Part memoir, part essay, part extended meditation, this is an impressive exploration of myriad forms of loss and discovery. New Yorker writer Kathryn Schulz goes back to a momentous time in her life, when she met and fell for the woman she would later marry, a turbulent period inextricably linked to the death of her father Isaac. In lyrical, probing, sometimes passionate prose, Schulz has constructed a nuanced portrait of grief that’s also a celebration of happenstance, of unexpected, profound connection. It’s a nuanced, intellectually complex, admirably disciplined piece that roams through territories and concepts. Schulz draws on literature from quest narrative to poetry, philosophy, anecdote and personal experience, inviting comparisons to work by Leslie Jamison, Susan Sontag or Maggie Nelson. Schulz’s father’s a particularly memorable figure, deftly drawn. An erudite, Jewish lawyer who could quote a stream of lines from plays and books, hold forth on everything from Italian anarchists to baseball but rarely find his keys. Someone who grew up in the shadow of trauma and immense loss - most of his relatives were deported from Lodz in Poland to Auschwitz during the war. He’s juxtaposed with C, Schulz’s later wife, originally working-class, a country girl whose love of reading took her to Harvard, and whose devout Christianity makes her seem an unlikely choice for an atheist, steeped in Jewish heritage and lore, like Schulz, but is somehow, and absolutely, the right fit. A richly-textured, moving, thought-provoking piece.

Thanks to Netgalley UK and publisher Picador, Pan Macmillan for an arc

On an eloquently written and thought-provoking meditation on loss and love. Let me start with this. This is a book that I couldn't read in one go as I've had quite a bit of time reflecting on it and how much I've taken away from the beautiful words Kathryn Schultz has written. It's a beautiful book that's both intimate and philosophical, and while I find her humane writing relatable and would appeal universally, I did feel intellectually challenged by the way she writes and the literary references within the book. Sign of a really good book, if you ask me.⁣
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The first part of the book is about the loss of her father Isaac and her own grieving process, the second part is on the woman who would eventually become her wife, while the third part is all about how these experiences are so interconnected and part of our human life. While each part is really honest and heartfelt, my favourite part is the first one on grief as I was highlighting so voraciously. I finished reading the book earlier today and I'm still thinking about it. How can I not when I see passages like the one below?⁣
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“No matter what goes missing, the object you need or the person you love, the lessons are always the same. Disappearance reminds us to notice, transience to cherish, fragility to defend. Loss is a kind of external conscience, urging us to make better use of our finite days. Our crossing is a brief one, best spent bearing witness to all that we see: honoring what we find noble, tending what we know needs our care, recognizing that we are inseparably connected to all of it, including what is not yet upon us, including what is already gone. We are here to keep watch, not to keep.”⁣
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I actually received an advanced copy, which I'm very grateful for, and I know it's a book I'll keep on coming back to, from time to time in the future.

In less than two years, Kathryn Schulz met her beloved wife and lost the father who shaped so much of who she is. Dealing with the coming together of loss and discovery, Kathryn explores the connections between them and the wonders of the two most important relationships in her life. This thought-provoking memoir explores the multiple meanings of ‘lost’ and ‘found’, incorporating science, philosophy, history and plenty of personal stories and reflection. It is both emotional and uplifting with a bittersweet, hopeful end note.

Lost & Found by Kathryn Schulz is the most beautifully written memoir of love and grief I think I have ever read. Schultz writes so honestly and movingly about the death of her father, and how this experience impacted her life. She uses the analogy of lost items to try and come to terms with losing a loved one, and she writes so poignantly about the processes we all go through when we suffer such a loss. In the second half of the book, Schulz writes of how she met her wife, and how finding love is equally as mysterious a process as losing a loved one. The devotion she has for C, her wife, is palpable on the page, and Schulz's book will restore anyone's faith in humanity, proving the endurable power of love.

A richly-textured, moving, thought-provoking piece. A beautiful memoir that captures your attention and your heart from beginning to end.

Brilliant read!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the chance to read a digital arc in exchange for my feedback.

This memoir recounts the author's experiences losing her beloved father and meeting the woman who eventually became her wife within the same period of 18 months. In the first section she discusses the man he was, who experienced a traumatic early life but went on to live a predominantly happy life who loved language and often lost things leading up to his death..She describes how he became ill and ultimately how the family decided to let him go,

In the second section she rewinds 18 months to when she and Casey met and fell rapidly and deeply in love . The final section focuses on the 3rd word in the title "and" and pays attention to its significance in our language.. "And" is a unifier which brings together the first two sections in a continuation of the story and Kathryn and Casey's wedding. I found this final section filled with joy and the most uplifting.. The message is clear that life goes on after grief and after finding love. All three words in the title are fully explored in the book.

This ARC (kindly supplied by the publishers and NetGalley) could not have arrived at a more perfect time for me having lost my father several months ago and experiencing the death of my mother in the last few weeks while I was finally reunited with my long distance relationship partner who I had not seen since January 2020 before the pandemic begun .It is a reflective and deeply touching memoir perfect for anyone who loves language and pondering the meanings of words.

This book is so good, incredibly well written and so insightful. I was totally captivated right from the start and completely compelled to read this really quickly. A beautiful book.

The front cover of this book is absolutely gorgeous, the storyline is the exact same level of gorgeousness too. The characters the plot and the writing is all really lovely, engaging and beautiful.

I am in awe of Kathryn Schulz’s talent. From the first pages of Lost and Found I was involved and with her on her journey. Her words really touched me and I laughed and I cried at her observations and experiences. I haven’t ever read anything quite like it before, and I have no idea how she came up with the idea of writing this book - but I am so glad she did. Autobiographical but also a beautiful and loving reflection on life, death and love. I am going to spend a lot of time thinking about what she shared, and I am so glad I read it. Beautiful!

"Our crossing is a brief one, best spent bearing witness to all that we see: honoring what we find noble, tending what we know needs our care, recognizing that we are inseparably connected to all of it, including what is not yet upon us, including what is already gone. We are here to keep watch, not to keep.”⁣

Meditative, profound and tragic, this memoir is a fascinating one. Kathryn Schulz met her beloved wife and lost the father within a very short space of time, and the book deals with her coping with this strange twinning of profound loss and profound joy.

It's a challenging, thought-provoking work that mixes personal experience and more literary pursuits. I found it a little difficult at times, my concentrating waning, but it's really worth the commitment. I also read it partly on audio and it['s beautifully read by the author - this is usually my favourite way to experience memoir so I would recommend this, too!

Moving, compelling, one that will lodge deep in your soul.

Most memoir books I have read, usually explore the author's childhood, and how it was a trauma for them. Kathryn's childhood was the complete opposite, as she describes such a close and loving relationship with her father, The book is split into 3 parts, the first, 'Lost' - explores the loss of her father. It is so thoughtfully and beautifully written and explores the journey of grief so well.
The second part, 'Found', explores love and learning to live again after such a loss. It made me cry, laugh, and remember those exciting feelings you experience in the throes of a new relationship.
The final part, 'And', was uplifting and rounded the book off nicely. The first part was the best and definitely drew me in.
The prose, so intelligently written and full of emotion. I loved this memoir and would definitely recommend it.