The Rest of Our Lives begins with the promise of Miranda July’s All Fours — a middle-aged man drives from the East to West coasts of America in what appears to be a mid-life crisis — but what follows is somewhat quieter and more contemplative.

Tom always said he’d leave his wife after their daughter Miri left home. So now that he’s dropped her off at college, he needs to decide what to do with the rest of his life. He’s lost his position as a law professor after his students complained about his politics and is considering representing a basketball player in a controversial lawsuit about racial discrimination. He’s also suffering from a strange set of symptoms which may suggest long Covid, but he’s refusing to accept that he’s past his physical peak, still insisting on running, swimming and shooting hoops. So when Tom decides to visit an old friend rather than returning home to his wife, his whole future is up in the air.

This is a gentle, thoughtful novel, but it didn’t quite land with me as a reader. Although the subject matter is universal — middle age, illness, marriage breakdown, children becoming adults —, the writing feels distinctively American, full of references to basketball, college and US geography. Tom is also an unsympathetic protagonist, and while his self-pity and passivity are no doubt intentional, they become quite tiresome after a while. The most moving parts of the novel involve Tom’s interactions with the other members of his family, which present a more empathetic, well-rounded and authentic portrait of family life.

While I acknowledge I’m probably not the target audience, I’d still recommend this book for fans of quiet but powerful literary fiction and for readers at similar life stages themselves.

The Rest of Our Lives by Ben Markovits

Starting life at University is a significant milestone, especially when it is your younger child. Suddenly your house is different. This is a time for Tom to reflect on how difficult it was, coming to terms with his wife, Amy’s affair many years earlier. How he held his family together till their daughter left home. After taking her to her student digs, Tom sets off on a road trip, visiting people, places and memories, whilst noticing deteriorating health; a middle aged rites of passage. His story is like a metaphor where life itself is all about enjoying the journey, rather than looking at the destination,which is aging and frailty.

A book about male teenage angst may be familiar, but male middle age does not automatically come with the knowledge of how to navigate it.

#docs.reading.room

Intensely lonely, nostalgic and reflective, 'The Rest Of Our Lives' will leave you feeling hollow after finishing it. I will say, as I was reading this book I didn't feel so emotionally attached to the main character, Tom, even though he shares all of his life experiences in a vulnerable and unfiltered way. I grew fonder towards him as the book went on and by the end I genuinely felt a sadness for what he was and is going through.

This book is written like an internal monologue, an endless stream of Tom's consciousness. It almost feels biographical, some details shared are so menial I find it hard to believe his character is a work of fiction. Reading this book felt like watching a documentary play out, especially as it builds up towards the end.

I would compare this book to the movie 'Ladybird' in some ways which is quite funny as that's one of my favourite films and this book is defo not up there with my faves at all (even though I did enjoy it) !! It seems to master the 'nothing happens' genre in a way that isn't boring for audiences. It gives a glimpse into the realities of someone's everyday life - even if they aren't relatable to you personally.

I feel an emptiness and nostalgia after finishing this book. It is extremely reflective and raises a lot of questions about morality and mortality. Not something I would usually go for but I would say overall I enjoyed it ! some parts did feel a little slow which is a let down as it is a shirt book but I would said the majority of it is well paced - so much distance happens within the books timeline.

Thank you to Faber and Faber, and NetGalley for this arc !!

**All opinions are my own !!**

This is a new author for me, but the book sounding very appealing in its description and the cover made me curious.
The story follows Tom, his wife and their children and covers some very heavy subjects, including affairs, health, friendships, aspirations, grown up children, mental health-at times it goes pretty deep. You realise pretty much straight away that the story is being narrated by Tom, so you get all of his thoughts first hand. I personally enjoyed this as I felt it made for a deeper insight into him as a character. It allowed you to feel exactly what he was feeling and at times I questioned in my own head whether or not I would respond in the same way. Tom is on a “road trip” after taking his daughter to college. This is a spontaneous decision, but one that really adds weight to this whole story.

The Rest of Our Lives by Ben Markovits was a compelling read.

