My Broken Vagina

As a long-time sufferer of vaginismus, I jumped at the chance to read Fran Bushe’s My Broken Vagina. While I don’t know if any of the more practical advice in the book will be of use to me in the near future, I found a great deal of comfort and solidarity in reading it—and laughter too.

Like me, Bushe has struggled with vaginismus all her life. But she’s been a tad more proactive and bold in trying to overcome it. She’s spoken with medical practitioners, “Sex Camp” attendees, and many fellow sufferers. She provides a compelling explanation for why we shouldn’t buy into the label “Female Sexual Dysfunction” (apparently created by Americans to sell pointless drugs, WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT?). She sensitively navigates the semantic minefield of discussing how vaginismus makes her feel broken, while emphasising that we don’t have to feel broken.

The most painful parts of the book to read are Bushe’s experiences with doctors who dismiss her suffering, and with men who, when she tries to open up about vaginismus, respond with unkindness and defensiveness; they seem to interpret a woman’s inability to enjoy sex with them as blame.

Despite the many distressing moments in the book, there were so many times when I smiled or laughed out loud. Bushe is a comedian, and clearly a very good one (I wish I’d heard about her comedy gigs on this subject). The yoni egg chapter has to be my favourite bit. Ultimately, My Broken Vagina is not just for women with vaginismus, and indeed, I recommend it to anyone whether cishet or LGBTQIA+ (there’s a lot of representation among the people that Bushe interviews in the book). Although I’ve already read plenty of books that go over the usual statistics on women’s sexual pleasure and the massive orgasm gap between men and women, frankly, this is a subject that can’t be talked about enough. It makes me think of all the times that men I’ve been with have said the most ridiculous things about sex that simply are not true. I can only hope they know better now.

(With thanks to Hodder & Stoughton and NetGalley for an advance version of the ebook, in exchange for an honest review.)

Fran Bushe is a woman on a mission to fix her sex life, starting with her broken vagina. Part memoir, part self help book, My Broken Vagina: One Woman's Quest to Fix Her Sex Life, and Yours delves into Fran’s sex life and that of others, breaking down common misconceptions, challenging the status quo and sharing a few helpful tips along the way.

After reading only a few pages of this book I knew I was going to love it. Fran is hilarious and so relatable. It’s a joy to work through each chapter with her as she navigates her quest of trying to ‘fix’ her ‘broken vagina’.

A lot of the experiences Fran shares over the course of the book struck a chord with me, and I’m sure they will with other readers, especially how medical professionals regard a women’s right to pleasure and how ‘sexual dysfunction’ in females is approached. The book also manages to be inclusive of everyone. Fran is sensitive to different sexualities and gender identities, which means no one is left behind on this journey.

You might think that a book which tackles such a sensitive subject might be a bit heavy or bogged down in science and details, but it’s not. Each chapter features a blend of stories, reflections and recollections, cute illustrations, entries from Fran’s teenage diary, statistics, self-care tips and interviews. In my opinion, it is probably best read in bite size chunks to have time to read around a certain topic or do some research, as different parts will resonate with different people.

Aside from all the comedy - and there is a huge amount of comedy gold in this book with lots of laugh out loud moments - there’s also a lot of uncomfortable truths and helpful advice to be discovered. Fran covers all manner of topics from getting comfortable with your body and masturbation to communication and consent. It is a no holds barred account of one woman’s journey to take responsibility for her own pleasure, challenge common misconceptions and fly the flag for women’s health. With that, there is an incredible sense of solidarity in this book. There’s a feeling that Fran has stumbled upon something that many of us have lived quietly with and we are now all having an ‘aha!’ moment of epic proportions. It is refreshing and (I hope) revolutionary.

In short, My Broken Vagina is a triumph of a book and I think everyone should read it. It is eye opening, sensitive, laugh out loud funny and informative all at the same time.

Thank you to Fran Bushe, Hodder & Stoughton, and Netgalley for an advanced reader copy of My Broken Vagina in exchange for an honest review.

Have you ever read a book and wished it had been available to your younger self?

That's how I felt when I read this book.

I absolutely loved it. This book normalises sex as being painful and uncomfortable at times. It's definitely a problem that is more common than you would think and this book has done a great job and making me feel a bit more normal. The author was very honest but at the same time, keeping the tone light and funny. I absolutely devoured this book and think it may be the best book I have read so far this year.

I'll be pre-ordering a copy before its May release date and encouraging my friends to read it too.

This had me LOL so hard on many occasions. I genuinely want Fran to be my best friend. With diagrams galore, I found this thoroughly entertaining. There was something on nearly every page that made me want to take a photo and share it with all my friends. Not sure I'll look at goats in the same way ever again.
But at the heart of it is a very serious women's problem and she's absolutely right to share it and raise awareness and tackle (excuse the pun) head on. The message is not taken away from all the hilarious sections throughout. A brave and fresh insight in a 30 something women's life. So relatable. Read this.

My Broken Vagina is an open, honest and utterly fantastic book about people with vaginas. Fran Bushe conveys her own experiences in an amusing way and, at the same time, interviews and shares the opinions of people from different genders and sexualities in order to provide a more complete and diverse picture of how people with vaginas understand and experience sex.

Her writing is as compelling as it is hilarious, communicating the message that everyone has issues in bed and no one truly knows what they’re doing, and that’s okay. In particular, she focuses on how people with vaginas find it difficult, if not impossible, to find help within the medical community when they have problems with their sexual relations or libido, yet there is a lot more research and even medication for people with penises. This is an important issue, because “the only thing that really causes distress is that feeling of not fitting in and not being able to see yourself represented anywhere,” she writes.

Bushe discusses pain during sex, desire, consent, masturbation, the concept of sex itself, how society is excessively focused on penetration and heteronormative relationships, and how finding what works best for you can be a messy, endless journey. And, obviously, talks a lot (and I mean A LOT) about vaginas in all their shapes and forms.

This is the book I wish my 16-year-old self had read. It would have saved her a lot of self-doubt and insecurity, helped her see that sex doesn’t have to be heteronormative and focused on male pleasure, helped her discover and ask for what she liked in bed and to learn to say no when something felt uncomfortable. This is an important story that, hopefully, will pave the way towards a more open conversation about sex both within society and with our sexual partners.

I encourage you to read this irrespective of your gonads, I think there is useful information and reflections for everyone of us here. If you’re looking for an authentic and funny story narrated in a sincere, no-bullshit way, you will love this one as much as I did.