2.75
despite it having the cover and title of the year, I was not in love with "Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You."
This is a nonfiction book about romance fraud. Except, it's less nonfiction and more the vibe of your friend summarizing a John Oliver video for you over brunch.
I thought the conversational, funny style of Becky Holmes' writing was incredibly accessible (and is probably true to the Twitter comedy that apparently rose her to prominence). But this stayed incredibly surface level and fluffy, and it just wasn't what I was looking for. I don't think anyone with even a passing knowledge of this subject will learn anything new from this book. Some of the most interesting parts of this book literally(!!!) begin with "I read this interesting article that said..." and end with "Someone smart should do more research on that!"
I also thought the tone of this was just a little off. A substantial part of the book is dedicating to reprinting some of Becky's viral Twitter interactions, in which she trolls romance scammers. She calls out their questionable grammar, spelling, and odd questions. There is truly an entire chapter solely dedicated to her cleverness.
This call-out section, while mildly funny, seems to be really at odds with the rest of the book, which purports to have sympathy for the real-life victims and stories of those who are victims of romance fraud.
I don't know. If I was one of Becky's interviewees, I would feel weird about my real experience with romance fraud being showcased right after Becky spends fifty pages laughing about how stupid and obvious these scammers are.
If you're already a fan of Becky's online premise and humor, I would imagine you'd like this book. But if you're just drawn in by the cover, or looking for a deep dive into this topic, I don't think this is where you should turn.

I wasn’t familiar with the author before I read the book, but I thought the concept was really interesting. There’s definitely been a lot of noise around romance scamming recently and I was intrigued to find out more.

On the plus side, I enjoyed the witty exchanges with the fraudsters. They did become a little predictable after a while - and I don’t think we needed quite so many examples of ‘look how clever I am’. Maybe 1 or 2 per chapter would have been better.

The case studies of people who had been scammed were sympathetically written, and also quietly devastating. I felt so incredibly sorry for the victims.

Something that I thought the book was missing was a more detailed account from a scammer. We get the odd detail about where they’re coming from (which always seemed to be Nigeria) but I think I would have liked to know more about them and why they do it.

I also thought the advice section at the end was a bit limited. It does seem she’s writing off Action Fraud as a port of call, yet also admitting that they’ve made some changes recently to become more effective. We really needed more on this.

All in all, an informative and entertaining read.

'Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You' will make you laugh, it will make you sad, and it will make you angry. It is testament to the considerable skill of its author, Becky Holmes, that it can do all of these things and stand out as a valuable, worthwhile commentary and insight into the world of online romance fraud and the people whose lives it devastates.

Becky Holmes joined Twitter - as it was known - in 2020 and soon started to get attention for her humorous approaches to dealing with fake accounts trying to scam her. They are genuinely laugh out loud funny. However, her interest in these individuals and the people they target was piqued and this book shares her thought-provoking research, as well as some fascinating interviews with both those who lost money and those behind the accounts.

From the title and cover, I was expecting a largely humorous take, but 'Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You' is an engaging read that strikes the right balance between the humour and the author's wealth of research. The writing is down to earth yet respectful where needed, and sidesteps any jargon. Well worth a read.

With thanks to the publishers and to NetGalley for the advance copy on which this review is based.

This was an absolute hoot to read AND it was incredibly informative on romance scams and the effects both emotionally and financially that they can have on the people who sadly get entangled in them.

The first bit of the book I could not stop laughing at her inclusion of her conversations with these romancers. The celebrity ones were particularly hilarious. Some of the replies and conversation topics made me laugh out loud.

I love books that are both entertaining and informative and this was both. Becky was completely honest about her experiences and her empathy towards the people affected by scammers felt very genuine. One story in particular was gut wrenching. It would be good reading for anyone on social media as a guide to stay as safe as you can. The information she provides is brilliant and I noticed resemblances to messages I myself have gotten on my social media and have some good insight now into how to tackle the scammers and stay safe.

I can’t recommend this book enough! It should be standard reading for everyone! I loved the authors writing style and wit and her honesty and empathy. Would love to read more from her.

Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I love reading about scams!! This book was a great deep dive into online romance scams and the unfortunate victims of them. well-researched but well-written as well.

Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You by Becky Holmes is a non-fictional account of the author's dealings with online romance fraud.

We've all had them - silver-haired lotharios in our DMs calling us "honey", asking us how we are (I had one a few weeks ago claiming to be Pedro Pascal's agent). But what about the women who fall for them?

During lockdown especially, people depended on the internet for social interaction. Romance fraud flourished - and people were seriously hurt as a result.

