The long littleness of life, and the search to find meaning again 4.5

This is a beautifully written account of a middle-aged man’s loss and disappointment. Tom married Amy, a woman he felt was somewhat ‘out of his league’. They had two children, a son and a daughter. When the daughter, the youngest, was six, Amy had an affair. The couple have stayed together, ‘for the sake of the children’ superficially managing a kind of pedestrian harmony, but Tom has always said he would leave when his daughter turned 18.

The book begins on the eve of Miri about to go off to college. Mother and daughter have a difficult relationship, and Amy and Tom are now facing ‘empty nest syndrome’ and a relationship which is disappointing for both.

Tom is honourable, but has a certain passivity, a certain awareness of never quite having got where he wanted to get, nor a strong sense of where that might have been. At one point his dream had been to write a kind of road trip book about amateur basketball pitchers, a kind of view of America.

Somehow, without knowing quite how this happened, this begins, as he picks up the pieces of making contact with old friends, old colleagues, his own younger brother.

The book inhabits a melancholy place, tender and drifting, confused and yet with a kind of yearning of the heart, for something, the glimmer of enchantment and meaning. In some way I was reminded of Fournier’s Le Grand Meaulnes, that romantic desire for intense revelation and understanding, something gone.

This is a wonderful book, with a perfect ending which continues the unanswered questions, the lack of cut and dried resolutions which is the particular emotional tone of the book.

My only reason for that missing half star is that the basketball stuff was such a complete and incomprehensible foreign language to me, lacking that cultural connection or interest!

Tom is married to Amy and they have two children, Michael and Miri. When Miri was small Amy had an affair which Tom knew about. At the time he tells himself that he will leave when Miri goes to college. When Miri eventually goes Tom drives her there on his own and then instead of returning home to Amy he keeps on driving, staying at friends’ houses on the way until he gets to where Michael lives in California. I did not really enjoy this book. I felt it was just Tom’s thoughts with very little happening and I actually found it quite depressing. Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me an ARC of this book.

I have mixed feelings about this one (not necessarily a bad thing). The description was intriguing, the story clever, but the delivery missed the mark for me. It was slow to get into and from there I struggled to connect with any emotional impact. I did find it ended satisfyingly. Thanks Netgalley and the publisher.

It didn't live up to my expectations.
This book is effectively a monologuevoiced by Tom, who is married to Amy. When the youngest of their two children, Miriam, was six, he found out Amy had been having an affair. They remained together, but he secretly vowed that when Miri was old enough to move away from home, he would leave Amy. On the day that he was taking Miri to start at Univerity, he decided he wouldn't return home. Instead, he starts a drive across the US to visit his mother in California. On the way, he sees several people from his past and takes in some basketball games as he is a big fan of NBA. What becomes clear during his journey is that he is suffering from an illness that is progressively worsening that he has not told the family about.
I found the delivery in the book was very flat, with little change of pace and not much excitement. This surprised me as author Benjamin Markovits teaches creative writing at a London Univerity. Frankly, from this pedigree, I expected a lot more. At times, I was at a loss as to what he intended. Tom's vulnerability comes through throughout the story, and it does ellicit some sympathy.
This book isn't one for me, but I can see that the introspection it induces could appeal to some readers.

A very slow start. Set's up the history of the marriage and family dynamics.
Dropping his daughter off at university instead of returning home set's off on a road trip. No plans or destinations set but ends up visiting different parts of his life.
I didn't really connect with the book even though I know how the empty nest feels. It's more about connections and how they impact on life.
Well written and very eloquent

I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review! From reading the synopsis, I expected a lot more from this book. I thought the book would deal more with an actual separation and our main character finding their happiness again. I also wished it focused on the feeling of your children leaving when you get older. I also wish it didn’t focus on the main characters health. I felt this book could have been such a deep and emotional read but it just never got there for me.

