Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

My first five star read of 2025! I adored this book so much, I’m not quite sure where to begin —unique world-building, compelling character arcs, and a romance that took my breath away.

For over a century, a devastating war has ravaged Europe between demons and humanity. When a foot solider that has hidden secrets, and an exorcist that wishes to uncover them cross paths, they set out to discover the secrets hidden within the Vatican City. As they unravel the mysteries surrounding his past, their growing feelings for each other become undeniable.

This book had me hooked after the first couple of chapters and it did not disappoint. The world-building was rich and immersive without being overwhelming, and it unfolded at a perfect pace, mixed in with great character dynamics. The story also features a delightful take on the grumpy x sunshine trope, with the FMC Selene, who is cold and guarded, vs the MMC Jules who is the charismatic charmer. Their chemistry was electric from the start, and the dual POV offered a wonderful opportunity to experience their evolving relationship from both sides.

Main Tropes:
🗡️ Forced Proximity
🗡️One Bed
🗡️Fake Engagement
🗡️Enemies to Lovers
🗡️Knife to Throat
🗡️Forbidden Romance

This incredible story follows Selene, a high-ranking exorcist trained at the prestigious Vatican Academy, who is on a mission to hunt down demons. When she crosses paths with Jules, a foot soldier hiding secrets, her immediate distrust shifts to curiosity, and she becomes determined to uncover the truth about him. However, once inside Vatican City, Selene discovers that there are far more secrets than just Jules’s to unravel.

A forbidden romance, hidden secrets, and the difficult choice between love and duty—will love truly conquer all?

RELEASE DATE: 23rd January 2025

Special thank you to Penguin Random House UK, for providing me with this ARC via NetGalley. (Also received a copy at YALC where I won this arc as a prize.)

A very solid 3.5 stars!

My favourite part of this book had to be the two main characters— Selene and Jules.

While brilliant to read together, when separated in the story they hold up on their own. Their interactions with side characters and in their own inner reflections are compelling and interesting, only amplified together.

The banter between them was so much fun to read, especially with Selene being the more serious of the two. Their dynamic was very much black cat/golden retriever. It is not an enemies to lovers, more just “you inconvenience me but you’re attractive” which works, but don’t go into it expecting a true enemies - lovers.

When you first start, you’re immediately thrown into intense action and a lot of information all at once. I found myself struggling to understand the world for around the first 30%, the magic was a little lost on me and how it was used with weapons etc. but the war between demons and mankind was an interesting storyline. The plot kept me really hooked despite feeling a little lost at times.

This definitely scratched that upper-YA itch that really reminded me of books I devoured and loved when I was younger. I look forward to seeing what happens next!

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an early copy of the e-ARC! ⭐️

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for granting me an arc of this book! This was my first Sophie and I had a good time with it, I really liked Selene and jules and the enemies to lovers vibes of their relationship. I really liked the Roman vibes of the world I think it really worked well. It felt a lot darker for a YA so I would say it’s very much new adult. I will say sometimes there was a lot of characters to keep track off so I will reread it physically and I think it will stick with me more but overall I had a good time it was also a very quick read for me and once you are on you don’t want to put it down.
4 stars!

3 ★'s

great concept but poorly executed. the author has potential but needs to work on improving the writing style and world building. this book was very confusing and hard to follow at times. i did really like the characters and the romance was cute. i also want to mention that this is listed as YA but it reads like adult/new adult - lots of cursing and open door spice.

Immersive and fantastical with great worldbuilding and a bit of spice. It completely swept me away, and I'm excited to see what Sophie Clark writes next.

Cruel is the Light is following two main characters from their POVs, Selene and Jules. The book opens right in the action for both of these characters which gripped me instantly.

The setting for this book is very interesting since it is in our world but with the existence of magic and demons and this has a huge impact on how everything runs. We are mainly based in Rome but also get to see some other parts of Europe too.

I enjoyed the characters in this and thought there were some really great side characters that I'd love to see more of in future.

Thank you to Penguin and Netgalley for this eARC to review.

