Everyone I Know Is Dying follows Iris, our 20 something protagonist, as she inherits some money from her nan and experiences a mental health crisis. What Iris feels she ‘should’ want (career, being desired, nights out etc) do not make her happy and she sabotages her more healthy relationships.

While I’m sure there will be readers who relate to this novel, for me I didn’t feel that it added much to the number of other novels I’ve read with a similar plot and tackling similar themes (no unique POV, enjoyable reading experience, playing with form). I might’ve aged out of this target audience.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the eARC.

3.5 stars. This book is hard for me to review. This is a brave, intense, authentic portrayal of a FMC with significant mental health struggles in the context of identity crisis, self worth and peer pressure and societal expectations that particularly women will face. Due to the nature of the book, it was very difficult to read to the point that I found my own mood transforming when I would pick this up in the mornings and unfortunately I did not enjoy this one - my rating is for the importance of mental health representation and quality of the writing itself.

The first 90% of the book is a brutal, raw insight into the day to day life of Iris, the FMC, as she struggles to find happiness and searches for it in her satirical judgement of others and often, herself. This was particularly hard to read, especially between the 50% -70% of the book and readers should be aware of major triggers in the book. The last 10% is the resolution/message from the author which ends on a positive and restorative note. The message from the author was clear and as mentioned, a crucial offering in this particular theme. I feel I did identify with some of the struggles Iris faced and there is resonance, depth and meaning within the pages for that reason. It is a tough one to rate because I didn't enjoy the read as Iris was constantly self sabotaging and toxic and yet is that a credit to the author for an addressing mental health struggles?

Thank you NetGalley and HQ for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest unedited review.

"I used to think you needed a reason to be alive, I was flailing around waiting to be seen and validated, but maybe I'm just alive like this tree is alive: simply to be here. Life doesn't need a reason or purpose to be valid... I'm not less worthy of help because this pain doesn't stem from some specific cause or trauma."

Iris Ellis is tightly wound. She sleeps with her boss, eats almost nothing to control her weight, and avoids her family who don't understand her London life, the promotion she's been eyeing or her lack of close relationships.

Then, she begins to form a close connection with her flatmate, George. The problem is, even as the relationship deepens, her life falls apart. Iris turns down her promotion and quits her job. She oscillates between eating nothing and eating badly. She spends hours sleeping or crying. All the while, George is there, but despite his caring, Iris finds herself drawn to Patrick, a former colleague who believes that someone can pick themselves up whenever they choose to do so.

As her life shatters into pieces, and Iris finds herself in a deep depression, she believes herself undeserving of love, and thereby destroys the very thing she cherishes most.

This debut is a deep dive into how depression is not a situational disease: it is not dependent on external causes, though these can be triggers. Mental illness does not need trauma to manifest, and that is exactly what happens to Iris. She berates herself for feeling like she does because she thinks something bad has to happen to someone, to justify how they feel. So, she self-sabotages.

I think the author does a great job of exploring the mental health crisis, and in particular, how some people may not even realise they have depression or are in denial about it. It can affect anyone.

At first, Iris is just a highly unlikeable character, but as the author reveals her mental state and inner monologues, it becomes clear that she is in great pain. It is hard and often frustrating to read about her self-sabotage, but ultimately, the author shows there is hope, there are people who understand and care.

A great title, eye catching cover and a very strong opening to this book. I was intrigued by Iris the main character in the beginning and impressed by the authors arresting style of writing.

Unfortunately after I’d read about a quarter of the book, it all went down hill for me. I’m usually a fan of the “sad girl novel” but I found this book more and more difficult to read as the book progressed. Iris is a person who continuously makes the wrong decision and self sabotages , while intially I thought she was portrayed very realistically it then became like witnessing a slow moving car crash. This book drained the life from me; I felt like emptier the more I read and struggled to reach the final chapters despite investing my time and energy reading up this point.

The writing is strong for a lot of this book but oh how I craved some lightness amid the dark or for at least one person to stop enabling Iris and try to help her. It took me so long to read this book as I was actively looking for distractions when it was in my hands.

This wasn’t for me yet appreciate it will strike a chord with other readers.

