I can honestly say I've never felt as seen as I did whilst reading this book. I fear I don't have the words to express just how brilliant I think this book is.

At first I thought, oh, we've got an unreliable narrator who is possibly a psychopath. But this quickly changed to, oh, this narrator is deeply traumatised and insecure and complex and so so interesting.

Iris portrays the complexity of the mind in ways I've never read before. Her need to be validated by others is pathological. Her masking to be accepted is deeply affecting.

Her inability to accept being loved for who she is hit a chord deep in my soul.

Towards the end of the book, when Iris has her a-ha moment, I firstly thought, oh no, this isn't how her story would end. But then the author showed the depth behind George, and their relationship made sense.

This is a dark voyage into the psyche of a complicated and flawed woman. The portrayal of total overwhelm and hopelessness was more real than anything I've ever read before. And despite the unrelenting despair that runs throughout this amazing book, the author leaves us with a glimmer of hope.

When we meet Iris, she seems like a self-assured young woman who approaches work, sex and life in general with an amused - if somewhat detached - flippancy. But when a promotion at work leaves her feeling hollow, Iris is thrown into a spiral of depression, questioning everything she had convinced herself mattered.

I'll admit that Everyone I Know is Dying was a triggering read for me, but that is because it is such an honest, unapologetic exploration of what it is like to battle with depression and to get to the point where you cannot pretend to be fine anymore.

Iris is a hugely flawed character: she is selfish and often spiteful; she pushes away those who love her and want to help her. But she is also a realistic portrayal of a person battling poor mental health. At one point she muses about whether people are 'just fuss-free, feel-good, pre-prepared, bite-sized pieces of our real selves', concluding that she is 'unable to pretend to be a palatable person anymore.'

So much of Iris' struggle will resonate with readers who have gone through their own battles, from feelings of detachment to disorded eating and navigating the non-linear, unpredictable nature of depression. A true highlight for me was Iris' relationship with her flatmate, George, their dynamic both a reflection of, and a response to, Iris' changing state of mind. Iris draws tremendous comfort and stability from George, yet he also evokes intense feelings of guilt and inadequacy in her. Together and as individuals, they are believable, sympathetic and human.

Another theme of the novel is the impact of impossible societal expectations on women: to be sexy but maternal; to devote yourself entirely to both a career and a family; to be beautiful and groomed but without looking like you have put effort into your appearance or as if you think you look good. I was impressed with the way author Emily Slapper wove the unique pain of dealing with depression into the broader cultural and social context in which Iris exists. It is clear that Iris has cultivated perfection in an effort to feel in control of how other people perceive and respond to her. When she realises that everything she does is a performance, she struggles to keep playing the part.

Everyone I Love is Dying is a book for sufferers of depression and those who support them to feel seen, heard and validated, but it also one which will resonate with many readers who have experienced feelings of disconnection or disaffection even fleetingly- who have asked themselves when their real life will begin.

Thank you to NetGalley and HQ for the opportunity to read and review an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This is a dark, humorous exploration of mental health and the complexities of modern life. The story follows Iris, a young woman grappling with a myriad of mental health issues, as she navigates her chaotic existence.

Slapper's writing is both sharp and poignant, capturing the raw, unfiltered thoughts of a troubled mind. The novel delves into themes of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt with unflinching honesty, offering a refreshing perspective on these often taboo topics. I would put it in the same group as 'Cleopatra & Frankenstein,' 'Alone with you in the Ether' and 'Sorrow and Bliss.' I do love a sad book. While the narrative may not always be easy to read, it is undeniably powerful. Slapper's ability to blend humour with heartbreak created a unique and engaging reading experience for me.

Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for my review copy, all opinions are my own.

Wow. Just wow.

This book was mentally and emotionally heavy to read yet enjoyable.

Iris can be a difficult character to like but then you take a moment to assess and realise that she is not in her right mind and is struggling mentally. It is easy to relate to a woman in her early 20's who is questioning everything about her life and feels the crippling pressure to feel perfect.

Definitely worth a read.

If you loved Cleo's perspective in 'Cleopatra and Frankenstein', then this book is your cup of tea. An unflinching portrayal of young women's mental health, the demands and expectations that control our actions. Uncomfortable at parts, and not for the judgemental, but raw and honest. Deeply relatable, exposing even some of the worst parts of myself reflected, I really enjoyed this.