3.5*

An exceptional entry in the fantasy genre, this novel captivates from the very first page. The narrative plunges readers headfirst into relentless action, seamlessly maintaining a gripping pace that compels you to keep turning the pages. The writing is sharp and immersive, skillfully balancing intensity with moments of introspection.

The world-building is masterfully constructed, offering a rich and intricate setting that feels both expansive and authentic. Paired with well-developed characters, whose motivations and growth resonate deeply, the story becomes all the more compelling.

I devoured this book in a single day, a testament to its ability to engross and enthrall. This is a remarkable work of fantasy, and I eagerly anticipate exploring more from this talented author.

You are quite literally thrown straight into the action from the very start of this book, and whilst that was an instant hook it was also slightly disorientating trying to figure out who characters are and how the world is developed with a dystopian Earth with demons and God in the Vatican city.

The main reason for the lower rating was the fact that this is written in the 3rd person but with 2 POVs and at times it was confusing trying to figure out which POV you were in.

Cruel is the Light:

"𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 - 𝑱𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚. 𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅."

Set in a unique and enthralling fantasy world, Cruel is the light is a beautifully written romantasy by @sophieclark, that takes place in the heart of Italy, Rome.

In a world of a centuries long war between humans and demons, Selene Alleva is the most famous demon hunter and her mission is, to protect Rome and the Vatican from the outside threat of the demons.
Although after meeting the charming french Jules Lacroix, a foot soldier who fought at the front and now deserter, Selene starts to doubt everything she was raised to believe and together they uncover the intrigue and corruption of the world they’re set to live in.
This action packed story had me in it‘s grip from the very beginning!
Mind bowing plot twist kept me on my toes throughout the whole book and kept me glued to the pages.
The world building is grandiosely detailed and I literally had the feeling to be walking the streets of Rome alongside Selene and Jules.
Phrases in italian and french language add to this beautiful charm of the european culture.

Selene, as the Butcher of Rome is strong, fierce and powerful. Showing feelings has been something she has avoided ever since she was a small child. But with the heartening side of Jules, turning her world upside down, he touches her heart and soul and Selene‘s cold side begins to melt away.
The unfolding romance between the two characters is chefs kiss enemies-to-lovers and presents a magnificent love story, that I can‘t get enough of!

Altogether, I had an amazing time immersing into the story and getting swept away by Selene and Jules thrilling adventures.
Thank you so much to @Netgalley and @sophieclark from providing this ARC.

This was an amazing start to a series and I am gagging for more. The Rome setting was amazing. The premise had me hooked. Such a fun and exciting read.

Cruel is the Light is an epic new fantasy debut set in a dark and gritty Vatican City, featuring a slow-burn forbidden romance between Selene, a fierce demon hunter, and Jules, a loyal foot soldier, as they navigate the high stakes of a centuries-old war.

The worldbuilding is elaborate and masterfully done, with intricate details that bring the story to life without ever feeling overwhelming. Clark sets the scene with precision, painting a brooding, atmospheric Vatican City that perfectly complements the tone of the book. From the very first page, you’re thrown straight into the action, and the fast-paced, heart-pounding fight scenes are written so well that they’re as gripping as they are easy to follow. While the balance of action and story felt a little tilted towards action early on, it evened out beautifully as the novel progressed.

The characters completely stole my heart, especially Jules, Selene, and Sparrow. Clark has written them with such distinct personalities that you can’t help but root for them all. Jules, in particular, is the ultimate golden retriever, and I absolutely adored the "reverse" grumpy x sunshine dynamic with Selene - it’s done to perfection! I hope we see more of Sparrow, as I found his character so alluring and intriguing.

For me, this book would sit better in the adult genre, particularly as there is some spice. I also think that this would have allowed more freedom for some of the subtleties and nuances of the story to be explored further.

Overall, this is an incredible and unique debut filled with brilliant worldbuilding, an intriguing magic system, and unforgettable characters. If you’re a fan of high-stakes fantasy with a touch of romance, this one’s an absolute must-read!

I really enjoyed this book and I felt it was really easy to give it 5 stars. I feel like the author created a really unique world and I loved the lore and the systems she created as well, all neatly wrapped up in descriptive, and immersive writing.

