Interesting read, starting with the crop circle and progressing via boarding school, drugs and unusual deities. I felt that those who wanted a more conventional funeral might be dismissed but they certainly provide a different way of doing things.

I'm particularly fond of books about death and funeral industries so was excited to read this. Overall it was interesting but I felt the book lacked structure and flow, and the prologue had me rechecking I was reading the right book.

I was interested to explore more about behind-the-scenes of stewarding death and dismantling the capitalist predation of funeral spaces. Instead, I got a repetitive memoir-style rant in a very angry and judgemental voice that didn’t work for me at all. It’s a shame because there are some good talking points (destigmatizing conversations about death, open grieving, sustainability in death rituals, the power of choice and agency) that are easily lost in the palpable anger within these pages.

There’s a woo bent that features more heavily than I would expect in a book purportedly about death: drug use, ritual magic, occult, casting spells, mythology, crop circles, living ancestors… it starts really unravelling toward the end of the book as this stuff takes center stage. Maybe it’s because I’m 20 years younger or not British but a lot of the references to stuff like “acid house” and “KLF” went totally over my head (and there’s no attempt by the author to bring people who weren’t there along).
Callender’s privilege was so hard to stomach: blowing through £700,000 in the 90s on drugs and dodgy business ventures is absolutely appalling. The picture he painted of himself and his motivation (ego project vibes) throughout the book reduced his credibility for this reader (made worse by how unselfaware, defensive, and painfully self-congratulatory it is).

I would have liked to see more about exploring of different cultures’ death rituals, the psychology or science behind rituals and closure, and commentary about the environmental harm of burials, embalming, and commercialization of death. There are some ranty comments on capitalism and cherry-picked environmental comments but it was all disappointingly surface level and seemed to be based in the author’s opinion more than anything substantial. I also have doubts about some of the claims that the Callender was making about UK funerals (for example: vilifying pallbearers as paid goons. Aren’t they usually volunteers from the family?).

From a technical perspective, the book could have benefited from much tighter editing: the overall flow is clunky (what is the point of that prologue?!), the overall focus is unclear (an entire chapter where the focus shifts to obscure music?!), there are sections repeated verbatim across the book, the pacing is glacial, and the tone is so angry with a noticeable amount of insensitive language choices.

Death and grief are extremely personal and individual. I shudder to think of the harm that Callender may have caused by trying to rectify/seek closure for his own trauma through gatekeeping others’ grief journeys. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve a life and remember a human; the last thing folks going through this need to feel is shamed or judged about their comfort rituals. With that in mind, I can’t in good conscience recommend this book.

I was privileged to have my request to read this book accepted by Chelsea Green Publishing through NetGalley.

An interesting book about the work of a funeral director. I particularly liked hearing about how the couple worked with families to provide suitable funerals for young people and some of the challenges they face. It's a fascinating insight although maybe too much information in a couple of sections!

Did not expect this book to be the page-turner it was. I downloaded the ARC as soon as I saw I was approved for it and just wanted to take a peek at the first few pages, I did not just read the first few pages.

Yes, I am fascinated with death. I have always been this morbid, if that is the kind of word you want to label my fascination with. I've read several books by medical examiners, spiritual books about death and what may lie behind it, but never have I read a book written by an undertaker before. It was so interesting to read about why and how Rupert Callender became an undertaker. His, and his partner's journey, is as unique as they are and as unique as each of the funerals they have taken care of. I am in awe at how they established themselves and am honestly hoping I can find a similar service for when my time comes.

What Remains provides insight into the work of Rupert Callender — an unconventional undertaker with a unique approach to facilitating funerals. I have mixed feelings about the book. On the one hand, it was fascinating to learn about Rupert’s work. I particularly enjoyed the way he questioned some of the standard practices of the funeral industry - things we don’t seem to think too much about. On the other hand, it felt as though the book lacked structure and it was, at times, difficult to read and engage with. I would have liked a bit more depth in some areas and less in others. I also came away with the impression that the author thinks his way is the correct way to hold a funeral - and that more traditional funerals are wrong. Of course, death and grieving are deeply personal experiences - with no right or wrong way to do either. On the whole it was an interesting read, but it would be better with a few small changes.

What a fascinating and illuminating book. Behind the scenes of death and what happens in the business of funerals.
Grief and it's outpourings, how to help the family feel that they have made the right decisions for the person they love. For it not to be purely commercial but personal and ecological.
A very personal story but very relatable in many different ways.
Thank you for your honesty and dedication to the bereaved.