4.5⭐️

[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]

a dark and deeply personal and moving memoir about how psychedelic drugs assisted the author in recovering from childhood trauma. as someone with childhood trauma, i found this to be very insightful and interesting. more advocacy and research is needed to understand the connections between psychedelic drugs and trauma.

I find it tough to rate this 5 stars because of the subject matter and the horrors that Alex lived through. I know trauma is in the title, but holy moly it is A LOT of trauma. Bless him for being willing to share his journey with all of us. He wrote this book in an incredibly open, honest & frankly, raw way. There was no slow introductions, right from the start we begin to read about his scars. It is important. I think all survivors of abuse will be able to relate, and just maybe feel less alone. And I certainly hope writing it helped him to cut more of his trauma free. Reading about his psychedelic therapies is incredibly interesting and I thank him for doing what he can in bringing the idea of it forward. I’d love to read something by Katrina (not about her work with Alex specifically; just to go deeper into the work) While this book was a tough read, while it doesn’t end the way that you or I or especially Alex would want; I still found myself tearing up that he was finding the positive in life despite everything. Thank you so much to NetGalley for a copy in exchange for my review

Trauma and Ecstasy is a brutal and open account about the author’s struggle with repressed trauma. Through many sessions of MDMA and psilocybin with a caring and thoughtful guide, Alex remembers that he had been repeatedly raped and brutalized by his childhood piano teacher and later by the piano teacher and an associate. This is a raw account of repeated trauma and the author is to be commended for his candor and willingness to speak out.

Had I not just read a book about new modalities for treating depression written by my own former therapist, I might have scoffed at Alex’s chosen mode of treatment. However, the book describes that these medicines may well be on the forefront of treating trauma.

Mr. Alexander starts the book with his journey through modern medicine and physical therapy as well as conventional talk therapy as he tries to figure out some serious issues with his pelvis, a journey that apparently takes many years. Interspersed in the book are look-backs at his childhood and his later reflections that he was never good enough for his
parents who, in addition to Alex, had another son who has autism as well as a daughter. All of these feelings as well as his reliving of the repeated rapes are revealed during his process with unconventional treatment.

He also beautifully describes his relationship with his mother which deepens over time as they are able to reach deeper within themselves and share feelings.

Many times, books that detail personal trauma are not well written and seem to be something the author needs to write for themselves but are not necessarily meant for the general public. The opposite is true of Trauma and Ecstasy. Mr. Alexander writes beautifully and I am grateful that he shares his journey with the reader.

Highly recommended.

I received this book as an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.