Not going to lie, this one was a total ‘request for the cover’ because I mean - why wouldn’t you? But oh my days did it pay off because this novel was definitely as stunning as its cover 👌🏻

Iris isn't someone I'd typically find appealing, but I ended up cheering for her despite her egotistical and bitter nature. Her hardships were relatable, making me hope for her triumph over them. Even if at times I was internally screaming ‘what are you doing?!’ whilst wanting hurl my kindle out of the window. But anyone who evokes that much emotion in me absolutely gets my vote.

The author’s ability to weave humor into such an emotionally charged narrative is truly impressive. Her depiction of mental illness, particularly the associated emotional detachment, is both nuanced and authentic, showcasing her exceptional writing talent.

In summary, this novel is one of the most compelling representations of mental illness I've encountered. The author's skilful storytelling has left a lasting impression, making this an outstanding debut. I cannot wait to see what she comes up with next!

I think this will be popular among fans of 'sad girl novels' and litfics. This was so raw, sadly relatable and at times darkly funny. I think fans of books like 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗮 & 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗶𝗻 will be all over this.
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I found Iris to be quite a complex character; there were some scenes where I found her unlikeable but this didn't ruin the story for me, I feel it just made her multilayered and really emphasised her mental health struggles throughout the book. There was so much about her that I could relate to and empathise with, it almost felt like the writer had riffled through my own mind and put my thoughts into the story. If there's ever a comfort book, it would be this one because of how much of it resonated with me while also having an element of hope. There was also enough dry humour throughout that still kept the overall story quite light which was definitely needed at certain times.
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I really enjoyed the writing style in this too; it was a typical contemporary fiction and every character I thought were well fleshed out and you could just tell there had been plenty of thought gone into them. The dialogue scenes were smooth and fairly realistic which is always a plus for me in books like this. I was nervous about how it may all end as I know with other books I've read under this genre, it can sometimes be the ending that ruins them— thankfully that wasn't the case with this. I thought it was a really satisfying and solid end and left me feeling hopeful for Iris while also not having unanswered questions.
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Overall, I actually enjoyed this one a lot more than I'd expected. If you enjoy stories that are predominately character led rather than focused on a solid plot, this will be for you.

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for my advanced digital copy.

I have read many sad girl books and many lost in their twenties books; so I am familiar with this subgenre. In the case of Everyone is Dying I didn't enjoy rerading it. The author accurately portrays the despair and constantness of having severe depression, one of the better protrayals I've read in literature. But most of the book I didn't see the point. Plot beats were predictable and the ending felt more of a moral message than a natural end to Iris' story.
Now Iris is not a likable to narrator or main character. She self sabotages and doesn't face any real consequences. Everyone kind of coddles her and allows her to continue on her path (even sweet George who she does not deserve). I can read about unlikable narrators but with Iris I did not give a single damn about her.
Maybe I'm being picky as I didn't enjoy reading this. It's likely to be a case of "It's me, not you."
2.5 stars as the writing was actually good at points and I could see parts that I should have related to but didn't.

I never tire of a sad girl in the city, so I knew this was for me.

I loved the introduction of Iris. She’s controlled and judgemental and ambitious and mean. She wants to drag other people down to bring herself up. She doesn’t care about relationships or friendships or her work colleagues. She only cares about how she looks, how she appears to other people.

I love the first half of the book. I loved how real and messy it was, the complicated feelings of the sad and insecure.

But the second half I struggled with. I found it a bit overly long, and while Iris was complicated and deep, I found the other characters around her a little one dimensional.

If you love a sad messy woman though, this one is for you.

‘Everyone I Know Is Dying’ is a dark and complex book about loneliness, success and finding joy in the small moments. Iris is an ambitious young professional living in London where she shares a flat with a stranger, and her friends are her colleagues. She is obsessed with what others think and is equally critical of those around her. As the story progresses, Iris becomes increasingly aware of the shallowness of her connections and lifestyle, and is drawn to repeatedly making reckless decisions, plunging her into a mental health crisis.

