Othered is a vulnerable and honest retelling of a grief story, and one we can all find pieces of ourselves within. Jenai's experience and willingness to share make space for the rest of us to do the same. Much like our experiences in churches, there will be readers who feel the theological conclusions included are inaccurate or lacking. In the same way, there will some who find Jenai's presentation of faith to be the very thing they've been thirsting for and unable to locate.

Rather than continue the narrative of othering, we can seek to find threads toward community and a collective space of sharing within Jenai's work. The church may not like it, but we all belong. ;)

In 'Othered,' Jenai Auman presents a work that is part memoir, part guide to those who have experienced hurt and harm at the hands of religious institutions (Christianity in particular) and does so with all the gentleness and compassion of someone who really, truly, has been there herself. There are perhaps few things so devastating as finding oneself betrayed and wounded by a religious or spiritual community of which one has been a member, of which one has felt a valued part, in which one has found belonging and purpose, friends and family. When that happens, the results can and often will be devastating, and the aftermath an absolute minefield, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, physically, and mentally, to navigate. Of her own experience, Auman writes, "Exile, sojourner, orphan, widow, and stranger are words that name me" (Location 111). Having been effectively "othered" by what might have once been one of one's deepest and closest communities leaves one, entirely validly, adrift, lost, lonely, abandoned, questioning, doubting, angry, hurt, grieving, and a thousand thousand other things.

Today, particularly among evangelical Christians, the term "deconstruction" is used frequently as a buzzword, either for or against: either "pro" the process of disentangling oneself from experiences, legacies, teachings, or other aspects of a church (or of the church collectively) when one has been abused, mistreated, injured, or traumatized by them; or "against" what some see as a mass exodus out of flawed institutions that won't ever be fixed if nobody stays. Auman is less concerned with buzzwords and one stance over another, and far more concerned with the hearts and souls and hurts of those who have been the ones abused, mistreated, injured, and/or traumatized. She writes with tenderness and vulnerability, sharing her own experiences of betrayal and loss after the leaders, members, and culture of a church harmed her. In her story, I found so much of my own, and was so incredibly thankful not only for her quiet honesty but also for the threads of hope throughout that bind the hard parts together. Those of us who have been wounded by a religious institution, a religious authority figure, a difficult historical legacy, or any other aspect of a religion wielded against us either overtly or covertly will find succor and companionship in 'Othered,' for Auman is our kindred spirit.

Content warnings: Do be aware that this book, per its very nature and subject matter, contains discussions of religious and spiritual abuse in many of its forms. Also be aware that these topics are treated with the utmost care and consideration for survivors of such experiences.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest, though not necessarily positive, review. The opinions expressed are my own.

There are multiple portions of this book that I underlined, and I *truly* appreciated Auman’s personal story woven throughout the entire book. I sincerely mean that. The rating is not for the story shared or how a book on this topic is needed, but due to a few things that have me confused/that don’t seem to line up with Scripture (of importance here due to the nature of the book, the book description, and the publishing house).

Here’s one:

In chapter 10, Auman writes “God never commands his people to forget. There is no biblical mandate that says “forget and move on.” However, one Scripture that came to mind immediately is Isaiah 43, which says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” While I can step back and see another truth here, that all throughout Scripture God does indeed say “remember”... and Auman is correct in that stuffing hurt under the rug and "just moving on" is not the answer... it is nonetheless false to say “God never” here. It’s a sweeping statement that is incorrect, and there are no footnotes provided in the book for this statement/nothing showing how she reached this biblical conclusion. I would hope a Christian author and publishing company would show something here to back up a huge claim of ‘In all of Scripture, God never….’ so that I can trust other truths presented in the book, but a few things like this left me confused/wondering.

I was looking forward to this book as someone who has felt othered by the church for a while now. Unfortunately the book was just hard for me to get into. The memoir portions of the book didn’t really resonate with me. It may have been a tough read because the author’s journey is so different from mine, or maybe I’m just not in a place where I’m ready to hear what she has to say. I’m sure it has messages that will be helpful to many people who have been othered.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC.

Beautifully written and powerfully convicting, Othered doesn't hold back from revealing the sin and pain of abuses of power. But then through stories in Scripture, it also shows the beauty of God's pursuit of the marginalized and broken-hearted, showing how God cares for and redeems both the abuser and the othered. This book will be a comforting balm and a soothing companion to anyone who feels less than and left out by the church.

Disclaimer: I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for a review of the book and am personal friends with the author.

As I read this memoir, I felt a bit like an imposter. I am a white cis woman who has never been "othered" by the church or society. However, I really enjoyed the perspective in this book and felt as though I learned a lot about how I can empathize with and support those who are "othered".

