An honest and emotional look into the experiences of Asian-America’ns. I learned a lot from this book.

Great essays. Joan Sung's book has been compared to Crying in H-Mart and I can see why, they're both wonderful book about the Korean-American identity and experience but I found Joan Sung a lot more political, or rather, deeper when it comes to being political. There's a lot about her mother too, and they were very touching chapters, and there's a lot about anti-Asian racism, how it meets racism against the Black community, the sometimes positive prejudice against Asian people in many Western countries. It was smart, well written, witty. I really enjoyed it.

Kinda Korean touched on so many aspects of being Asian American and always found its way back to the author's relationship with her mother/parents. Her story was inspiring in many ways.

A memoir from an Asian American woman about her struggles growing up in a U.S. immigrant family, grappling with generational trauma.

I’m an immigrant myself, raising my children in my adopted, and much-loved, country. Although we are white, and race is not an issue for us, nationality might be. It’s very interesting to read about other people’s experiences, especially from the second generation, as I often think about my own children and what they endure or might struggle with in the future.

I enjoyed the first third of the book very much. The stories were painful and real. I applaud the author’s bravery in speaking openly about her struggles and traumas. I understand the importance of speaking loudly about racism, sexism, stereotypes, cultural differences, and her experience as an army officer. These topics should be heard and talked about more.

Sadly, I related all too much to her experience of intrusive parental control. Her relationship with her parents and brother felt familiar to me, so I empathised with her anger, disappointment, and blame.

However, even for me, it was overwhelming at times. The constant blaming of others—particularly her mother—became uncomfortable to read. There was so much anger, negativity, and pessimism that I found myself irritated by the relentless attitude. Yes, I understand the pain, but the sky isn’t always dark. It didn’t feel like a fully balanced picture but rather a cherry-picking of the worst moments of her life. Her wounds seemed too fresh, too raw, and too painful still. I wanted to put a plaster over them.

I struggled to get through parts of the book, not only because of the overly negative tone but also because some stories felt repetitive and circular. More editorial refinement might have helped maintain reader engagement—enhancing some stories and cutting others. I rarely DNF books, but I seriously considered it halfway through. In the end, I decided to push through, and I’m glad I did.

By the final chapters, the author reached a meaningful realisation about her identity and culture. She let go of the rage and blame directed at her parents and society, finding peace within herself, her family, her life, her purpose. This shift lifted my overall opinion of the book.

CW: sexual assault

Where shall I begin? I’ve been on hiatus for a long while, barely reading anything last year. So it definitely takes a truly remarkable book to draw me back out of my non-reading shell. And Kinda Korean was the right book to come back into my life at the start of this new year.

Whenever I read a memoir, I struggle with how to rate it, let alone review it. This is someone’s story. Who am I to tell them if their story is “good” or not? Perhaps some people may think certain people’s lives are more worth chronicling, such as your favourite celebrity or a revered leader on the global stage, but don’t we also need to hear stories from the every day person? The kind of person that we can relate to?

This is what makes Joan’s story one that bowled me over in the best way possible, and I hope it’s one that does the same for many others out there. I’ll try to put all my thoughts down in a coherent way. This was not a book for my brain to simply appreciate; it was very much a book that saw into my heart.

I will first preface that I’m not Korean. But I don’t believe we have to be Korean, or even Asian, to feel for Joan. Written in a mostly chronological order and in short chapters catered around specific moments, it was a smooth read although I wouldn’t say it was an easy one. The majority of the story follows her from her youth, setting the scene as an Asian American child growing up in a space that always implicitly (or explicitly) said “you’re not one of us”. To make matters worse, identity can get even more confusing when among others who do look like you, there is still separation based on class and even the coveted double eyelid.

And then there is the matter of family. While my own Asian experiences were thankfully not as Joan experienced, I know well enough people who have had tiger moms. Reading her account of the miscommunication and deep divide between her and her mom was both riveting and heartbreaking. How intergenerational trauma led to years of self-destructive behaviours along with experiences I would never wish on anyone, I just wanted to hug the Joan that was in those pages and never let go.

Okay, so people may ask, what does this have to do with me? Why should I pick up this specific book out of all the ones out there?

My only answer? To understand the Asian diaspora experience more. Whether you are part of the Asian diaspora or not, this is a message for all of us to learn.

