This is how you Remember it - Catherine Prasifka

For a book to get me out of a reading slump it has to be really captivating and Catherine Prasifka managed to captivate me and then some.

A really relateable read I grew up in the days of the beginning of the internet, I can still hear the dial tone, I can remember the chat room days (A/S/L) We had our computer installed in our sitting room so my mam and dad could keep an eye on what we were doing.. little did they know I spent my day talking to strangers 🙃

Throughout the novel we see the protagonist grow up through the ages of technology and really shows the grasp that social media has on peoples lives. All the keeping up with the Joneses rameis, who liked and didn't like your post etc.

Anyway point of this post is just go out and buy this book, it deserves every bit of credit that it has been given.

Thank you @netgalley @prasifcat and @canongatebooks for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is how you remember it is out tomorrow 2nd of May go buy it 📖

This Is How You Remember is a brilliant try at a novel about growing up online and navigating public as well as private spaces while growing up as the first generation to have the ability to do so. This coming-of-age story is told in the second-person pov, from when a girl's family purchases a computer when she is nine years old, and she (also as the reader) rapidly realises how wonderful it is to be able to find anything on it, from exploring virtual pet sites to entering chat rooms and conversing with people who become friends. Quickly, as the use of the internet and social media becomes more frequent, the attempts to fit in the offline world get confused with the ones online, especially as the lines get blurred.
As someone who grew up throughout the rapid growth of the internet, this book spoke to me deeply, especially because of the close 2nd-person pov and the shocking but real events described in the book.
So far, so good, but here is where it fell flat for me. In the execusion.
The writing is very simple and straight-forward, but the rapid timelines can make a person confused about where they are in the story.
What also fell short for me was that the takeaway appeared to be a little shallow in comparison to what could've been a vast exploration of online space, boiled down to more or less 'put down the phone and live in the moment' as a moral. It was pleasing to see the protagonist mature, gain confidence, and move away from the addiction of social media, as one might anticipate from a coming-of-age story, but it lacked the necessary weight and clarity for me because of how fast-paced the story line was. I wish there was more dedication to the development of both the story and characters, but seeing as everything is fast on the internet, I will blame it on being a calculated move.

Thank you to NetGalley and Canongate for the ARC!

Such a clever use of the 2nd person POV to show the harmful effects of growing up in the age of the internet. It was a little confusing at times as the time jumps are never specified so you have to rely on context clues to figure out what age the narrator is in each chapter and I didn’t really understand the parts about the ‘hole’ in her stomach. But all in all, an enjoyable read.

Loved the concept of this book and the way it focused on lives through the lens of the rapid digital evolution of the 2000s. I was drawn in by my shared experiences and the narrative of how it shapes your later years - truly compelling.

This is How You Remember It is an intriguing novel that is almost uncanny as a younger millennial who like the protagonist came of age with the rise of Web 2.0 and subsequently like the main character shared elements the protagonist in regards to experiences with the early internet (albeit not the revenge porn aspect though I certainly know of people who have indeed had the same experience as the protagonist) in many ways this novel finally offers a means for the current and future generations to be able to discuss the influence of the internet, choices in regards to using it, what power and control you have over it and what consent means. I think it ultimately sums up how I feel about the internet myself the whole love/hate relationship between new friends, accessible information and then the seedy undertones of finding disturbing adult material (like the narrator of the book - I encountered adult content far too early thanks to a early kids website getting hacked and subsequently displaying inappropriate imagery) - and from talking to my mum's friends kids who are so much younger (baby Gen Z) that that aspect of the internet really has not changed, the claims of safety are just that a mask, of security that at any moment can change with one bad actor. And really as much as it's gifted freedom and the ability to expand one's world ultimately we are chained to a prison of algorithmic feeds.

Thank you Netgalley and Canongate for the ARC, I really enjoyed this novel and inevitably will be out to buy a copy when it's out to re-read again!

The second-person narrative is often neglected by writers of fiction, and rightly so, as it requires a delicate balancing act to ensure the protagonist is neither too bland nor too fantastical. Readers might be used to this perspective in adventure stories, but not in literary fiction, so it is initially off-putting in This Is How You Remember It by Catherine Prasifka, published by Canongate Books on 2 May 2024.

Stick with it though, as despite this, Prasifka deftly manages to use this narrative style to her advantage in a novel about a girl growing up in an Ireland set against the backdrop of the birth of the internet. This novel deals with big issues; the roles of women and men in modern Ireland, female identity and the pressures, risks and constraints of social media and the internet.

Readers (the ubiquitous 'you' who is not named) are propelled through her thoughts, feelings and experiences at the speed of an internet connection. We experience her girlhood and early adulthood up close and personal without filters (unlike her social media feeds) - we get to be inside her head.