If you’ve survived the fire of faith communities like me, this book will feel like water to soothe your scorched soul. For those who have felt moved to the margins due to gender, sexual identity, race, politics, you will feel seen, included, and welcomed. If you’ve experienced the diminishing or dismissal of your voice, presence, or personhood, may you discover validation and reclaim your agency.
By sharing parts of her own story, Jenai demonstrates a courageous path forward for those who want to name abuse in the church. She serves as a trustworthy guide to help you name your experience, make space to grieve your losses, and rediscover your deep roots of belonging.
OTHERED offers an eyes wide open kind of look at the parts of the American church that many would prefer not to acknowledge, much less address. She provides a prophetic call for those who claim to follow Christ to make way for the least of these, to build bigger tables, and to “expose and oppose injustices.”
If you’re tired of spiritual bypassing and weary of advice to just try harder, may you find rest and comfort in OTHERED.

So with that, I was excited when this book came on my radar. While this book centers more specifically on Jenai's personal trauma with being othered by her church, it does have strong callbacks to the Bible and particular messages within the Gospel. I do wish that Jenai had found a way to incorporate more stories of those harmed by the church. I don't doubt anything that Jenai had written, but with more stories comes more credibility and I wonder how easy it would be to discount this book as 'one person's experience'.

I read this hoping to learn how the church as a whole could find a way to heal the (often) systemic issues they have caused, but this is more of a personal journey in repairing an individual's relationship with God. This is what lead to my 3 Star rating.

(thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review)

Jenai's book has given me language and understanding about today's Christian church in America and the ways it too often others those who don't conform. Now I understand my experience better, because she shared hers. Definitely worth reading by anyone who's ever felted left out at church or by those who want to learn so they don't other their brothers and sisters in Christ.

God's people are meant to be a blessing to others. I am agree 100% with this statement. Just like Israel, we are meant to be a blessing to others. But, Israel actually fails to do God's command and monopoly God for Israel. This book has bring to another perspective about God who sees, hears, and loves you--even if the church has failed you.

Othered by Jenai Auman

2 stars
I am having a hard time with the review and rating of this book. Jenai Auman was very hurt by her church and this book relates to much of that horrible experience.
First, I wish this was more of her story and less of her theology, as some of her wording gets strange. For example, Ms. Auman states that by reading the Bible and understanding it, you become a prophet. I do not believe this to be true and I am not sure where that belief comes from because it certainly is not a biblical concept. I don't know if it that is just poorly worded on her part or if she truly believes that to be true.

There is a lot of good and helpful bits in Othered for those who have been harmed by the Christian Church and the people within its walls. It helped as it is so nice to know you aren't the only one to have been harmed by the church. But then... the theology gets questionable and my discernment starts yelling at me internally saying “no, that's not right”.

Her intent is good as is her heart . I wish there was more of her story and less of her theology.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley.

Jenai Auman bravely shares her experience of being marginalized in a church community where she previously served. With empathy and compassion, she invites readers—who may have been in a similar toxic environment—to recognize and name the harm done, validates their feelings, and offers guidance to process their pain. She gives voice to church hurt by redefining this vague term and calling it as it really is—betrayal of trust. This book helps readers discern whether you are in such a situation. The book explains how theological terms, such as grace and sacrifice, may be distorted to protect perpetrators, and it helps readers distinguish true discipleship versus "a demand for control." Jenai brings awareness about "fauxnerability," a false vulnerability and transparency that hides a leader's greater character flaw and abusive actions. Furthermore, power and growth can be detrimental when improperly used to boost a leader's identity and self worth. Yet, despite the harm Jenai experienced from church leadership that rocked her faith, she still found solace and belonging in Christ.

Jenai shares her journey of being mixed race and how the othering she experienced in this unhealthy church environment denied the "imago dei" in her that God created as good and unique. I like how the author brings another layer and nuance to this area and challenges American churches to evaluate how they need to grow in their awareness of the diverse needs of their congregation instead of assuming members should just assimilate.

I find this book a unique and valuable resource as Jenai also includes research about attachment theory and trauma and how it relates to faith. Although my viewpoints may differ from the author on specific issues, I found this book is still valuable and worth reading to gain a deeper understanding of othering and a more trauma-informed perspective about how to process and approach situations and organizations that may be toxic. Jenai provides the reader with hope that leaving a toxic church environment doesn't mean abandoning your faith in Jesus. God is still faithful in the midst of brokenness.

I had high hopes for this book - this is an issue that the culture, and even the Christian culture - are talking about a lot these days. Unfortunately, I found the book arrogant, defensive, and completely unrelatable.

The author starts by asserting that she was "othered" by her church when she showed up late to an optional Bible study and attempts a justification for her lateness without ever actually owning her lateness; she was, in fact, late, but she shifts the focus onto the reaction of a pastor to her lateness and then throws in a few "there were other things that happened, too" into her story, but no details, until she is finally shown the door by her fellow ministers. The only concrete example we have is one meeting to which she was late, and we're supposed to take it on her word that they were unfair to her in a lot of other very wounding ways, and it's just not sufficient for me to buy into the premise.

