*4.5 Stars*

Cynthia So's sophomore book was such a good time. I really enjoyed all the food references. It made me soooooooooooo hungry. This was my favorite part honestly.
I also loved both the main character and their journeys with their family. I also found Auden's gender journey and aspec journey quite captivating and emotional.
Basically, this book was quite the little gem, especially for food lovers! But I can't lie, it fell shy, in my opinion, to the author's debut novel which I adored. But this was still extremely good and I cannot wait to read more Cynthia So books.

this was just amazing, i wish i'd had So's books when i was a teenager figuring things out (and i'm glad i have them now while i'm still figuring things out!). they set the bar high with If You Still Recognise Me, and absolutely did not disappoint with the stunning and lush writing style, especially with the descriptions of food. this book illuminated something i've always wanted to see in queer coming-of-age stories but have missed so far, which is still figuring things out and evolving after deciding on a label. i experienced so much vicarious joy seeing auden learn how they want to be and express themselves as a nonbinary person, and i've never had my experience of sexuality reflected so accurately than with auden's journey in this book. also t4t friendships!! and the cameos when auden was in oxford!!!
equally touching and emotional was valerie's story of processing and learning to live with her grief, and opening up to new love in her life. So created two distinct and complementary narrative voices that intertwined really beautifully, and they are an absolute tour-de-force in the YA genre.

I really enjoyed the way So explored grief in this YA contemporary novel – it felt three-dimensional and raw in a way that makes it feel that much more believable. As with their debut, the characterisation sparkled and Auden and Valerie leapt off the page for me. I also enjoyed the way food played such an integral part, as a way of bringing people together.

Before I begin my review, I would like to thank Net Galley for giving me the opportunity to review this book. Despite my rating there were aspects of the book that I had enjoyed, specifically the depictions of grief with the character Valerie who seemed more developed as a character compared to Auden. Something else that I did enjoy was the familial dynamics between Auden and their siblings.

I personally thought that Auden wasn't as fleshed out as they could've been considering it was meant to be representing LGBTQ themes, it felt that Auden's character was only centred around their label and not around any other things that could flesh them out further.

This book wasn't personally a favourite of mine but I hope that it can find others who love it!

First of all, thank you so much to NetGalley - this was, despite its rating, a wonderful read. If I was rating this book based purely on its writing, it would be an easy five star read. I adored the description, the feeling each scene gave me, the unique, lifelike quality to every page... but I didn't like the plot, its lack of direction and genre. It felt... lazy? Maybe a little entitled? Like the author wanted the characters and writing to speak for itself, which it just... didn't.

To put this in simple terms, I just wasn't compelled to read on. I'm not sure what it was that was meant to be driving the plot. Characters seemed to drift in and out, developed at random, nonsensical points, and until the thirty percent mark, I couldn't tell if it was going to be a coming-of-age book (which I think it should have been), or a romance. Auden's character was the strongest until, at about halfway, Valerie took centre-stage, and it felt like Auden's character only existed to supplement Valerie's.

I feel like maybe the author had too much creative control with this book, after the success of their first. It was beautifully written, but made simple mistakes I felt like some very sparse developmental editing could fix. Ivy's character? Irrelevant, until all of a sudden vital. Auden's mum? Her understandable confusion and hesitance to Auden's new identity was never really explored. Auden's view on grades, on university, on... life? It felt like they had no idea what on earth they wanted to do with their life, until they met Valerie, and then Valerie became their purpose.

I wasn't overly convinced by the ending, or by their chemistry. I would have probably loved this so much more if it was a story of platonic love.

The last thing I want to touch on has become a bit of a pet peeve in books, especially ones marketed as diverse or LGBTQ+. Sometimes, it feels like characters become... very little more than their identity. I felt that with Auden. Their brain was only really explored in the sense of their non-binary identity, with subsequent questions about their passions, interests, future goals and ideals kind of... brushed over. Valerie felt so fleshed-out compared to Auden, which was a real shame. My image of Auden is still sort of hazy, while Valerie feels so bright and colourful.

I'll definitely be reading Cynthia So's first novel, but this one didn't quite work for me.

Thank you to NetGalley and Little Tiger Group for approving my request to read an arc of this book

This book follows the joy of finding yourself and also the joy of food, and each character has a special connection to certain dishes as they remind them of cherished memories. There was so much amazing representation in this book. I loved the fat rep and the nonbinary, trans, bi, gay, and queer rep too. This book also deals with the journey of grief and healing.