Shon Faye’s *Love in Exile* is a profound and deeply introspective exploration of love in a world shaped by societal expectations and capitalism. Blending personal memoir with sharp social critique, Faye challenges conventional ideas of romance, questioning why love is often seen as our ultimate source of fulfillment. Her writing is both tender and thought-provoking, inviting readers to examine their own relationships and the broader forces that shape them. *Love in Exile* is a powerful, illuminating read that redefines love beyond convention, offering a vision of intimacy, connection, and self-discovery on one’s own terms.

File under: would have exploded my brain when I was 23 (complimentary).
I loved Shon Faye’s first work on non-fiction, The Transgender Issue, so I was buzzing to receive her
sophomore book. Shon, the blurb tells us, grew up “quietly obsessed with the feelings that love was not for her”;
this fear plagued her for a long time, and much of this book is dedicated to examining those feelings
and how they reflect the horrors of late capitalism back at us. Love? Modern relationships? The
horrors of late capitalism? Sign me up.
I thought this book was absolutely fantastic; clever, funny and honest, it had me highlighting long
passages of wisdom on almost every page. It’s divided into 8 chapters, each exploring a different
element of love, from the erotic to the familial to the religious. It’s exploding with big ideas, neatly
wrapped around a memoir of sorts in which Faye sorts through her interpersonal relationships, past
and present. As such, it is a book of two halves; I actually preferred the more academic side of the
writing, though both are engaging, enjoyable and – as Faye always is – very witty.
Much of the book is dedicated to romantic love, and Faye takes us through the end of her last
relationship with devastating clarity. There’s also a lot of discussion of heteropessimism – fun! - but
it’s not entirely a downer when it comes to romantic love, exploring they ways in which she can
approach relationships more healthily.
Faye’s writing on how capitalism has snuck into everything and, frankly, ruined it, is
so compelling and visionary! Capitalism has atomised us, and made society hyper-individualised,
which in turn has made it harder to find love! I wish I was half as smart as Shon Faye, tbh.
As I said above, the chapters on family and friendships were the most compelling to me, especially
the latter chapter – my favourite of the book. I did find the last chapter – about God and religion – a
little hard to swallow, but to each her own I guess! On the whole it’s an absolutely phenomenal
piece of work. I’d especially recommend the audio – which I downloaded when I realised I couldn’t
be without this one for long – read by Faye herself. A beautiful, hopeful, truthful memoir and a
brilliant piece of critical analysis, I loved it!

Well is it a surprise to anyone that this book is excellent? It’s honest, informative, funny and so, so wise. It is so specific and personal but points to something truly universal - that opening yourself up to love is scary and vulnerable.

Faye has such a talent for writing about her own life but also weaving in well researched and referenced information. At the end of the day love sucks because of capitalism. Before reading this book I would be inclined to agree. After reading this book I’m convinced of it.

I thought this was incredibly valuable and eye-opening and it really touches on something about our current society that is uncomfortable to think about. It’s pretty loveless! And individualistic. A superb book from a writer that I will always, always make time to read.