I had high hopes for this book especially as some of the themes explored in the storyline resonated with me. Sadly, I just couldn't identify with the characters or get to grips with the storyline so I didn't finish reading it.

Ben Markovits is a new author to me, but the description of The Rest of Our Lives was instantly appealing, and the cover piqued my curiosity.

The story follows Tom, his wife Amy, and their children, exploring themes of marriage, friendship, aspirations, health, and mental wellbeing.

Throughout the story delves deep into the complexities of adult life, touching on infidelity, personal struggles, and the evolving relationships within a family.

Narrated entirely from Tom’s perspective, the story provides an intimate and unfiltered look into his thoughts and emotions.

I found this approach particularly engaging, as it allowed for a deeper connection with him as a character.

At times, I even caught myself questioning whether I would react to situations in the same way he did. This introspective style makes the story feel personal and immersive.

Tom and Amy, while not explicitly labelled as middle-aged, are at a stage in life where their children are becoming independent - one heading off to college, the other already grown.

Their marriage has weathered its fair share of ups and downs, and early on, it becomes clear that Tom may be facing a significant health issue.

Interestingly, while this aspect of the story is present throughout, it never dominates the narrative.

Instead, Markovits subtly weaves it in, allowing the reader to occasionally forget about it as other elements take centre stage.

Emotionally, this book had a strong impact on me.

As the story progressed, particularly in the final chapters, I found myself deeply invested in Tom’s fate, even speculating about his condition.

The novel is well-written, rich in detail, and effortless to read. The characters and their experiences feel authentic, making it easy to become absorbed in their world.

By the time I reached the final page, I was left wanting to know more - what comes next for Tom and his family? That lingering curiosity is a testament to how engaging and thought-provoking this novel is.

With thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a not-so-classic all-American road trip of both exterior and interior landscapes. Tom had decided to leave his wife (when she has an affair) after their daughter goes to college. We start the novel at that point - over a decade since the infidelity.

Tom drives his daughter, Miriam to college and then decides to visit various people - old friends, his brother, someone he knew at college, his father’s grave. He turns off his phone so his wife can’t call him, and then proceeds to have conversations with her in his head. As he navigates the American highways, he also navigates his past and contemplates his future.

He’s running from his problems in many ways: he’s been laid off temporarily from his lecturing job, as a result of a complaint, and he has his obvious health issues that he’s failed to address.

An incident brings everything into sharp focus and a conclusion to the novel which is open ended, with the possibility of hope.

An unusual exploration of love, marriage and relationships as we age.

Almost a coming of old age story as the everyday paths through aging, long-term marriage and failing health are explored. The trials and tribulations of the main character aren’t new but this is what makes the story relatable. A satisfyingly open conclusion..

The narrator (Tom) is in reflective mood ¨When our son was twelve years old, my wife had an affair with a guy called...¨ and so starts this funny-sad unexpected road novel (from the salubrious Scarsdale one hour from New York, to Los Angeles via Pittsburg, Las Vegas...) in which the narrator is trying to figure out ¨the rest of our lives¨ The title is apposite, its richness of meaning becoming progressively clear (I won't spoil the fun). We are hearing a rather dispassionate selective account of our Tom´s life - how his youth informed its development (its possibilities, delights, privileges; its failures, claustrophobias, compromises). In his mid fifties, our narrator is in silent crisis (relationships, work, health) and the story he tells, a monologue attentive to the voices of others, observant of his surroundings (American towns, sport, places, rooms described pithily), quite self aware he thinks yet blind spots abound. He is seeking an alter ego in all the old friends he visits, yet fails to find that interlocutor to whom to open his heart (great metaphor!) who would ease his ultimate bewilderment and deep loneliness. It is a character study which I found intriguing, entertaining and emotionally poignant and where writing style and narrator did convince me. Very much well worth reading.

