How to Find the Right Words

In life, we always want to let others know how we feel and we also want to be kind at the same time. .and, doing these two acts together is not an easy task as both of them seem entirely opposed to each other. If we reveal the true depth of our anger, frustration and disdain we might ruin a friendship or relationship. and , if we said nothing then there would be a sense of claustrophobia (Ghutan is also a word in Hindi which represents this feeling ) and inauthenticity.

Too often, unsure of how to proceed, we veer between extremes either we say nothing for too long or we explode suddenly someday.

Speaking up directly and politely is an art. This education should have started at our homes. But most of the time what we are exposed to at our homes ? sulking or screaming , insistence or denial. We create wrong definitions of good boys and girls. and , the kids end up becoming that but that doesn’t mean that they have nothing tricky they wanted to say. They simply close their mouths and swallow their complaints in order to be called that “Good” boy or girl.

And, here comes diplomacy. Diplomacy is the art of advancing an idea or cause without unnecessarily inflaming passions. Diplomacy is supposed to be a skill that evolved to deal with problems in relationships between countries, where diplomats are used to convey messages in less inflammatory ways. It avoids the decisions taken in the heat of the moment. These are the same set of skills that matter in many areas of our daily life.

When you have to do this difficult conversation you have to take care of a few things - you need to respect the person sitting in front of you, admit your own errors if any, and pass on the message ( a very tricky part ) . after passing the message be prepared for any sudden loss of temper, a wild accusation, a very mean remark - do not take them personally. It needs practice but if started early in childhood it can be mastered. But wouldn’t that ruin the kids of their innocent childhood or adolescence ? Maybe it's not for kids but what about adults ?

This is a nice ~90 page book and provides a good idea about how to find the right words to convey your feeling without flaring passion .

Go for this book !!!