Member Reviews

If I Ever Fall tells the story of a terrible loss. There are 3 narrative strands, firstly Dan who now lives alone but desperately wants to keep what's left of his family together. Then his wife Maria who writes letter after letter detailing her unravelling life in a bid to get herself back together. And then there's Jack, an amnesiac seemingly stuck in remote Wales with no clue of who or why he is there. The story unfurls slowly but steadily to reveal the tragedy that has brought them to this point.

This is a heartbreaking story that somehow leaves you a bit cold. In masking the tragedy it feels as if it has lost some of the impact (hard to explain without major spoilers). That said as a story it's very readable, and I did enjoy it. My main criticism would be the ending. It felt a bit rushed then was suddenly over.

Thanks to Netgalley for this ARC for an honest review.

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This is a very unusual book having three stories or three story tellers within it. At first I was not sure about it and I was almost ready to give up on it as it seemed confusing and I was unsure what the three stories were all about and they did not seem to be going anywhere. At about 10% in the story starts to explain itself and from there on it makes sense (well not totally but saying more would give the story away).. I have not read anything by this author before and on reading reviews of his previous book I was expecting a weepy - this, I found, was not the case. It is however a well told story and one that will keep you guessing pretty much until the end.
I would recommend this book and I would say that you may need to stick with it to get an understanding of what is going on.

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Really enjoyed this book.It kept me hanging on to find out more and more details that were slowly being revealed.
It was very sad in parts and I felt I could relate to the characters.
It is hard to review without giving too much away.I have now looked for other titles by the author.
Worth reading and recomending to others.

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Thoroughly enjoyed this. The twists were a surprise.

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I did really enjoy this book and the three different narratives that were involved in telling the story. The first narrative was that of Dan a newspaper editor and family man, the second was by Maria in the form of letters and then Jack's narrative who appeared to be a very confused man suffering from amnesia. Each chapter has a different time frame but it does eventually all link up and make sense at the end. Initially it did confuse me but as the story progressed I couldn't wait to find out what would happen next. I did find Maria's narrative a bit laborious but the rest was fine.

This is outwardly a story about grief and loss. Parts are difficult to read towards the end as they are so graphic but at the same time I found it effective. If a book like this can make me question if the people in my life are doing okay then it's doing something right.

Jack's narrative intrigued me the most because on the surface he has amnesia but as we delve deeper into his chapters it does make your question if his 'rescuer' Miles is perhaps a more darker character than initially anticipated. Jack's blackouts and visions continue right to the end of the book and it did keep me intrigued especially in anticipation of who the girl in the red coat was.

Dan's chapters were also captivating. His fall from grace and the grief he experiences through not only the loss of his daughter but of that of his marriage does make him a rather sympathetic character. Again I found his narrative something that I wanted to read on.

Whilst Maria's narrative on the other hand I found difficult. I did not find her to be a likeable character even though she was probably the one who I identified the most with.

Without giving away too much I did find this book enjoyable. There are a few loose ends I would have liked to have seen tied up (why did Sam really kill herself) but then I suppose it's like real life that not everything is clear cut and left with an explanation. Overall I would recommend this book and would rate it 4/5.

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If I Ever Fall is a compelling novel, it's not a heavy read but intelligent and insightful and a real page turner.
This is a wonderfully constructed novel with an element of mystery to the storyline which was quite sad in places but I did find it to be very enjoyable and I read it quickly as I was desperate to know what happened.

I love the way the author draws you in to his believable characters and their lives. S.D. Robertson has written a superb book and I think it's one of those books that will stay with you long after turning the final page. Brilliant.

Thank you!

