Life as a Unicorn

A Journey from Shame to Pride and Everything in Between

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Pub Date 3 Oct 2019 | Archive Date 31 Jan 2020
4th Estate | Fourth Estate

Description

From a god-fearing Muslim boy enraptured with their mother, to a vocal, queer drag queen estranged from their family, this is a heart-breaking and hilarious memoir about the author’s fight to be true to themself.

My name is Amrou Al-Kadhi – by day. By night, I am Glamrou, an empowered, fearless and acerbic drag queen who wears seven-inch heels and says the things that nobody else dares to.

Growing up in a strict Iraqi Muslim household, it didn’t take long for me to realise I was different. When I was ten years old, I announced to my family that I was in love with Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. The resultant fallout might best be described as something like the Iraqi version of Jerry Springer: The Opera. And that was just the beginning.

This is the story of how I got from there to here: about my teenage obsession with marine biology, and how fluid aquatic life helped me understand my non-binary gender identity; about my two-year scholarship at Eton college, during which I wondered if I could forge a new identity as a British aristocrat (spoiler alert: it didn’t work); about discovering the transformative powers of drag while at university (and how I very nearly lost my mind after I left); and about how, after years of rage towards it, I finally began to understand Islam in a new, queer way.

Most of all, this is a book about my mother. It’s the journey of how we lost and found each other, about forgiveness, understanding, hope – and the life-long search for belonging.

‘Raw,emotional and compelling’ Stylist

'Heartbreakingly good' Simon Amstell

From a god-fearing Muslim boy enraptured with their mother, to a vocal, queer drag queen estranged from their family, this is a heart-breaking and hilarious memoir about the author’s fight to be true...


Advance Praise

‘This book is as rare, fabulous and beautiful as the creature it is named for. A masterpiece of psychology, a major study of Islam and a definitive study of drag, it made me cry, it made me rage and it made me hoot. Full of anger, insight and philosophy, along with some cracking great gags, this is a magnificent and essential document of the twenty-first century. It moved my heart and soul
Russell T Davies

Astonishingly brave and engaging, Unicorn shows us a side of life seldom explored’
Joanna Lumley

Tender and hilarious in equal parts, this is a memoir like no other. A beautiful, honest account of what it is like to grow up between multiple expectations, and an uplifting reminder that it is possible to find happiness by being yourself. I was gripped at every page’ 

Angela Saini, author of Superior

'This is a masterpiece, an incredible emotional voyage, moving, funny, provocative, educational, a book you must read whatever your ethnicity or your sexual or gender identity. Beautifully written by an author whose voice must be heard'
Owen Jones, author of The Establishment and Chavs

'An extraordinarily generous work of compassion, understanding, hope and humour. Unicorn is a true gift to all readers - and especially to any hidden unicorns ready and waiting to embrace their magic'
CN Lester, author of Trans Like Me 

'Amrou's story is at times painful, at times hilarious, but always completely resonant. If you've ever felt like an outsider, or caught among several identities, this book is a light in the dark and a soothing balm on the pain of loneliness and alienation'
Kumail Nanjiani & Emily V. Gordon'

'Unicorn is testament to the bravery required for many queer people to live their truth. This story is our story: one of loneliness, guts, resilience, full-on glamour, and wanting to find your people. Amrou writes with emotional intelligence and candour of the eventful journey to a life fully lived. They also know how to deliver a killer one-liner. I wish I’d had this book when I was growing up'
Niven Govinden, author of This Brutal House




‘This book is as rare, fabulous and beautiful as the creature it is named for. A masterpiece of psychology, a major study of Islam and a definitive study of drag, it made me cry, it made me rage and...


Available Editions

EDITION Ebook
ISBN 9780008306083
PRICE £3.99 (GBP)
PAGES 272

Average rating from 67 members


Featured Reviews

I felt that this was a really unique read and I loved it. Amrou spent their early years living in Bahrain and then moved to London as a teenager. Unicorn tackles stereotypes and expectations of growing up in a Muslim family and trying to hide their sexuality and femininity. Amrou formed a drag troupe while studying in Cambridge and this is when they truly came into themselves. I loved the portrayal of family dynamics and thought it was a very unique and enjoyable insight into a world I know very little about.

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This is a brilliant book. It's heartbreaking, funny and beautifully written. Following the story of Amrou (or Glamrou when in drag), the memoir an exploration of conflicting identities: Muslim, queer, non-binary, Arab, drag queen. With an unflinching gaze, Amrou examines their life from childhood until the present, focusing particularly on their relationship with Mama (role model and inspiration) and with friends and partners.