She then takes the rest of the book to set up an us vs. them - the corrupt, evil, mean-spirited, and demeaning church leadership and the saintly "othered," who hold the key to solve all the problems if everyone else would just listen to them. The way she continues to paint church leadership (and not just hers, but it seems all church leadership in general) with such a wide, hateful brush is doing exactly the same thing to them that she claims they have done to her - she's othering them. By the final chapter, she admits that maybe they are broken and wounded, too, and suggests they probably don't even know that they are, so again, here she is as the savior of all things and the one with the most profound wisdom and the ability to fix all things if only everyone would just listen to her. It's hard to read. A minority attempting to assert power or authority over a majority is just as damaging as the power dynamic they claim to be fighting against. (There is a better way - it is the true way of Jesus.)

The interspersing of more personal trauma she has experienced leads the reader to believe this is a woman with a heavy emotional bag that she is carrying, which only further colors the experience we're supposed to start identifying with from the very beginning - where she is late, doesn't like being chastised for being late, and trusts us to believe that "other things happened, too." The ethnic/racial/childhood/belonging trauma just complicates things.

I have been "othered" by my church. I know the experience well. I have had knock-down, drowning-in-tears, storming-out-of-the-room, hot-and-angry exchanges with church leadership in my life over different perspectives on the truth. I have been told I am "hurting the Kingdom" by speaking the truth. But I just can't relate to this author's presentation of her own story. I can't connect to the concepts she's trying to present. It's too muddied and too muddled. And...I'm not sure the suggestions are the real way of Jesus, although there are some good Jesus stories in there.

The author isn't healed from the traumas she's perceived in her own story. We sense that throughout the book as she continues to be vague and defensive and tries to get the reader on her side without a lot of details. We sense that in the hatred and the hurt and the venom that is spewed toward church leadership and anyone who might be in any sort of majority anywhere by any sense of the word. And our sense is confirmed in the final chapter when she confesses that "despite" several invitations to re-enter into church community in a number of good places, she's decided not to. She's wrapped her identity into being the wounded, and to maintain that, she has to stay on the outside forever.

It's a shame. I think if she could ever speak from a place of true healing, she would have some wonderful and valuable things to say about Jesus. But they would have to be words FOR Jesus and not AGAINST hurt. That's the distinction I guess I was hoping for in this book and didn't find.

Othered is an honest and vulnerable depiction of the short- and long-term effects of wounds inflicted by the Church. In Othered, Auman beautifully weaves together her own experience of betrayal and move toward healing with biblical truths that not only stir the soul, but provide insight into the ways we, as followers of Jesus, have failed to recognize the image of God in each other. What a gift Auman has given us by trusting and blessing us with her story!

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the e-ARC. This is a beautifully and poetically written book exploring church hurt and healing. Highly recomend.

I still remember the initial days after reading Beth Allison Barr's "The Making of Biblical Womanhood," one of my favorite books in recent years and a transformative yet challenging book that I knew would also meet with resistance. Having had a few social media encounters with Barr, I'll confess to having become concerned about that response and wanting to do what I could to support her as a human being and as a writer.

I found myself feeling somewhat similarly as I wound down my time with Jenai Auman's "Othered: Finding Belonging with the God Who Pursues the Hurt, Harmed, and Marginalized," a profoundly engaging yet vulnerable work in which Auman recounts with truth and grace her experiences of othering as a Filipina woman and staff member at a church where she once found safety and mentoring before experiencing the abuse of power and authority while in her staff position.

In "Othered," Auman writes from a foundation of Jesus loving the outcasts and, in fact, recruiting a lowly group as disciples. Jesus healed the unclean, dined with sinners, and created belonging for those who often had never belonged before.

Yet, quite often, the Church does the exact opposite.

Auman's vulnerability radiates throughout "Othered." It's a vulnerability that is at first jarring, a willingness to lay out both her wounds and her healing in equal abundance. "Othered" is both theologically deep and deeply personal, a compelling blending together of biblical historicity and personal applicability. Auman explores the historic othering of God's people and Jesus himself, always leadingus back to God's hesed, his "lovingkindness," and the fact that it never wavers.

Made in the image of God, Auman trusts that God's offer of belonging is unrelenting and safe. Auman boldly invites us to name the abuses that harm us and joins us in the invitation. As someone who has been kicked out of two churches early in my adulthood, it's likely unsurprising that I resonated deeply with "Othered" and openly wept at times from remembering and the places that remain fragile within me.

And yet, I also found myself grieving the othering that occurs from being an adult person of faith with a disability, a person often left behind or placed in a corner where I am often expected to stay. "Othered" reminds me that God doesn't place us in corners or leave us behind or limit us in we exist within faith communities and within ministry.

"Othered" is a beautiful, honest calling of sorts to those who live on the margins of contemporary Western Christianity. It's a call into belonging and a hope-filled honoring of our journeys out of abusive situations and into the arms of a God who pursues the hurt, harmed, and marginalized even when it seems as if no one else does.

For those who have been othered, "Othered" is a sacred balm and gentle breeze in the wilderness. More peaceful companion than prescriptive tutorial "Othered" is an invitation back into community for those who've experienced spiritual harm.