A really interesting insight to the life of a sex worker. Occasionally shocking in honesty it was truly fascinating.

The nonlinear timeline confused me at times, however overall I found this incredibly insightful and often a difficult read. Eve doesn't shy away from showing all aspects of being a sex worker and the harsh realities that come from this lifestyle. However I did find Eve to be very defensive, coming across as quite angry and resentful, leading me to not fully warm to them. She's also pretty hostile toward other sex workers, in one breathe refusing to compare herself to them yet also trying to the reader to rally behind better working conditions and protected rights. It was confusing and uncomfortable.

I'd love to read more books that centre sex work in this unflinching way, however I feel the writer needs to be more sympathetic, instead of putting up a barrier like this instance.

A very open and frank story of a woman’s life as a sex worker. This is a no holds barred honest tale of why some people turn to sex work and how this lady made choices that worked for her in her carer and still had a husband and a family. This book is unapologetic which I loved and do make me think differently about sex workers and how unfair the system treats them.

This is a frank and sometimes brutal recount of the life of a sex worker. Eve doesn't mince her words - and her views - on working in the sex industry and the way that sex workers are treated: by clients, the police, other sex workers and society in general.

It is not always an easy read - Eve is angry about the prejudices that are held against sex workers and about how her work is considered immoral by many, even by those who employ sex workers themselves.

Such a different story from what I’ve ever read before (very much the point of this book). It argues so many common place prejudices that are held by many against sex workers. Although anonymous, Eve Smith acts to humanise those who have been dehumanised for too long.

Told in ‘snapshots’ this book tells of the experiences of Eve Smith, a sex worker. It looks at what lead to Eve starting sex work; her experiences of sex work and the people she has met and also the impact her job has on her as an expectant mother.

I found the first half of the book difficult to follow as there is a lot of ‘jumping around’ in terms of the timeline. Also the author, by her own admission, comes across as a very angry person. At times it was hard to pinpoint her views, the anger clouded the issues and it felt contradictory in places.

For me the book found its stride towards the end when Eve talked about her arrest and subsequent conviction. I totally took on board how the legal system fails to protect women who are sex workers and how our justice system, in trying to deter women from sex work actually leaves them with little option but to return to it.

It definitely opened my eyes on certain issues regarding the laws governing sex work. I agree with the author that this is not a black and white issue; the ramifications are widespread.

How Was It for You? by Eve Smith is a candid and thought-provoking exploration of relationships, intimacy, and the complexities of human connection. Smith delves into the raw and often humorous aspects of love and desire, capturing the nuances of personal experiences with authenticity and grace. The narrative is both relatable and reflective, inviting readers to examine their own emotions and expectations. With its mix of humor, honesty, and heartfelt moments, How Was It for You? is a refreshing and insightful read that speaks to the realities of navigating love in all its forms.

Book review 📚
How Was It For You? By Eve Smith
⭐⭐⭐.5

This book is marmite, you will either love it or you will hate it. Me? I adored it! I actually devoured it in less then 2 days. Eve Smith (obviously not her real name) shares her story into the life of a sex worker.
To have this deep dive into what sex workers are subjected too and the insights into “behind the scenes” as we are often mislead thanks to TV programmes and films. Eve Smith manages to make you laugh along the way and the use of her own personal experiences opens the book hugely.
One thing I can say, Eve Smith is not a victim by any means. She is strong, and influential and intelligent. It was so easy to get through, with short chapters making you read so much more in such a short amount of time.
Now, I am only giving 4 stars for the simple reason that the narrative is aggressive! Not only that but I very much get the impression that she thinks she’s better than any other women out there? If it wasn’t for that, it would have been 5 star

This is an intriguing look at the sex industry from 'Eve' (not her real name) who has worked as a sex worker and then - more specialist - as a dominatrix in a variety of settings, including a brothel, a strip club and in luxurious places as an escort.