To be fair, this isn’t my normal favourite genre of story. Whilst I was reading it, I was willing it to be finished. It’s not that it’s not well written but it just wasn’t for me. Having said that, I got to the end and it was a satisfactory ending.

The blurb for this sounded interesting so as I have never read anything by this author before, I was curious to read it , I did enjoy Tom’s journey into his past and wanted to see if you excuse the pun where it we as going to take him, as the story continued, it began to feel like his swan song and as the ending was left to the reader’s imagination as to what came next, , I hope that the next chapter in their story was a continuation of his self discovery.

A fast flowing read that makes you feel that the author is speaking to you. He takes you through how he coped with his wife's affair, staying as a family until their daughter goes to college. When he takes his daughter to her college he then drives off to connect with friends from his past. He is overlooking health issues throughout this time. He meets up with his son and then his health catches up with him.

I struggled a bit with this book, as it seemed rather rambling. It introduces a lot of characters and stories that don’t seem to contribute much to the plot line. It is very much a road trip type novel, which dips in and out of the past and present, as the main character, clearly at a crisis point in his life, tries to figure out what direction the rest of his life should take. It does introduce a number of relevant themes, which add to the reflective nature of the novel. It is very much about a middle aged man trying to come to terms with aging, with changes in the world around him and the future, or otherwise, of his marriage. However, towards the end, when the protagonist begins to discover more about his health issues, the writing becomes very powerful and moving. Is it the very thought of our own mortality that brings life into such strong focus? I found the ending very compelling and strangely uplifting, as if it is only when we are faced with major challenges that we begin to truly appreciate what we have and what we stand to lose. A powerful ending to a well written and thoughtful novel.

Tom is at a cross roads, children grown up, a marriage that is going through the motions, and there are serious health concerns in the background. He goes on a road trip to work things out and there's a lot of reality of how life is at this stage. I didn't fully connect with Tom or other characters but it's a different, thoughtful read.

This story follows Tom on his journey of self reflection, and what to do with his future.
Tom is married, has been for decades. He found out his wife had an affair and vowed to leave after their daughter left home.
Well, it’s now 12 years later, Tom has dropped his daughter as University and now is wondering what to do.
He starts driving and just keeps going, from coast to coast across America he drives.
Using this time for reflection & contemplation, we the reader are taken with him.
This is a thoughtful and thought provoking read. I think I was able to relate more being a parent myself, with 2 children at University. What does come next?
This isn’t a fast paced, thrilling read so if that’s what you’re into, I’d probably avoid this one.
But otherwise, I found it a well paced, enjoyable read, and would recommend it to certain friends/readers.

Tom has always told himself he would leave his wife when their youngest child left for College, after she had an affair twelve years earlier. The story is told through the thoughts of Tom, in the stream of consciousness style, and sees him take a long road trip after the college drop off. He visits old friends, his sibling and his son, and tells stories about each. The reader can see from the start that there is clearly a health issue that Tom is facing, and as the story progresses, more details are fed through Tom's thoughts.

The book wasn't what I thought it would be, I found it hard to focus on the story when it didn't feel like it had a lot of purpose. I liked getting to know Tom, but the other characters were all too fleeting to form any really impression of. Overall, not for me.

The Rest of Our Lives by Ben Markovits is a poignant exploration of aging and the intricate dance of long-term marriage. With nuanced prose, Markovits delves into the complexities of shared lives—sacrifices made, compromises reached, and the quiet regrets that accumulate over time. The novel captures the paradox of a life both deeply lived and yet tinged with a sense of what might have been, offering readers a compelling meditation on love, endurance, and the bittersweet beauty of a shared journey through life.

The Rest of our Lives by Ben Markovits is the story of Tom, who after dropping his eldest of at university, just keeps driving, meeting people along the way, with no plan. It sounds like it could be a meandering read, but Markovits imbues Tom with such warmth that it is very easy to warm to this novel and be dragged along for the ride. A fine novel which I breezed through in one read.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the ARC.