Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for this arc in exchange for my honest review.

I am not a massive reader of ‘self help’ books but was given the opportunity to read this and after reading it and taking a moment to think how it would apply to me and my situations. I have to say it was full of brilliant guidance and was not condescending like previous books I have tried to read.

I will definitely revisit parts of it and explore in more depth. Would recommend to anyone wanting ideas on being kinder to themselves!

The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi is a self help book designed to change lives by breaking habits and being kind to ourselves. It is "Giving yourself permission to be kind to you." Often we are our worst critic. We need to "Conquer... the habit of negative self talk."
This book gives personal testimony as well as suggesting we mind map various topics. As we progress along the way, we will need to review our mind maps to see how far we have come.
We all have negative habits that rule our lives and need breaking. This book sets out exercises designed to help us break the cycle of our bad habits, as well as questions for internal reflection.
Shahroo Izadi suggests setting realistic, clearly defined goals for the change we want to see. A lapse does not mean a relapse. We need to keep moving forward.
The Kindness Method has the power to help you change your life if you want to. The most important thing is:
Be kind to yourself.
I received this book for free from Net Galley. A favourable review was not required and all views expressed are my own.

I’m not a big ‘self help’ reader but this was very accessible. Ever done the exercise where you have to say 5 nice things about yourself or list 5 good qualities you possess? It’s a lot harder than you think and yet there is nothing wrong with valuing ourselves or what’s good about ourselves. The Kindness Method tackles acquired habits of mind that continually undermine us as we interact with the world and society. The book is empathetic and down to earth without being needlessly facile. It’s methods are backed by personal account. All in all it was very readable and one I will refer to again.

I'm quite excited about this book so I'm going to put in writing what I'd like to work on so I can't back out!

I used to love taking time for myself and exercising a little everyday, I would make excuses as to why I stopped but I know myself it was due to sheer lazyness.

I'm excited to get going and see where the kindness method takes me over the next few weeks. To be honest this challenge has come at a very good time for me because I'm not being very kind to myself lately.

I'll be back soon with a full review!

The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi a four-star read that will be thought provoking and change many minds, will yours be one of them. This is a self-help book that Is much deeper and more brutal than the couple of others I have read. Be warned its not a book you can pick up and read a few minutes then pick it back up later. This book will take work, but if you are willing to put in some hard work and keep at it then I’m sure that you will get something out of this story.

This book is far more serious than most in the self-help genre. It's more self-therapy.

The central concept of the book is that most things we want to change about ourselves are more the symptoms than the problem, and while we can often fix symptoms briefly if you don't deal with the underlying problem the chance of either a relapse or an alternate symptom appearing are. And, fundamentally at least, that's basically a cornerstone of peeking into the human psyche; a lot of what we do doesn't always have visible motivations. Or more accurately we often ignore the real motivation because it's easier to look at the visible symptoms and try dealing with those. And this book is about giving you the tools to undertake some self-analysis and try to get to the core problems. And that's what I really like about it. It's doing self-care in a serious and sensible manner.

That does make it less accessible at times. In truth, it feels more like a homework book therapists can give to patients because the number of maps you're encouraged to write make this more of a workbook than a reading book. If you read on the train to work, or in the bath, or even just in bed... you may not feel comfortable or able to pull out your notepad and start making maps about your life. I'm pretty sure you won't want to stand up in the middle of a cafe and start making affirmations into a mirror either. So don't expect this to be a book you can read. If you want to use the tools to make changes you pretty much need to start blocking out time to sit at a table or desk and do the assignments.

All of which comes back to the reason this book may not be for everyone. It does self-care seriously. It's not a quick fix, it's not an instant pick me up. If you're looking for a book to encourage you to make a small change without really having to commit to some kind of process you should look elsewhere. If you're looking for a more serious aid to addressing deep down issues and making huge changes to your life... well this book is a start. But if you're that committed already you'd probably get even more from a session with the author than you will from reading her book. It's a great first step and I can see it really helping as part of a bigger picture.

I’ve just started mapping my social media use, after 3 days I’ve definelty reduced my time on Twitter.
Now to start on Facebook.

A very practical way of supporting yourself in breaking unwanted habits and becoming the best you you can be without self flagellation or unrealistic expectations. You get out what you put in with the Kindness Method - it's up to you to do the work but fortunately the work is fun and engaging which keeps you motivated.

This is a self help book with a difference. You do the work on yourself and being kind to yourself is harder than it seems. A really useful book. Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for letting me review this book.

The Kindness Method is a self-help guide to help you change a habit for good. This might be something big or something small. Shahroo Izadi has developed this method via her experience of working with clients with addictions. But this method isn’t just for addictions – it about changing any habit and can just as easily be applied to taking up something, such as getting fit, as giving something up.

Shahroo’s approach involves starting with writing yourself a Snapshot Letter which summarises your thoughts and feelings at the start of the process. This is helpful to go back to as often we later trivialise a problem when we’re having a good day and go back to old habits as we think all is okay on that good day. She then goes through a series of a dozen or so maps that you create in your own handwriting. You use these in various ways, some to compare to one another and others to look at when you are not doing so well at changing the habit you are aiming at. The maps provide insights into our behaviour and knowledge of triggers that cause us to behave in ways we would rather not. These maps are fluid and can be added to and changed.

I was reading this on a Kindle so was frustrated as the images to show examples of the maps were not visible. Hopefully this will be fixed in the final version. I have since downloaded a pdf version onto my computer and can see the example maps which helps a lot.

I like Shahroo’s approach and I plan to spend some time working through the Kindness Method. It’s the sort of book where you can keep going back to it and get a bit more out of it as you gain a bit more insight into your behaviour.
Shahroo’s urges you to look for ways to be kind to yourself, not to beat yourself up if things are going to plan. As she points out, if a friend has done something wrong or foolish we wouldn’t berate them but would try and say something encouraging. So why don’t we do that to ourselves when we know we’ve done something wrong or foolish? She also urges us not trying to be too unrealistic and drastic in seeking change. For instance, don’t go from spending hours on social media to deleting all your accounts. Plan to spend a limited amount of time on them instead.

With thanks to NetGalley and Bluebird publishers (Pan Macmillan) for inviting me to read a free advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I can’t tell you how much this book resonated with me! It felt like it had been written just for me - which would be nice but probably not great for sales.
The techniques we are taught as we go through this book make us look at ourselves and the great things we are capable of. This in turn encourages us to look at ourselves differently. The overall aim is to be kind and look after ourselves, something that seems possible thanks to this book

2018

This book won’t change your life if all you want to do is read something and revert back to your old habits - this book requires some work from you. Sitting down and writing out your maps as instructed in the book enables you to look at your life in a more honest way. We would never speak to others the way we often speak to ourselves so being able to see on paper our strengths and weaknesses and learning what triggers our failures (which the book shows you are not failures) is the way to changing your mindset and live a happy life for you no one else.

I have read some self help books in the past this one is different as it gets you to make maps and notes etc and break habits.
I found it quite interesting. I enjoyed the examples especially the ones at the beginning of the book and it certainly got me into reading it. I did find it then went on lots about the author however that was just how they changed and can help us to.
It’s a book I think you have to go back to rather than read and never read again and you do need to focus on doing what it says.