Firstly, it seemed it was written by a drunk poet? Idk how else to expound on that, but it all is just ramblings of the cruise rooms, or anything you can find inside it. These details could be removed as it seemed the story could go on even without them.

And man, this screams narcissistic main character Rebekah, like all she babbles on is how great she looks, "we're on vacation!" how horny she is so on. It only gotten a heart in the story at about 60% in it when she is quite jealous of Heaven but doesn't want to admit it, and when 80% into it when she knows they will never love and care for Hugh like her. but other than that, this is just pure ramblings, no heart, no plot, not even spice. their vampire-ism is like a second thought, the feeding more of feelings rather than blood: pain, fear, lust.

This was described as horror comedy and spicy, man, no it is not? There was no comedy and how the story told is like an old comedy but there is no HEA on the story, only tragedy. there was no horror, well apart from the the feeding, the fight and the kills, the shape shifting? gosh no, it does not tell a horror to me. The only Horror is that I picked it up as an ARC, I hoped there were some preview first, bec by the way it was written, I was checking out and dozing off, I might not pick it up at all had I had a glimpse inside the story. The cover deceived me well.

I’d like to give this book the benefit of the doubt that I’m just dumb, as I found the writing very confusing at first. It got better but I lost interest halfway through. I just didn’t like the characters that much. The ending was good, I think it could have used an epilogue. It’s not bad overall, a quirky little novella.

I really enjoyed this book. It was silly and sexy with some horror aspects. Overall I really enjoyed this book. The length made it feel more like an AO3 fanfic than anything else but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I enjoyed the satirical nature of the characters and the setting- I mean queer vampires on a cruise!

The horror aspects could have been more pronounced really and I felt the ending was rushed, but I stoll enjoyed the bulk of the story.

Oh and don't read this on a train like I did - you might get some strange looks!

With thanks to NetGalley for the ARC

This was such a fun read! Two married vampires are going on holiday and nothing happens as one might expect. I loved their distinct personalities and the diversity of characters and the setting of a queer cruise ship. But for me, the novella had one little flaw, and it‘s such a specific issue I personally had that I think it would spoiler the plot. Nevertheless, it‘s witty and spellbinding!

It's a fun idea, but I do wish the protag didn't feel like a Nadja clone. Some of the more nonsensical lines are palatable if the reader can imagine Natasia Demetriou's accent. It was funny.

Although this book is relatively short, it packs a horrifying punch of queer monster horror. The characters all have their prominent moments and the vivid depiction will be engaging!

This book is short and it felt like it was short. I found myself at times not following along with the narrative because things were just happening so fast. Since its a novella a lot of things happen in a very short amount of time and I wish that even though it is a novella, we got some exposition or worldbuilding for this world. I also felt like sometimes it went zero to 100 when having the smut scenes. They would have just been talking and then all of a sudden they are together. There was no build up or anything. I wish that things were a bit more well paced.

After an argument has put a dent in their centuries-strong relationship, vampires Rebekah and Hugo board a queer cruise of the Black Sea in an attempt to rekindle things, and to maybe find a third who won't burn Hugo's art in a fit of jealousy. They find this in Heaven, an influencer with an inescapable presence on the ship, but Rebekah's opinion on them quickly sours with how enraptured Hugo becomes by their presence, and how little attention he is paying to her in turn. Rebekah vows to expose Heaven for what they really are and to win her beloved back.

What defines a vampire? Immortality? A need for human blood? A lack of reflection, a weakness to sunlight, and the inability to cross running water? Merbaum's vampires are a looser interpretation of the lore--they're humans who have stopped aging, can't die, and feed off of the emotions of humans (each seems to have a different preferred flavors; Rebekah's being sexual arousal and attention, Hugo's being sadness and grief). They're kind of like if Colin Robinson from What We Do in the Shadows was sexy. I'm not a vampire purist, and while I think they at least have more tooth (pun intended) than some other literary blood-suckers, I was a bit sad that so many common vampire weaknesses were defied in a blasé way. For example, early on in the book the two sit down at a bar for drinks with some men. The bar has mirrors, but when Rebekah mentions this... she's looking at her own reflection, as well as Hugo's. The novella isn't about them trying to hide their true nature so it doesn't really matter that they have reflections, but it's a bit disappointing that the only vampire traits they seem to have are being eternally youthful and a parasitic relationship to humans.

This novella is unapologetically queer, which is a nice change from so many stories that want to have their representation tag but blanche at the thought of using non-gendered pronouns. That said, and maybe this is because I'm the wrong kind of queer (a boring ol' aromantic asexual), so much of the sex seemed... boring? This was the obvious intention for the orgy, but Rebekah has a lot of sex in this book, and almost all of it involves a penis going into a vagina. Are you telling me on this queer cruise that she does not once take the strap? That no one gets whipped or has hot wax dripped onto them? So many freak flags have the opportunity to fly here, yet this cruise is deceptively vanilla. Maybe Merbaum didn't want any specific kink groups to feel like they were targeted or being made fun of, but unfortunately the sameness of the sex scenes made them more of a chore than anything.

I won't spoil Heaven's true identity, but I will confess that I thought the reveal was going to be that they were, in fact, Jesus Christ. C'mon... they have luscious locks and a beautiful beard, a magnetic personality, and their name is -Heaven-? Jesus had also been mentioned before they were introduced as a sort of vampire, so it didn't seem too out of left field...

Overall, an interesting novella, but I'm not really sure I'd read it again. It's not really all that horror, and while some of Rebekah's inner thoughts are objectively funny, I'm not sure I'd consider it comedy either. It's a fun character study with some interesting lore to it, but it doesn't really go anywhere exciting.

