First line: "<i>You're waiting for him to come back to you. </i>"

Disgusting. Absolutely, 100%...


But oh, so heartbreaking, tragic, and hopeful all at once. Beautiful in the most terrifying way.

Although this is a fictional book with fictional characters, it rings true to what, I can only imagine, must be a life of terror being in an abusive relationship.

The novel starts out with a seemingly normal blended family. Cassie Parsons is a stay-at-home mom with two kids, ages 13 and 8. Her husband, Nathan, has a neurological condition (which is never revealed, and I am really quite interested to know what he has…, but that’s an entirely new matter altogether... I mean in the synopsis it is, but throughout the novel, it is referred to as a neurological condition, and nothing more...) which causes unpredictable behavior, mood-swings, and a controlling mindset. We quickly see that Cassie is not happy. We begin to unravel slowly, but surely, what is going on…and we see how Cassie copes with what’s happening in her life. Cassie goes through many hard, and particularly awful, situations that she learns to use to become more in tune with herself through writing letters.

<i>I know it hurts to see reality; we often fight tooth and nail to hold onto what we believe reality to be.</i>

I absolutely loved the characters, although I did hate one in particular ;). Cassie is definitely my favorite character - she is an inspiring woman, who has many ambitions for her future, that she discovers while discovering her true thoughts and feelings. She is a strong woman that recovers her independence and is able to stand up for herself after many years of having her independence and her personality eroded through a “clouded” abusive and controlling relationship.

<i>Cut out all that is wrong in your life. Live each day as well as you can, have no regrets.</i>

The plot was phenomenal, although at times it was hard to swallow. Sheryl Lee has a great talent which is evident in her writing. I felt many emotions while reading this book, varying from sadness, speechlessness - which at times, bordered on disgust, hope, and happiness. I had a hard time putting this novel down, and am quite happy that I got a chance to read this courtesy of Netgalley. Included in this review are a few select quotes that really moved me while reading, so I thought I would drop them off here…and hopefully inspire you to read this book too.

<i>And you know what life does when you're content don't you? Life snickers and then pulls the rug from under you. Life has a very sick sense of humour sometimes.</i>

I really enjoyed this book. I loved how the character was able to work through her problems & find the much needed self confidence to make choices to better her life & the life of her child. A woman who has no self esteem, no self confidence to deal with her husband, his illness, & abuse... struggles to work her way out of the darkness to a more fulfilling life. I would definitely buy/recommend this to friends/family.

I read this book a while back, and boy, was it a tough read. Not because the book was bad... In fact, it was quite the opposite. It was well-written and extremely emotional. The abuse in this book was very graphic, and I can honestly say that I STILL cannot stand Nathan. He's still villain #1 in my book. Even several years and probably 500+ books later, I still remember the way reading how he treated Cassie made me feel, and while I never experienced abuse at the level that she did, I could, unfortunately, relate to the emotions that she was feeling due to the abuse. It is the most awful, demeaning, spirit-breaking experience to know that someone who SHOULD love you treats you so badly.

Let me just say from a personal perspective... There are very few times when you can point to a small moment in time that changed your life. For me, it was reading this book. I used to be the quiet, compliant, people pleaser - not caring about what was best for myself, and allowing people to walk all over me. This book made me so angry. So SO angry on behalf of Cassie - this fictional character. So angry that I felt that something needed to change. Old traumas were stirred up in my mind, and when her therapist suggested writing to herself and responding as if she were talking to her friend... Something clicked. I realized that while past events occurred, only I had the power to learn to fight back and move forward in a healthy way. I found myself using the letters technique in my head, and found that I gave myself more grace and support this way. How weird that I could literally be hanging on by a thread and thinking awful things about myself, and that simple change of perspective could alter my whole outlook on who I am?! Slowly, I started seeing changes in myself. I grew a backbone. I made a facebook post about not forcing people to love me and no longer allowing them to use me. I stood up for myself in arguments, and in time, I learned to set boundaries. These decisions were not and ARE not always popular, but I have never been more confident in myself as an individual. Sure, there are still things to work on, but that's okay.

While this book may not be the absolute best written book of all time, it will always be incredibly important to me. I will be forever grateful that it was written and that it came into my life at the time it did. Especially since some of the hardest times were AFTER my healing began.

To the author: I hope that regardless of how many copies of this book have sold and how much money has been made, my experience expresses how much this book was needed. Your labor of love made a difference in at least one person's life whether that was its purpose or not. Thank you!

A HUGE thank you goes out to the Author and NetGalley for originally providing me with a copy of the book. All opinions here are entirely my own.