I Can’t Believe You Just Said That

The truth about why people are SO rude

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Pub Date 15 Jun 2017 | Archive Date 22 Jun 2017

Description

Passive aggression. Road rage. Snarky tweets. Queue-jumpers. Idiots who are #justsaying. Fat shamers. Victim blaming. Furious waitresses who refuse to sell you a hot dog… We are ruder than we’ve ever been.

In this incisive and very funny book, Danny Wallace investigates the new wave of rudeness that threatens to overwhelm us. He travels the world, visiting our rudest critics, interviewing psychologists, psychiatrists, bell boys, cab drivers, bin men, barristers, politicians, a limo driver called José and at least one expert in cooked meat production. In doing so he uncovers the hidden truths behind what makes us rude, whether it can be caught, and how one small moment of rudeness—like being declined a hotdog—can snowball into disaster.

From the jihadist who launched a blistering attack on the “bad manners” of his fellow ISIS militants, to the mayor in Bogota who recruited an army of mimes to highlight inconsiderate driving—this is a very funny and powerful exploration into the way humans work and why it is surely time for an anti-rudeness revolution.

Passive aggression. Road rage. Snarky tweets. Queue-jumpers. Idiots who are #justsaying. Fat shamers. Victim blaming. Furious waitresses who refuse to sell you a hot dog… We are ruder than we’ve ever...


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9780091919047
PRICE £12.99 (GBP)
PAGES 384

Average rating from 13 members


Featured Reviews

I thought this was an excellent book. I tried it on a bit of a whim, not knowing quite what to expect, and it turned out to be witty, intelligent and genuinely insightful about the things which make people behave rudely, why such behaviour may be becoming more prevalent and, crucially, the damage it does to us both as individuals and as a society.

The great thing about I Can't Believe You Just Said That is that it is extremely readable and entertaining while saying genuinely important things. When my copy first arrived I thought I'd have a quick look at the first few pages and read it properly sometime later. Instead, I was hooked and read the whole thing straight through. Danny Wallace is a very engaging writer who manages to be funny, honest and self-deprecating while describing situations and personal responses to rudeness which everyone will recognise.

The book begins with the Hot Dog Incident, in which a café-owner was staggeringly rude to Wallace who is a customer. As a result, he went off and did a lot of serious research into rudeness, its causes and effects. He commissioned a survey and also talked to a lot of academics and others who have looked into the topic in detail. The results are fascinating – and rather scary. The severe damage to personal performance caused by someone being rude is positively terrifying (this includes medical errors increasing hugely if someone, not necessarily the patient, is even mildly rude to a practitioner, for example, and the effect persists for a long time) and the corrosive effect of general rudeness on groups and entire nations is also disturbing. There are also some uplifting accounts of ways of combating rudeness and some thoughtful (and sometimes very witty) analysis of its origins in all sorts of groups of people.

I can warmly recommend this book. I found it extremely entertaining as well as being very thought-provoking, and I hope it is very widely read.

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I'd not read any Danny Wallace before but this I liked the style and the topic. Mixing annecdotes with research is great - this could have been overblown and too long but was just fun.

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Charmingly crafted with everything you expect from Danny Wallace's writing style, you'll stop and rethink every interaction you've ever had in your life as you read through this account of rudeness in the world. Insightful commentary and excellent research combined with a light humourous styling makes this the most entertaining pseudo study book you'll ever read.

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Fascinating look at rudeness - very funny and had me pondering

We've all done it - not let another driver in, wished ill on somebody who didn't open a door for us - rudeness is all around us and nobody is immune from either giving or receiving it.

Danny Wallace has here done his own 'study' in the wake of a rather brutal encounter with a provider of hot meat products (hot dog seller) and examines both hers and his own behaviour in the light of his findings, as well as including facts and stories from around the world, situations we'll all find familiar.

It's a truly fascinating read, and Wallace has is deft touch with a comic turn of phrase.
"As a man myself, I'm not sure how my testes compare to the national average, but I'd say all three are perfectly normal." Yes, there's a little bit of swearing and fruity language, but those familiar with Wallace would expect no less.

Situations he mentions are brought up again later and in doing so, the reference raises many a chuckle.

It's bang up to do date as well, talking about Donald Trump's election as US President: "rude people get ahead". He doesn't hold back from his own opinions and I found this very refreshing, the target was well-aimed and chosen.

I certainly examined my own behaviours and habits as I went along and do agree with the author that
"we need politeness because it is right" and that "the important thing to realise is that civilisation involves being civilised."

You are likely to read this and form a resolution or two, one of which may involve avoiding a particular fast food seller, another to do with being nicer and more patient with people.

A very witty and erudite book, one we could all do with reading.

With thanks to Netgalley for the advance e-copy, provided for review purposes.

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I am fan of Danny Wallace's work because he takes an everyday subject and explores it in his unique way. In this book he looks at rudeness after an incident with Madam Hotdog.

He looks at the psychology and social causes of rudeness with his own wit and humour thrown in as well. I found the book quite thought provoking. I could relate to many things said and it has made me more aware of responses when in public.

Reading this during the General Election was interesting as he touches on why we think our opinion is more important, how rebellion in history repeats itself and how we challenge tradition. It really is fitting for today and I would highly recommend reading it. If you work in customer services then this is a must read.

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