I requested this book as an ARC because I found both the title and the description of the book relatable. Like Natasha, I was born to a mother that didn't seem to care or love me as she should and a father who made me his entire world and loved me with every fiber of his being, but struggled with his own ailments. Natasha's father has schizophrenia, which is a condition I knew very little about and found it interesting to read about. I learned that a large percentage of people diagnosed with schizophrenia think they are talking to god. As someone who is atheist, I would love to make the joke that religious people are crazy with my dad and he would find this fact amusing as well. Unfortunately, I cannot do that so I'll share it here instead.

The only thing I didn't like about this book was how it was written. I think it could've been written in a more immersive, personal manner to suck the reader in rather than the matter-of-fact textbook-like work that it does. That being said, it's also possible that the author wrote it this way because for her, her life is matter-of-fact and hard to add emotion to something that she's grown accustom to. But if I didn't have such a strong personal connection to the content of the book, I may have stopped reading. But because I do, I highlighted so many quotes that are relatable to me and found myself sobbing as I finished it because I have never related to something so much before.

Like Natasha, I walked the line of being there for my dad who struggled to take care of himself, who blurred the line of who the parent and child really was, while also attempting to maintain a life for myself that was healthier than the childhood I was raised in. My dad had his issues, but despite them, he never made me question his love for me and I truly think someone who struggles so hard themselves but can love another so fiercely is the very definition of love. Also like Natasha, my upbringing has lead me to unhealthy complexities caused by trauma.

Like Natasha, I have had to be the caretaker, the protector, the advocate, the friend, and more and although it was frustrating and stressful and more than what should be typically asked of a child, in a lot of ways it made me appreciate him and the bond that we shared. In the book Natasha says, "I can't shake the implication that I am his significant other, a role I'm both attached to and have resented" and that is so relatable to me.

My favorite quote of all, comes at the end, when Natasha and her father are having a conversation and she asks him, "What kind of an animal would you be, Dad" And he says, "I'd be an elephant." Natasha asks him why an elephant and he says, "Because they protect their young and they remember." This quote captures the love between both Natasha and her father's relationship as well as mine with my dad and this is a really beautiful, deep book that has helped me realize even more than before that the deep loving bond between my dad and I was a gift that I can keep even though he's gone.

This is a thought provoking read and is very insightful

I didn't know much about the subject but the author has written a knowledgable and sensitive read.

Aprils father's madness is descriptive and at times I found myself moved by her plight. The love April has for her father is evident

A moving and interesting chronicle of mental illness and a daughters love

This is a beautifully written, deeply empathetic book. So often people living with schizophrenia are reduced to stereotypes. Williams helps us get to know her father as a whole person - deeply complicated, worthy of love, disturbing, and charming. She doesn’t pity him or herself. The events she recounts are jaw-dropping in their intensity but the way she describes them makes them human-sized. Thanks to Net Galley for the ARC.