What happens when you have to confront your past and everything falls apart? When life is perfect but shatters because you have to accept your past and move toward your future? What if accepting your past means accepting your mistakes and your shortcomings and loving yourself regardless? How do you move past guilt from your past?

Imperfection. Found family. Uncertainty.

I found myself listening to this book and never wanting to put it down. From the very beginning of being Inga and Lily, I found a double edged sword. Two women with separate lives but one goal: to heal and to exist. Lily was driven to push down and hide her past while Inga wanted to live in a world where her current actions could stay hidden. Lily’s approach to her mental health and childhood trauma is one that can resonate with most readers and is heavily emotional for an individual to read!

Yet, both women needed each other more than anything. Lily, raising her sister and living with her past, and Inga holding onto her present life that she lost due to the departure of individuals from her life. Both women held themselves together. Both women helped to heal each other. Even in strife, revelations, and chaos, they remain the stronghold for each other at times in the novel.

In contrast, Lily’s relationship with her sister was emotional and was heartbreaking to see. The abandonment Violet felt from the very end of the novel shook me to my very core. Lily’s love for her sister is crucial to understand her sister’s absence and her sister’s actions. I find the dynamic between both women to be contrasting but deeply emotional.

The last few chapters were some of the most shocking and kept me reading more and more. I found myself in tears at times and felt the betrayal and pain Lily felt. My heart broke for her. From the very last page, I was holding on to know the resolution. Kitty Johnson is a true mastermind in crafting this novel.

I found when reading this book via an audiobook that it was a powerful testament to how to engage with your past and present trauma and move forward. In today’s world, we humans exist in chaos at times and learning how to co-exist and thrive is crucial to being able to be “closest kept.” I find this to mean staying close knit/close together as you tackle what life has for you with those you love. This story above all is a story of found family and healing with those you love. At times, the only person you can keep close in chaos is yourself — and that is okay.

A special thank you to NetGalley, Kitty Johnson, and Lake Union Publishing for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

As a side note, the narrator, Imogen Church, was absolutely FANTASTIC if you have never heard her work. I am excited to check out more of Imogen’s work.

Thank you NetGalley and publisher for this ARC audiobook for an honest review.

Lily and Inga are best friends who meet Matt and Alex on the same night. Basically, Inga claims Matt which leaves Alex for Lily despite her initial interest in the other.

I would classify this book as a book on relationships and friendship dynamics over the years. There is a lot of dysfunction and even toxic behavior, but we eventually get character growth by the end. The author did a nice job addressing mental health/postpartum depression.

Lily has a lot of emotional baggage stemming from her upbringing (or lack of) from her alcoholic mom and taking on the surrogate mother role of her younger sister. Their mother disappears on the night their house catches fire...and Violet is put into the welfare system, separating the girls.

There were so many characters that I was not a fan of. Inga was a horrible, manipulative friend for most of the book. I did not feel a true best friend vibe other than Lily claims Inga is her best friend. Violet, Alex (his mother even when dying!), their mother, Violet's father...grrrrr! So many selfish, unfeeling people!!

Matt was a keeper even if he started off with Inga. He was always genuine and supportive in his friendship role, and eventually more.

I'm glad Lily eventually has her "ah-ha" moment because it is emotionally exhausting to see her constantly put herself last and everyone else's wants/needs first.

I enjoyed the epilogue but would have liked to have had more scenes with Matt and Lily as a couple.

3 stars

4.75 ⭐⭐⭐⭐✨
This book took me on an emotional rollercoaster 🎢—in the best way. Lily's journey is raw, real, and full of heart 💕. I laughed, I teared up, and I rooted for her every step of the way 🌧️➡️☀️. Beautifully written with strong themes of healing and learning to put yourself first. A touching and powerful read 🌸🫶🏼📖

Also, I really enjoyed the audiobook! The narration brought the story to life and made the emotional moments hit even harder 🎧✨

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a free ARC copy to read!

Alright, a lot of things to say. But first, be aware that my review isn't positive and that it's based on my opinion and values.
Lily is just not a good person. Not by the fact that she has feelings for her best friend's ex, we can't control that, but because she has feelings for him she's can't keep a secret from him, EVEN if the secret isn't HERS. It is not her place to tell him that her best friend had a miscarriage nor that she's pregnant by another man. Yes it is an uncomfortable position, I get that, but your role is to talk with your best friend and support her (with what she's going through and when she'll tell her ex).
It was obvious that her sister was using drugs, even it's not what you think about first, by the behavior of that person you try to find the reason why she behave like she does then you'll get to that conclusion. At one moment she said "Violet has betrayed me", no. No she's an addict. And yes it is absolutely not okay what her sister has done in her own apartment. But saying that Violet has BETRAYED her, god no. This is a selfish way of thinking when we talked about a person using drugs.
The choice of Lily to accept the proposal of Alex is, again, selfish. Yes she couldn't say she didn't want to (apparently because of people pleasing, doubt that when it comes to a decision so important). But it is obvious that it wasn't sustainable. And knowing that the second she accepted, it is so immature and irresponsible.
The book disappointed me a little more with each new chapter, wasn't for me.

thank you netgalley for the copy.

I hate not finishing a book I’ve been given to review but unfortunately this audiobook narrator was not a good choice to make the story enjoyable. The main character had a very nice voice but when she switched characters it was as if she used a child-like voice for the other female character and the male characters sounded like how kids try to make adult voices sound. I feel so badly for this author to have a narrator who was not able to fully embrace the changing voices in a way that is pleasant to listen to. I’m going to hope that picking up the written version of this story could prove a better version.

I really wanted to like this one but unfortunately it’s not for me and I did not finish. However that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be great for someone else as the plot and characters are excellent it’s just not what I thought it was 😊