This is a beautiful book, fabulously written, with monogamy (or lack of) only one of the topics explored, along with marriage, divorce, family, bereavement, work and so on. Annie and Graham have had a long and happy marriage and lead full and vibrant lives with friends, interests, good food and satisfying work. Both are affected by a previous marriage and relationships with his son and their daughter impact on their lives for better and for worse. When everything suddenly changes, the revelation of an indiscretion casts a different light on what has gone before- but is it really of any deep significance? Sue Miller’s characters really come to life, they are flawed but loveable and she really illustrates what makes them who they are and why they behave as they do. She writes with compassion and empathy about love, betrayal and, especially, grief, which is palpable, but also about the solace of memory and shared experience. I don’t know why she is not better known in the UK, she should be up there with Anne Tyler and Elizabeth Strout, and I envy anyone who still has her back catalogue to discover.

I have loved Sue Miller’s books – always wise and insightful – for many years and ‘Monogamy’ doesn’t disappoint.
For Graham, fulfilment means being able to have his cake and eat it: matrimony first with Frieda and then with Annie, but with no reservations about embarking on a series of affairs.
Annie seems the perfect foil for him. He is rambunctious, a bon viveur, the life and soul of their many parties and loved by all who meet him. She is poised, reserved and reflective, with even her own daughter finding her emotionally distant.
At first sight, their New England life seems enviable: a photographer and a successful bookshop owner, the coolest couple on the block, with a wide circle of friends and harmonious relationships across Graham's blended families. But when the worst happens, Annie has to deal with the double-whammy of Graham’s actual and emotional absence.
Every family has its secrets, we’re told, and Annie is felled when she discovers a humdinger of a secret! (I’m trying to avoid spoilers here!)
Sue Miller’s writing is elegant, understated, never showy and yet the book contains one of the most perceptive descriptions of loss and grief that I’ve ever read. This doesn’t mean it’s a hard slog, far from it. At times, it’s seems as if we’re privileged eavesdroppers into long, gossipy conversations. The characters and the interactions between the different members of the family are utterly believable.
I already want to read ‘Monogamy’ again to enjoy the many nuances I have surely missed first time around.

A really well observed book about how we can never really know what our loved ones are really thinking, especially has we don't even fully understand and know ourselves. It also explores unintenede effects our own background and ways of being have on our beloved children and their own relationships. If you are looking for an exciting ride this is not the book for you, it is slow at times and digs deep into the observation and effects of thoughts and feelings.

The book revolves around Annie, a pretty small woman in her fifties married to a very tall, large, gregarious man called Graham in his early sixties (at the outset of the book)..They have a grown up daughter , Sarah and Graham has a son from his first marriage , Lucas. Annie and Graham met at his bookstore opening when she was going through a casual sex phase following divorce. Graham is also divorced, he had several affairs, in the spirit of exploring an "open marriage" which his first wife, Freida couldn't cope with. Like his body he is a man of large appetites for life. He has recently "slipped" into having an affair with a recent divorcee and his marriage to Annie is suffering as she is aware that he is keeping something from her. Then he dies unexpectedly and the narrative starts to explore in details all the extended family's relationships, resentments about their childhoods and romantic partnerships. The book is very well written. I really enjoyed spending time with Annie and her family.

So many books are written about the early days of marriage but few authors capture what it is to see it through to the bitter end. Sue Miller's perfect, graceful sentences disguise so many insights and observations that it's almost possible to miss them in the rush to find out what happened with Graham and how Annie will possibly survive the rewriting of her marriage. One to read first for the story and then to re-read at leisure and marvel at how real these people feel.

In these turbulent times a Sue Miller book is salve for the soul. Her gentle narration guides you through the ups and downs of a marriage, the tightrope of parenting and a navigation of grief. Like all of her books this is an immensely satisfying take which I wholeheartedly recommend.