I normally struggle with modern fantasy but I feel like this was the best book I’ve read where there is that modern twist on fantasy, and I loved that the book was based in Rome.

There were plenty of interesting characters and I liked that actually it was a YA, and clearly aimed at YA as opposed to being heavy on sexual language and themes. I think the romance was done well and I also enjoyed the friendships the book had in it.

Sadly I didn’t love this book which shocks me as I can usually read a book and eventually get into it but I just couldn’t get into this book. There’s characters popping up left and right and I felt they weren’t properly explained who they were/what they stood for so when their name was mentioned it wasn’t very clear.

Fans of Shadowhunters, you’ll want to get this! Demon hunting exorcists!!

I think this book is so unique. The setting is a new one for me, being set in Rome, in Vatican City! The author did a great job of describing the setting that I was able to picture it so clearly.

My favorite part though, is 100% the characters. Selene and Jules are WONDERFUL, beautifully written characters and I love them so much. I think she has made 2 very lovable characters that make you root for them so easily. Their banter is simply a wonderful thing to read and I loved every moment of it!! And Sparrow! I loved him so much, he was an amazing side character!!

✨fake dating
✨forbidden love
✨demon hunters
✨banter!!!!
✨dual POV

Overall, this book was so good. I highly recommend it for romantasy fans. Definitely fans of Shadowhunters, Serpent & Dove, and Divine Rivals. It combines the action of Shadowhunters/Serpent & Dove an adds in the softness of Divine Rivals. Along with the most beautiful cover, this book will definitely be a favorite this year!

2.5 ⭐️

“A brutal war between demons & humanity has raged across Europe for a century. Selene Alleve, a powerful exorcist and Jules Lacroix, a foot soldier, unrivalled in battle”.

I’m sooo gutted I didn’t enjoy this ARC 😭 this was one of my most anticipated reads of 2025!

The main reason I struggled was because the book starts off with a lot of action & introduction of many characters! It just made the storyline seem all over the place. The world building was just not working out for me. I liked the chemistry between Jules and Selene, but I wish we got to see more romance.

Thank you NetGalley & Penguin for giving me this ARC for my honest review.

What a good start for my first fantasy book of 2025! This felt like if you mashed together the demon-slayer anime, with steam punk elements, a twisted Christianity (exorcist nuns with guns!?), and chuck in world war 1. I loved it. The setting of The Vatican, Rome & France was such a treat.

We are quite literally thrown into the action on two different battle fronts in the first chapter, but it was easy to follow without losing track of the new characters and the developing plot. The author feeds us just enough plot with the drama that I couldn't stop reading, and I quickly came to love both POV characters. Selene is tough, and a dogmatic in her thinking at the start, but she has just enough softness that it kept her likable. I just adored Jules. His story unveiled at a believable pace, and I'm glad he wasn't too stupid or ignorant of the clues that were presented to him (a lot of characters seem unbelievably naive in YA, but I didn't feel like Jules was).

At around the 40% mark I was worried that we were just going to have solid action and little character development the whole way through, but then lo and behold the characters were literally forced to slow down and get to know each other, and it was perfect. The fake dating scenario made sense given the context, and Jules & Selene actually had sizzling chemistry.

The side characters were also great - Sparrow was delicious, Kian was my boy (;-;) and I want a whole book about what Catarina and Lucia got up to when they weren't in the Vatican.

The mysteries - those that the characters knew and were keeping from me, and the ones that the characters were uncovering meant I couldn't put it down and I finished it in less than 24 hours. The end was satisfying but left enough unanswered questions that there is definitely merit in a sequel, which I now cannot wait for!

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House UK for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

To sum this book up: Author has good ideas but lacks control over their craft.

It's very telling to see Sophie Clark was mentored by Emily Thiede, because this book has very similar strengths and weaknesses as This Vicious Grace. The characters, esp. the leading couple and the romance are the strengths, the plot and the worldbuilding are the weaknesses.