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Jack awakes following a head trauma, which he learns occurred when he fell off a ladder. The very scary thing is that he doesn’t remember who is he is. He finds himself in an isolated house with a chap called Miles, who with his background as a retired doctor tells him he has retrograde amnesia.
As Jack recovers, his mind whirls. Miles doesn’t seem to know a lot about Jack. He tells him that he has arranged to work at the house in exchange for bed and board and that much else about him he didn’t know. He is congenial, but sketchy about some things, so Miles isn’t sure if he is telling the whole truth. He has no ID, there is no telephone, no mobile phones, not even wireless radio reception.
Jack becomes suspicious. But he keeps blacking out and having strange experiences - nightmares when he sleeps and vivid images/flashbacks whilst conscious. These include seeing a girl with long dark hair wearing a red coat, but Miles says he doesn’t see her. So with his head injury, Jack cannot trust what is real or not; he may just be being paranoid, but his instincts are warning him that something isn’t quite right.
Between Miles experiences there are interjections of a diary kept by the socially isolated Maria writing to her dead daughter. This, a means of expressing her grief as well as her feelings about her fractured marriage to Dan, her struggle to keep her OCD under control and to do her best bringing up her other daughter Ruby. Prone to bouts of agitation and irrationality, she is schmoozed by a new father at the school and her life just keeps being turned upside down.
Dan, her husband, a journalist who smokes & drinks far too much is struggling to cope living in a grim flat as per their separation arrangements. He misses his wife, yet every time he tries to communicate with her it always ends up in an argument and is fraught. His job is on the line and even his daughter has expressed that she doesn’t really want to stay at the flat with him.
This book does a great job of sustaining tension and an under the surface fear throughout. As the story progresses and you learn more about the characters, you question whether you like them or not. They all have sizeable flaws, but equally they are all under tremendous emotional strain and their personal relationships and dynamics have all changed. They are all in a state of transition. But you are hooked as you learn more and await the revelations you know are coming. All I will say is that these are not what you expect them to be. Ultimately the story of the 3 main characters triangulate. There are some great twists and a rapid evolvement of these folk that make this a very satiating read.

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This was a fantastic read, which gripped me from the start, a story which keeps giving, from start to finish. Even after devastation, there is still hope!

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This is a beautifully written story following a family tragedy and how it effects each of them .I found it a little confusing at the beginning but the ending was brilliant and then everything made sense .There are a few twists and turns which I love but I would have preferred Maria to have told her story directly rather than in the letters she wrote ,though perhaps she found it comforting .

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I did not know what to expect when I started this book but I was riveted throughout and thoroughly enjoyed it. The way the story is told through the eyes of the characters, in different ways, started as confusing but very quickly made me want to read more. The length of the chapters was just right and I felt I could not put it down until a chapter was finished. I felt empathy with the characters and liked the way the ending was 'drip fed' to the reader. I recommend this book wholeheartedly.

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This novel deals with the experience of grief and how a family and their marriage implode. Dan and Maria have lost their eldest daughter. Maria , who has OCD sees a therapist and writes letters to her dead child. Dan, her husband cannot cope with her grief and his job whilst being supportive of their other child, who is also suffering. The marriage breaks up and whilst Dan attempts suicide one day, he suffers a head trauma which leads him to suffer a loss of consciousness and amnesia. He suffers from hallucinations of his daughter and experiences the strong impulse to join her, but as he recovers from his trauma, his daughter convinces him that he has to return to his family.
This story is told in both the past and present and is quite confusing at times. Like the head injury, the story gradually becomes clearer as Dan improves health wise.
My only criticism is about the letters written by Maria. I know their purpose is to explain what is happening in the storyline, but they do appear to be overly self indulgent, dull and not really interesting . I didn't find them to be a successful device.
I liked this book very much and found the story to be written very sympathetically. It gives an accurate account of what happens to the brain function after a traumatic incident and luckily in this case, a successful outcome was achieved. Thanks to NetGalley for my advance copy and this is a honest review. I have posted this to Goodreads today.

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There was something very wrong, the man just knew, where was he? Nothing was familiar to him, in fact he wasn't even familiar with anything about himself. It was like this is day one and nothing had gone before it. He only existed from the moment his eyes opened. He knew what things were but nothing about his past apart from the headache, he knew about that. With the eerie appearance of Dr. Miles the tale became even more strange. There were rules, no clocks or computers, no T.V's or newspapers, just sort of living in the moment. Eat when your hungry sleep when your tired. Simply leave the rat race behind......But the man with no memory needed to know, one way or another he had to find out about his past and who he was.
This is a very unusual story that becomes easier to follow the further you read into it, Told by three people. Jack the man with no memory, that lives in the moment , Dan whose story travels back in time to a tragic event a year before and his OCD wife Maria that spills her feelings into letters as time moves forward for her from the tragic event to present day.  It feels a little bit like developing  a film the more you become immersed, the clearer the picture becomes. It is beautifully written and does become intriguing as to how it is all going to fix together.  I soon became aware of the outcome, so it was at matter of finding out how and why, as well as feeding my growing curiosity about Jack. 
We are all individuals that deal with personal tragedy in very different ways and S. D. Robertson captures this beautifully, even if he uses extremes to show it. I really liked Ruby that at times was a little lost soul having to deal with mum and dad's inability to cope. Her frustration was so evident, bless her. This book has those difficult to blink moments because if you do you will release that tear.
I wish to thank Netgalley and Avon an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers for this novel that I have chosen to review.