I love Miller’s novels - the domesticity and relationship stories seem simple yet draw you in with their honesty, complexity and truth.
This novel is no exception: the story of Annie and Graham’s marriage fans out into something that questions the very nature of relationships and monogamy.
There is a plot twist - I won’t spoil it - that leaves you reeling.
What is a good marriage? How can we forgive when the other person is not there to question?
I was slowly drawn in to this elegant portrait. Sometimes the characters felt a little predictable and manufactured, but generally I found them nuanced and believable.
Recommended to those who like beautifully observed fiction in the style of Ann Tyler or Margaret Forster.

How much do you really know about your nearest and dearest? That’s the plot of this stunning book. Annie is married to bookseller Graham. He is larger than life, funny, convivial and has made a mistake – but is keen to resolve it for the better. But when something happens and Annie is left to pick up the pieces, she wonders how well she really knew her husband. The surprise happens towards the beginning of the book, leaving you wondering how it’ll continue. But the plot picks up as the author deals with themes of family, secrets and enduring love, even if you don’t necessarily like that person currently. I found it very moving and truthful, not a sugar-coated look at marriage.

Thank you @netgalley for yet again another amazing book!
I have just cried my way through the last few minutes of this book.
Sue Miller's Monogamy is more than a book with an amazing cover. And if you're a fan of Sally Rooney this might be the book for you. I felt like I was a fly on the wall to Annie's marriage to Graham as well as his previous marriage to Frieda which also plays a huge part in this story, as the book navigates you through past marriages, family, careers, and things that could have been. How do you deal with an unexpected loss. When there's so many things left unsaid, and so many secrets to be told. How do you forgive and move on? This book was just so emotionally raw and beautifully written. Forgotten memories come to light when faced with a sudden grief that they are all confronted with. I don't know how much more I can say without spoilers but this is a definite must read for 2020

Thank you for the opportunity to read 'Monogomy' by Sue Collins.

I loved this book - a highlight for 2020! It is a careful study of the journey of a marriage and is beautifully written. I love the gentle style of the prose, the detailed descriptions of the characters, the entanglement of the different lives. I could see the main characters all in my mind as I read and felt I understood them.

It is a poignant story and one that will stay with me for a long time. I now have other books by Sue Williams on my list to read. Thank you!

I loved this novel. Sue Miller has a real gift for characterisation and though small, the cast of characters are diverse, well drawn and believable. the whole book had for me, the feel of a fiction version of a still life painting; so rich in detail, so intricate and beautifully drawn that you can't stop looking and noticing things you hadn't seen before. I instantly liked both Annie and Graham and while I also liked Frieda, it was clear that Annie was the woman for him. As so many families nowadays are blended it was nice that this was one that had stood the test of time and that Lucas and Sarah had grown up with 3 parents each.
As a middle aged reader it is so nice to find a book where your age is represented but still as sexual beings and people with their own lives and interests and not just bit part players in the lives of young characters. Annie's relationship with Sarah reminds me in part of my relationship with my own mother and with my own Mother, where each person has secrets of their own, and not necessarily 'secrets' but just things about your life that the person who once knew you best.
While Graham had betrayed both Annie and Frieda it was clear that he and Annie were meant to be together and I'm glad that the ending (which I felt was a little rushed) saw Annie able to forgive him. In fact the last chapter is so beautiful, how memory and grief intertwine and both need to be accepted and lived through. It felt ultimately optimistic and hopeful.
The novel isn't full of *PLOT*. There aren't constant twists and turns, it isn't a thriller, it is a beautifully crafted story of interpersonal relationships, on art and creativity on the lives we could have lived 'if only' and in finding joy in what we do have and accepting peoples flaws and foibles, what makes us ourselves.

This book is such a bittersweet meditation on what it really means to stay married to someone and to love them for what they are.

With great gentleness, Sue Miller unravels the family and friend relationships of a central couple, Annie and Graham, and the lives they have built together over the years.