I have found this book hard to review. It is brilliant because it’s so raw and honest. It is really well written because it really gets into Iris’s mindset and talks about dark themes, which are messy and frankly uncomfortable to discuss. I really struggled with it at times. Especially with the portrayal of Iris’s character. It really gets into her mindset, and her callous and cruelty towards others, is the same as how she treats herself. Characters, such as flat mate George and her mum, that on the surface seem simple, become more complex as the plot develops.

I don’t think this book will be for everyone. The tone is incredibly heavy and there are some emotionally tough themes, such as eating disorders, depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts. However, it is brave in the conversations it is starting, darkly funny in places, and worth the challenge.

Lovers of sad girl fiction, gather round.

As a 20-something, this book was incredibly relatable from the outset. Our protagonist, Iris, navigates the reality of life while searching for happiness—a tale as old as time. However, a sudden loss in her family forces her to realize that the happiness she believed she had found living and working in the big city, feeling as though she escaped the curse of her boring small town upbringing, is a façade. She's simply not fulfilled.

From this point onwards, we follow Iris as she's confronted with the reality of her mental state and struggles with self-actualization. I didn't like Iris as a person and I definitely didn't agree with the choices she made; however, I understood them. This is a testament to how well the characters in this novel were developed and to Slapper's talent.

Thank you, NetGalley and the publishers, for providing me with an eARC. This book is out today (18/7/24)!!

This book was brutally relatable to me, it took me right back to my late twenties/early thirties and how much I struggled to just 'do life' in the face of so much perceived expectation to be a certain way or to like/want certain things.
It's such an unflinching portrayal of what poor mental health is like in an everyday setting - the exhausting nature of it, the despair that this is all you will ever know, the searching outside yourself to find a 'fix'. The level of skill and understanding evident in the writing is almost breath-taking. I read a review that said this is 'the kind of blunt that knocks the wind out of you' and I couldn't agree more. It's gut-wrenchingly bleak but not hopeless at all, another amazing feat of writing. It feels so personal, almost like reading Iris' diary, she is laid completely bare. Not always likeable but, I personally felt, always understandable.
It's not just Iris either, all of the characters are so real I felt like I could bump into them in the street, they come off the page with depth and authenticity.
A book that made me feel seen, understood, and accepted. A fantastic debut, one of my favourite books of the year so far.

A debut novel that deals very well with some tricky issues such as mental health and depression. A good pace to the book that kept me gripped. Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to ARC this book.

2.5 rounded up to 3.
I’m really going back and forth on this one, because in some ways it was an extremely relatable and (for once) realistic depiction of depression - at least from my experience of it. But on the other hand, Iris is such a supremely unlikeable character that in the next breath I hate that I’ve identified with her at all. Maybe I’ve completely missed the point of the novel and she’s supposed to be this completely contradictory person, but the gaps in her personality and differences between her actions, thoughts, and feelings, meant she wasn’t a fully-fleshed person to me. As the novel is very much character-driven (as opposed to plot), this made it a difficult read for me; I didn’t look forward to it.

I have conflicted views about this novel. It's a bit of a literary/commercial crossover and definitely more character-driven than plot-driven. I think I'd struggle to explain what the plot is because there isn't one; we simply follow the life of Iris who is a 'messed up twenty-something'. There is a lot to admire here, particularly in Emily Slapper's writing. She beautifully articulates the feelings of many young women, very often in a humorous way. I'm just not sure it's suited to a full novel. This would be wonderful as a short story or magazine weekly series. After about 60% I really wondered where it was going and thought there must be a huge development in the story soon, but none came. A very talented writer and young women will resonate with the content. A bold, brave novel. Thank you for this copy Netgalley.

A brutally raw and emotionally developed debut, exploring the unfiltered sadness of a young woman. Iris is initially off-putting, seemingly vain, immoral, and internally cruel to others. But through the intimate narrative we quickly discover a fragile and deeply unhappy person struggling with self-realisation and profound loneliness in our competitive, individualistic modern world. I believe this book would be incredibly relatable and reassuring for many, it falls heavily in the popular ‘sad girl’ genre. My struggle to connect more with the novel is certainly personal, I need more humour when reading books which engage so much into heavy emotions and find it incredibly unpleasant to read about eating disorders. However, this is written with such brutal authenticity that I believe it would connect with many readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

Everyone I know is dying is a poignant exploration of grief mortality and the complex web of human relationships. This book left me wanting more it didn’t feel final or complete. The book does a brilliant job of delving into the raw and painful emotions associated with loss and death. The characters are well developed but also an area I felt was incomplete there was more to explore and expose in the characters. The themes of the book are profound, the plot can be somewhat predictable. There are moments when the story seems to follow a familiar trajectory, lacking unexpected twists or developments. Despite its pacing issues and predictability it was a worthwhile read for those who appreciate deeply emotional and character driven stories.