It's an interesting topic, especially when Eve presents issues around the decriminalisation of sex work and the fact that what feminists want isn't necessarily what would really help these front-line sex workers (she is very scathing about feminists). The legal aspects are also fascinating, such as when Eve gets arrested for running a brothel when her activities are actually far short of that - there is definitely the sense that the women are charged with whatever the police can get to stick and corruption in the treatment of sex workers is rife.

While I did find the book engaging, I did find that Eve was quite bitter and sharp, even as she was defending the choices she had made. I really wanted to side with Eve, but there were some real anomalies in her story. For example, she talked about wanting to refute the stereotype that sex workers come from abusive or difficult backgrounds by talking about her happy childhood; however, in the next breath, she then describes her own past traumas which seem to play into the stereotype she is denying. A lot of the narrative is - quite justly - angry, which makes for quite a challenging reading experience as the narrative sometimes veers off into rants. I think I wanted to understand more about why someone would choose to do this type of work (if it isn't just about money), but I was no clearer after I read Eve's depressing stories of misogyny and having sex with a series of old men.

I was glad that Eve was moving on with her life, firstly by taking up dominatrix work which isn't quite so 'hands on' (so to speak!) and also by meeting someone and having a child. However, the book left me with lots of unanswered questions and a feeling that I'd been shouted at! It didn't dispel any of the preconceptions I had about being a sex worker and I felt really sorry for Eve, although I also felt that she would hate me for my pity. A really challenging book to read and review.

3.5 rounded to 4 stars.

This book was really interesting and Eve Smith shares a great insight into the life of a sex worker.

The chapters are super short so it is quite a fast-paced read. At times, I felt the back and forwards of the timeline was a little confusing and disjointed.

The book was a really interesting and insightful read. However, the general tone of the author seemed to be anger, which put me off at times. I understand Eve is trying to tackle misconceptions about the profession and attitudes towards sex workers, but felt like I was being told off for views I didn't necessarily ever have!

I gave the book 3.5 stars and feel this is pretty fair as despite the angry tone and slightly disjointed feel, I did enjoy the book and kept picking it up to continue reading.

This had a very bold and strong tone throughout and it was an interesting look at the life of a sex worker. At times though, the disjointed narrative made it quite difficult to focus on the timeline and what was happening.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this ARC.

3.75✨

Firstly, thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book.

I really enjoyed this read, I thought it was incredibly eye opening to what the workers are subject to and the ignorance some people can have to it based on movies and tv shows. I think the insight into the job was so interesting and I could listen to the author talk and raise awareness for hours.

The only things that I think let it down, for me personally, is that I couldn’t grasp the timelines sometimes and the entire book felt full of hatred. I mean… rightly so with the way the author has been treated by others but as a reader I’m a supporter and i feel like I’ve been told off. I want the author to know we are on her side.

I struggled with this book. I did switch to the audio version which I found slightly easier to take in. There is some interesting information and it covers important topics. It explains well why sex work needs to be decriminalised. Unfortunately, I ended up DNF'ing at 38%. I found the tone extremely angry and bitter. It's also packed with internalised misogyny. I couldn't understand how she could look down on other sex workers and she has a huge issue with women working in minimum wage and retail jobs. She is hugely judgemental about any other women she works with or comes into contact with and makes out she is better at everything than all of them. It's quite disjointed and the writing jumps around a lot.

This book should be an obligatory reading for everyone getting into adulthood. A lot of our current problems would be solved.

We all have, even once in our lives, been in the debate of "sex work, yes or no", as if we have any right to decide. Any right of saying our elitist opinion from our very accommodated position. I understand how any young woman can position herself during her teen years in the abolitionism side, specially if she only listens to what the politicians say, but this is over now. We need, as a society, to listen to the sex workers and understand their demands. We need to listen, and this book makes you listen.

Eve Smith knows perfectly how to play with making you laugh and making you think at the same time, and she uses very well her own experiences to justify why she's right. Because she is. This is not a book for the morbidity and the arousal, this is a description of a reality we usually forbid to listen.

