This Really Isn't About You

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Pub Date 23 Aug 2018 | Archive Date 30 Nov 2018

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Description

"In 2014 I moved back to the United States after living abroad for fourteen years, my whole adult life, because my father was dying from cancer. Six weeks after I arrived in New York City, my father died. Six months after that I learned that I had inherited the gene that would cause me cancer too." 

When Jean Hannah Edelstein's world overturned she was forced to confront some of the big questions in life: how do we cope with grief? How does living change when we realize we're not invincible? Does knowing our likely fate make it harder or easier to face the future? How do you motivate yourself to go on your OkCupid date when you’re struggling with your own mortality?

Written in her inimitable, wry and insightful voice, Jean Hannah Edelstein's memoir is by turns heart-breaking, hopeful and yet also disarmingly funny. This Really Isn't About You is a book about finding your way in life. Which is to say, it’s a book about discovering you are not really in control of that at all.

"In 2014 I moved back to the United States after living abroad for fourteen years, my whole adult life, because my father was dying from cancer. Six weeks after I arrived in New York City, my...


Advance Praise

‘Deft, witty and profound, this is a true story about how to let go, and when to hold on. Jean Hannah Edelstein’s writing glows with a peerless clarity that had me turning the pages all night. A stunning book.’ Jessie Burton, author of The Miniaturist

‘Jean Hannah Edelstein is one of the most brilliant writers of her generation, as witty, wry and unsentimental as Nora Ephron. This is a magnificent book, about families, mortality, love and the hard, necessary work of becoming an adult.’ Olivia Laing, author of Crudo

‘A most magnificent, beautifully written memoir. Unsentimental but heartbreaking, the voice – true and clear. Brilliant.’ Nina Stibbe, author of Love, Nina

‘Jean Hannah Edelstein is an exceptional writer, simultaneously wry and heartbreaking. She has this incredible ability to extrapolate moments of grace and sadness from the everyday. And this memoir about cancer, mortality, shifting ideas of home and love is no exception.’ Nikesh Shukla, editor of The Good Immigrant

‘This Really Isn’t About You really isn’t about me, but it resonated in all sorts of ways: as a woman, as a writer, as a daughter. It is funny and serious, moving yet entirely unsentimental, and bracingly truthful. Jean Hannah Edelstein considers life in all its complexity with great clarity, grace and wit.’ Lisa Owens, author of Not Working

‘It’s a wonderful, warm and funny dissection of grief and life that left me feeling like Jean was a friend I never made, and wishing I had.’ David Whitehouse, author of The Long Forgotten

‘Insightful and charming, this is a breathtaking exploration of grief and becoming.’ Laura Jane Williams, author of Ice Cream For Breakfast

‘This isn’t the heroic narrative about a fight for life against the odds, but instead it’s about getting on with things, maybe not in the most heroic way, but in a way that’s funny and real and quietly profound. This Really Isn't About You is wry and poignant and true, and I loved it.’ Julie Cohen, author of Together

‘A very funny and charming and bittersweet book.’ Jami Attenberg, author of The Middlesteins

‘A bold and unusual meditation on loss, instability, freedom and home. Engrossing, funny and brave.’ Kate Murray-Browne, author of The Upstairs Room

‘[This] book does everything I love about memoir: it hits you with the truth, it reads as enthrallingly as fiction can, and it leaves you changed.’ ELLE

‘Read if you’re into: memoirs, powerful tales written by Jewish women, and heartbreakingly funny writing.’ Alma magazine

‘Deft, witty and profound, this is a true story about how to let go, and when to hold on. Jean Hannah Edelstein’s writing glows with a peerless clarity that had me turning the pages all night. A...


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781509863785
PRICE £12.99 (GBP)
PAGES 272

Average rating from 21 members


Featured Reviews

An amazing mémoir tracing the death of a father and a women coming to terms with an genetic predisposition to cancer

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Totally engaging memoir. Valiant, vulnerable, funny and immensely likeable. I didn't want it to end - but of course it ended perfectly.

