Ema Thurairajah’s Being, Belonging, Becoming is an enlightening exploration of the human journey to understand the self. Through a blend of science, philosophy, and introspection, Thurairajah invites readers to question the very foundation of identity, relationships, and personal growth. It’s a thought-provoking guide for anyone seeking to know themselves better and navigate their place in the world.

Content Overview

The book is organized around three key dimensions of human existence: being (the essence of selfhood), belonging (our connection to others and society), and becoming (our evolution over time). Thurairajah weaves together insights from psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy to examine questions such as: What does it mean to be “authentic”? How do relationships shape our identity? How do we grow and change without losing who we are?

Strengths

One of the book’s greatest strengths is its balance between intellectual rigor and accessibility. Thurairajah delves into complex concepts like consciousness and relational identity but explains them in a way that is engaging and easy to grasp. The evidence-based approach, drawing from cutting-edge research, lends credibility to her reflections, while her clear writing and relatable examples make the material feel personal and relevant.

Another standout feature is the book’s holistic perspective. By combining science and philosophy, Thurairajah avoids narrow definitions of the self, offering readers a multidimensional view of what it means to exist and grow. Her discussions on belonging are particularly compelling, highlighting the importance of community and connection in defining ourselves.

Themes

At its core, Being, Belonging, Becoming is about self-discovery and transformation. It challenges readers to think beyond static ideas of identity, emphasizing that the self is fluid, relational, and ever-evolving. It also underscores the importance of finding balance—between independence and interdependence, authenticity and adaptability, and being true to oneself while embracing change.

Critique

While the book is deeply insightful, some readers may find its philosophical passages abstract or dense, particularly if they are less familiar with such topics. Additionally, those looking for a more practical, step-by-step guide to self-discovery may find the text leans more toward reflection than actionable advice.

Conclusion

Being, Belonging, Becoming is a profound and deeply researched exploration of identity and growth. Ema Thurairajah’s ability to blend science and philosophy offers readers a unique lens through which to examine their own lives. For anyone curious about the nature of selfhood or eager to better understand their place in the world, this book provides both insights and inspiration. Thoughtful and illuminating, it’s a must-read for seekers of self-awareness and personal transformation.

this was interesting but nothing new; it read more like an essay than a book and lacked the authors personality, which is a personal need for my reads, especially non fic

Thanks to NetGalley for an opportunity of an early read, but damn, was it a waste of time(
It's a mix of citations of rather old research, ideas that were presented long before the author, and a drip of god-knows-what. I really don't get the intended audience, i highly doubt that an average (even if a well-versed and educated person) would find this interesting or entertaining, or at the very least – useful.

It's not well written, it's mostly boring, and it was a hell to read due to poor formatting. And the description/annotation is not super relevant or cleat

Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the copy of this ARC.
I liked this book, but it's a challenging read. I'm not entirely sure what Thurairajah's focus is and who the target audience is, but this is a book that I'd suggest only to academics. For the layperson, the language feels challenging and complex. The information disseminated is dense and bears some knowledge in the subject area to land with the reader fully. This book reads almost like a dissertation and asks the reader to consider their philosophy of self and question the idea of who they truly are. I was drawn to this book because the summary was concise and asked us if we wanted to get to know ourselves better. Of course, I do! The formatting on the Kindle version is messed up, and I hope the publishers fix that before it goes out to print! I had to use the ADE edition to read this, and it was a hard read for me. I think that the author writes well, but is straddling the line between appealing towards laypeople and academics, and it leans more towards academia. More philosophical and I think would benefit from a more detailed description so that we know exactly who the book is for!