As well as light-hearted accounts of some of her own exchanges with these fellas, the author also includes some really devastating accounts from people who upturned their whole lives for a shot at happiness. Some lost huge amounts of money, dignity, and fell out with family members as a result of being scammed online. Their good nature was taken advantage of, and many will never trust a soul again. It's really, really sad.

This book, I think, will help people a lot. It'll help people who aren't very internet savvy to recognise a scam, and may even remind the rest of us to keep on our toes - dear friends, I have been online since the year dot and just before Christmas, I paid €65 for a product that doesn't exist. I was up with an illness flare at 3am, I saw an ad, I thought "oh wow!", I paid the money, I got a generic e-mail with a Hong Kong address at the end of it and my heart sank. To this day I have exchanged 46 emails with whoever is running the site and I know I'll never see that money again - but it just goes to show, if you hit someone vulnerable at just the right time (as people are trained to do), you can reel one in. I'll never live it down, but there we go. As the author says,

"I believe that we all underestimate our susceptibility to fraud."

She talks about the people behind some of the scams (eye-opening and shocking in equal measures) and speaks about the similarities between their techniques and coercive control.

Since I read this book, I've replied to every new spammy DM with a pic of the EFCC logo, the organisation in Nigeria who catch them. Works WONDERS.

Thank you to Unbound for the eARC.
#keanureevesisnotinlovewithyou

Becky Holmes investigates romance fraud with humour and understanding, showing the hearbreaking consequences of vulnerable people being taken in by plausible fraudsters. I hope we can be armed with this knowledge and better able to identify fraudulent accounts and not be duped and manipulated by online criminals. It's also a really funny read - I would recommend.

Becky Holmes, the cardiganed crusader, invites us all on her quest to get to bottom of the most internet barrel where the romance scammers live and work, impersonating celebrities to extort money and time out of people looking for love or just feeling a little alone.

Thankfully I’ve never fallen prey to a romance scam or a catfish, but damn if I don’t see them everywhere - admittedly I do love to wind them up sometimes which is something I share with Becky. She addresses the seriousness and heartbreak of fraud and catfishing but also has a little mischief along the way as she tries to rile the scammers and get to bottom of their techniques, and their reasons. From the terribly obvious to the terrifying realistic, we see a whole range of scams and frauds from celebrity impersonators , guilt tactics, real life fraudsters and just bad ones that really, really make me happy I’ve never tried finding love online.

Her narration was utterly fabulous - it felt so much like a conversation and was brimming with personality but even amongst all the thoughts and little asides it always stayed on track and felt so easy to follow. She spoke openly, candidly and in such a refreshingly normal way that didn’t try and be artful - it just let itself be amazing on its own merit. It starts as a series of anecdotes then jumps into the in depth research about organised crime and scam culture. From accounts of her own strange experiences to the stories of victims of romance fraud, each one shows a different side to the world of scams that keeps growing by the day.

Just remember, although Keanu Reeves loves everyone, he’s probably not in love with you.

This book was an incredibly interesting read. I always love when I'm reading something by a person who has clearly invested some time into their research yet they live a totally "normal" life. It's really heartbreaking and eye-opening to see how many people have become victim to a similar fate. It was nice that the author put their own humor into the book as well despite the topic, at the baseline, being quite sad and disturbing. It is ultimately really heartbreaking to hear of the maniupulation that so many people have gone through to benefit these scammers but I really appreciated Holmes presentation of the information., It made it a really enjoyable read. 3.5 stars

This is a lightly comic exploration of romance fraud, which - via the magic of the internet - it appears can be made a subject of humour. Author Becky Holmes is quite strict in not making the subjects of the fraud, a number of case studies which are delivered here, the subject of humour. She is extremely sympathetic and in a layman's way quite insightful as to how romance fraud manages to ensnare people, and some of the psychological hooks that make it work. She has experienced coercive control and mental health issues that came out of that so she is acutely aware how the brain operates when it is more vulnerable (there is a lot of talk about terminology, and vulnerable is a word she uses with huge caveats). That doesn't mean there isn't occasionally tonal whiplash between when she is trying to be funny stringing along an online scammer pretending to be Liam Neeson, and a heartbreaking story of a woman taken for £100,000 by a fake pilot. But its a clear-eyed and detailed exploration of the issue.

The problem with the subject is that from a coldly dispassionate point of view, some of the scammers are ridiculous. In excerpts of conversations she has, its clear that their English is bad, their reading comprehension is to naught and it initially looks like surely no-one would be taken in. This is a slight flaw here, obviously, she excerpts some of the funniest conversations where her potential beau seems to ignore her claims of murder and increasingly unhinged photos (it has to be said her humour in these conversations is very one note, it usually involves her having killed someone or going off to kill someone and looking for understanding and help online with someone who stays onboard because they are after the cash). Nevertheless the case studies is the real evidence here, and they are presented in their full objective detail, plus interviews with other experts who can pick up some of the psychological rationales around the psychology of fraud. She even gets to the other side at one point, talking to someone who is a Yahoo Boy in Nigeria, and getting hold of the scripts.

