Good Me, Bad Me

Wowsers! What an amazing book!

Fifteen year old Annie's mum is a serial killer, the only way she can make it stop is to hand her into the police.

Annie becomes Milly and has the chance of a new life, but how will it work out?

This gripping and emotive book will captivate you. It's an intense read that genuinely had me holding my breath and gave me shivers. Thoroughly recommended.

I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of this book, with thanks to Netgalley and the publisher. 5*

I'd heard a lot of good things about this one and was looking forward to reading it.

It did take me a while to get into it but I suddenly hit a point and it was just like I'd reached the pinnacle of a rollercoaster and there was no stopping me after that.

Milly, as Annie is now known after taking a new identity for her own protection, has been placed with a foster family after handing her own mother into the police for murder. She is finding it hard to settle in her new surroundings, especially with her foster sister Phoebe, who is doing everything she can to make life difficult for Milly who not only has that to deal with but also the upcoming trial of her mother, at which Milly will be appearing as a witness.

The author is very clever in her style of writing in this book and has made the story a very intriguing but harrowing read at times. I would highly recommend this book to others and will be posting my review on Goodreads and Amazon UK & US. Thank you to Penguin UK - Michael Joseph for the approval.

Life is not easy for Milly. Trying to settle into a foster home where the daughter of the house resents you and bullies is bad. When you are building up to testifying at the trial of a serial child murderer; who just happens to be your mother is worse- especially as you are the one who turned her into the police. She struggles to get through this whilst wondering if the things that made her mother what she was, are also part of your nature too.

A disturbing tale and one that will linger on past the last page. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this thought provoking book.

Let me start by saying that it is outstanding psychological thriller, where every chapter breathes of suspense and anticipation of what is going to happen next. I really enjoyed the way this book was written, like a letter to characters evil mum. At the same time it was laying this story so beautifully, it was real pleasure to read it. The language used in the book is really understandable and easy to read, so you can put away the dictionary, will not need it here. I found the characters very diverse and really disturbed in this creation. All of them had some sort of problem they were suffering from and that made them really interesting. I believe here is where authors life’s experience came in. She worked with a lot of disturbed people, children and grownups and knowledge where greatly used in this creation. In my opinion, children where the strong characters in this book and not the grownups. Those revenge parts were like honey to sore throat, unexpected and so satisfying, after the anger caused by bullying scenes. There was one thing that didn’t make me very happy, I needed more information about the murders. There were more murders, but only one discussed thoroughly. I am extremely curious how others died. Also I needed to know more about what mom used to do to Annie, I didn’t find given information sufficient. The ending of the book was like a crown on the queens head, applause for it! So to conclude, this is a gripping psychological thriller with a lot of twists and turns and I do strongly recommend it. Is there going to be a film? I would not be surprised if there would be.

Ali Land's debut novel Good Me, Bad Me has as its narrator a distinctive female voice, one that grabbed this reader from the very beginning as she tells her story of escape and survival. This is a perspective which is fast becoming a trend going by my recent reads: victim lit or, perhaps more appropriately, survivor lit. I have a feeling that this is one book that'll spark debate and it is ripe for wide-ranging, and heated, book group discussions. If you have the stomach for its subject matter.

Where Good Me, Bad Me works best for me is where Annie/Milly tells us about what it was like living with her mother and the new life she has with her foster family while she waits to testify at the upcoming trial. Her voice demands that we listen to her and it’s fascinating to hear about her coping mechanisms while adjusting to a new home, a new (albeit temporary) family, a new school at which she’s bullied, the tentative moves she takes towards making friends, preparing for and having sessions with her foster father/counsellor and giving testimony during the trial. It’s interesting to see which battles she picks to fight and when she decides to bide her time and save her strength. Her reasoning of her current situation and past and the mental manoeuvres she undertakes to function and keep her mother’s voice at bay were interesting and, of course, you’re never entirely sure how much to trust her or her version of people or events.