Brilliant, a really honest, poignant and relatable narrative of a young person navigating the twists and turns of early adulthood. Our main character has all the recognisable niggles of wondering whether we’re doing the right job, dating the right person, having an uneasy relationship with food and body image, the whole deal. The fact that she is bumbling along through life pseudo successfully but still having those thoughts makes it even more real for me, she is not extreme on any of the levels, just normal and normalises those feelings and memories for me of a similar age. Lots of very recognisable moments such as the realisation that your own parents are not infallible and have their own insecurities, failings and vulnerabilities and that things are not always forever. It also reinforced my own feelings of it’s ok not to be ok. A great read which is both lighthearted and serious all rolled into one and excellent therapy. Thank you.

Thank you to the publishers and to NetGalley for the ARC.

This book explores mental health in detail and with such tenderness and care, yet complete raw honesty. I related so much to what the main character was going through and her thoughts, and found myself getting emotional more than once. It didn't quite feel like a 5 star read to me, something was lacking, but overall I really enjoyed it and connected to the main character.

I don’t even know how to start reviewing this book. When I turned the last page, I was lost for words. And that surprised me because Iris is not someone I particularly liked - she is narcissistic and has some self-detructive behaviours I couldn’t really understand but I am so glad I stuck with her.

I don’t particularly remember what I was expecting from the book but I wasn’t thinking I’d find the truest portrayal of depression within its pages. Iris’ story is brutal, raw, sad, messy, and real. Slapper brings her emotions to life and it’s impossible not to emphathise with what she’s going through and why she feels so hopeless.

The topics you’d find within this book are part of the global conversation we’re all having today: beauty standards, family dynamics, fake friendships, eating disorders, toxic relationships, the need for validation and reassurance, the search for meaning…

So it really hits home… and makes you think. You’ll yearn to help Iris and will emphathise with the rest of the characters and situations, you’ll see yourself in the pages.

The story brings you down, then lifts you up again.

What a glorious portrayal of what it means to be alive and struggle to be fully present, what it means to really love - others and ourselves. But if we are not going to love ourselves, then maybe we can accept who we are, and be okay with it.

And if you find yourself not caring about Iris, then you’ll just stay for the beautiful writing… in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted so many quotes from a book.

Hopefully people will talk about this one. I know I’ll be picking it up again.

✖️ REVIEW ✖️

Everyone I Know is Dying by Emily Slapper
Publishing Date: 18th July

⭐️⭐️.5/5

📝 - When she’s having sex with her boss, Iris likes to have the lights on so he can see how much younger she is than his wife. She likes watching her colleagues eat unhealthy lunches at their desk while her stomach aches with emptiness. She likes coasting at work knowing she’s going to land a big promotion anyway.
So why when it arrives does she find herself sprawled on her hallway floor, crying uncontrollably? Why, instead of a sense of triumph, does a crippling depression threaten to overwhelm her? Why does the support and stability of her family and friends feel so suffocating? And why, torn between her flatmate George – good, kind, reliable George – and cold, indifferent Patrick, does she only seem capable of making choices that cause her pain?

💭 - I want to start this off by saying it is a very real depiction of mental health struggles, the feeling of not wanting or being able to do anything, feeling like everything is pressing down on you, and everything else that comes with depression. So this mediocre rating has nothing to do with the writing, but instead just that the overall story didn’t work for me. I didn’t feel particularly connected to Iris due to a lack of real exploration of her as a person beyond her mental health. While I enjoyed the first part and how that led into her spiralling, but I found it quite tiring to read about complete self-sabotage for 300 pages.
Unfortunately not for me.

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