There is an ominous tone to the sheer rush of the narrative and it is captivating. I read this in an evening and for the first seventy per cent of the book thought it was a five-star read. What lets it down, but not markedly so, is the final section which relaxes somewhat and veers into romance land. I do feel that Prasifka took risks with this novel, but could have been that little bit more courageous towards the end. Who knows what courage and bravery 'you' could have shown.

Thank you Netgalley and Canongate Books for my review copy.
#Netgalley #Canongate #ThisIsHowYouRememberIt

This was an incredible piece about growing up in the early 2000's and how the unrestricted internet access that a lot of us had (as the generation whose parents had no idea) really fucked with our concepts of self, sex, body image, relationships and consent at a very young age.

I tend to really love books written in second person and this was no exception, and I think in this context it works so well, narrating experiences that so many of us went through in a way that is so violent and uncomfortable at times. The use of various (unnamed) internet sites was a great way to track the passage of time as well as bond us to the main character. The subtextual relationships to and between secondary characters was also really interesting and felt very true to how a teenager would experience these things.

My only wish is that the romance had been either less of a focus at the end, or done with just a bit less misscommunication, as the main character literally sprinting away from conversations was frustrating.

Overall I really enjoyed this and it's also helped me come to terms with some of my experiences as a child and young teen on the internet as well as early experiences with sex and relationships. An excellent book.

If you’re a fellow nineties baby, then this book is one hell of a gut punch. Here we’re viewing one girls childhood, and subsequent teenage years, as she grows up alongside the rise of the internet. We see how deeply this new world intertwines with hers, how quickly it becomes all encompassing, and it’s so painfully relatable.

This book almost feels like a time capsule - the early chapters in particular, as her family sets up their first home computer. It’s almost wistfully nostalgic, especially looking back on this time now knowing what the future looks like in terms of our reliance on the internet.

We time skip every chapter, and we see how our unnamed narrator is suddenly spending a considerable amount of her youth online. We see how quickly that goes from looking at photos of kittens, and those early gaming social media platforms that were aimed at children, to something darker, stumbling onto websites she shouldn’t, and how utterly clueless her parents are. Parents nowadays have mostly also grown up with the internet, and are a little more clued in due to that, but when it first hit the scene children tended to take to it like a duck to water, leaving their parents in the dust, painfully oblivious to what they were doing, even as they were sat in communal areas on the household desktop. This book captures that so incredibly well, and how so many of us were probably exposed to things we really shouldn’t have been, at such a young age, and the damage that can cause.

My personal experience deviates from the story a little as it continues on into the secondary school years, as I didn’t have a traditional schooling experience, but there’s no doubt in my mind that people will find the experiences the narrator goes through painfully relatable in a lot of ways. It’s heartbreaking, frankly.

My one issue with the book is the ongoing metaphor about a ‘hole’ in our narrators belly which…I understood, but I wish hasn’t been there. It never really worked for me, and sometimes I felt like it detracted from the overall narrative, which I otherwise found highly compelling and evocative.

As a girl who grew up online, it brought back many memories of the 2000’s- mid-2010s. I found it to be the first book (that I’ve read) that has really captured what that time was like. I think this book will resonate with a lot of people in that way. Growing up is awkward, raw, and painful, at the best of times, let alone growing up while being the first online generation, and I think that it’s been brilliantly captured here.

Thank you to the publishers, and Netgalley, for the copy to review.

The first half of this book makes for an incredible read & I won’t be the only one that the story will resonate with, in fact, I think any woman who has grown up around the internet will understand/relate to the anxieties and experiences described. At times, it made for an uncomfortable read only because I could connect so much with the anxiety of the protagonist, especially when it described the struggle of navigating friendships both online and offline as it brought back flashbacks of showing up at school to find out friends had fallen out with you because something you posted/said/liked on early social media sites & the worry if there was a falling out online how you would fix it in person

The second half, however, I felt merged into more of a coming-of-age, One Day-esque romance. It was still interesting to see how the early online experiences shaped/impacted the protagonist as she got older, but I struggled to connect with this part as much and I didn’t feel it had the impact the beginning had

Thank you NetGalley, the publisher and the author for a copy of this ARC!

An unfortunate DNF for me as I really couldn’t get through the first person pov, couldn’t connect to the story at all. I did like the concept however.