Well, this book certainly provoked a whirlwind of emotions. Initially, I thought that Irish would be the archetypal unlikeable female protagonist - which I love, by the way - but as she unravelled and we got a deeper insight to her psyche, I couldn't help but root for her. The author does an incredible job of broaching the topic of severe depression with the sensitivity required, which is no easy feat. I also enjoyed the subtle exploration of class and how that feeds into friendships, especially among women. Despite her very deep flaws and questionable decisions, I found myself so strongly rooting for Iris by the end.

This is not normally the type of book I would pick up but I was drawn in by the cover and quotes so I was completely blown away by how amazing this story was. Such a fantastic and heartbreaking portrayal of mental illness which was both captivating and almost impossible to read.

It was just excruciating to witness this young woman spiralling into such a profound depression. It was clear from the first chapter that she was struggling with finding a purpose and that most of her daily routines were for show. Her life was a pretence and she was desperately clinging onto the idea that if she continued to fake happiness it would eventually become true. This quickly turned into self-sabotage and the way she kept pushing George and Patrick away was intolerable.

Very powerful and raw, Iris is not necessarily a likeable character but you can't help but feel for her and everybody involved as she desperately battles to simply keep living.

A honest and unflinching portrayal of mental health and how the objectification of women becomes negatively internalised in the female psyche. Iris is chasing the perfect life as dictated to her by societal expectations. She needs to have the successful job in London; she needs to be part of that cool social clique; she needs to be thin; she needs to be sexually attractive to every man in the room. Only when she is envied and lusted after does she feel worthy. But chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist leads to Iris struggling with unrelenting depression. The author does an incredible job of making Iris’s journey feel relatable. As a reader, I couldn’t help but think how incredibly easy it would be to fall prey to the same insecurities and fears.

*Check trigger warnings before reading*

This was such an incredible read, it was powerful and emotional. I don't think this would be for everyone, but I really felt all the emotions from it.

The main character was pretty relatable and I enjoyed reading this one.

Huge thanks to NetGalley - 2/5 - 2.5/5

Sad girl summer - girl acts horribly to get ahead, punishing herself to be different and superior to everyone else; girl gets what she wants and finds she doesn’t want it; girl self-sabotages and eventually finds the start of some peace.

This did touch on the “wading through treacle” side of depression and the ruining everything for no good reason side of mental illness, but ultimately it was too long, illuminated nothing new and was not enjoyable to read.

Wouldn’t recommend, you can get your fix of this from better books. Try Cleopatra and Frankenstein - it has characters you’ll be rooting for and a more compelling context for the issues explored here.

Everyone I Know is Dying by Emily Slapper is a debut novel that delves into the mental health struggles of Iris, a woman in her twenties grappling with depression, toxic relationships, and societal pressures. The story revolves around her self-destructive behaviors, such as engaging in a shallow affair with her boss and taking pride in her disordered eating habits. Even after landing a coveted promotion, Iris spirals further into emotional turmoil, torn between the stability of her flatmate George and the allure of Patrick, a distant and unattainable man.

What sets this novel apart is its raw and unflinching portrayal of mental health, capturing the millennial experience of navigating life, love, and professional success while battling internal demons. The dark humor woven into the narrative balances the weight of Iris’s struggles, making it relatable yet hard-hitting. Readers have praised it for being “brutally relatable” and “relentlessly honest,” with comparisons to The Bell Jar and Sorrow and Bliss.

Slapper’s sharp prose and willingness to explore uncomfortable truths make Everyone I Know is Dying a powerful and memorable debut, offering a fresh and incisive voice in contemporary fiction

Darkly funny, deeply emotional, and ultimately hopeful, Everyone I Know is Dying is a brilliantly written exploration of life, loss, and the human spirit’s ability to endure even the heaviest burdens. Emily Slapper has crafted a novel that is both painfully honest and unexpectedly uplifting.

Everyone I Know Is Dying offers a raw, unflinching look at a woman’s deteriorating mental health. It's a deeply relatable, albeit uncomfortable, journey into self-sabotage, where the main character's flaws are laid bare in a way that feels all too real. While the protagonist is often unlikable, her struggles resonate, mirroring the complexity of grappling with one’s own inner turmoil.

Though not an enjoyable or particularly entertaining read, Slapper’s novel is necessary in its honesty. The mundanity of the character’s life underscores the weight of her emotional battles, making the story both hard to stomach and impossible to look away from. It’s a tough read, but for those seeking a brutally sincere portrayal of mental health, it delivers.

