Coercive Relationships

As a survivor of an abusive relationship, I read a lot of books about abuse. I feel like this book really outlined well what it means to be in a coercive relationship. This is important to know the signs whether you are in this type of relationship, have been in the past or maybe have never been but just want to be armed with the information.

There is already quite a plethora od self-help books, some about relationships where abuse takes place. This book brings a truly comprehensive examination of the topic - along with affirmations to allow an abused person in any partnership, whether heterosexual, gay or binary to develop the inner strength and confidence to move on.

There are examples from real life given throughout on what controlling or abusive behavior looks like,in different situations and contexts. There are also long lists given on where to get help, whether or not on how to find a therapist, refuge, or more resources offering self help.

There is a look at the larger political context that allows control over others and abuse to happen, which needless to say, is usually based on inequality of all kinds, and it is suggested that the roots of oppressive behaviour run deeper than issues to do with patriarchy.

One of the most valuable messages put across here quite emphatically is where fault should be assigned, and it is not with the individual on the receiving end of violence/gasloghting, or whatever else the abuser does to stay in control. There is no victim blaming here. That to my mind is an extremely healthy approach to take where the recipient of abuse may already have been undermined or traumatised after many years of ill treatment.

This is quite a tome and not light reading either. It cannot be read in one sitting, but perhaps it can also, just as well be used as a resource to dip into.