From the stereotypical fetishization of Asian women to feeling like we don’t belong anywhere, I learned so much within these pages. I highlighted SO many passages because there were so many things I wanted to return to again later. Not every moment had to be deeply personal to have connected with me. But I will say, as a Chinese Canadian reading this, I felt someone had finally worded some of the things embedded deep in my heart for the very first time, like it was okay to take it out of some dark recess and bring it up to the light to examine more closely.

In Western society, not too many people understand what it’s like to live as the Asian diaspora. I barely know if I’m living it right half the time. But perhaps, that is the beauty of the lesson in Joan’s story, the lesson she learned herself. There is no guidebook for being in this in-between space, therefore, can there be a right or wrong way to go about it with no model to follow? Instead of hiding the pains that are suffered in our strive for perfection, maybe it’s time for a bright light to shine on the dark side of Asian experiences so others may know. Maybe then, shocking events such as post-COVID hate on the Asian community can be better discussed and learned from. Was it really all of a sudden, as some people may have believed, or was it always bubbling just underneath the surface and finally crawling out into broad daylight?

There were so many lessons in Joan’s life that she learned and hence imparted on us as well through her story. So maybe it’s not in the big celebrity experiences alone we need to hear more of, but in the sharing of our everyday experiences that shape us for the better. I know I’ve been changed in some way from it.

This memoir beautifully captures the nuances of identity, family, and the intricate experience of being a second-generation Korean American woman. Sung’s storytelling shines as she navigates the tension between embracing her Korean roots and forging her identity in a different cultural landscape. Her journey of self-discovery, balancing cultural expectations, and finding her place is equal parts poignant and inspiring.

My husband, Andrew, and I read this book together, and it led to some profound conversations. While Andrew’s perspective is unique—having been adopted from Korea and raised in a different cultural context—he deeply connected with many of Joan’s experiences. The themes of belonging, navigating dual identities, and cultural reconciliation are universal, yet they hold a deeply personal resonance for anyone who has felt caught between worlds.
Kinda Korean reminded us of the power of heritage and the beauty in embracing every layer of who we are. It’s a must-read for anyone seeking to understand or celebrate the complexities of identity and culture.

If you ask Joan Sung to describe herself, she will say "Kinda Korean" hence the title of the book.

I love memoirs. Especially ones with someone who had a childhood very different from mine. Joan struggled with being considered too Asian at school and not Asian enough at home. She deals with tremendous pressure from her mom. As she moves through her school life, she finds herself feeling lost and struggles with drinking. The book also describes several incidents of sexual assault.

I feel for Joan and anyone else who has gone through sexual abuse. Especially in a society that blames the victim more than the abuser. If you are currently struggling with the effects of sexual abuse, I recommend preparing yourself before reading this or waiting until you are in a better place.

I love the title and the cover but I had a hard time getting through the book. Some of the writing felt disjointed to me and I had to force myself to finish it. I didn't think the writing was bad but maybe the way topics went back and forth didn't work for me as much.

Thank you to NetGalley, Joan Sung, and She Writes Press for the opportunity to read Kinda Korean. I have written this review voluntarily and honestly.

This novel is about a Korean-American girl's immigrant Tiger Mom, but it's about much more too that's just as, if not more, important. It's about growing up Asian in a society that "fetishizes" and "hypersexualizes" Asian woman. The writer discusses being assaulted so many times and "brainwashed" to believe that you should live in shame for who you are.

I found the memoir enlightening about experiences and challenges faced by triple threats - having immigrant parents, being Asian, and being an Asian woman. To be made to feel that "being different" is always a bad thing. It was interesting that even a positive for Asians, being considered studious and hardworking, could be turned into a stereotype that implied that Asians could not experience racial discrimination.

The honest and forthright stories are compelling, amazing, and disturbing. It's good that so many Asian women are finally speaking up, writing books, memoirs, histories that tell their stories and show their points of view and experiences.

I would encourage all readers to read this book, to understand in more depth the immigrant experience in the U.S., which may be similar to those in other countries as well.

Kinda Korean by Dr. Joan Sung is a lesson in self discovery and acceptance, in addition to intersectionality, as a Korean American daughter of immigrant parents. Sung demonstrates how, throughout her life and across various settings, she is othered - used as and assumed to fit a stereotype when it benefits those in privileged positions, and dismissed, discriminated against, and silenced when she doesn’t meet expectations. The common thread in her stories is the questioning of her own identity and not being welcome or “enough” in any space.

