The Barley Break

It has been a few weeks since I finished reading The Barley Break. I wanted to wait because I was not sure how I felt about the story. Isn't that the mark of a unique book? It made me think. It had me thinking about the nature of good and evil weeks after I finished reading.

The Barley Break is about a succubus, a human entity that does not die. When the body dies, the spirit can move to another body and continue living. Maude, the succubus in the story, is centuries old and now inhabiting the body of Sara. Mom Jennifer realizes that something is different about her daughter. Finding out about Maude raises concerns and questions for Sara's parents. Is this still Sara? Reading about the different lives Maude lived throughout history was interesting. Maude lived as a good person in the different bodies she used. But she did use the bodies of other people. The spirits of those other people, their personalities and uniqueness, are subsumed by the succubus. The body becomes a shell with talents and abilities used by the succubus. Is this good or evil? Even if the succubus uses for good purposes the body of another soul, is that justification? Is it evil? I have come to my own conclusions. Thanks, C.A. Hope, for making me think.

The Barley Break by C.A. Hope
Set in modern Northumberland this is an intriguing tale of ‘incubi’ and ‘succubae,’ male and female immortal spirits who possess bodies throughout the ages, and a family’s attempt to come to terms with one who inhabits their daughter.
I looked forward to reading this first novel by C.A. Hope and there is much to admire in the originality of the storyline, particularly making incubi and succubae, good guys, with a bad reputation.
However the book feels that it has been rushed to print and, in this reviewer’s opinion, is in need of a much tighter edit and proofread.
The over use of and frequent repetition of adjectives and adverbs is distracting and breaks the flow of the story.
By way of example in a very short space of time::
‘No doubt, Rosalind thought wryly,

‘This was hardly surprising, she supposed wryly’
‘It was readily given, although Jennifer wryly wondered how she could refuse’

Adverbs and adjectives are mostly inessential and the reader should be allowed to work out from the speech in what way the person ‘thought,’ or ‘supposed,’ or ‘wondered.’

One expression used twice in the opening scene felt incongruous and distracting:
‘sitting up with arms folded akimbo over huge breasts’
is followed five lines later by
‘Sara too had her arms folded akimbo.’

The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘akimbo’ as ‘With the hands on the hips and the elbows turned outwards.’ It is very difficult to understand therefore how ‘arms folded… over huge breasts’ can be described as ‘akimbo.’ To repeat the same words just a few lines later can by annoying to a reader.
Whilst on the subject of repeated phrases:-
‘Also, I’ve used teeth taken from cadavers; a procedure that was all the rage at one time amongst those wealthy enough to pay for it.’
‘Yes, I had some Waterloo teeth,’ nodded Sara. ‘A set of false teeth where the actual teeth were taken from cadavers from the battle.'

The same expression in two following sentences stood out and not in a good way.

Additionally in the scene where Jennifer and Chas listen to the surreptitiously taped conversation between Tracy and Sara, large chunks of the conversation which the reader has read on the previous pages are repeated verbatim. This reviewer realises that the information would be fresh to Jen and Chas but the reader doesn’t need to read it, almost in full, twice.

The author has obviously researched different periods in history in detail in order to set the scene for the reader, during Sara’s backstories of her earlier lives as Maude, Nancy and so on. Sadly there is, at times, much more detail than necessary which effected the flow and enjoyment of the story.

The language in some of the retrospective scenes appears contrived and very awkward:
‘But how can it be?’ whispered she,’
‘This weather looks fit to last for days,’ sighed she,’
‘Why, yes, everyone will be there,’ smiled she’,
a few lines later,
‘You must travel much,’ murmured she,
then again
‘It must be wearisome to journey constantly,’ replied she.
‘This had been given in honour of King James, who stayed there whilst en route to London, whither he was journeying to claim the crown of England, after the death of Queen Elizabeth some months previously.’
‘For certes, she was a beauty’
Sara using words such as ‘mayhap’ and ‘methinks’ in her conversations with Tracy, is meant to convey her talking as would someone in the Tudor period and not like a twelve-year-old girl in 2017, but the description of scenes using archaic language and/or phraseology is jarring.

That a tighter copy edit/proofread is needed is illustrated by the following errors:-
‘She had nursed both of her sons herself, and had, on each occasion, fallen pregnant whilst doing to.’
‘You should have told me.’ Chas’s tone was gentle, not reproving. ‘But unless I way it myself, I would probably have thought you were dreaming or something at the time,’ he admitted.
‘But he is more astute that his parents.’
‘Having heard what has just said, I think both of you ladies should depart.’
‘Just as she was explaining this, Jennifer’s mobile range’

Additionally whilst reading I lost count of the number of times someone was described as ‘beauteous’ or how much better it was to be beautiful/handsome than plain/ugly, and as for the number of exclamation marks used…?!!!

At one point I was confused as to the identity of a character:-
Who is Mistress Lowther?
‘Rosalind Lowther was young and beautiful, possessing a quick wit and keen intelligence;’
‘Robert Bingham was a tall, darkly handsome man, possessed of great charm, smooth talk and elegant attire. He’d been instantly attracted to the demure and beautiful Mistress Lowther, having first beheld her at a banquet…’
I thought that ‘Mistress Lowther is clearly the ‘demure and beautiful’ Rosalind.
However this is followed by:-
‘‘How know you of such gossip?’ demanded Mistress Lowther, detecting, with pleasure, the glances which the merchant gave towards her daughter.’
‘Mistress Lowther’ appears to have suddenly transformed into her mother.

C.A. Hope should be proud of the work she has produced as a first novel. It is clear she has done a lot of research into different periods of history. This reviewer, for one, is pleased to have taken the time to read it.

A compelling start and an exciting finish, but the middle was a little slow and slushy. This story read more like a romance novel...not what I was initially led to expect.

Thanks to Troubador Publishing and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.