The book's title is eye-catching by any standards. It certainly got my attention because of the immediate contrast suggested by the words 'Muslim' and 'drag queen'. It's fascinating how Amrou goes on a journey which finally reconciles their Islamic faith with queerness, after fearing going to hell for being gay and then voicing Islamophobic views in an attempt to fit in with white, British, Christian peers. Amrou's experience of moving from the Middle East to Britain did allow more freedom but it also emphasised their outsider status.

Amrou was under heavy parental pressure to conform, both to the standard of a good Muslim son and society's standard of what a man is. This manifested as OCD in academic success. I liked that this was included in the book, as I think it's important to communicate that when parents deny children's self-expression, this is harmful and can have devastating effects on mental health. There was so much sadness in this book. Most upsetting was how Amrou's parents reacted with such emotional cruelty. They're not bad people but their cultural background and respectable position in society encouraged them to reject their son's way of life. On a positive note, Mama in particular is not distant at all by the end. Elements of wry humour throughout the book mean you won't always have tears in your eyes, but really this is as much a painful story as it is an empowering one. However, I enjoyed reading it and I loved the writing style.

I know that unicorns are very on trend - you might cynically say that the title of this book is exploiting that - but there's a good reason why they appear in this book.

NB - this review will be published on my blog on 3rd September.

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Funny emotional moving a Muslim boy who grows up to be a drag queen,This is an entertaining. Real at times hilarious at times moving eye opening journey.Highly entertaining.#netgalley #4th estate books.

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The biggest take away for me after finishing this book is what an important story this is to tell. I can't help but imagine vulnerable young people in a similar situation or mindset to Amrou finding great comfort and acceptance in the pages of this book. I will be recommending this book to as many people as possible as true and insightful stories such as this one play such an important role in educating people and promoting inclusion.

The memoir is told in anecdotes which weave together to tell Amrou's life story so far, discovering their gender identity and sexuality and the challanges of reconciling these with their faith and upbringing. Full of humour and self-awareness, the author's voice leapt off the page and did an excellent job of enabling the reader to understand their thought processes and reasoning at the various stages of their life, particularly with their struggle to find acceptance and a sense of belonging. The story was heartbreaking and uplifting at its different moments and I am so glad to have read it.

Thank you to Netgalley and 4th Estate for the eARC in exchange for an honest review. Also thank you to Amrou for sharing the story of your life with all its ups and downs in such an honest, open and sincere way.

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It's only halfway through the year, but I know that this is going to be one of my favourite reads. Amrou/Glamrou's honest and unflinching account of his life growing up as a queer Muslim who eventually finds drag as a career and outlet captivated me from the very first page. It feels like an important story to tell, and I appreciated Amrou's (what felt like) faithful retelling of his experiences growing up, his relationship with his family (particularly his mother) and his exploration of gender, faith, race and drag. His is a unique life story, and like anyone's life story is filled with nuance, which is displayed openly upon the page; at times, you will be heartbroken by his family's inability to accept Amrou for who he truly is, and at other times, you will be touched by their attempts to connect with him. There is so much to this book that I can't do it justice with this review, but I would urge everyone to read it!

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This was excellent, not just a quip filled glitter extravaganza, but a really deep emotional take on being Muslim, gay and being ostracised. An intellectual evaluation our our societies attitude towards other, this book stays with you. Glamrou is a future national treasure.

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I LOVED this memoir. So well written and their emotional honesty and humour shone through. Will be recommending far and wide.

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🦄🦄🦄Unicorn- The Memoir of a Muslim Drag Queen by @glamrou Published by @4thestatebooks .
🦄🦄🦄
I have read many memoirs over the years but non have really engrossed me as ‘Unicorn’ did.
You have to firstly admire Amrous’ bravery and courage to be sharing his life and journeys with us.
🦄🦄🦄
Here is a naked, no stone unturned life story. Amrou delivers bares his heart and soul within this book.
🦄🦄🦄
It is much more than just about life as a Muslim drag queen it goes much much deeper. It tackles love, parental love, love in general.life, religion and homophobia.
🦄🦄🦄
Amrou knew from a young age that he was different to his twin brother. His twin would enjoy spending time with his father watch football, where as Amrou enjoyed spending time with is Mama. He enjoyed admiring his mothers clothes.
🦄🦄🦄
But these feeling that Amrou has were at odds with his religion and the way his was brought up in the Middle East.
This is just the start of a journey that sees Amrou suffer from bullying,O.C.D, drug taking , drinking and a lot more.
🦄🦄🦄 Amrous’ raw honesty and what happened to him through both childhood and adulthood jumps off the page. I just astounded by his continued inner strength
He offers moments of reflection on the past and where he went wrong also identifying his own mistakes, where he went wrong and how today he would have done things differently.
🦄🦄🦄 Sadly today it can still be difficult to come out and to be accepted. Amrou has not only that but a whole mind field to contend with.
(Family acceptance, religion,finding myself who he really is, friendship)
🦄