IT was a good concept. There wasn't much to it though to be honest. I feel like there were parts that just needed a bit more explanation/expansion to them. It could have been so much more. The pace and tone just didn't quite match up for me. It did have its great moments, however just was not for me.

This book packed a punch in a short, eventful novella, but lacked some details and exposition that I found made it difficult to understand at times. There is a lack of worldbuilding that made aspects of the plot confusing, but it was an interesting read despite its flaws.

There is something very compelling about a morally ambiguous protagonist. In this book, it felt like every character inhabited a very uncomfortable gray area, but were written so well, it kept the reader on the edge of their seat for the whole book. Rebekah, chaotic neutral to the core, and her longtime partner Hugh are going on cruise while a war is raging, almost as an afterthought, in the background. All seems well in their relationship until a mysterious non-binary social media influencer named Heaven crashes their party. For such a short book (168 pages), the author manages to pack in a great mystery, compelling queer character development, and lots of spice. If you enjoyed the character arcs of Severus Snape, Walter White, or The Bride from Kill Bill, this is the story for you.

This was an excellent novella that followed through with everything it promised. The writing and narrative voice were spectacular and showed the author’s craft/ability. Rebekah was also such an interesting, maniacal, unhinged character that I found myself identifying with and supporting throughout the story. The ending was both satisfying but also left me a bit bereft, however I think that was the only way this could end. I truly enjoyed reading this novella and will definitely read any- and everything else by this author.

I liked this novella for its concept "Queer self-absorbed Vampires on a queer Black Sea cruise", its effortless rep and it's ending, but that's about all, unfortunately!

The way this story is narrated made it quite hard for me to enjoy it fully.
We always are pretty deep in the MC's head, who is consciously narrating her story, and everything she sees almost feel like a fever dream and I felt way too far from what was happening to my taste.
At some point I even wondered if she wasn't hallucinating what was happening in the story 😔

The plot didn't interest me much either and I didn't find it very funny once the real plot started.
The MC was just miserable at this point, and suffering from her husband "betrayal". She wasn't happy, I wasn't happy and the ending just made it a bit better, but still. I guess some people might find her thoughts amusing at times, but just know that the whole Novella is about her being slowly abandonned and ignored by her longtime husband for a newly met mysterious being, and her being sad and hurt and alone.

I didn't think it was bad, per se, but just not to my taste

The "Smut" part of the book also felt very repetitive, mundane, and kinda like a constant background thing in the story that both felt uninteresting and tiring

A fun and frolicking yet spare and thoughtful queer novella, about a narcissistic husband and wife vampire couple, together for hundreds of years, on a queer cruise to prowl for victims. Told from the viewpoint of Rebekah, a cruel, self-absorbed, vain yet honest and observant snob, who caters to her shallow husband Hugh. Each of their types of vampirism is different. Hugh feeds off adulation and despair, and he looks away in disgust at Rebekah’s more base needs from her victims. But each of their needs to feed is vague and non-gorey, and Merbaum inserts any and all violence into the sex between her characters.

This happy yet dysfunctional couple meet their match in a mysterious influencer who captivates the Hugh.

Sexy, funny, sharp and satirical, Merbaum reveals the underbelly of desire, greed, marriage, gluttony, classism, and even tourism and cruising.

Fascinating, different, eye-opening. A new look at the vampire trope.

Rebekah and Hugh, two vampires, join a queer cruise and cross paths with Heaven, a non-binary being who threatens to unravel their relationship. While the book had its standout moments, the tone and pacing didn’t resonate with me. At times, the narrative felt scattered, and the storytelling style didn’t quite land—it just wasn’t for me. That said, I do commend the author for the extensive and meaningful representation throughout the story. It is hard to do so successfully in a novella.

Rebekah and Hugh (two vampires) go on a queer cruise and meet Heaven, a non-binary being, who is basically going to tear Rebekah and Hugh's relationship apart.

This book had some great moments but, between the tone and the pace it just wasn't for me. I felt it was all over the place at times and I didn't really care for the conscious style story telling, it was just a miss for me.. i found myself at times bored and then at others I was annoyed reading the story. I will however gave the author credit for such a huge and diverse representation throughout the whole book!

A sexy, snarky, bite-sized story of a married couple of vampires on a cruise. Merbaum offers a scandalous diary of the sexy vampire Rebekah as she chronicles the 14-day queer art cruise she and her husband, Hugh (also a sexy vampire), take to try and mend their centuries-long relationship. Full of honest humor, Rebekah takes this turbulent moment at sea to finally look into what makes her "Rebekah" after many, many, many years of just going with the flow.

When an eye-catching unicorn (a "third" added to the couple's relationship roster) takes the spotlight in Hugh and Rebekah's lives, a horny escapade of magic and violence ensues. Orgies, sex fights, glamour, and some mysterious disappearances... what more could you want?

If you're looking for a little snack, whet your appetite with Vampires at Sea.

Strange, sexual, and unusual… maybe in a good way. Not my personal cup of tea but I can see fans of the cult classics (like Rocky Horror) possibly eating this up.

I really wanted to like this one, but I couldn't get into it. There was great representation in this novella, which I enjoyed. However, I didn't really care for the plot, it was a bit all over the place, and the main character got on my nerves.

I was totally hooked by this weird little novella filled with lust and debauchery. As someone who doesn't read horror a lot, I kept waiting for it on tenterhooks but thankfully this didn't have the slasher kind of horror I was expecting, so if that's something that's making you hesitate on this this book, never fear.
I loved both Rebekah and Hugh, and I was really invested in their relationship - I really hope we get to see them again one day.
'Only Lovers Left Alive' meets 'Fatal Attraction' by way of 'What We Do In the Shadows', this was so strange and messed up yet hilarious - I couldn’t stop reading. I still don't really know what to make of it, other than really enjoying it.