I have to admit that I was less convinced by the fact that she’s homed with a specialist trauma psychologist, Mike, who doubles as her counsellor, and his family. I could understand that her case warrants someone with his skill-set because of the severity of the trauma she’s been through, but I still didn’t believe that she’d necessarily be placed with him. And that’s before we see that his family might not be the best environment for her in this delicate transitional period. It’s easy to say that teachers, and by the same token counsellors and social workers, can sometimes be the worst people at seeing what’s going on in their own lives, despite being able to spot the signs in the classroom or consulting room, but I struggled at times to accept that this was where Annie/Milly had ended up and that Mike is so blind to what’s going on, although obviously it made her situation and the story all the more compelling and involved as a result. But she is fighting on all sides with very little help or support: the sessions she has with Mike seemed pretty superficial to me and she had very little external contact or help, except for Joan, who accompanies her into court but is otherwise little present, and her art teacher, whose behaviour seems flighty at best and erratic or irresponsible at worst.

Good Me, Bad Me is a book you’ll want to talk about. I know I do. And there’s a great deal to talk about here: why a female serial killer is a less common but more unnerving prospect; how someone in a position of trust and/or in a caring profession can abuse that position; how we can prevent or protect children (and their parents) from becoming victims; where victims survive alive but damaged, whether that damage is lasting and irreversible, and how that manifests itself; the effects of a child’s separation from its parent(s), and vice versa; the bonds between mother and child, and especially the push and pull between mother and daughter; family loyalties and the betrayal of those; the search for a surrogate family and all the competing considerations that decide what is in the best interests of the child; the public front a family puts up and the difference between that and how it functions behind closed doors, and how that can sometimes mean a child is moved from the frying pan into the fire, or vice versa, as perhaps happens here; old school bullying and its younger sibling, cyber bullying; the whole nature versus nurture debate, whether we are a product of our upbringing or inherit traits from one or both parents, and if we can forge our own way in life or make better choices than our parents, once independent of that influence; and the battle between good and bad, or right and wrong, in everyone and how we justify or rationalise our choices.

The outcome of the trial and the way in which her new home life works out don’t come as a massive surprise but I’d still recommend reading Good Me, Bad Me for Annie/Millie’s voice and her thoughts and behaviour as a survivor, the mental gymnastics she has to play in her new life with all the fresh challenges that brings, and the promising new author behind it all that is Ali Land.

Blurb:

NEW N A M E .
NEW F A M I L Y.
S H I N Y.
NEW.
ME . '

Annie's mother is a serial killer.

The only way she can make it stop is to hand her in to the police.

But out of sight is not out of mind.

As her mother's trial looms, the secrets of her past won't let Annie sleep, even with a new foster family and name - Milly.

A fresh start. Now, surely, she can be whoever she wants to be.

But Milly's mother is a serial killer. And blood is thicker than water.

Good me, bad me.

She is, after all, her mother's daughter...

OMG I couldn't put this book down! There are a couple of major twists that I just did not see coming. I loved it! 5*

This book is dark and atmospheric with very well formed characters and it kept me page turning until the end,I would not want to be a young girl these days with the peer pressure and social media, I enjoy some social media as an adult but would worry if I had a teenager using it.I think I've gone off at a tangent now so will just say this book is well worth a read and lives up to the hype.Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for an ARC in return for an honest review.

With Good Me Bad Me, Ali Land has given us the perfect psychological thriller.

Annie’s mother is a serial killer. For years, she’s been killing little children and getting away with it. But one day, aged 15, Annie can’t take the horror of her mother’s actions any more and turns her into the police. Annie is given a new name (Milly), a new foster family and a new life – but her mothers trial date is looming and she knows she’ll have to testify.

And all this happens in just the first couple of chapters.

This breakneck paced and deeply engaging book is a real treat. I read the whole thing in under a day – a day I was really meant to be doing something else. The characterisation is terrific – both the slow creepy build of getting to know Milly, and the rich creation of the incidental characters. Milly’s spoilt, vicious step-sister and dim, desperate friend were particular treats to read.

The voice of the novel is extraordinary, capturing the conflict at the heart of Milly’s character – with a mother like hers, will she ever turn out to be good? Offering no easy answers, this is a perfect book club read – a novel that makes you want to argue about the characters as if they’re your friends.

Essentially, this book does everything that a psychological thriller should, and does it well. A flawed but magnetic protagonist, an unflinching delving into our messiest emotions, a lingering sense that all is not what it seems… And crucially, a pace so quick that it never occurs to you for a moment to wander off. This book demands your attention, taking over lunch hours and bus rides until it’s done.