This book was incredibly relatable, especially for anyone else who is 28 like me. Our protagonist, Iris, grapples with the quest for happiness—a timeless struggle. However, the sudden loss in her family forces her to confront a harsh reality: the happiness she thought she had found in the big city, escaping her mundane small-town life, turns out to be a façade. She realises she’s not truly fulfilled.

As Iris faces the reality of her mental state and struggles with self-actualisation, her journey becomes a poignant exploration of personal growth. While I didn’t always like Iris or agree with her choices, I understood them deeply. This reflects the strong character development and Slapper's impressive talent in crafting a compelling narrative.

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Iris enjoys looking her best, comparing herself to others and ensuring she is perceived in the very best light...

Until she doesn't. Giving in to the ever-present, existentialist demon on her shoulder, Iris falls out of her life and into her bed. Ostensibly a sad girl litfic, this is a pretty bleak demonstration of what depression can look like for someone. As the entire novel is written from Iris' perspective, we follow her internal monologue of her mental health crisis, including some pretty realistic "I want to die but do I really if I can't handle the pain to do it?"

The exploration in itself is gritty and depressing and all the things it should be. Even the bits that feel a bit tedious add to the overall effect that we, the reader, are going through this WITH Iris and not just observing. Unfortunately Iris isn't the most likeable character. Mental health crisis aside, her actions aren't always excusable and she often treats good people (poor George) very badly. She's almost intolerably rude to her mother, which is understandable, but still difficult to read (and never resolved)

As for her dual love interests throughout, it's hard to know whether we are supposed to also be confused about what George, Paul and Patrick see in her because it's from her perspective... Or if there's genuinely not a lot to see. I like to think it's the first and that's just additional nuance.

Overall, I did enjoy the book. I'm not against a difficult MC who is unlikeable, unreliable and is largely unmoving. Especially when mental health is being covered so overtly. I suspect some people will struggle to read this, either through relating to Iris too much, or because they can't relate at all and find her unbearable. But I think this will find its market.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Everyone I Know Is Dying is a darkly funny book about millennials, mental health and the prospect of modern dating. It asks the question, is this enough?

I enjoyed reading Everyone I Know is Dying however I feel what I liked about it was that I recognised how good the writing was by how much I disliked Iris. I found her to be completely narcissistic and she seemed to act impulsively, didn’t seem to want to grow up and appeared to lack empathy for others. As much as I disliked Iris I also recognised her in many ways.

I don’t think a book necessarily has to have likeable characters for you to like the story and this book definitely fits that mould.

Everyone I Know Is Dying by Emily Slapper is available now.

Not a book to read if you're feeling a bit down as it deals with some extensive mental health problems. It reminded me a lot of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors.

It's a great debut and excellently written, but be prepared for some hard hitting topics!

A brave, beautiful and authentic portrayal of a young woman struggling with mental illness and searching for meaning; Everyone I Know is Dying is not exactly an enjoyable or easy read, but it’s an impactful and important one.

Our main character, Iris, was magnificent in her honesty and the way she was laid bare to the reader; it was clear she saw the world through a distorted lens that lends an almost dreamlike notion to her storytelling, looking for her own truths in the reflections of other people and how they see her, desperately clinging to anything that looks remotely like joy for the moment it lasts. Despite her authenticity and openness, she’s also a blatantly unreliable narrator because it’s clear she doesn’t even know herself and I couldn’t help but hope for her to find and love herself for real. At times she’s outright unlikeable, relishing in doing things that make her feel better than others but look a little deeper and you can see the warped logic and social standards that have shaped her to think that way.

Between her experiences with suicidal idealisation and mental illness, and the crushing social pressures of existing as a woman in the modern age, you can feel the suffocation and isolation that has seeped into her life and her mind.

It’s almost mundane, in a quite stunning way - the book is slow, pedestrian; just a woman trying to live her life when her mind is turned against her. Although at times the pace was a bit too lacklustre and some readers may find it.

An impressive and powerful story but definitely literary marmite. Thankfully, I love marmite.

A brutally honest and raw exploration of mental health issues and it felt very real. Like are there cameras in my house? This is one for the girls that like Moshfegh.

I went into this book expecting something completely different to what I got. Needless to say I did enjoy it, but didn't realise how deep it would go into suicide / mental health. I enjoyed going through Iris' journey with her, but perhaps at times felt that the writing made me feel emotionally numb and lost. Overall, would read Emily's work again!