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I would like to thank both NetGalley and Pan Macmillan for giving me the opportunity to read ‘This Really Isn’t About You’ in exchange for my honest unbiased review.

I had never heard of Jean Edelstein before- This memoir was written in such a beautiful way that I instantly became hooked in it. It is heartbreaking. raw but still made me smile.
This book gives you moments of happiness combined with sadness. It makes you think on your own life and also no matter how much you think your in control of your life your actually not.

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Loved this. Downloaded on a whim and a few chapters later never wanted it to end.
I remember a time when autobiographies and memoirs were celebrity driven and it was more about the headline grabbing stories than the writing.
It’s been a joy of late to read stories written by writers, of ordinary lives, of families and relationships and health issues and , well, just everyday life.

This is a smart sassy writer. Both funny and heartbreaking. Her relationship with her father in dealing with his cancer diagnosis to his death and beyond is really touching, as is the impact it has on the relationship with her mother. Tears welled as I read about drinking tea as a way to pass time, to start a conversation, it being not about the drink or the taste but a comfort and a ritual.

A really special read that introduced me to a writer I didn’t know before but will wait eagerly for more in the future.

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Thank you for the advance copy to 'This Really Isn't About You'.

I wasn't sure about the style of writing at first but soon got hooked! I really felt for the author who was looking for love, finding her place in the world all while coping with the death of her father. I enjoyed reading about her life and the journey she took to get to where she is now. It is a poignant, humorous memoir and I will look out for more of Jean Hannah Edelstien's work.

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I’m not sure when I first came across Jean Hannah Edelstein’s writing, although I suspect it was thanks to Twitter. What I do remember is reading as much of Edelstein’s work as I could and immediately signing up to her newsletter Thread.

It’s 2014 and Jean Hannah Edelstein has moved back to the US, after years spent abroad, because her father has terminal cancer. Shortly after her return, he dies. In the midst of her grief, Edelstein is faced with the possibility that she may have inherited a gene that makes her more susceptible to cancer and the decision of whether or not to find out for sure.

This Really Isn’t About You is a tender and poignant memoir about family, dating and grief. Go read it and then enjoy catching up with Edelstein’s Guardian column.

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I loved this, didn't know what it would be about really but ended up thoroughly enjoying it. Edelstein writes like a dream.

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Really loved this. Clean, moving, funny prose, well put together. Elegant and unflinching in equal measures.

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Imagine having lost a beloved parent to cancer....and then finding out that you had inherited the gene that might give you cancer too.

Loss is a great distiller for all of us, and helps us realise what's most important in life. For Jean Hannah Edelstein, she also has to wrestle with own mortality as well as the rough ocean that is grief. And so she begins an interesting journey, one that many of us can relate to and recognise ourselves in - particularly if you've lived in London during your twenties, I found those sections very moving and relatable! - but one that entails having to face the bigger questions in life much sooner than most of us normally would. Does knowing your fate make living easier...or harder? How do you face the future? We live in a world that suggests to us that we are in control of our lives and our fate....Jean's experiences show us that that really isn't the case at all.

"This Isn't Really About You" is a very special memoir that manages to be courageous and heartbreaking but lighthearted at the same time. Edelstein writes frankly but also with great humour and grace.

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I’d been subscribed to Jean Hannah Edelstein’s beautifully written newsletter for about a year when I saw her soon-to-be-released memoir available for request on NetGalley, and I jumped at the chance to get my hands on it sooner rather than later.

This Really Isn’t About You tells the story of how, while still in her early thirties, Jean lost her father to cancer—only to learn that she had inherited the same gene that caused it. She writes movingly about the loss of her father, the difficulties of knowing what it is that will one day kill you, and her many encounters with the medical professionals involved in diagnosing and testing her Lynch Syndrome.

But this book is more than that, too. It’s about the importance of family, and how our relationships with them grow and change. It’s about being young and in love, or wanting to be (the chapter on everything Jean loved about London in her twenties will make anyone nostalgic, no matter where they spent that decade). Really, this memoir is a moving and witty account of what it’s like to navigate the highs and lows of adulthood—and how to do it all when life throws you off cours

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