4.5 stars rounded up

Quietly beautiful, Rules For Ghosting was a warm hug and bittersweet surprise. I couldn't put it down and have so much happiness for these loving, flawed, wonderful characters.

Ezra is a yoga teacher in job limbo, a doula who was raised in a funeral home, a bisexual trans man with a huge adorable dog named Sappho, and a fixer who can't seem to take the time to focus on their own selfcare. Oh, and they can also see ghosts...

First, I have to say I was delighted by the excellent dialogue - all the conversations flow so smoothly, and the friends and family have such fun, sarcastic, and brutally realistic back and forths. This made the narrative flow really well and helped draw me in straight away. I especially liked the sibling dynamics, as it's just so comfortable and close knit.

I was also impressed by the careful and loving attention to detail in terms of rituals. You can feel the importance tradition and culture has for the family, and it fits thematically as well with the book as a whole.

The supernatural elements didn't play as big a role as I expected in this story, but the self healing, relationship building, and emotional journey of Ezra, Jonathan, and the others was so charming and raw that I didn't mind that the bigger questions about the ghosts never were addressed. Instead, I could focus on the weight of family baggage, toxic childhoods, crippling anxiety and struggles with self worth, flirtations, happy doggo moments, body dysmorphia, building support networks, and all the other incredible things this book explores.

One thing that stuck out to me was that Ezra doesn't seem 27, nor do many of the others really seem to fit their respective ages. They behave much younger, and I kept forgetting they weren't college students.

In some ways, Rules for Ghosting reminded me of Under the Whispering Door - grief and the afterlife play such a constant role in both, and the romance was so comforting and sweetly right that it made me sad and overjoyed all at once. This is a cozy, heartfelt, emotional ride that deserves a read, and I'm so glad to have picked it up.

There’s so much to enjoy with this one - ghosts, romance, lots of queer representation, fun friendships and family drama!

I loved that this had ghosts, but wasn’t scary. In fact my favourite bits were probably Ezra’s interactions with the ghosts - like the one in grocery store indicating which wine he should buy. Honestly, I’d have liked even more ghost content!

Interestingly this book had one of my least favourite tropes, cheating, but because of how it was done it didn’t mar my enjoyment too much. It was side characters and played into all the family drama and worked for the plot.

I really liked the romance between Jonathon and Ezra. Some of the back and forth got on my nerves a little, but was mostly understandable as they were both battling with their own issues. There was lots of lovely tender moments, blushes and finding each other irresistible and that was lovely. It was also really beautiful that Ezra could communicate with Jonathan’s late husband and they could all be content in the knowledge that Ben just wanted them to be happy,

A highlight was also the sibling relationships. It was really heartwarming to read a book where the three siblings were all really close and just wanted to support each other…amongst a lot of teasing and the odd squabble of course!
Then there’s also the cool friends and roommates too!!

Really enjoyable read with lots of healing and love. If anything I think this could have actually been a bit longer to give all the side characters a bit more depth. There were so many cool ones and I could have read much more about them!

'Rules for ghosting' is a tender, emotion filled story, dealing with the joy and sadness of life and death. It's a story I didn't expect to like this much, to make me smile and cry a little, to connect with some of my own feelings around family, caring and still needing the ability to put boundaries, the desire to be seen and yet to be so keen on hiding.

Usually, I am not really a fan of present tense narrative (really depends on the story and the execution). In this case, it works really well to enhance the story and to give it an form of presence, of a story happening as it was told. It gave the story a pull that pushed me to read and read, to follow Ezra as he walks through a time filled with emotions.

'Rules for ghosting', even with the ghost elements, isn't a ghost story. Yes, ghosts (real ghosts and emotional ghosts) are important and shape the story, but it is not their story. It's Ezra's. In the same way, yes, the romance element is present, plays a huge role, and yet I can't resume the story around it.

Speaking of the romance, it is a SWEET one. Really, really sweet. Not without struggles and difficult moments, but so kind and gentle, it put a smile on my face.

All the characters have their lives, from the main character, obvioulsy, but also the secondary and tertiary characters, who have enough of a presence and liveliness to give the impression of doing their own things without us seing. Ezra's found family is so supportive and fun, in a different way his blood family is. Because his blood family is sweet and fun too, but so burdened by secrets and unresolved issues it plagues them a little. Seeing deal and tread around it to find a new balance was really nicely done.

All in all, an endearing story about grief of all kind, but also love, support and being yourself. I definitely recommend it if such tales are something you enoy.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore.
This was a good read. The cover drew me in. I did find it slow to start with. But once the ghost came in I couldn't put it down. I did like Ezra. I also liked Becca. I did like how Ezra and Jonathan were together. I did like the ending. 4*.

Blurb.
Rule #1: They can't speak. | Rule #2: They can't move. | Rule #3: They can't hurt you.

Ezra Friedman can see ghosts - which made growing up in a funeral home complicated, especially with his grandfather's ghost giving disapproving looks at every choice he makes from his taste in boyfriends to his HRT-induced second puberty. It's no wonder that since moving out, he's stayed as far away from the family business as possible.

But when dream job disappears and his mother uses Passover seder to tell everyone she's running away with the rabbi's wife, Ezra finds himself back in the thick of it at the funeral home.

Having agreed to help out, Ezra must face not only his loved ones, but also his crush on Jonathan - the handsome funeral home volunteer who also happens to be his new neighbour - and Johnathan's ghostly relative, who is breaking every spectral rule Ezra knows.

As he tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, Ezra will soon realise there's more than one way to be haunted...

#rulesforghosting @ShellyJayShore #netgalley #generalfictionadult #lgbtqia #romance @orionpublishinggroup #ad #FreeBookReview