Before we get to the nitty gritty, I must admit I'm surprised this is published as YA. It felt more like new adult to me. First, because everyone smokes, drinks and swears with f-words etc. Second, because the sex is open door (spice lvl 3 by the romance.io scale). Third, because there's quite an amount of death, mutilation and gore. It's not as graphic as grimdark fantasy, but there's a lot of bloody stuff going around. And fourth and most important, because the leads behave like life-weary cynical veterans, which they are, but it also makes them feel more mature than the 18 and 19 years olds they are. They're also surprisingly sensible, which I consider a plus (overall as I mentioned the characters are the strong point), they aren't typical YA characters who get furious over minor things or can't communicate for no reason or display "too stupid to live" attitudes.

Now to the book itself, let's start with weaknesses:

1. Writing style.

It's 3rd person double pov however in many cases I had trouble discerning whose pov are we in at any given moment, it felt like it would sometimes switch even without a scene break. The dialogues had the same issue - sometimes I had to re-read a page and still wouldn't be sure who said what. It could get confusing at a time and wasn't obvious from context. Add to this a tendency to have action tags referring to the person who isn't speaking right now in line with a dialogue of another person (without a paragraph split).

There were also some really cringy turns of phrase like "puppy fat of youth". Or Jules and Kian calling each other "boyo". Felt really out of place.

2. Worldbuilding.

A lot of things were left unexplained. For example, we learn fairly early that Selene has some runes etched into her bones and that allows her to wield magic. How were this runes placed into her bones? We never learn. We learn she's "special" because she's the only Exorcist having that property, and we learn later a bit more where her power comes from, but how it was "crafted" onto her, we never find out.

We never get a clear idea what year are we in, even though it's our world alternate history. There are guns and steam trains and analog telephones but apparently that's because demons disrupt electricity? Huh? Also at some point we're told they disrupt telephones too but characters keep using telephones anyway, so how does that work?

At some point Selene reads her father's diary where are latin numbers I would assume correspond to a year and it's something like 2005 and 2012 so it happens in 21st century? But the tech is more steampunk-ish level. Also why is there Czechoslovakia? There's no Czechoslovakia in 21st century. And if we say the alternate history changed the course of development of countries, and the demon war is lasting some 200 years or so, then there would be still Austria-Hungary on the map.

Oh, and the ARC had no map, which hopefully in the final version will make the whole alternate map of Europe less confusing.

Also there's no Russia, there's "Caspian Federation" but somehow the border where the war happens is in Ostrava, so Poland is a part of this faux-Russia?

Oh, and the Caspian leader is Anastasia... THAT Anastasia? She's called Anastasia Alexandrova Romanov while the historical famous Anastasia is called Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova. Is it the same person or just "wink wink" to the reader?

To be honest, at this point I feel worldbuilding is just vibes, and shortly after we leave Ostrava and France the rest of the story all happens in one place (Vatican) so it could have been a secondary world fantasy and there would be fewer hanging questions how all of this is supposed to make sense.

There's one point where this being our world wins, using phrases like French door or Glasgow smile. Because I ranted about "French door" in This Vicious Grace before, that is a secondary world fantasy, so it made no sense there.

Also this happens early in the story, but Jules runs from the front in Ostrava and somehow already in Paris and Nice everyone knows he's a deserter? How does news travel so fast without modern technology? When did they have time to print and plaster all those posters around? And is he the only deserter ever so there's big chase after him but not anyone else? Oh, but when he finally arrives to Rome / Vatican, no posters there! Nobody knows who he is except one guy who personally met him in Ostrava!

Overall, lots of things don't make sense and are stuffed there so the plot would happen.

3. Narration / pacing.

One big problem I've seen is that there are things hinted early especially hard but then we get a big "reveal" as a surprise even though we've already known that for ages.

There are especially 2 reveals of that kind: who is Jules - even though Anastasia tells him very early something that reveals half the secret. And who is the "immortal God", they find it around 40% in Selene's father diary, but hey, let's pretend it's not obvious for half a book later... Let's just say I was very unsurprised.

Also making it a "secret" undercuts the big enemies to lovers selling point, because Exorcist x foot soldier doesn't sound nearly as tension-filled as well... you can guess what's the best "foil" to an Exorcist here...

I feel the characters often barely reacted to what should be life-changing reveals to them? It reminded me of that meme "oh no! anyway..."

