Scrabble in the Afternoon

An interesting and I believet ruthful tale of a mother and daughter coming to terms with the mother's neediness and the daughter's sometime resentment of it. A bit of a learning lesson for all of us of a certain age. I just hope I remember it, when push comes to shove.

I received an advance copy of, Scrabble in the Afternoon by, Biddy Wells. This is a good book, on a subject many people are dealing with, what to do with a sick parent.

I didn't realise this book was based on the author's relationship with her mother, it was only when i finished the book did I learn this. It did not change my opinion of the book, in fact I reflected more on it. It was a gentle read of a mother and daughter rebuilding their fractious relationship and learning from each other. The selflessness of the daughter giving up her time and having to have a long distance relationship with her partner to look after her mum, who could be irritable was interesting to read about. Being able to bond over a simple joy such as scrabble, reminded me of my old Sunday routine of doing the crossword with my father and how much this game came to mean to Biddy and her mother each day as the crossword meant to myself and my dad. I throughly enjoyed this book and would like to thank Netgalley and the publisher for allowing to enjoy this journey.

“One day, I feared for a second that I might actually die, there and then in the hall, when I was supposed to be the carer – the one in charge and responsible for my mother.”

An honest, sometimes difficult, but ultimately uplifting read about a complicated mother/daughter relationship, told in two parts. Part one, which covers the year in which the author is the full time carer for her elderly mother, particularly resonated with me. The situations that Wells experienced were familiar and relatable, and she did a fantastic job of articulating the conflicting and complex emotions that affect both parties. Although told from the perspective of the caregiver, it’s not a one-sided story, with the author showing compassion, understanding and love for her mother, and viewing her own role as more than a duty. They have a strained relationship, with some deep seated emotional issues that the author would like to discuss but which she knows are too difficult for her mother to cope with.

Here's where Scrabble comes in, becoming “safe territory”, a way to connect and enjoy each other’s company without conflict arising. Later on, when Wells’ mother is able to live in sheltered housing, these scrabble games, or the lack of them, become a kind of acid test of how their relationship is generally.

I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys memoir and stories of family dynamics. I think her experiences could be helpful for someone in similar circumstances, and help those on the periphery to see how they can be most supportive and empathetic. The book does deal with emotional neglect and the struggle to come to terms with that, but it’s not a harrowing read and the author managed to handle some really tough situations with humour.

Thank you to Parthian Books and Netgalley for providing me with a free digital copy in exchange for a review. All opinions are my own.

This was a quick read about a woman who is transformed by the process of taking care of her elderly mother. There are themes of of course family and mother/daughter relationships, but it also discusses the deep holes that childhood longing leave. You see this through both the mother and the daughter. Their story is bigger than them - it is the story of how generations of trauma, hurt and disappointments keep a cycle going. And in this story, the daughter attempts to reconcile her feelings and memories with her otherwise pleasant current life. It's about the path to acceptance. How hard and difficult and impossible it seems sometimes, acceptance and facing the reality head-on is the only way to peace.

Thank you to Netgalley and to Biddy Wells for the digital ARC.

4/5 stars.

Scrabble in the Afternoon is the emotional journey of Biddy Wells as a caregiver to her sick mother. Often the world notices only the suffering of the one who is sick, and the challenges faced by the caregiver go unnoticed. Wells has journaled her fears, anxieties, resentment and challenges with utmost honesty.

Thank you, Parthian Books, and Netgalley for providing me with the digital ARC.
3.8/5

An insightful account of the complexity of a mother/daughter relationship when the roles become reversed and an adult daughter becomes the carer for a mother whose own mothering was inadequate. A brave and poignant book with some darkly humorous moments.

Scrabble in the Afternoon is a thoughtful memoir describing the author’s relationship with her mother as she experiences it and understands it over the course of one of the last years of her mother’s life. The story feels open and honest and deeply personal. I love that she tells us about letting her mother read the manuscript – and I love it that she shares her mother’s reaction with us. The story is relatable for those who have had a parent in hospice, requiring care, moving to an assisted living home, and changing in behavior. Her story is also unique describing their individual relationship and history. I enjoyed it a lot though it didn’t always feel organized and I would have preferred some chapter breaks. The cover and title were what initially drew me in and I appreciated the time I spent with this book. Thanks to Net Galley and Parthian Books for the advanced copy to read and review; all opinions are my own.