When Graham dies, Annie is left to make sense of her grief alone, and the book deals beautifully with her changing feelings and relationships over the period of time after Graham's death.

There's a real depth to the characters and the situations they find themselves in, and an understanding of how some situations can be seen differently through the prism of time.

Sue Miller takes you on a gentle journey away from damaging judgements to a simpler, sadder and wiser sense of understanding that leads the way through to forgiveness.

Such a lovely book, big themes treated in an expert way to give you real pause to consider - worth reading and rereading for its gentle insights.

Couldn’t out this book down.....the character of Graham is larger than life and there are key characters surrounding him who are well drawn and interesting. The prose keeps the interest in the story of a long marriage and it’s ups and downs. I particularly enjoyed the final part of the book.....rediscovery.

Oh...this book...where can I start? It takes a heartbreaking look at marriage, family, love and loss - and above all grief. Beautifully written, tragic, insightful, all the characters were spot on. The book is full of literary references, the characters are strong and real and the plot is tragic yet perfect -the story of two people in love but so much more than that. It looks at grief, hindsight, growing older, self-reflection and life itself. This is the first novel I've read by Sue Miller and I will definitely be looking at some of her other reads.
Thanks to Netgalley and Bloomsbury Publishing for the ARE copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Such great insights into marriage, that most common and mysterious experience. The characters felt real and alive, full of flaws and contradictions, misery and joy. I miss them.

What a beautifully written book.

Sue Miller's story is about a couple, Annie and Graham, who have been happily married for almost 30 years. When Graham dies suddenly, Annie struggles to come to terms with it and then discovers he has been unfaithful. This shakes her faith in him for a while, but gradually she is able to move forward.

I loved the way Sue conveyed the various characters and their relationships. There is care and attention to the conversations and the way we gradually understand different people, their flaws, insecurities, and truths.

Graham is complex and yet straightforward. He is larger than life, gregarious, and generous, yet being so open and people-oriented he finds it hard to say no and this makes walking away from situations difficult, leading to guilt on his part. This is particularly true of the affair he has shortly before his death.

Annie is introspective, less certain of herself, but you can see why Graham loves her so much. Then there is Frieda, Graham's first wife with whom he shared an open marriage. She and Annie get on really well, and both their children, Frieda's son Lucas and Annie's daughter Sarah, find they can talk to the other's mother far more easily than their own.

Grief is handled with sensitivity, particularly the scene when Annie wakes to find Graham has died. It is poignant and sad, yet rings true, as do all the emotional situations in the book. The sense of separation, the anxiety of starting over, the legacy of someone's life and how it impacts others going forward.

This is the first time I have read a book by Sue Miller and it won't be the last.

I was sent an advance review copy of this book by Bloomsbury Publishing, in return for an honest appraisal.

What a beautiful and intimate portrayal of marriage, family and loss. Annie and Graham met at a bookstore party and she was instantly drawn to his ebullient energy. A whirlwind romance led to marriage within a year. Their life together was for the most part happy and with a daughter and good friends, they led a wonderful life together. But every marriage has its secrets, and behind Graham's happy exterior lies a deep sadness about the loveless childhood he endured with an absent father, and an abusive mother, This explains him grabbing on to every bit of joy he can , and also perhaps his infidelity. A short fling early on in their marriage, and now another 'fling'. But even to himself he cannot quite explain why he's unfaithful to Annie. Talking to a good friend he explains how he truly loves her and wants to end the affair, but he just doesn't like to disappoint anyone. He does end the affair, and whilst Annie never knew about it, she sensed he was troubled and that he has returned to her. After a simple evening of food and wine together, they go to bed connected deeply once again.

What follows is deeply sad, and the rest of the novel deals with Annie's sense of loss, her feelings of rage and sorrow and her attempt to continue her life without her mate. Wonderfully poignant, this is a book that really brings you into Annie's world, leaves you shaken, and then gently brings you back to reality with a beautifully heartfelt ending.