Thank you very much Picador and NetGalley for allowing me to read this amazing book. One of my favs this year for sure.

Thank you to the publisher to providing me with a copy to review :)

“There is nothing more dangerous than a liberal, middle-class white woman with a moralistic agenda.”

I’ll admit I went into this fairly blind. I found the disjointed narrative hard to follow at times hence the 4 stars. However, what a ride.

This book provides a real glance into the life of a sex worker. NOT an oversexualised fantasy where the protagonist is portrayed as a victim. Our author is not a victim and instead comes across as a powerful, intelligent and creative individual.

The book touches on interesting themes that I think most women can relate to. When Eve said “But now that I’m having a baby it’s as if this act of reproduction is the only work a woman’s body can do that’s worthy of their approval.” I felt that in my soul.

Of course there’s the hilarity you would expect from this kind of book dotted throughout. It’s written in easy to digest chunks that make it great for a quick grab and go kind of book.

I only hope that these real life experiences help to shape a better future for sex workers. A triumph from the “Queen of Watersports”

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand it was really interesting to read about the details of being a sex worker but on the other I felt the author was incredibly judgemental. Learning about the behind the scenes details of sauna's and brothel's was what kept me reading. All the information and thoughts around her work were great. I found the discussions about the laws surrounding sex work and how it effects the industry and her personally were very good!

I could of done less with her attitude though. I know this is a memoir so she can write it however she wants but she was very cutting about many of the women she worked with. I find it hard to believe that she was the best looking, most liked and down to earth worker at every single place she worked.

Also the whole tone of the book was angry. It seeped into everything. I get it though! Her job is illegal and judged wrongly constantly. She has been through some horrible things. But as a reader it got tiring after awhile to be in such a rage filled head. Despite all the life experiences covered or the information shared the emotional tone of the book never changed.

Despite my issues though I would say that this is definitely worth a read for someone like myself who has an interest in the sex industry. It is hard to find books about modern sex workers and this has been the best one I've read so far.

Eve is a mother, partner and sex worker and has been for 20 years. This book talks of her experience in this world, from starting out, finding her feet, the struggle and encounters with the law.
I found parts of this book really eye opening, sad and maddening, along with a bits that made me laugh.
However i struggled with the tone of the book. There were parts that came across quite bitter and often she wanted to make sure that not all sex workers had a tough background but that is then how she portraid herself. There were also time, talking about other sex workers that again, came across quite rude and bitter.
Overall, an enjoyable read and i've walked away with a new perspective on the industy.

How Was It For You? is salacious, enraged, narrated with a frankness to make the Cerne Abbas Giant blush, and utterly unputdownable. The tale grips from the start and is often funny as well as surprisingly tender. Readers who imagine the sex memoir a mere noughties fad should read it and find fresh excitement in the genre without delay.

‘Eve Smith’ (a pseudonym) has many bugbears and one of her biggest are ‘rad fems’ - radical feminists. Besides their perceived sanctimony and urge to patronise, Eve detests how they distort and simplify the reality of sex work. All sex workers have a sob story behind them, have no claim to either an inner life or personal agency, and are incorrigible victims. The same failing is found in lazy screenwriters, who first instinct should be to reject stock characters and idle stereotypes.

Eve’s solution is to give reality back its quirks and nuance. You might suppose, not entirely unreasonably, that a professional dominatrix not only hates men, but does so with a fury grown mechanical. In fact, a misandrist is about as well-suited to the job as a narcoleptic is to flying a plane; it can be done, but rarely with lasting success. The best temperament for the job is theatrical: engagements must be prepped and scripted long in advance and with a feel for the ebb and flow of dialogue.