A rich, dark and gripping psychological thriller, this bold debut will be everywhere this year. Don’t be like I was and refuse to read something (The Girl On The Train) because it’s “too popular” – if you like this kind of book, get a copy NOW for your next long train journey. An absolute cracker.

5/5

I'm very much in two minds about this book, which I suppose is quite appropriate.
On one hand, I really enjoyed it. Each page brought new information and new emotions. Each chapter brought new complications for the characters. Each of these complications brought solutions which influenced the story in unexpected ways, meaning there were plenty of shocking discoveries.
The book had an interesting style. Being written from the point of view of a fifteen year old enabled plenty of insight into her thoughts and feelings, which otherwise wouldn't come across. Personally, this style also drew me closer to the character of Milly, made me empathise with her even.
On the other hand however, I felt that towards the end, it became a little predictable. Some people may like this, but personally, I like twists and suspense. Not only that, but I felt slightly let down by the ending. So many unanswered questions, loose ends and missing details. Again, for some people this may be what they like but I prefer to have everything tied up, even if the ending isn't a happy one. Although I do appreciate that with this particular ending, tying leaving no questions unanswered would've made the book substantially longer.
Overall I'd give Good Me Bad Me 3.5 out of 5. I would definitely say that it's worth reading if you have a chance as it has quite a unique style and an intriguing storyline. However if you're anything like me, just prepare to be left wanting to know more.

Wow, this one hit the psycho spot. In the opening chapters, Annie informs the police of her mother's activities as a child serial killer. She is immediately taken away and placed with foster parents under conditions similar to witness protection and Annie becomes Millie. Millie's new life doesn't go so well when she starts being bullied by her foster sister, Phoebe. She has a good relationship with her foster father, Mike, who also acts as a therapist to her, and a strange, almost controlling relationship with Saskia, her foster mother.

With Millie narrating, we read of her innermost feelings and thoughts and learn a little of the ghastly treatment at the hands of her mother. Millie is almost totally consumed by the overpowering presence and voice of her mother who is now in prison awaiting trial. She's learned a lot from her mother, she reads people well and uses her experiences to manipulate those around her. Millie is a complex character, in fact all the characters are complex – they all have issues and secrets surrounding their lives and this all adds to the disquieting and manipulative way they all interact with each other.

The writing style took a little getting used to. It's sometimes minimal, a little bit staccato, sentences short and abrupt. Once you get used to this style, accept it as detached thoughts, it becomes a quick compelling read, never pleasant, often chilling and shocking.

When her mother is imprisoned for violent crimes against children, 15 year old Milly is sent to a foster home. Her foster father is a psychologist and it soon becomes apparent that he intends to make a study of Milly and her mother.

Traumatised by her home life Milly is more than happy to fit in to her new family in the hope that the arrangement will become permanent. With a flaky foster mother and a jealous foster sister, however, all is not plain sailing.

While Phoebe, her ‘sister’, who is in the same class at the private school the girls attend, does everything she can to make her life a misery, Milly attempts to rise above the challenges presented. Bullied by the other girls who side with Phoebe, Milly draws comfort from her friendship with a younger girl from the local sink estate. She is determined not to be like her mother and harms herself in an effort not to harm others.

Despite her best efforts things do not go smoothly. Humiliated after a crush on a teacher is repudiated, she discovers secrets which both anger her and give her power. Though outwardly well-behaved she finds ways to cause trouble for those who hurt her and shows through inner dialogue her dismissal of the adults who are trying to help her.

This is a novel with an unreliable narrator, where truths are hidden and instincts suppressed. The ending is shocking but once revealed it is obvious that everything has been leading up to this and that no other outcome could be possible. I was gripped throughout.

This was a gripping, dark, enthralling and disturbing. The book starts with a 15 year old girl reporting her child-serial killer mother to the police and the story that then unfolds is her attempt to balance her feelings, her duty to be a witness, her school-life, fitting in to a foster family and a new school and dealing with an abusive past.
It is hard to review without spoilers so I will just say this was a really good read and is ideal for those who like psychological thrillers and dark reads.

