Nesting by Roisin O’Donnell

This book was so beautifully written and so deeply painful that I was out of breath towards the end. When I put it down I had to sit in silence for a while and just digest it all. It’s the story of a woman trying to leave a relationship that is tying her down and eating her alive. Everything she was before - bright, intelligent and full of life - has been worn away. After her husband’s treatment of her, as well as having two children in four years, Ciara has had enough. She can see his behaviour as a pattern and despite being absolutely terrified she needs to find the strength to go. Ciara has no real support, her family is Irish but live in London and despite her yearning to see her mum sister the law states that she can’t take the children out of Ireland without the written permission of their father. Her only option is the housing office, to tell them she’s homeless and hopefully get some emergency accommodation. As she meets other women in the same situation, she founds out that emergency and temporary have a very different meaning to the housing department. They offer her a temporary hotel room but with some women still there after a year it’s going to be a long slog. This small double room with one bed and no view is the first place they’ve felt even remotely safe. Even if they do have to go down a separate staircase so they don’t bump into tourists. Will Ciara have the strength to stay away and build a new life for herself?

Money is something else she needs to work on because she knows nothing will come from him, even when she knows she is pregnant for a third time. They can’t live on what the government provides. It’s only going to cover day to day subsistence and she needs to be able to put money aside, to rent somewhere that’s a new home for them all. Somewhere they can put themselves back together. I loved the solidarity between the women living in the hotel. They work together, being there for each other’s kids when they need to interview or view houses. They make each child’s birthday special, as well as decorating the whole corridor for Halloween and Christmas. Some of the hotel staff help too, particularly the porter Diego. Ciara lands a job doing what she did before the girls, teaching English as a foreign language and having to learn Irish on the side. It’s a hard way to live, having to get about on foot and working on her Irish after she’s put the girls to bed. I was saying in my head ‘please don’t go back’ over and over.

Ciara’s husband terrified me. He follows a pattern, having love bombed Ciara in a whirlwind romance he changes straight after she moves to Ireland and they’re married. His restrictions and the births of both girls have left Ciara stuck at home, friendless and a constant target. I recognised the fear she was feeling on a daily basis, quietly tip-toeing around him, desperate to avoid igniting his unpredictable rage. Trying to keep her girls shielded from the worst. I have to make an admission here so that you can understand the strength of my reaction to this novel. For four years, after I lost my husband, I was in an abusive relationship. I was incredibly vulnerable and although he didn’t touch me physically I was terrified of him. I was subjected to manipulation, rage and withdrawal of affection all because I was terrified of being left alone. I was so scared he would leave if I didn’t keep him happy and I’d be left alone with my grief. I’d needed a happy ending so badly, I sleepwalked into a nightmare. I allowed myself to be totally disrespected and abused. It wasn’t my fault. He is responsible for his own actions, but I still felt so much guilt about the failure of the relationship. So for me this book was really personal and it was so well-written that I felt Ciara’s story bodily. When I finished my chest was tight and my throat was sore. I felt absolutely wrung out.

What would happen when he was awarded visitation by the courts. She knows he won’t hurt the girls but he might use them against her. What if he doesn’t bring them back? This particular fear heightens after she goes into labour early. How can she hand over a completely defenceless baby? It’s clear to see his misogyny when he realises he’s had a son and I feared that he might keep him. I felt really uncomfortable about the nestling crows he brings home when they’re still together. They’re in their nest, barely a few days old and he wants to hand rear them. They are so bald and vulnerable and I was scared he would hurt them, but he seems to enjoy the control he has over these helpless creatures. After Ciara flees he is left with one crow, now feathered and able to leave the nest he keeps it in the house, shitting and shedding feathers everywhere. He tethers it with a long lead outside, showing it the freedom it could have but keeping it for himself. It feels unbearably cruel. It’s such a clever and chilling metaphor. This is not a comfortable read, especially if you’ve been through an ordeal like Ciara’s. It helps when the author does such an incredible job of depicting the experience and i fully believe that this author wanted to get it right for all women who’ve gone through this. I find that the more I read about other experiences of coercive control and psychological abuse the stronger I feel. Yes, I was left with tension, but I was also left with triumph. It is possible to leave men like this. It’s possible to live a full and happy life. I read on hoping with all my heart that Ciara would make it through and build a new life for her and her children. Underneath my fear I felt this sliver of hope for her, after all I did it.