Tom Layward has been married to his wife Amy for years. He discovers that she has had an affair but they agree to stay together for the children and until their daughter Miriam turns eighteen years of age. One can only imagine how that betrayal festers over the years and eats away at a person and a marriage.

Tom drops off his daughter Miriam at College and rather than going home. In a snap decision he just keeps on driving. This is after all the point in time that he agreed to stay married to his wife. The revelation is that he doesn’t need to go home. So he uses the time to revisit his past and people from the past on this sort of road trip.

It was fascinating read into the complexities of marriage, sacrifices, compromise, regret, a life lived but not also not lived.

Huge thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher, Faber & Faber, for making this book available to me in exchange for a fair and honest review.

What a powerful tale; a really unexpected treasure. This is the story of Tom and his quest to find himself. It’s such a simple premise; he’s reached mid life, there’s a health concern and he’s living with the memory of betrayal by his wife, Amy, some years earlier. He drops his daughter off at university and instead of going home, just keeps driving. It’s part road trip as he seeks out old friends and reflects on his future. It’s observant, poignant and I suspect it’ll strike a chord with many. What happens in the empty nest home? The kids have gone and over a decade or two, relationships change. Will Tom and Amy have a future together? What are the ties that bind and how easy is it to break bonds? This is reflective without being claustrophobic and too introspective. Very well written and totally absorbing. Really enjoyed this.

"Nobody tells you what an intense experience loneliness is, how it has a lot of variations..."

Let me start by saying I didn't know what to expect from this book. A Jazzy cover, a title implying a romance, few reviews online for me to pre-empt a narrative. None of that mattered when I jumped in to this book.

Following the life of protagonist Tom as he drops his daughter at college and takes himself on a long trip across country meeting friends of old and strangers at basketball courts - this novel plunges straight into male mental health and what it's like getting by when there's nobody there who knows what's happening inside your head.

I freaking loved this book for how matter-of-fact and easy to read it was whilst simultaneously touching on deep topics and the tragedy of your life passing you by.

Highly recommended if you want to read something real and something that will resonate.

A bit of a slow start, but the light & easy writing style kept me reading till the end, so I would say high points for engagement.

Would have loved a bit more closure on a few side stories, but I have to live without.

Overall, enjoyable.

What struck me about this novel was the similarity, of narrative style, with Raymond Carver. I say that as a compliment, of course. And that style carries the reader through this quest type story, of Tom, whose wife, Amy has in the past had a affair, their son has left home, and their daughter is off to college. The question being asked, really, is what do you do when that happens - when you're left to live with the person who's betrayed you? There is another question running through this story, though, and that's Tom's illness, which other characters are concerned about, but he brushes off. As he travels alone, visiting old friends and his brother, and finally his son, there is a sense that he's reliving the past, perhaps even saying goodbye, and this adds to the mystery of his illness. In the end, we find out what's going on with him, and yes, the ending does ask the question, what will we do with the rest of our lives?

I'm tempted to say this is the best novel I've read this year, in fact, I'll say it. It really was the best novel I've read this year. Highly recommended. Many thanks to the publisher and to NetGalley for the ARC.

As he drives his daughter Miri the seven- hour trip to start college, Tom recalls the promise he made to himself twelve years ago when his wife had an affair, that he would leave her when his kids were up. So instead of returning home, he drives on with no clear plan in mind.
As his journey and stop-overs progress, some planned and others random, Tom looks back on his life and the reader becomes acquainted with this gentle, easy-going but complicated man.
He has spent years wrestling unsuccessfully with the whys and wherefores of his wife’s betrayal, trying to justify why it came about, mulling over how it has changedhis marriage even still and how things might have been different. With the added stress of unresolved health issues and Miri leaving for college, he tries to park them and live for the moment, in the car, eating fast food and shooting hoops when he comes across a court.
Even though that sounds unpromising, the strength of this lovely read, The Rest Of Our Lives, lies in it’s rhythm and flow. Despite the frustrations and flaws of the characters and uncertainties surrounding the ultimate destination, interesting conclusions are drawn along the way. Tom’s son’s girlfriend has some memorable ideas on the nature of healing, Tom reminds himself about the specialised branches of crazy and the journey continues to feel comfortable throughout.