The title ‘Unicorn’ may seem a little odd but it all becomes clear as you read it.
Definition of a unicorn -‘something that is highly desirable but different to find or obtain ‘
🦄🦄🦄
A truly truly amazing book. 💫💫💫💫💫
Thank you @4thestatebooks for gifting me this book.

#unicorn #bookstagram #bookcommunity #reviewer #blogger #booknerd #bookalicious #bookobsessed #bookaddiction #readerofig #loveofreader #readerforlife #4thestatebooks #highlyrecommended #memoir #mustread #brave

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On the surface, it's easy to expect that the memoir of a drag queen could take a very light turn - it could be lots of glitz and glamour, entertaining stories from shows and nights out, with perhaps a glimpse into the realities of identity, queer culture and coming out. Sounds good, right?

With Unicorn, what Amrou Al-Kadhi delivers is so much more powerful and profound than that. Starting with Amrou's childhood as an Iraqi Muslim, raised in a traditionally patriarchal family where adherence and presentation were key aspects of life, this is an incredibly moving, and incredibly well-written, story of self-identity. There's exploration of the ways that social constructs define and restrict who you feel able to be, the particularly powerful role that parents play in defining who we are as people, and even the way that other queer people can be so damaging to a queer identity.

Within just a few pages, I'd fallen in love with this book. With references to The Sims (and our universal need to find inventive ways to ruin their lives and kill them off), Harry Potter, queer TV shows and so much more, it's hard not to fall for Amrou's charm.

In fact, the entire book feels a little like one of those deep conversations that you accidentally end up having with a friend after one too many drinks at the pub, in the best possible way. It feels intimate, intense and a privilege to be a part of.

What Amrou manages to do incredibly well is balance a light, humorous tone with an exploration of some incredibly serious, dark issues including mental health, self-harm, self-loathing, paranoia and much more. With some many heavy topics to discuss it could easily be an obtuse, difficult read, but Amrou manages to balance immensely profound discussions with an incredibly readable style that meant I honestly couldn't put this book down, and felt slightly bereft to not continue their journey once it finished.

As a gay man, there's a lot here I found relatable. The queer community is famed for being both supportive and critical, exclusive and open, empowering and crippling, and that's explored really well in Unicorn. Between the paradoxical homophobia, racism, body shaming and fragile masculinity, it's hard to find a queer person that hasn't found the community a challenging place to be, and Amrou explores this brilliantly.

As someone who's also faced religious and familial pressures with regards to sexuality, I feel I was probably affected by this book more than others might be, but I really think there's something for everyone to take from this.

If you can read this book without learning how to be more human, I'll be shocked.

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A powerful read, very heavy at times, but such an amazing life to read about. Completely inspiring and although sometimes hard to read with such powerful issues, also very hard to put down. Inspirational

Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion

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This is a really interesting read. Amrou’s battle to live how he wants is an intriguing and insightful read. It is intriguing to read about other peoples points of view and beliefs.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.

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This was an enlightening and thought provoking book - I must admit I hadn't expected to be learning about quantum physics - about someone from a very different world to mine, and the difficulties of finding your true self in a judgemental world.
Obviously as an autobiography it is centred on Amrou's thoughts about how people and the world in general treat him, (I apologise but I'm unsure of the correct pronoun to use here) but I would also like to know his family's thoughts on his childhood - particularly his mother; living in a patriarchy, and envying Amrou the possibility of being a heterosexual man. And what about his twin brother?
The discussion of Allah and Islam were also interesting and I was left with many questions at the end of the book.
Thank you to netgalley and 4th estate for an advance copy of this book.

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This was a really interesting and insightful book. There are so many aspects of modern society and different cultures that I'm completely clueless about. I've been trying to find and read more about some of them. This is powerfully and honestly written, and it's heartbreaking at times.

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