As a woman, there are plenty of things to relate to throughout her stories, including her experiences with sexual assault and harassment, the impact of generational trauma, career obstacles, and being a mother to a biracial child.

As an Asian American, she was subjected to the model minority myth starting at a young age. This, at times, elevated her above other POC when her identity was being weaponized against them, yet still kept her excluded from white spaces, making it easier to deny her experiences with racism (even amidst, for example, the dramatic increase in violence against Asian Americans in relation to COVID).

As a Korean American with immigrant parents, she grappled with being born and raised in the US, yet not being welcomed or represented in American culture. Too close yet too removed from her family’s culture, she also didn’t gain a sense of comfort in other Korean Americans either - not feeling like she measured up in terms of Korean language fluency or economic status amongst her peers, let alone criticism she received from her immediate family.

On top of it, each piece of Sung’s identity is inseparable from another, and you feel the weight of these intersecting forms of discrimination adding up throughout her stories.

Despite tackling such heavy topics, Kinda Korean is a book I breezed through and found to be an easy, engaging read. It is ultimately a collection of stories that demonstrates how one can grow to feel secure in herself and embrace the in-betweens of identity, despite living in a world where she is constantly confronted with a societally-constructed box that she doesn’t fit neatly in. This is a book I would recommend to everyone.

Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the ARC of this book!

Although it feels weird to rate someone's memoir, I will heartily give this 5 stars because it told Sung's story thus far in a compelling way without being overwrought, and the style itself was appealing and easily digestible. I felt invited into her world and ever-evolving viewpoints and perspectives, and those also came across as genuine. She didn't give the impression that she had it all figured out, but instead showed areas of ambivalence, confusion, frustration, and all the stuff that we often perceive as negative when it can be a necessary part of our growth and development as human beings in relation to one another.

Kinda Korean by Joan Sung is a heartfelt memoir about the complexities of being Korean-American. While it shares similarities with Crying in H Mart, Sung’s narrative is more intense and dramatic, offering a deeper look into family dynamics and identity struggles. A solid read for those interested in personal stories of cultural conflict and self-discovery.

"Umma, we're American! This is the American way!" I exclaimed. "You are Korean! I am Korean! It is Korea in this house!" she shot back. Like many other moments before this, I felt torn between the demands of two worlds."

I've been on a memoir kick, and I typically love immigrant memoirs. This one starts off strong and half way through the book becomes too detailed, too repetitive, and loses steam. I rushed through the last quarter. Joan Sung's story of being born to Korean parents with a difficult past is a hard one. She grows up with (as she calls it), a "Tiger Mom," who is cold, abusive and distant, and a father who lives in her mother's shadow. They pass their generational trauma on to Joan, who struggles to get away, losing herself to alcohol and other acts that seem to allow her control over her own life. This includes joining the Air Force after college. Once she becomes a mother herself (to a biracial child), she begins to understand her mother somewhat more.

While there is a lot of commentary in this memoir about being Asian American that is moving and important, I feel that this book needed further editing. It is simply too much like a lot of other books of this genre and doesn't stand on its own.

Provides an intimate glimpse into the life of a daughter of Korean immigrants in the U.S.
Through a collection of short stories, Sung portrays the challenges and traumas of her upbringing, with a particular focus on her relationship with her Tiger Mom.
The book offers an insightful look into cultural identity.
Kinda Korean delivers both personal and cultural stories that are bound to leave a lasting impression.
Although the stories are not presented chronologically, they come together to form a powerful a powerful narrative.
The book addresses heavy themes such as sexual assault, racism and parental physical violence, yet it remains accessible and easy to read.
Sung’s interactions with her mother added further depth to the narrative.
One of the most interesting stories I've read in a long time and a nice change to read something non fiction.

i love cultural stories and reading other people's pov from all over the world. this memoir was written beautifully & it was super relatable.

was i confused at times? yes, because they were written and divided into short stories explaining different issues she has growing up with immigrant parents and the trauma she has to faced growing up that went on for years and years.

i found myself moved by her unflinchingly honest yet tender portrayals of her mother, which by the way is a Tiger Mom. the author dives into the good, the bad, and the ugly when talking about her mother, which is what makes the book so compelling. I think anyone who has a lady bird kind of relationship with their mom could identify with the highs and lows between Joan and her mother. and while touching on broad themes of mother-daughter bonds & generational trauma, she remains committed to her own story without making any broad generalizations about culture.

i loved this. her story was very inspiring. i laughed, cry and was angry at times because i just wanted to save her. this was a very eye opening biography. definitely a must read.

thank you @shewritespress for an early copy.
this book comes out in Feb. 25 2025.