Written in the second person, this book feels really confronting and new. Once I’d settle into the groove of the writing style, I was gripped. Some of the themes in this book hit very close to home, examining what it means to grow up as a girl in the age of the internet. Genuinely upsetting for me in places, but overall a positive message of reclaiming our self identity.

beware second person pov! daring choice that takes some getting used to, but it does have a very in your face effect, which i learned to appreciate.

not sure how i feel about the story itself so this isn’t a full 3 stars i think. we basically get glimpses of this girl’s life as she grows up in the 2000s, but she’s mostly just being annoying as fuck until the last chapter. like wow you kinda like your male childhood best friend and he might kinda like you back that must be sooooo hard for you (??). i did not understand what drove her at all. the author’s debut had a similar main character (insecure, toxic relationships with just about everyone in her life, a magic realist thing happens to her as a wake up call), only this time i found her unrelatable all over the line. she’s chronically online during the facebook era, which i barely experienced myself so that’s a big part of it. she does all sorts of other stupid shit idk.

the feminist aspect was interesting though, but it always fell kinda flat because there was no actual discourse, it was just the mc and her older self stating things rather than her going in conversation with the other women in her life. i’m going to compare this with “none of this is serious” again because that had way more discussions about feminism and other topics.

anyway there’s some stuff about growing up and everything changing that i did enjoy which is why i don’t feel like rating it as 2 stars. special thanks to netgalley etc for the arc.

“You’d always loved when people saw you for the way you wanted them to, which was so at odds with how you were feeling inside.”

I really enjoyed 'This is How You Remember It.' It's a subtly anxious exploration of how the internet has molded a young woman's identity. As someone who navigated the treacherous waters of high school, I found the portrayal of masking our true selves and grappling with self-hate incredibly relatable. This novel beautifully captures the universal struggle for confidence amidst the chaos of adolescence. Highly recommended for anyone who has ever felt like they were living a double life.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This was one of the easiest 5 stars I've ever given.

I have never read book that so accurately depicts what it is like growing up in the modern digital age. Almost every chapter and every scenario sparked a memory of my own childhood/adolescence. Things that I have never read in another novel.

This book has an unnamed narrator, and is told from the second person. I was thrown off by this at first, but eventually got used to it.

The first 75% of this book is very much about the narrators experience growing up with the internet, social media and screens in general. The narrator talks a lot about how these things shape who she is, her identity and the way she views/interacts with other people. A lot of the conversations are heavily linked to dramaturgical sociology and the ways in which we "perform" to those around us.

The last 25% I would compare to Sally Rooney's "Normal People", it goes more in depth about how those past experience have moulded her into the person she is at that stage and her processing the traumas that come with it, especially in romantic relationships.

Overall, this is an incredible and accurate look at what it is like to grow up in the modern digital age, and I thank the author for giving a voice to this generation.

The book is cleverly written in the second-person singular present tense ie. You feel.. which makes the subject seem disassociated from her actions and feelings. This helps to enhance the depersonalisation disorder which the character develops as she becomes more deeply attached to her phone and living her life through social media and online chat.
The subject of the story progresses from eight to twenties, during which time she and the reader access all the horrors of childhood exposed to the unadulterated internet: paedophiles posing as pretend girlfriends on virtual pet sites; exposure to porn and the objectification of women, body dysmorphia, ghosting by friends and the retribution of jilted boyfriends posting personal pictures, sexting and the general filtered living through other peoples posts.
It’s an upsetting and disturbing read that highlights that not enough is being done by either parents, content providers or government to prevent young people’s mental and physical health being affected by material their minds are not capable of addressing. It was recently revealed that over half of child sexual abuse cases are child-on-child - 25% sending each other indecent images.
After reading this all parents will want to think about the restrictions and safety they can apply and be more aware of the importance of being there for their children.

It’s rare I get to read a book in one sitting, but a recent long-ish overnight flight with two small children asleep on me provided the perfect opportunity. Irish writer Catherine Prasifka’s second novel proved to be an absorbing, compelling read perfect for the occasion.

Prasifka’s first novel None of this is Serious (which I didn’t love) was a novel about being too online with a sci-fi element (a hole in the sky). This novel is also very much about a life led online but it’s a coming of age novel, written from the perspective of a young woman, entirely in the second person present tense.

Second person narratives don’t always work but Prasifka carries it off here with aplomb. It lends a chilling quality to the story and an urgency to the writing.

This is a cautionary tale really, about a generation allowed unfettered access to the internet by their well-meaning if naive parents who had no clue what was on there. I mean, we still allow children a lot of access today but we know more now than they did in the early 00s and we have better (if still inadequate) safeguards.

There a palpable sense of anxiety throughout the book, and a sadness for innocence lost too early, with seminal childhood experiences and teenage rites of passage (Irish college, first kiss, first sexual experience) compromised by the ever-present threat of it being posted online, not to mention the expectations of teenage boys raised on a diet of pornography.