It surprised me that sex workers can and do form lasting bonds with some of their clients when the chemistry is right. One of the more quietly harrowing stories involves an elderly former client rendered housebound by illness. During her off-hours Eve devotedly visits him at home and spends long hours talking to him and keeping him company, all while avoiding despising glares from his social workers. Nor are other clients exempt. She recalls a sharp pain when she realised a handsome bachelor and devoted architect is, in fact, lonely and starved for affection. If he was lonely, she muses, what hope is there for the rest of us? That bad men exist is a fact. But it’s nice to read something as gently affirming as this:

‘I like to talk, as I actually like men.
Most of the time. Yes, I think they are too easy, too desperate and far too many of them can be dogs but, here's the thing: I have always liked dogs. They're entertaining and just so grateful if you throw them a bone.’

I’ve mentioned that that is an enraged book, but often justifiably so. In parts this is personal. While no victim, Eve had an unfair share of grievances. She grew up wearing ‘jam-jar glasses and train track braces’ and was picked on mercilessly at school, taking refuge in Enid Blyton and adventure stories. Dad was hard-working, Mum an undiagnosed manic-depressive. She recalls the day she had her first kiss, courtesy of a ‘beautiful’ Scottish boy, and felt desired for the first time. The first major boyfriend, a middle-class GP, the apple of her parents’. eyes and an obvious control freak, almost choked her to death. Her love of acting led her to drama school - Eve is a classically trained actress - and with it the full force of southern snobbery. Actresses, even in 21st century Britain, are still expected to speak RP as their default mode. You can only speak in your real accent when playing a prostitute, especially when like Eve (and myself, for the record) you hail from Birmingham. (‘ “You're from Birmingham?” they'd chuckle, saying the word as though it was hard to push out of their sneering lips. “Well, you would have had to move away from there sooner or later, wouldn't you? Well done.” ‘)

I hope you agree this kind of thing isn’t merely snobbish, disgusting, needless, and wrong. It’s absurd.

I also hope that readers don’t miss the economic lessons embedded in the text. They’re not trifling. Perhaps only farmers read the economic room better than a sex worker. When Eve started out, the hourly rate was relatively high. Competition from the Internet and Eastern Europe has saturated the market, particularly in London, to the point where prices have fallen and sex work is now cheaper than ever before. Pressure to perform ‘extras’ is fierce. Workers can spend as much time branding themselves on social media as working - particularly draining are ‘maintenance’ posts - and finding the most cost-effective advertisers. This has brought hazards both local and distant. When holidaying in countries that use facial recognition software, this has dire consequences. To slightly paraphrase, blow a U.S. president for free and they make you First Lady; blow a plumber for market rate and they turn you back at the border.

The book is richly funny and its comic highlights are many:

‘I was a klutz on stage and I am a klutz in the dungeon. I have electrocuted my own nipples and set fire to my laptop.’

‘Between us, Adam and I have a wealth of experience. Street smarts, of course, but academic smarts too. Adam has had the best education that his fine brain could get him; four years at Oxbridge studying physics. Then there's me. A quick learner and streetwise, with a side of strong muscle that comes from beating men in arm wrestles for drinks since I was twenty, and then later for cash. And never underestimate how strong you have to be to get past two sphincters. So, I often think that with both brains and brawn we can achieve quite a lot together. That we're quite the team. Four hours of consultation and cussing, sweating and swearing, and we still haven't been able to assemble the cot.’

I recommend learning a few key segments by heart for your party piece or screenshotting for the Facebook feed. If there’s any justice, perhaps Brick the policeman, Doctor Tom, or the more arrogant specimens splayed on these pages will overhear them in conversation, duly sweat from the palms, and regret they didn’t treat this gifted author better.

Thanks to NetGalley etc.

I enjoyed the book and very much appreciated the opportunity to read it. It is quite hard hitting and portrays the life of a sex worker very honestly. I would unfortunately mark the book down slightly due to the bitter and aggressive narrative running through the read. Sure it's just my view but it did grate on me somewhat.

I was intrigued by this book and what it would tell us.
On the whole, I found it interesting.
Such a different was of life, but one the author rocks.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.