Nesting by Roisin O'Donnell

Ciara and her two young daughters leave emotionally abusive husband Ryan. Unable to leave Ireland to travel to her family in England, Ciara tries to secure accommodation for herself and her daughters in Dublin, but the housing crisis makes this almost impossible and she is placed in a hotel room along with other young families.

What a BRILLIANT book - an amazing achievement by the author! I read it practically in one go and felt like I was right beside Ciara all the way - my heart was racing when she was escaping and dealing with the sinister Ryan, oh my.... Then the housing situation... deeply upsetting. The author is clearly so knowledgeable about the themes of the book but creates a fantastic story too - I loved the characters in the hotel and Ciara's sister! Very VERY highly recommended - deserves to win prizes!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book.

Brilliant emotional read. Ciara is being emotionally abused by her husband, but it true firm he has her convinced it’s all her. She has left him before and went back but this time she’s pregnant and has two girls to consider so she’s leaves for good.
This book shows the complex emotions involved when you are going through a situation like this, it has been well written with knowledge and compassion.
Fantastic book

This was an easy read but not an easy subject - not enjoyable but very compelling. This debut about a pregnant young mother-of-two, who leaves her husband after coercive control and insiduous abuse, which she finds hard to explain, is well written and tells a Cathy Come Home-type story for our times. It's written with great empathy, and I found myself rooting for Ciara from the outset. It's hard to understand, if you've never been in that position, how relationships like hers reach the point of no return and why she hasn't done something about it before. It's told with tenderness and poignancy and sheds a light on the terrible situations facing women like Ciara and their seemingly powerless struggles for help and support, not least in finding a safe home for themselves and their children.
There were clunky moments for me, in some of the husband's dialogue and behaviour and a metaphor with a rescued bird which seemed forced.
However, it's a novel well worth reading and, set in a Dublin which so many visitors know as a lively tourist-destination, would make a cracking TV serial. Three stars might seem low but it's a fair rating for me. I'm glad I read the book and thank NetGalley and the publishers for a pre-publication copy.

I first heard about this book on social media and my interest was piqued. Nesting to me was one of those books that hooked me right from the very beginning. It’s difficult to say too much without giving away spoilers but it was a complete eye opener to me and thankfully I am one of the lucky ones who has never had to experience like what Ciara suffered as she tried to break away from her husband. Sadly although this is a work of fiction this does happen to many women and men all over the world. This for me was an easy read but it really struck a chord with me the suffering the women in the book endured at times.

This was a heartbreaking read which I found extremely tough and very emotional. I cried at several points in the story. It's a brilliant evocation of the fear and constant struggle of a coercive relationship. At several points I wanted to jump in and save her. The writing is extremely realistic. It isn't as bleak as I've made it seem though, some beautiful writing and the joy found in everyday relationships and children are well done.

I raced through this in a couple of days and I know I will think about it for a long time.

Highly recommended

The trauma of leaving home, pregnant with two small children is what creates the tension from the start. Anyone old enough to remember the gritty 60s drama “Cathy come home”, will feel for her. Things have moved on from then though, and this time the abuse is not visible, and society recognises emotional abuse in the home, and what is hinted at throughout that the power game involves sex too. The overcrowding of the support system is highlighted by the difficulties of finding shelter, but she finds mostly warmth and friendship in the people she meets in temporary housing, that is a hotel. Leaving is one thing, but staying away is another, and her doubts about her decision and herself are preyed upon by the husband who seeks to control her. He won’t let go easily, and her love for her children is so strong she is tormented by the fear of letting him care for them alone. He is extremely volatile, and his temper will get the better of him. Throughout the book there is a tension and a fear for the worst, but we somehow know that she has the strength to get through this.

This was a well-written novel about a woman navigating life after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. The writing was thoughtful, and there were moments that really stood out, but overall, the story felt a bit slow and uneventful for me. While I appreciated the themes and some of the character development, it didn’t fully hold my attention. A solid read, but not particularly memorable.

A very powerful well written novel about coercive control. The book is set in Ireland during the housing crisis and is about a pregnant woman who runs away from her controlling husband taking her two small daughters with her. The abuse is not physical and Ciara constantly questions the decision she has made to take her children from their home to live in a hotel for the homeless with no access to decent food. Ryan is never far away still controlling Ciara and banning her from taking her children out of Ireland to her family in England. It is not an easy read but we see Ciara growing stronger and the book ends on a hopeful note. Thank you Netgalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for a honest review.

