As a former Jehovah’s Witness, I spent my childhood weekends knocking on doors in a modest dress and handing out pamphlets on the end of times. I was immediately drawn to Joy Towers Neal’s debut Floating Up to Wherever, advertised as a former missionary’s memoir on the slow abandoning of her faith. Hell yeah. Sign me up.

Instead, what I got was a woman going from one type of Christian to another—one that preaches and studies the Bible’s verses literally to a more passive (and more common) type of Christian that believes in creationism but not necessarily the Bible. This isn’t a problem. Neal’s story still deserves to be told, but the marketing set an expectation it didn’t meet.

Most of the book is about Neal’s complex and layered affair on her husband with a much older pastor, and how this affair sowed a deep-seeded distrust for religious authority and its handlings of sexual misconduct. Religious authority and sexual abuse go hand in hand (just look at the Catholic Church) and Neal’s experience of being vilified, manipulated, and disbelieved is unfortunately quite common. As for the rest of the book, Neal describes her evangelical missionary trips abroad and her (often politically incorrect) descriptions and stories from these countries. The scenes are short and rapid, and Neal spends a great deal dunking on Christian misogyny—as she should. She describes feeling out of place among devout believers and the judgment she faced whenever she presented an unpopular biblical opinion.

The book was gripping. The author’s dissolving marriage and secret affair had me angry, shocked, and even scoffing. Joy Towers Neal holds nothing back in her own mistakes—even sharing her abandoning of her beat-up kitten in a casual, passing description. I felt conflicted by the end. She’s a victim, a mother, and a lost soul; she’s also, at times, selfish and unempathetic. I loved her. I hated her. In my eyes, writing that stirs emotion and presents a blunt, honest reflection of their own personage is good writing.

I recommend this book to anyone who’s felt like the odd one out. Just know you may not fall in love with the protagonist.

I didn't expect to enjoy this book, but I really did. Excellent writing, very readable, and a little addictive. I was really enjoyed Joy Towers Neal's voice and perspective and her heart. The story is compellingly honest. It's a peek into the evangelical missionary practices of some organizations, but more than that, it made me think about my own beliefs, doubts, faith, and how to find ways to practice and believe that don't grate on my soul. Thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for the opportunity to read/review.

This book is disgusting. You talked about how bad you felt hurting your character Natalie in your story, but there is no sort of redemptive ending where the real victim of your story is concerned. On top of that you are putting this info out there for her to possibly see and find and re-hash the trauma you caused her which suggests you really don’t hold the values you claim to.

I was really excited to get to read this book early through NetGalley. The premise sounded really intriguing, I thought a memoir from someone who lost their faith in christianity would be a really interesting exploration of identity, religion and what happens to you when your whole world turns upside down. But slowly while reading it I found out that the book isn’t really about that.

Yes, it is touched upon a bit, mostly in the first and last 30-40 pages. And those pages where also the only ones I sort of enjoyed and could find something to grab onto in. But most of this book is just about constant cheating over the course of many years between the author and her friend/pastor while their spouses knows and seems kind of okay with it and remain friends over the years with no friction to speak of. It all just felt kind of pointless. Over a 100 pages on cheating with seemingly zero reflection about it is not what I wanted to read when I picked this up.

And that brings me to my last point. This book does a lot of telling of the events that transpired. One after the other. But it is almost void of reflection of any kind. What is the point of the author writing this down without any sort of reflections on how these events made her feel, how they impacted her life in the long run now that she isn't in the middle of it? Cause she seems like she is kind of in the same place at the end of the book as she was in the beginning. With her husband, still engaging in church even though she apparently lost her faith somewhere along the line.

Maybe this memoir will work for someone else, but I was utterly frustrated and annoyed for 80% of it. What I can say is that the writing isn't bad and maybe if she had written this in a more retrospective way it would have ended up a more impactful memoir.

I read this book in two days. Couldn't put it down. I was a little surprised at how much the book dealt with faithfulness (or lack thereof) in marriage and how little it had to do with faith. But that didn't make the writing or the experience less meaningful.

Probably 3.5 stars because it kept me thinking afterwards. It's one of those books that talking about any detail will give away the whole premise of the book.