Thank you to The Experiment and NetGalley for an ARC of this book in return for my honest review.

Dr Kate Balestrieri (Kate) has provided an incredibly valuable book which is thorough and deeply compassionate. Kate’s underlying messaging is that the reader “is not broken” and invites us to pause and reapproach the way we view ourselves.

Obviously desire is explored however this book is so much more. It explores sexual trauma, both overt and covert methods including coercion. Kate digs into identity, self-concept, anger, intersectionality, burnout and shame.

I particularly enjoyed reading the section on cognitive dissonance and identity conflicts as well as the seesaw example of authenticity vs safe / inclusion and the balance of these two factors.

This book has case studies, lots of questions and dot points to overview main concepts.

I hope this incredible book is read far and wide, but especially by those who need to hear this messaging the most. I also hope that victims of abuse or those suffering sexual trauma gain access and can move towards healing and rekindling their desire by slowly stepping away from any feelings of brokenness and shame they may be holding.

Regardless, it is not necessary to have any existing trauma or such. I believe anyone who reads this will walk away feeling more knowledgeable, and engaged in either rekindling or maintaining their desir.e

Thank you for this ARC.

Well written and thought provoking. The author has total empathy with the readers. Highly recommended

Thank you for writing this book and the constant reminders throughout that I am not broken.

This is a well researched, well written "guide" to finding yourself and your sex drive. I shall take a lot of points away with me to work on and hopefully will get some of the old me back.

On one hand, "What Happened to My Sex Life?" doesn't offer any new information or suggestions that haven't be found in other self-help books on the topic, such as "Come As You Are"/"Come Together" by Emily Nagoski. Yet, what I appreciated about Kate Balestrieri's book was the inclusion of herself as a professional in the sex therapy field who is not immune to issues she helps her clients to deal with. Without making overblown promises, this book may give hope to those who are asking questions about the changes in their desire, giving easy to understand suggestions as well as actionable advice.

Still, what I liked the most, was the author's vulnerability to share her own experience with the partner. I really think that it's very beneficial to everyone, especially clients, when (s)experts decide to "come out" as people first, also facing very human challenges, despite having all the knowledge and the tools at hand.

After going through my own issues, being with the same man for almost 30 years, I really connected with this book. It’s not just about having sex but what is going on in your life to cause overthinking, stress, disconnect, etc. This book gives us time to pause and think about our lives, providing ways we can analyze our situation and possible ways to achieve intimacy with or without your partner. There are case studies in each chapter with examples to relate to and realize we are not alone in this path. It’s written in simple terms and ideas, it didn’t feel scientific or robotic, and let me know my feelings were/are valid. I was able to read an early copy and found it helpful so I’m leaving my honest review,

A useful guide to your or others’ sexualities with case studies and easy-to-understand/accessible explanations.
One of the aspects that differentiates it from similarly themed books is this accessibility and another aspect is the holistic approach.
Not only for those who are curious about their own sex lives (I know, ‘it’s one life’, but with guided reflection, certain explorations become more curious) but also wish to know how diverse a range we see in humans’ sex lives, sexualities, and how people experience changes in their sexual lives .

A very enlightening and helpful guide to identifying the circumstances which may affect intimacy in a relationship. Each chapter deals with a different issue which may or may not apply - chapters that don't resonate can be skipped over without affecting the relevance or usefulness of the rest of the book. A must-read for anyone experiencing this issue.

Thank you for accepting my request for this book, very informative thank you
Thank you for accepting my request for this book, very informative thank you

Amazing and brilliant book. I was hooked by the first page. This is a topic that is so taboo and brings up so much shame. There's a lot of pressure and expectation around this topic and I notice it's hard to feel safe bringing it up with others. It felt really liberating to see someone talk/write about it so freely and in a way that describes exactly what I am going through. It makes sense that this author has a lot of friends to talk to about this with since she is a sex therapist but I think for people who are not sex therapists or who are not in a particular community, this book will feel really validating and freeing for them. Highly recommend this book and glad that it was written!

What Happened to My Sex Life? : A Sex Therapist?s Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection, and Pleasure. This book is all about the reasons why we sometimes lose our sexual desire and connection with it, and what practical things we can do to re-kindle it. The biggest and most soothing message is "You are not Broken", and there are lots of positive things you can do. There is a lot of analysis and focus on the problems and multitude of reasons why this might happen, before the author addresses the practical things you can try to re-ignite your fire. A good read for anyone wanting to improve their sex life, either in a couple, or alone.

Dr. Kate Balestrieri offers a fresh, candid approach to rekindling lost passion and intimacy. This book is not your average how-to manual. It’s a compassionate companion for those who feel disconnected from their sexuality, providing actionable tools to explore desire on their own terms. From understanding internal barriers to cultivating the courage to communicate openly with partners, this guide is packed with practical wisdom for reclaiming pleasure and connection. Whether you’re grappling with mismatched libido, unresolved emotions, or simply seeking to reignite the spark, Balestrieri's blend of expert knowledge and approachable advice will empower you to discover new dimensions of sexual satisfaction and intimacy. Highly recommended for anyone looking to rediscover their sexual self and redefine what pleasure can truly mean.

Thoughtful reflections on things that might be holding an individual or couple back from enjoying their sexual relationship with each other. Fairly comprehensive for a relatively short book.

(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)