I haven’t stopped thinking about this one since I finished it. An excellent read that deserves to be a big seller and will provoke further conversation around the need by all of us, young and old, to disconnect a lot more. 4.5-5/5⭐️

*This is How You Remember It will be published on 2 May. Many thanks to the author, publisher @canongatebooks and @netgalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, what a brilliant book! I feel like this will resonate with you, especially if you are a Millennial/elder Gen-Z.

The main theme of this book is how unmonitored internet access shapes you as you grow up, especially when it comes to your body image and sense of self. It starts off as very innocent, with computer games that I’m pretty sure was Neopets (the nostalgia!) but was never officially named, and morphs into something more sinister. It completely changes how our unnamed main character perceives the world. You watch, and go through it, with her as she learns human experiences like shame, grief and emotional (or lack of) connection. Even things like the politics of the Internet and how disconnected that is compared to the offline world.

The writing choices were all so good. Choosing the main character to be unnamed and using second person adding a personal touch to it, like they were your thoughts and your experiences. In many ways, they were. As well as that, we didn’t know the passage of time through anything else other than through the evolution of social media and technology. Other than context clues, it was rarely obvious how old the characters were supposed to be or what year we were in. I loved that choice.

Finally, the little love story that felt like the backbone of the book was lovely to follow. Their relationship remained distant and somewhat shallow until the main character changed her relationship with social media. Once she saw it more as an addition to her life instead of something that *is* her life. only then did her relationship become something different.

An absolutely fantastic book!!

Another great book from this author! This is such a nostalgic read for anyone who grew up with the Internet and social media as a vehicle for gossip, social interaction and experimentation etc.

I enjoyed watching the character grow and experience the good and bad of life (there's hardly a topic untouched in this book). I did feel the end of the book a bit flat and unresolved, but that is bound to happen in a book like this that deals with a certain amount of time in a life; there's clearly a before and after with this book in the 'middle'. I also didn't think that the magical realism element added much to the story, though I can appreciate it as a metaphor.

Thanks: Read from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

i am blown away by this novel. the writing was so raw and sharp. so much subtext and anxiety laden into each paragraph. my own experiences were seemingly violently reflected with the honest exposition and my own thoughts horribly mirrored that of the main character. the use of the second person was cleverly done and added to the uncomfortable reading experience, which was the intention of the author.

i liked how the book tackled how the early access to internet can change a person's perception of their own self and identity. as a psychology student, i've had my fair share of research into this topic and thought this novel depicted its long term impacts and effects very explicitly. from internet personas to performance to desensitization to privacy and consent to distorted self-perceptions, the book covered most of it. the growing use of social media can play a huge role in how we see ourselves if we let ourselves be so consumed by it. in addition to this, there were also themes on sexuality, loss, innocence, shame, guilt, and grief that i felt were incorporated very well into the narrative. our sense of self and identity as well as our relationships with the people and world around us can be affected greatly by social media— how it can mediate our relationships and how our identity can be a performance online that makes the act of living itself unreal. i especially liked how taking and posting pictures can remove you from the present because you think of experiencing the moment through the lens of the past or the future (there's an exact quote from the book). i can talk all about these implications with social psychology all day so i won't go too much into this, though i must emphasize that i really liked how the author wrote this; the writing style was also such a good fit to this. i also liked how the passage of time was indicated only by the progression of social media and what was deemed trendy, what technology or social media was new, and the various attitudes towards them. i liked that we do not know how old "you" exactly are because it lends to the atmosphere of being so absorbed to social media, where access is not heavily regulated by age and they can sometimes be muddled and even disregarded in some websites. i especially liked how we move through the real world and deduce what happened to the other characters like Lorcan, his parents, the main character's parents, the grandmother, and Evan. it's so rewarding to have something come out of what was implicitly said and especially made for a great reading experience. finally, i adored the recurring subjects in her life: the beach and Lorcan. it grounds the novel and gives it a narrative arc to center the character's journey and growth. i loved that the beach and Lorcan were constant over time and that in all the lives she's lived and all the versions of herself they've witnessed, they've remained continuous. her relationship with Lorcan, as much as i do not like comparing novels to each other, feels a lot like what Normal People by Sally Rooney had, too, which i deeply enjoyed.

altogether a brilliant and striking novel. i think it is very relevant that not only serves as a cautionary tale but can also present as a point of reflection for many others. i felt so intense and involved in this, heightened only by the second person narration, and it made me look inwards and consider my relationship with social media and how it has shaped me as a person and human being. so, a very well deserved and spectacular 4-star rating!

This is a brilliant and biting take on the dangers of our online world, particularly for children. It was terrifying - not just because of how well it was written, but because of the truth it conveys about what we are doing as a society!