeping poor neighbourhoods poor through planned action. But it is also tender, bringing the characters in these neighbourhoods to life and treating them with the respect that they are not given by the outside world. A brilliant expose on the intersection of transness and poverty with a truly human heart.

I thought this book was a really great queer novel which explores the underbelly of Madrid and the variety of people which inhabit the city. It looks at the negative things which plague a lot of the people but also the main characters experience as a trans women and how she finds her way in this world.

My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for my free digital ARC of Bad Habit by Alana S. Portero, translated from the Spanish by Mara Faye Lethem. I bloody loved this book, it was messy and devastating and beautiful and hopeful. It embodies the powerful bonds forged between women, and trans women in particular. Álex, the main character, recounts her life and the women who have helped shaped it. Hers is not an easy life, growing up a trans girl in a working class neighbourhood which both scorns and reveres its women. The theme of neighbourliness is not one I come across often in fiction, which I definitely think is reflective of how isolated we are now as a society. But the women who live in close proximity to Álex, both trans and cis, look out for one another, doing the best they can amid violence inflicted by men. A flawless translation, a love letter to solidarity, just gorgeous.

This is such a painfully tender story of a trans woman's coming of age and moving through the world that doesn't want to accept her for who she is.

Whilst the book is filled with pain, violence, anguish and longing it's also overflowing with love from family and the love and support of the different women she meets in her life, who each teach her something about being herself, resilience, beauty and bravery. The trans solidarity all throughout the book gives strong rays of hope through the darkness and made life worth living for our main character.

This book rings so true and reads as if it were a real memoir telling the real and authentic story of how it can be to grow up and survive as a trans person in a working class neighbourhood and a city of little acceptance, but still being surrounded by so much love by those few special and important people we encounter in our lives.

This book was beautiful, well written and translated, extremely descriptive and funny but above all, devastatingly honest.