This wasn't an easy read in any way. My heart is broken from this sad sad story. My heart was genuinely in my mouth readnng this book. Powerful, raw and emotional.

Nesting tells the story of Ciara, a mother in Dublin who is trying her best to escape an abusive relationship. This was such a tense read at times, and I thought it dealt with its subject matter so well. My only (minor) complaint is that sometimes the writing is a bit repetitive: so many short sentences (too many for me), a lot of the scenes constructed in a way that felt quite samey. But overall I would recommend; although it's defos not an easy read, it's a worthwhile one!

Nesting is a raw and powerful read that dives deep into emotional (domestic abuse), the housing crisis, and the journey of self-discovery, strenght and growth. For me, Ciara’s story struck a chord, as it mirrors some of my own experiences and challenges.

Ciara’s life is upended by the emotional abuse she suffers in a toxic relationship, and the novel doesn’t shy away from the devastating effects this has on her sense of self and security. But what makes this truly special is how it shows Ciara’s resilience and strength as she begins to rebuild her life piece by piece.

The writing is vivid and unflinching, and it captures the heavy reality of these issues without losing sight of hope. I found myself rooting for Ciara at every step, as she discovers not just her own power but also what she truly deserves in life.

Overall, it is an emotional, thought-provoking story. It’s about surviving, thriving, and finding your voice in a world that doesn’t always make it easy. This book stayed with me long after I turned the last page, and I can’t recommend it enough.

Roisín O’Donnell’s debut novel Nesting is almost unbearably tense, so gut-roiling that I was torn between sticking it in the (metaphorical) freezer and wanting to gulp it down in one sitting.

Early in the novel, our protagonist Ciara sees a pamphlet advertising “Escape the pressures of everyday life at the Hotel Eden”. This far-from-paradise location is where she and her two smallies are surviving. I’m sure Ciara would settle for a humdrum life in a heartbeat, for she is trying to escape a marriage founded on coercive control.

Why are they in a hotel, on a floor set aside for the ‘homeless’? Well, Ireland’s housing crisis means there is nowhere for them to go. Ciara’s family are in the UK, and Ryan has ensured a block be put on the girls’ passports, plus his controlling ways have cut Ciara off from all her friends. She is also entirely financially dependent on him as he talked her into forgoing work outside the home, doling out just enough money for the messages, leaving her precious little means to escape this nightmarish situation.

What follows, then, is a nightmarish attempt to navigate the housing system—a series of cramped waiting rooms, complex forms, and unanswered phone calls, all while attempting to sustain a two and four year old, whatever else is going on; they need to be fed, washed, and entertained. Mammyhood does not stop.

Intertwined, in a stream-of-consciousness style, we glimpse flashbacks from Ciara and Ryan’s relationship, revealing just what she is trying to flee. O’Donnell does an excellent job of tracking Ryan’s moods; he can transition from charming romancer to menacing manipulator with chameleon ease.

Adding to the tension, the absence of physical violence complicates Ciara’s plight. It makes it even more challenging for her to communicate the urgency of her situation to the authorities and leads her to question her own reality through the lens of Ryan’s insidious gaslighting.

With each page, the stakes rise, pulling you deeper into their world. Prepare for an emotional rollercoaster filled with raw, unsettling realities. Nesting deserves to be a bestseller!

Many thanks to the publisher for the opportunity to read an advance copy via NetGalley. As always, this is an honest review.

A book that is both terribly sad but yet uplifting. Set in Ireland we follow the story of Ciaran and her young children as they fight a system that is unable to cope with either homelessness or domestic abuse. Were in not for the support of friends made in room 124 - a hotel for the homeless - and the unwavering love of Ciaran's family back in England her search for justice would undoubtedly have ended in failure.
The insight into how the homeless face rejection and lack of empathy from both society and its institutions are vividly described, as is the sheer stamina and courage shown by Ciara as she faces them down. Every one of the characters is beautifully portrayed by Roisin O'Donnell and the novel is perfectly paced.
"Nesting" will draw you deep into Ciaran's psyche and you shall share her feelings of terror as well as her few fleeting moments of happiness. A beautifully crafted and authentic portrayal of a, regrettably, all too common situation. Definitely a 5 star read.

When I got the confirmation email last week that I was approved for this book I wanted to blow off all my study and work and just delve right in! Instead I not so patiently waited until I finished one of my two exams and decided this was my reward and what a reward it was!