Second problem is trying to stuff all the "tik tok romantasy tropes": fake dating, fake identity, one bed, masquerade ball, knife to the throat, wet shirt bonus scene, bandaging wounds, sparring / duelling and kissing, drunken confessions / question game, reverse grumpy & sunshine banter, etc.

Some of them are implanted seamlessly, but some feel like excessive padding. I was truly bored reading how many times they were "stealing kisses" from each other. Sometimes less is more and quality over quantity.

I get that "tik tok tropes" sell but it leads to "20 tropes in a trenchcoat" syndrome and some of these repetitive / filler scenes could have been pruned.

Also I'm not sure why Jules kept flip flopping between being a scarred, traumatized, grief-stricken war veteran and playing sunshine to Selene's grumpy. It felt out of character for him, he wasn't presented as a carefree funny guy and then was shoehorned into that role.

Finally, the book opens with many "throwaway" characters being killed in the first 2 chapters and it was a bit confusing trying to remember them from the get go.

Now, the good stuff:

1. The characters.

Selene imo really carried the book. She's not a typical YA heroine who's unassuming but suddenly finds she's special and only wants to do the right thing... Nope. Selene is flawed. She's a zealot. She's a product of her upbringing that brainwashed her. She can be brutal. She knows she was forged to be a weapon against demons (even though it's not fully explained how) and she knows the expectations tied to it. When she meets Jules, we have the obligatory "he's so handsome" moment but overall he piques more of her interest once he proves he can survive against demon attacks no ordinary human could, therefore might be an asset in the war. Even though this is "enemies to lovers" she never hated him for no reason and was pragmatic about the whole endeavour.

Jules was okay. I liked the scene between him and Sparrow that revealed Jules as bisexual, because we don't often get that in MF romance. Jules wasn't some toxic a-hole and even though he suffered a lot, he didn't fall into tortured brooding archetype.

Lucia and Catalina reminded me of battle nuns from the Hellsing manga. Elliot seems like a cool guy and shame we didn't see more of him. Sparrow and Kian were interesting additions bringing some levity to the table. The antagonists were well suited for their roles - from mysterious and respect worthy to utterly loathsome.

2. The romance.

I thought it was pretty sweet and supportive despite all the reasons mcs couldn't trust each other from the get go. There was a lot of teasing and banter. And kissing. So much kissing. That's probably a plus for some. There was one open door sex scene which was, unfortunately, stereotypical.

But I enjoyed the developments and how it was non-toxic and none of that "I hate him so much but can't resist him", they were both fairly pragmatic about it but also started to care about one another, it wasn't just lust-driven.

I feel their bonding over past regrets, grief over dead people close to them, and their roles as the "best" of their respective units made a lot of sense. I often wonder what does even connect romantic leads in books, but here it was never a doubt they would understand each other.

3. The wrap-up.

I was worried diving into "first in a duology" that we'll have typical "1st in a series" issues like cliffhanger ending or unresolved romance plot. Wasn't the case. There is an open door for the sequel, but there is also a complete narrative arc in this book.

I just really really hope the author won't use one of the cheap tricks for book 2 in a series where book 1 ends with HFN, i.e. either forced split of romantic leads and separate sub-plots, or random love triangle with a new 3rd wheel.

While the story could go anywhere from here, it's a satisfactory read as is.

Overall, I would recommend this for readers of upper YA / NA fantasy with romance focus who want to see mature-behaving characters in non-toxic enemies to lovers situation, and people who enjoy strong female protagonists who are stoic, pragmatic, a little cynical and possibly even cold-blooded in attitude.

I hope the flaws in the writing style and undercutting its own reveals with early foreshadowing are just debut growing pains and the author will develop in the future.

Overall it felt like a diamond in the rough, good ideas and enjoyable experience, but could have used another round of polish. A solid 4 star.

Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Random House UK Children's for the ARC!

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for giving me an earc for review.

I dnf’d this at 20% as I really could not get into this book in the slightest.

The book starts with you quite literally being thrown into all the action which can be quite overwhelming when you’re having random characters thrown at you as well as extensive world building and politics which can be really hard to grasp.