A fascinating and chilling debut. This is the story of the daughter of a serial killer. She is living a new live with a foster family under a different name, while her mother is on trial. Desperate to escape her past and not be like her mother, Good Me Bad me ends up being quite the addicting psychological thriller. It's intriguing, the idea of nature vs nurture. Is Milly destined to be just like her mother or can she truly get a fresh start? There's a good amount of crossover appeal found in Good Me Bad Me. Adults and mature ya readers would surely love. I was deeply engrossed in the story. It ends up being a brilliant character study. Highly recommended!

"Good Me Bad Me" is exactly the kind of book I love! It's a psychological suspense so dark and twisty...I kept wondering whether the author is also a psychologist? How else can you explain the depth of her insight into the main character's psyche?! Having said that, I am glad the author spared us the details of the children's murders. That would've been too much. I hate it when writers try to make the book shocking by revealing the most violent details. Ali Land certainly doesn't need it. The book is perfect the way it is. Thank you so much, to both the author and NetGalley.

This was a great start for 2017, a little depressing but great. Good Me, Bad Me is powerful debut which packs an emotional punch, offering a glimpse into the psyche of a damaged girl

Annie is starting life anew. She’s been given a new name and a new foster family and she’s ready to try to move on from the ghosts of her past. But before that, she must give evidence in a court case, where her mother stands trial for 12 counts of child murder. She’s the daughter of a serial killer, and it takes more than new surroundings to erase the ghosts of her past.

The author expertly flits between past and present, gradually revealing snippets of Annie’s life with her psychotic mother, and the horrific events which took place. In the present, Annie – now named Milly – is struggling with settling in at a new school, dealing with her bitchy foster sister and preparing for her court case, all the while fighting her deepest fears that underneath it all she may be just like her mother.

“Yes, I’ll always be Annie to you but to others I’m Milly. Siamese twins inside me, at war. Good me. Bad me.”

There’s something quietly subtle about this novel – there are some big twists, but it wasn’t really about them for me – the true horror is in what’s left unsaid. It’s an extremely character driven tale, a twisted coming-of-age for the protagonist, but it’s not just Annie/Milly that has secrets; the author lives up to her title theme exploring the good and the bad in the characters, from teenage bullies to absent mothers to serial killers.

Annie’s voice is strong and authentic, as Ali Land creates an intriguing study of a young protagonist who is simultaneously sympathetic and disturbing. It was no surprise to read that this debut author’s background is in Child and Adolescent Mental Health. She’s created a story with weight, one which explores the darkest corners of of the human psyche but is completely grounded in reality, and shows that even those who commit truly terrible crimes are still human.

An unusual story looking at the feelings of a daughter who has reported her murdering mother to the police. She suffers from enormous guilt and struggles with her peers at a new foster family and school. I did wonder if this was a YA book as it looks at many aspects of a school girl's life.
The story is definitely worth reading although the tone of the writing is very similar to others in the expanding genre of psychological thrillers on the shelves at present.

A very gripping twisted thriller.
When a mother commits depraved acts that her child witnesses what are the consequences? Is it possible for that child to recover and put the demons of the past behind them; find a family again, find a life? That is what Milly is experiencing whilst in foster care with a psychologist's family, trying to settle in to a new school, make a friend, take up her art again aswell as testify at the trial of her mother. Clearly damaged by what she experienced this story unveils the complex thoughts and fears Milly internalises, and the chilling consequences of her life before.
I thought the voice of this narration was very cleverly written with a great amount of emotion and even compassion. Nobody is perfect within this story, emphasising the good and bad in everyone and the often fragile line between pain and cruelty.

Good Me, Bad Me is one of those books that seems to have gotten a lot of hype. They’re the type of books I normally stay away from – at least when they are first released, frightened I’ll be disappointed. In this case, though, I couldn’t resist. The description sounded right up my street and also a little different from my usual reads. I have to say I’m glad I took the plunge because it was different and just what I needed after a string of not so hot books.

It starts with Milly (or Annie as she was) turning her mother into the police for child abuse and murder. It’s a shocking opening and grabs you immediately, presenting you with an image that isn’t graphic in any way but still stays with you throughout the book. You are left in no doubt Milly’s mom is guilty and a monster, someone who should go to prison for a very long time.