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Great book but did take me a little while to get into it, glad I persevered as I loved it.
Dan, Maria and Jack all have their troubles, family problems and a bereavement all come out during the story. Ending was a bit bizarre but I loved it.

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Firstly I would say that this is a book for an experienced adult reader. It takes some getting used to swapping between the 'three' characters and timelines, especially as one is telling his story backwards. However I was captivated and wanted to know more at every turn. It kept me reading to the end, although I was rather disappointed by what was revealed. I just wanted more of a thriller ending. Worth reading.

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A heart-wrenching and heart-racing read that gripped me right until the end.

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A really engaging, warm and vibrant story with characters that you want to succeed and leave you with a feel-good feeling at the end.
Good for reading groups.

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It’s always a bit of a gamble reading a book by an author you’ve never heard of before, but I thought If Ever I Fall by S D Robertson looked as though it would be a book I would like. It’s a story about a family in crisis, struggling to come to terms with a terrible tragedy. It is his second book, due to be published on 9 February 2017.

And reading the Prologue it seemed as though I was right. It begins mysteriously as a man surfaces from his dreams only to discover that he doesn’t know who he is. It appears that Miles has rescued him and tells him he had suffered a head trauma. He calls him Jack. But as I read on I became confused and struggled a bit to follow the narrative.

It’s difficult to write about this book without giving away spoilers. The structure of the novel confused me at first because the story moves between three characters’ perspectives – Maria, Dan, her husband and Jack- and between different time periods.

Maria’s side of things is told in letters to Sam moving forwards in time, whereas Dan’s story begins in the present and moves backwards in time, and Jack’s is timeless. At first I had to keep checking the chapter titles to find out what time period I was reading until I got the hang of it. It shouldn’t really have been that difficult as the style of each is different but it did take me a while to get into the story.

Maria’s letters are quite stilted – maybe that’s what they were meant to be as she is struggling to sort out and write her thoughts so that Sam will understand. Her letters are full of grief. But they are long-winded explanations of what she was thinking and feeling and they slowed down the narrative too much for me. She obsessed about her OCD, but maybe I’m being over critical and insensitive here because being obsessive is the essence of the condition after all, but it became quite dull to read. I was more interested in Dan’s story and especially in Jack’s.

It is Jack’s story that captivated me the most and each time the narrative went to Maria or Dan I wanted to get back to Jack to find out what was happening to him – because some very strange things were going on around him. He can’t work out if he can trust Miles who tells him that he is helping him to renovate a house by the sea. But Jack keeps finding that he is in other places, as a fog descends upon him, or he finds himself trapped in a tunnel unable to move, and he sees people who Miles tells him aren’t there. Whereas, Maria’s and Dan’s stories show them dealing with the same events in different ways, culminating in one tremendous tragedy and growing increasingly apart. All three narratives are full of emotional and psychological tension.

About half way into the book I began to work out the storyline and how the three narratives linked together and was able to settle into enjoying the book, which did work out as I had anticipated.

It’s about what happens to family relationships hit by the most terrible tragedy, how grief affects us in different ways, and the psychological and emotional impact of amnesia and obsessive compulsive disorder. I think if the novel had followed the story in a straight forward chronological order it would not have had as much impact on me. It certainly gave me much to think about as I was reading it and afterwards.

My thanks to Avon Books UK and NetGalley for a review copy.

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I thought that the plot ideas in this story were good but were delivered in a confusing manner. I thought the book was too long and I struggled to finish it. It is essentially a really sad story. The reader is fed the story bit by bit. Unfortunately it was just to slow for me to really enjoy this book.

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