What made it even harder is that you follow two POV’s but there’s not a great indicator in the chapters as to which character you’re now following which makes it a bit harder to understand.

All of these combined, I just couldn’t get into it which I find a real shame but maybe I will try this again later in the year.

What to expect?

😈Demons
❤️ Fake Dating
🥰A new book boyfriend
⚔️Baddass FMC
💜High Stakes
❌Forbidden Romance
🏛️Rome Setting

Set against the backdrop of a centuries-old war between demons and the Vatican, the story follows Selene, a high-ranking demon exorcist, and Jules Lacroix, a skilled foot soldier. When their paths cross, they form an uneasy alliance to uncover a dark conspiracy at the heart of the Vatican

My Thoughts

"Cruel is the Light" by Sophie Clark is an exceptional read, featuring a unique setting and a storyline with characters you’ll absolutely adore.

Clark's writing is intense and engaging, with action-packed sequences and rich, easy-to-follow world-building. The chemistry between Selene and Jules is palpable, making their forbidden romance a central and addictive element of the story.

Light of my eyes, she called him. He filed that one away.

The pacing is masterfully done, especially in the second half of the book where I found myself racing through the pages. The narrative is fast-paced, with themes of betrayal, loyalty, and forbidden love shining throughout. It’s filled with twists and turns, humorous side characters, a witty and flirtatious male main character (MMC), and a morally conflicted female main character (FMC).

I can’t wait for book 2!

Many thanks to the publisher and netgalley for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I was expecting an action-packed adventure between good and evil but I was pleasantly surprised to discover how morally grey this book is! It begins with Selene, an exorcist who hunts demons, being sent to a small town under attack. In the city of Rome, where the exorcists are based, demons are common and constantly being hunted. Lately though, the wards have been failing and more powerful demons have been making their way into the mortal world and wreaking havoc. For Selene, this is a minor inconvenience, since the cities outside of Rome receive the brunt of the attacks. For Jules, a French orphan and soldier, this means constant fighting and a life in the trenches. That is until the day his entire unit is killed and he deserts. Cue the enemies. During Jules’ escape, he runs into Selene (literally) and the drama begins. For things are changing in Rome and not all is as it seems. As the lines between good and evil become blurred, Selene and Jules will have to trust each other to have any chance at survival.
The worldbuilding in this book was incredible and I loved the way history was twisted to create this unique landscape. Demons roam the streets of Rome while God is held captive. The descriptions were luscious and it was incredibly easy to get lost in the words. May I also say that the outfits were gorgeous and I want Selene’s effects so badly. Sophie’s writing flowed perfectly and I flew through this book. You can expect plenty of swords, guns, opulent buildings, midnight masquerades, and mysteries. And according to Selene:

“she loathed mysteries. Particularly mysteries in the gorgeous packaging of a young French soldier.”

Oh, yes. And tests. As Jules puts it:

“What kind of tests? Tests to see who can look prettiest in black and gold? Who can wear the biggest, fanciest buttons?”

And that’s another swoon-worthy part. The pining. The banter. The enemies to lovers. Aaaahhhh. If this book had no plot or worldbuilding it would still be worth reading just for this. (Luckily we get all three!) The relationship between Selene and Jules is so full of tension but it is somehow also hilarious. For example:

“I don’t have time to waste answering asinine questions.”
“That’s rude. You’re assuming my questions will be asinine?”
“Obviously. You can go first.”
“Well, it’s a lot of pressure now.”

Oh my gosh. THEM. They were so perfect. And might I add that Jules is obsessed with Selene. It was so fun to read chapters from both their perspectives to see how oblivious Selene was to Jules’ obvious infatuation. Even just thinking about, I’m sitting here kicking my feet with the sudden urge to read it all again. I could not get these two out of my head. This quote sums it up:

“Why are you so irritating?”
He smirked. “Born that way.”

Finally, the action and adventure in this book was so engaging. I was intrigued by the plot and how everything Selene knew seemed to be a facade for something more dark and twisted than I had thought. I’m excited to see where this series goes and am so thankful I got to read an early copy! In parting,

“Regrettably, she wasn’t possessed. More like obsessed.”