I really enjoyed this exploration of a mother and daughter's relationship, When the roles have been reversed finding our feet can always be a challenge. Between our feelings of should, and our feelings from past hurts, to who we are as adults, can provide a challenging backdrop when caring for an elderly parent. So many things come out to play in this landscape and I enjoyed reading it. I rated this book a 4 star, because I wanted to know more, I felt that the author, while giving us her feelings and her take on the situation could have delved a little deeper. I t felt like she was skimming the surface and the complexity of both her mothers nature and herself. Saying that, I still really enjoyed it, and maybe its not fair to rate a book on what it didn't do compared to what it did, which was allow me space and time to read when I had been struggling to concentrate on any type of fiction. To read something set in the real world, with with real people and follow how they managed through their new terrain was both delightful, inspiring and calming for my soul.
Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

A wonderfully written memoir about repairing the broken bond between mother and daughter. Through the power of memories, a unforeseen illness, harsh truths and Scrabble, Biddy Wells shares her touching tale of reconnecting not only with her mother, but the woman behind her mother; a woman who loves writing, yearns for independence and still has a flirtatious twinkle in her eye. This story has inspired me to take steps to heal the relationship between myself and my dad. Maybe Cluedo might work for us, ha-ha. Thank you so much, Biddy Wells.

An insightful story about the relationship between a mother and her daughter. The mother is sick and the daughter becomes her caretaker, in a swap of roles that so frequently happens.
Biddy has to learn to take care of her elderly mother and the journey to get there isn't easy. The themes are mother daughter relationships, and and family.
Very well written!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A very nice read. Scabble in the Afternoon is one I can and do relate to as the caregiver of my own mom. a sweet book and sometimes a bit too close to home. Felt real, and real is what I wanted. Thanks for this

Biddy Wells delivers a poignant recollection of the complexity of her relationship with her aging mother. She strives and achieves to relay the many feelings and challenges from both perspectives.

In one excerpt, the question is raised, “at what point should the children of elderly parents intervene and put an end to independent living”? This is a theme that so many have and will continue to face and struggle with. For folks on the cusp of, or actively living with these tough decisions, Wells’ book could provide some insight and solace.

Wells’ also tackles how she dealt with her personal demons with her mother in a compassionate and well thought out way. She delivers her own familial story in a way that will resonate with so many. How to repair what’s been broken? Should we try? How far do we go at the price of hurting a parent or oneself?

Scrabble in the Afternoon provides an honest look into the vulnerabilities that exist between mothers and daughters and gifts readers the opportunity to reflect on theirs.

Wells writer a touching and forthright memoir about elder care. Her mother was feeble and needed assistance so Biddy put her life on hold for almost a year to care for her. They become closer, but also friction occurs, especially when her mother allows her love interest to dominate her. This is a topic that is very relevant as children find themselves responsible for their elderly parents’ care. It was short book and it offered insight into the draining, yet rewarding experience of caring for her mother.

This was an insightful memoir of a mother and daughter relationship. I believe this was based off the author's relationship with her mother and it reflects in the short read. I think I am not old enough to fully understand the depths of this memoir and it ran slow for me at times.

This tells a story that is quite a familiar one, that of an elderly and frail parent being cared for by their middle aged daughter. As a Social Worker for 25 years and as a daughter of an elderly mother myself, it is a story I have seen and experienced many times. I am always interested in the dynamics between people, and read this book with interest. It covers the subject perfectly well.

I enjoyed this short memoir. It was nice, in a way, without sounding horrible, that other families have struggles as well with their relationships and health etc, It was interesting how Biddy dealt with her Mother's illness. It was also an eye opener that relationships aren't always perfect partner or family wise. Also it shows how verbal abuse still occurs, even in sheltered accommodation at any age and how much is changes someone. The different attitudes of Biddy's Mother throughout her illness. I also found that there was a form of abuse in the family setting where Biddy didn't seem accepted. As horrible as it sounds, it seems like a relief when Gerald died as Biddy felt she was getting her Mother back.

🧩 Scrabble In the Afternoon 🧩
By Biddy Wells
Publisher: Parthian Books (Sept 1. 2021)

Slow and poignant. Like taking a Sunday drive.
At 170 pages, it’s not a large book but it definitely takes on an emotional side of what happens when a woman takes on the care giving for her elusive mother who withheld the nurturing she needed as a young girl.

When I read it, I didn’t realize it was a memoir. It read like fiction with the theme of a mother-daughter relationship and all the emotions that can come within. However after reading more about Biddy, I realized that it was indeed based on her own experience of finding herself as the caregiver for her mother.

If you enjoy books that deal with self reflection or digging in to what we owe our parents (and what they owe us)… then you’ll enjoy this. And I use the word “owe” quite purposefully… this short novel will let you gather your own thoughts on that twilight zone on living your own life vs. Caregiving for the older loved ones in your life. I enjoyed it. As I said, like a slow country drive where your mind wanders about your own journey and future. 3.5 stars ⭐️