[tg: SA, verbal abuse, physical abuse, rape]

Kinda Korean is a mesmerising memoir that is deeply upsetting, insightful, and is an incredible exploration, or more appropriately, a revelation of cultural identity, family relationships, racism and misogyny. Sung writes her memoir in a way that pulls at your heart strings, whilst dampening the pain with humour.

Sung shares her experience of the discrimination and racism she experienced as an Asian American of immigrant parents from Korea, with a ‘tiger mum’ who expected her to be ‘the perfect, obedient Korean daughter’, and who felt ‘too Asian in my American community, yet too American living in my own house’.

As Sung navigates her own existence through her youth, she is honest in her naivety when it comes to steering her own experiences of alcoholism and as a victim of assault, and has incredible insight into the stereotyping and fetishising of herself and other Asian women, ‘I could never distinguish when white men were interested in me just for sex, to fulfil some exotic sexual fantasy or if they were genuinely interested in getting to know me better’, and ‘we Asian women were expendable because we are not people; we are objects for white men’s sexual objectification and desires’.

Sung has paced her memoir wonderfully as she goes through her schooling years, enters the Airforce and retrains to be a teacher, with chapter headings that really encapsulate the topic with an almost rhythmic transition from one chapter to another. Sung has written an immensely important piece of non-fiction which is not only a must-read for every Asian-American who is seeking to figure out their identity, but for everyone, regardless of race and gender, as we are all witnesses to the topics Sung highlights, directly or indirectly.

I am so grateful to have received the opportunity to read this riveting advanced copy from She Writes Press (via NetGalley).

At first, this book will be compared to Crying in H Mart, but the two differ for me on many levels. Yes, it is about a young Korean American who has problems with her mother and a rebellious streak, but the similarities end here. Kinda Korean has a little more Trainspotting and SA and is written as a series of events in the author's life that shaped her in some way. I know that’s a lot of what an autobiography is, but this one felt more choppy, almost as if the chapters could stand alone.
Kinda Korean touches on many hard subjects from someone who has dealt with and continues to deal with them. The idea of not being American enough that many POC face, along with the intense pressure to assimilate combined with the pull to stay connected with one’s culture. The microaggressions Asian American women face on a daily basis and internalization of intergenerational and societal trauma in a way that kept me interested and able to read, even when she was discussing very difficult topics. Alcohol addiction, abuse, assault, suicide, and trauma are all explored within the pages of this novel.
I found Kinda Korean to be very relatable and written in a way that makes it approachable. Joan Sung's story is unique, but it shares many similarities with the stories of Asian Americans.

This book is pretty much everything I thought it would be, and I adore that.

This book very clearly outlines a demographic of people that aren't necessarily addressed as often as they should be. This book addresses in a brutally honest and transparent way what it is like to be Asian American, having two cultures but also none. It does a beautiful job of explaining how racism has a double edge for Asian Americans, and how it looks different than that of racism towards other races. It is a great representation of how women are treated poorly in male dominated spaces, or really any spaces at all. All of these things made complete sense how Sung explained them, and in the examples from their life.

The one that got me in this book was raising a biracial child. I have a biracial child, and I felt so much of that portion in my soul. And I think I learned ways for me to handle that responsibility from this book, which I will always appreciate.

It feels a bit like it was written out of order, some things are explained (almost in the exact same phrasing) multiple times, which is what makes me feel like it is a bit disjointed, but maybe it's also just to keep saying it, to really get it into the readers head.

I would definitely recommend this book. No questions asked.

Definitely recommended for readers who have an interest in cultural stories and memoirs, especially if you enjoyed Crying in H Mart.

A memoir of a daughter of Korean immigrants in the US, it is a collection of stories explaining different issues she had to face growing up and all the trauma induced throughout the years. I enjoyed it, even though the writing wasn't the greatest for me at times and some of the stories could have been explained differently. If you enjoyed Crying in H Mart, you will enjoy this.

I requested this book purely because it had the word Korean in the title so I didn’t really know what to expect but I really enjoyed it. A kind of memoir of short stories. Just fabulous.