My biggest issue with Keanue Reeves Is Not In Love With You was her own lack of confidence about her own competence. She said she doesn't do stats, which is a pity because even the simplest of breakdowns shows that it is basically a numbers game, thousands of people on dating sites, plus thousands of scammers, something is likely to hit when the intersection of cover story and person who needs a conversation happens. She has clearly become an expert over the last three years in this subject and is well-placed to draw between journalism, psychology, criminology and economics. Her criticisms at the end of the various groups that exist to help are clear, and her sympathy for the subjects is too. The humour and title will probably get it read more, but its the central dive into romance fraud that makes this useful. That and seeing when even her fake Liam Neeson suddenly felt he should call the police on this weird British murderer.

A real mixed bag. At times simply hilarious then really sad. Overall a very informative book.
Although not my usual thing it was interesting and sadly a sign of the times we live in.
Many thanks to netgalley and the publisher for my copy..

I think I need to structure this review as a pro/con list as there were parts of this book I really enjoyed as well as parts that didn’t work for me.

First, the good:
-The author’s voice. I had zero familiarity with the author or her Twitter/X account going into this, but I appreciated her sense of humor and felt she did a good job at balancing the gravity of the subject matter with genuinely funny social commentary and self-deprecation.
-The empathy shown to victims of fraud and the gentleness with which the author tells those victims’ stories. I thought this was very well done and really liked that the author included a number of specific stories to help humanize these victims.
-The screenshots! It was fascinating to actually see transcripts of the author’s conversations and very satisfying to see her scam the scammers.

The parts I struggled with:
-I wish there would have been a bit more depth or time devoted to analyzing the perpetrators of cyber crime and their motivations. While the author is empathetic towards victims of trafficking forced to commit romance fraud, she sort of lumps all “willing” perpetrators into a malevolent monolith and is a little dismissive of the socioeconomic and cultural drivers that make fraud appealing to people in impoverished countries (and the role Western colonization in Ghana and Nigeria has likely played in motivating scammers in those countries). I get that the focus of this book was primarily on the victims but at times the characterization of perpetrators as “ghastly shitbags” didn’t feel like a nuanced enough take for what might drive someone down this path.
-The running commentary and jokes about the author’s weight. It surprised me that this was included in a book to be published in 2024, and it felt jarring and unnecessary.

Overall, I do think this is worth a read for anyone interested in learning more about romance fraud. It was interesting and educational.

Thank you to NetGalley and Unbound for the advance copy.

I follow this author on Twitter (X) and love reading her quests to weed out all the online romance scammers. The book begins with transcripts of some of her chats with these scammers and they are hilariously funny! I have laughed my way through her replies to them, but as the book moves on the author takes it into the more serious realms when she meets and interviews some of the women who have sadly lost money to the scammers. It's all very easy to say you'd never fall for anything like that, but it's apparent that these scammers are clever and know how to feed on your emotions.

The author gives good examples of different types of scams, what you should be looking out for and advice on how to not be taken in by them. It's so sad that the majority of these women have already gone through the stresses of break-ups and bereavements, and then find themselves having to go through the emotional and financial trauma, upset and shame of these scams as well. The author has done her research well and, as well as being funny, the book is full of detail, facts and figures.

It does make you so much more aware of, not just, online romance fraud, but all the other types of fraud and scam there are around, and let's remember it's not just women who are being caught by these scammers. The author has used her own personal experiences, added in a big dose of humour to tackle what is a really serious topic. This was a great read which I'd definitely recommend.

Take a dive into the world of online romance fraud and hear the stories of people who have gone through it.
Featuring scripts used by scammers and first hand accounts of people who have been a victim.
Beckys own experiences with scammers were a particular highlight, especially the screenshot messages. From Prince Harry to Liam Neeson to (obviously) Keanu Reeves, it seems every celeb has slid in her DM's. Except Greg Davies.
I had tears on several occasions throughout this books, some which were tears of laughter and others pure sadness for the people who have lost so much through these scams.
This was a really interesting read that kept me engaged throughout.

"Keanu Reeves Is Not in Love with You" by Becky Holmes offers an intriguing examination of celebrity culture and the allure of parasocial relationships, but it falls short of leaving a lasting impact. Holmes presents a mix of personal anecdotes and cultural analysis with wit and humor, yet some sections may feel repetitive or lacking in depth. While the book raises thought-provoking questions about our fascination with celebrities, it ultimately doesn't fully deliver on its potential. Readers may find moments of insight, but "Keanu Reeves Is Not in Love with You" may not resonate as deeply as hoped, earning it a moderate rating.