When the opening chapters mention the main character Ciara taking a pregnancy test in the bathrooms in Blanchardstown shopping centre, I knew we were in for a rough ride. We follow the twists and turns of Ciara’s motherhood journey, through the manic cleaning, the dread, the coercion and control, pilfered notes, nighttime expectations and how this idea of Nesting wasn’t about preparing for the impending arrival but rather her departure.

Based in the backdrop of the Repeal 8th Referendum in May 2018 along with the Housing Crisis Nesting deals with the complex issues of the day, of motherhood, body autonomy, choice and how abuse isn’t always physical. We see the realistic representation of the hotelisation of the housing crisis, the curfews, the malnutrition, the back entrances, the viewings and discrimination to the HAP scheme.

This was such a powerful, eye opening and stigma breaking read. These are the true stories of our day and thanks to Roisin for capturing it.
Nesting is due out 30th January and I want to thank Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for letting me get access to this early copy.

Not an easy read but a powerful, emotional and hopeful read all the same. Highlights issues of emotional abuse and coercive control and set against the background of the housing crisis in Ireland.

My thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book

Ciara is in an emotionally abusive marriage. She needs to get herself and children away from her husband Ryan. Her only family live in Sheffield, whilst they are in Ireland..
They find themselves homeless and living in a basic hotel; where Ciara makes new friends, who intern help her move forward.
This book, I believe portrays a true account of what life is like in a emotionally abuse marriage. There are no physical signs for others to see, only word of mouth.
Will Ciara be able to fight off Ryan and his toxic parents or will she be forced back to the famy home?

Nesting is a debut novel and a chilling read about insidious psychological domestic violence.

From the opening pages setting the scene of a standard family day out, we quickly discover the clues that it’s not as relaxed as it first appears. Ciara is walking on eggshells to appease her husband Ryan, permanently assessing his moods and adjusting her behaviour accordingly. She plans everything to the smallest detail knowing that Ryan will ask her questions about where she’s been or who she’s spoken to. She knows from bitter experience that there will be consequences if he’s not happy with the response.

We quickly find out that Ciara and her two young daughters have tried to leave Ryan before but returned to the family home for a fresh start. She regrets this move more than she can ever say and when she finds out that she’s pregnant with her third child, she knows she has to leave.

She leaves Ryan in a hurry, grabbing what she can before she’s discovered. She doesn’t have a plan, she’s so beaten down by her life experiences over the last few years. She approaches the council for help, and is offered temporary accommodation in a hotel, where the homeless families are hidden from the paying guests. The family come up against bureaucratic systems and severe lack of housing. In the meantime, she is taking the girls to see their father regularly; he’s sweetness and light now that Ciara has stood up for herself and it’s chilling to hear how charming he can be when he wants to.

As time passes, there’s a permanent anxiety that Ryan will win and Ciara will go back to him, he is so convincing and so sure that he is right. His own family and friends back him too, telling Ciara that he’s right and she’s lucky to have him.

The story is expertly written and powerfully told. It’s a small insight into how easy it is for women to lose everything and have to start again whilst still carrying the domestic burden of child care, house hunting and working.

A really compelling debut novel about a woman trying to escape from an abusive marriage in the midst of the Irish housing crisis. Ciara is a sympathetic and believable figure, left isolated after deciding to leave her husband, isolated from her former friends and with her family based in England . We are drawn into the frustrating and soul-destroying process of trying to find somewhere to live, and see that leaving an abusive, controlling partner is not about making a single, final decision but involves a never-ending series of calculations, negotiations and compromises, as Ciara tries to establish a safe home for herself and her children.

Nesting by Roisin O'Donnell

4.5 stars.
A debut, that is far from an easy read at times, and yet such a beautiful one which I struggled to put down. It’s centred very much on Ciara, a young Irish woman and mother whom cherishes her children above all else, and yet is trapped in a coercive, abusive marriage. The book is about her difficult escape, and portrays the hard truths of why so many women simply do not successfully leave. That old adage question addressed to women in such marriages - ‘Why don’t you just leave?’ is very much addressed here. It also acutely details the Irish housing crisis, where whole families are forced to ‘live’ in barely acceptable single hotel rooms because of the acute shortage of rental properties. This is a book that I will be recommending to many.

Thank you NetGallery, Simon & Schuster, and of course to Roisin O'Donnell for an ARC.