In the Best Interests of the Child

Absolutely fantastic book explaining and describing the implications and effects of physical, emotional and sexual abuse that can continue on from relationships, even after leaving through professionals and courts. How people (not just mums but dads also) can be controlled by using their children as pawns to exert more pain and suffering. The book describes how Iris and her daughter manage to get away from the ex partner/father abuse but actually 5 years later they are still under control by professionals and courts he has tried to command. He then applies to court to try and take away the daughter, get direct contact and completely pull apart the mother through telling lies to everyone - saying she is an alcoholic, druggie, irresponsible, making up about her daughters illnesses. The heartbreak, the worry, the long term effects for both mother and child unfolds. The story details the process of separated parent course, whereby parents are told bed wetting and distress is normal when contact occurs and they have to force their children into contact whether they want to or not. It explains what CAFCASS does, through a good worker and a bad worker, where they try and take over everything and always side with one parent. It explains the financial burden of fighting court with solicitors, barristers. Overall it shows the upset at every letter, email and even knock at the door. It really took over their whole lives and when the professionals say don't let it... how can it not?! I really hope this is not a true story for the author but sadly know many that have gone through the same thing. A change is needed to put children first, not the abuser or the court judges or cafcass but to really listen to the children. Great book. Look forward to reading more. Will definitely recommend. Thank you Lily for writing this book.

Richard is seeking custody or visitation with supervision of Rosie.He is making false accusations of Rosies mom isla.”miss Murphy consistently abused alcohol,prescription drugs,self harmed,placed herself in unsafe surroundings and issued threats of personal safety. She harassed myself by text and phone ,damaged property and made threats of suicide.” Isla didn’t feel safe with Richard and does not want Rosie being around richard.I was wrapped up in seeing if Richard would receive supervised visitation knowing how hard that would be on isla and Rosie with her health problems . I was hoping isla and Rosies health would get better.I liked reading through all the medical and legal notes.I liked following along the multiple hearings.

#in the best interests of the child #netgalley

Isla could have made it easy for her and Rosie and taken a way out by ending their lives, but as a mother, she stayed strong for her daughter and chose to fight. Isla was in an abusive and manipulative relationship when she fell pregnant with Rosie. For Rosie and her safety, she decided to leave him and went to stay in a shelter and try and build a new life for her. That was until Richard found them and decided to take her to court citing that she was a bad influence on their daughter. This led to a long lengthy process of court visits, social workers, health professionals as during this we see that Isla is not only fighting a dangerous disease herself but that her daughter Rosie at only 2 has a truckload of health problems and at one point it was touch and go for Rosie. Reading this my heart yearned for Isla as she was trying to do everything for her daughter's safety and because her husband was a manipulative male, he is seen as the victim, not her. This was a hard book at times, and I just wanted to scream at the lawyers and social workers and the judges as Isla and Rosie could not get a fricking break. I did love that after all their journey, they did prevail and all I can say is that if Isla were a "real person" she would be my ideal mother figure as she fought with tooth and nail to save the only person she knew was important - her daughter despite her medical issues. In the best interests of the child is a compelling story that shows indeed what a mother's love is and the lengths they will go for their children. I now have the author's book Kind on my kindle, but not sure if it will measure up to In the Best Interests of the Child as this will be a hard book to beat.