Ok , so, if you follow my reviews you know I’m an audiobook reader, and I don’t do text. I follow Becky on Twitter and find her posts hilarious. So it’d make sense for me to request an arc of her book. But this was a bit of an accident because it’s clearly not audio.

So, I’m just going to be straight and tell you that I’ve not actually read or finished it. As I say. I’m an audio person, but it felt unfair to disregard the arc. I know how much Becky has put into this.
Good luck for publication.

Thank you to NetGalley and unbound for the arc.

I just had to request this ARC, not only for the title, but for the synopsis and author, who I used to follow on her @deathtospinach Twitter account. (She refuses to call it X and I do too, I left that site when the ownership changed but that’s a whole other story…) Anyway, I knew of her catfishy content and knew that she is hilarious, so I knew this would be great. And it was!

Apparently actor Keanu Reeves is the celebrity most used to try to defraud people online. He doesn’t have social media, he’s handsome and by all accounts a really nice guy, so a lot of scammers use him as a way to get money. After getting so many Keanu Reeves sliding into her DMs with broken English about needing gift cards, she started posting them on her Twitter account, and many went viral.

The DMs are all hilarious, but there are serious issues that the author is bringing to light: romance fraud, celebrity fraud and sextortion. The book contains hilarious takes on the issues, mingled with heartbreaking stories from people who have been victims of this kind of fraud. The book also tells you how to spot scammers, how to recognize deep fake videos, how to report fraud and then what you do when your report goes nowhere because the police don’t have the time or resources to get back the money you sent to someone in Nigeria.

This is a must read book for all women (and men are not immune to this either!). We’ve all received the “hello beautiful how is your day” DMs from the guy who has a picture of a soldier or man working on an oil rig. Apparently those occupations are the ones scammers the most use because psychologically, a lot of women like those things. Unfortunately for them, I’m a pacifist who’d have nothing to do with someone who worked for big oil, so my block button gets a lot of action…

Funny, informative, filled with media and interviews, I can’t think of anything I’d change about this book. It’s a topic that needs more awareness, and this should definitely help with that. 4.5 stars, rounded up.

(Thank you to Unbound, Becky Holmes and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review. This book is slated to be published April 2, 2024.)

What a fantastic, funny, educational and thought provoking book! I am not usually a non-fiction reader, but had had this recommended to me and gave it a try. I am so glad I did! Becky Holmes perfectly blends facts about romance fraud, hilarious examples of her interactions with scammers and really sad stories from people who have been lured in by these scammers. It’s rare to read something like this and laugh out loud, then feel like you want to cry. I have recommended this to all of my friends, it has definitely made me more aware of the issues and feel able to talk to friends if I think this is happening to them. Thank you so much for this arc.

Every day I get creepy messages from strangers and "celebrities" on Instagram and friend requests on Facebook and I automatically delete them because I know they are from scammers. And that's what lead this author down the path to write this book ... she was bored and started responding to messages on Twitter and reposting them.

This book is about online romance fraud and covers various topics such as what it is, how to know if you are being scammed, who is doing it, how friends and family may look upon you if have been scammed, what to do about it and more. The author includes stories of women who have been taken in and the strategies of the scammers are very similar (for example, the scammer "works" someplace where they are hard to reach like on an oil rig, they are taking care of family members, they are widowers, etc.). I know I'll never fall for one of these scams and send lots of money but scammers are smart and trained and usually the people who fall for it are in a bad place emotionally and are ripe for the picking.

I found this book interesting and I liked the writing style. Yes, it's a serious topic but the author uses humour and honesty. It's obvious she has done a lot of research and she includes screenshots of conversations she's had where she is leading the scammers on and they usually don't even realize she is writing gibberish to them. As a head's up, there is swearing.

This was a entertaining and educational book on online scammers. Not just your typical Catfish /Manti Teo scammers, but the kind of scammers who ask for money. As someone who has never encountered something like this, other than your occasional random email from a traveling relative who is stuck in a foreign country with no money, it is hard to understand how it can happen. This book details it all. Stories from both sides. Scammer and victim. It is hard to read about people taking advantage of other peoples niceness in order to make money. What is this world coming to. I guess we just cant be nice anymore.

My favorite part of the book was the snippets of conversation between the author and "Keanu Reeves" and other celebrities. Her responses are so crazy! And her pictures! Ha!

This book was easy to read and interesting and informative.

Thank you to Net Galley and Unbound for an advance copy of this book.