What you aren’t so sure about is Milly, who is the only voice you hear in the book, as she tries to settle with her new foster family and prepare for the court case where she will be the “star” witness. Starting a new life isn’t easy and her foster sister, Phoebe, isn’t happy to have her around, especially as Milly takes up too much of her parents’ time. Phoebe goes out of her way to make life difficult for Milly, who only seems to want to be friends – well, just make friends in general, she is a lonely girl.

Or at least that’s what it seems like at first because there is a darker side to Milly and, after being drawn in by her story and feeling a lot of sympathy for her, I started to feel unsure. Slowly, secrets from her past are revealed and she does things that maybe aren’t as nice as she would want you to believe. I couldn’t tell if I was being played, if Milly was maybe a chip of the old block, or if her behaviour was a result of her wanting to fit in and be loved.

It made for a compelling read and I found Milly a compelling character, one I wanted to understand but was also maybe a little afraid of, very much like the people around her. They wanted to be sympathetic, wanted to believe she was an innocent victim, but wondered – was she really? Or at least I think that’s what they thought because the only voice you hear is Milly’s so you only get her take on what is said and done. It’s her version – and the question is whether it’s the true one.

I thought Ali Land did a really good job with Milly, of creating someone you didn’t know if you liked but felt you should give a chance to because of what had happened to her. By making her 15, going on 16, it did feel like there was a grey area there – that nagging question of why Milly maybe hadn’t done something sooner to speak out. Some of these things are answered in the book but I won’t say because of spoilers but there are a few times when I had “lightbulb” moments, where Milly would reveal something or do something that completely changed my opinion of her.

Of course, because this is Milly’s story, you don’t get to know the other characters that well and the foster family are somewhat two dimensional as a result. Then again, as Milly’s character starts to emerge, maybe this was on purpose, because in a way they weren’t necessarily real to her but people to be manipulated to reach an end. Her mother was much more real, or at least a very real monster.

Seen through the eyes of Milly you see confusion, this is a woman who she loved but also hated. You never meet her or hear from her directly but she dominates a lot of the pages. And you see through Milly’s memories and nightmares of her just what type of woman her daughter might become. I liked this about the book, that I kept second guessing myself about Milly.

In fact, there wasn’t much I didn’t like if I’m honest, other than maybe the final twist. I am not sure I needed that. I felt I had a good ending, a slightly ambiguous one that seemed to go with the Milly I knew. So, although I was proved right in the final chapter, I would have liked to have been left with a bit of a question mark. It’s a small thing and didn’t stop me liking the book though, which I did – a lot (if you can like a book about a child murderer, which I guess is another post entirely!).

Netgalley provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I was worried about requesting this book as when I first saw this in a book haul for some reason I thought it was going to be a heavy read. It is totally the opposite of what I thought. I loved the writing style of this book.

The story is about Milly whose name has been changed from Annie to protect her identity. Milly is in foster care because her mum is on trial for murdering young children. Milly wants to put everything behind her and start a new life but Milly too has suffered abuse from her mother. She can still hear her mother whispering in her ear when she is alone at night. This scares her because she feels that she must have bad in her too. Her mother is on the front page of all the newspapers and Milly finds it increasingly hard to keep her identity a secret. On top of that the daughter of her new foster family hates her on first sight.

I am quite sensitive and cannot stand to read about abuse, especially anything involving children. I was a bit nervous about how much detail about the crimes and the abuse Milly suffered the author would go into. I was relieved that the author managed to get across the seriousness of the abuse and murders without going into a lot of detail. I would have enjoyed the book more if I had known this beforehand.

As I was reading I had no idea in what direction the story was going to take. I thought it was a very interesting story and a bit different to the normal psychological thrillers that I read. I would definitely be interested in reading more from this author.

Wow what a pager turner!
I am always amazed when I come across a book where the story and characters feel so real that I keep having to remind myself that it's only fiction. Good Me Bad Me hooked right from the first page, and finished it within 24 hours. The tension was just right for me building slowly, with Milly's desire to throw off her relationship with her mother but still clinging to that family bond. The relationships within the new foster family were fascinating and felt very realistic, as did being the new girl at school. Even though I finished this a few days ago, I'm still thinking about it and will be recommending to family and friends. Be warned though it is disturbing although not explicit, and probably won't suit readers who don't like the dark side of psychological thrillers.
Thanks so much to NetGalley and Penguin UK - Michael Joseph UK for my digital copy.