When Tom’s wife cheats on him, he resolves to leave her once his youngest child leaves home. That time has now arrived as he drives his daughter Miri across America to university, then continues driving and decides to look up friends and family from his past. He is on the cusp of change in several ways, as he has been put on leave from his job as a law professor after students complained about him, and he has some persistent health issues which evryone tells him he should get checked out. This trip provides a turning point for what he really wants from the rest of his life. I enjoyed this book and found it quite thought provoking. The characters are flawed and not always easy to understand or even like, but this makes them realistic and believable. It highlights how life can throw curveballs at you and how things don’t always happen as you want or expect, but that there are compensations and surprises even late in life.

The Rest of Our Lives offers a unique insight into fifty-five year old Tom’s mid-life crisis after dropping his youngest daughter off at university. Tom is a flawed character whose views are insulting at times, however he feels more realistic because of this. The novel dives between the past and the present seamlessly and although not much time passes during this novel, you get to know the characters very well. However, the subplot about racism in basketball felt very random and weird. I think this book would be more impactful if I was older, as the experiences would be more relatable.

The Rest of Our Lives is a deceptively complex and layered account of a mid-life crisis, disguised as a road novel. Although it's a very American novel (and how you feel about that may influence your response to it), the road aspect does not seem that central. It's the insights, fears and confusions of Tom, the narrator, that grip you as a reader. As such, it's quite focused on the white middle-aged male experience, although the important female characters, such as Tom's wife, Amy, daughter, Miri, and former girlfriend, Jill, are also well drawn. Markovits is also good on the low key alienation Tom feels, as he struggles to come to terms with how the world is changing, signalled by the (slightly jarring) subplot about race in basketball. This is summed up in Tom's exasperated wish: "I just wanted to sit around and read books for the rest of my life". Many of us can empathise with tat. There are also plenty of pithy observations, like "Getting out of a hospital is like escaping the casino, they don't make it easy for you", which shows you how much Markovits packs into what is a fairly short novel. An impressive achievement - not sure about the cover though.

Billed appealingly as a road novel, The Rest of Our Lives follows fifty-five-year-old Tom Layward whose daughter is about to start college leaving an empty nest behind her and parents who are unsure of their own future after a long marriage over which an affair has cast a shadow. Tom’s health seems to be a concern to everyone, but his doctor and he’s been suspended from his professorship for his political stance, unbeknownst to his wife, Amy. After driving his daughter to Pittsburgh, he sets off on an odyssey not quite knowing where he’s going, talking to the version of Amy he once knew in his head as he drives while ignoring her messages.
We’re in classic mid-life crisis territory as Tom remembers his youth, wonders about resurrecting the idea he had for a novel, broods on Amy’s affair and what their future life together might be if there is to be one. He’s a man a little out of step with modern sensibilities, finding out-and-out racism repugnant but not quite understanding why lumping Japanese and Korean cuisines together into ‘Asian food’ might be considered insulting. The novel is brought to a close with the kind of event that might be expected in a middle-aged man. I enjoyed this one for its structure but I’m not sure I’ll be reading another book by Markovits.

The Rest of Our Lives by Ben Markovits

Tom drops his youngest daughter Miri off at university and just keeps driving, visiting various people along the way but with no real plan. But he can't run forever, he has to face up to his health issues and his wife, who had an affair 12 years ago and whom he intended to leave once Miri left home.

Loved this! I read it ahead of many others that are being published before it, mainly because my youngest has just left for university too. I absolutely loved it - the perfect mix of funny, poignant and thought-provoking. Very VERY highly recommended.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book.

Tom made a pact and he abides by it by having a literal trip down the memory lane.
The novel deals with important themes about getting older, health, memories, marriage, children via a road trip as the framework.
It was utterly touching and insightful.
3.5 stars. Though, I would like to read it again after Christmas, and when in the right mood, I think it will hit me differently, and I will be able to grasp some of the things Tom goes through related to his health and age a bit more. In other words, it is the kind of book that you can read at least twice and gain new insights the second time.

Such a great book that explores what else is out there and who am I? It shows it’s never to late to start over and find yourself