HOW TO SURVIVE THE EMPTY NEST PHASE

What do you do when your children grow up? What happens when you feel you are no longer needed? How do you deal with loneliness as your children leave the home one by one? According to author Pamela Fariole, it is about overcoming the initial stage of grieving toward a new stage in life: Surviving as an empty nester. Many parents will recognize such feelings. From birth to school, and from school to college, parents have revolved their lives around their children. For over twenty years, they disciplined, educated, fed, ferried, nurtured, and supplied their children with whatever they needed. There are many resources on what to do pre and post-pregnancy, caring for toddlers, parenting young children, bringing up teenagers, relating to young adults, and general parent-child relationships. On the other end of the spectrum, there are also many resources on aging and retirement. However, when it comes to empty-nesting, resources are surprisingly hard to come by. This book fills in this gap to help us manage our grief, find relief, and cultivate joy through this process. Having children is a joy. Bringing them up is a challenge filled with many ups and downs. Seeing them leave the home can usher in a flood of inexplicable emotions. That sums up the emotional journey of many parents around the world. This book is that guide to help us make this journey with purpose and wisdom.

Fariole begins with some definitions of what an empty nest means. She relates the common emotions associated with the grieving phase, such as:
Resistance to Change
Past Experiences
Marital/Relationship status
Financial situation
Past Child-rearing experiences
Identity crisis
Depression and anxiety
Midlife crisis
Menopause, etc.
Each phase comes with its set of challenges. Sometimes, one might even experience a combination of these sentiments. Fariole also coaches us on exercises, off-the-shelf medications that we can take, finding support with like-minded individuals, financial planning, and how to chart a new path for the future. She gives us many detailed ideas pertaining to our existing homes, credit management, home improvement tips, volunteering, traveling, etc. She even gives us cooking, gardening, scrapbooking, and travel tips.

My Thoughts
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For those who are entering the empty nest phase, this book is definitely worth the read. Filled with lots of ideas about what to do with our emotions, our time, our energies, and our assets, we find in this book a guide who understands how a typical empty nester would feel. There are many practical ideas that we can consider to add meaning to our years. There is no point in crying over children who have all grown up. What is more useful is to accept our new phase in life with gratitude and to look forward to a new phase with hope. The journey of grieving is definitely the most challenging part of the process. It is not easy to forget the frantic twenty-plus years of having our children by our side. Dealing with the absence and the loneliness can be downright depressing. Let me offer three reasons why we should read this book.

For empty nesters, picking up this book is a no-brainer. We are in that phase and what better way than to have an experienced guide to help us along. Even though not every item in the book applies to us now, there is always that possibility that the idea might be useful at a later stage in our lives. I appreciate the comprehensive coverage pertaining to emotions and the activities that one can do to cope with the empty nest phase. For that reason, I would say that this book deals with more than simply surviving the empty nest stage. Fariole recognizes the many different challenges that a typical parent would feel. If you can think of it, it probably would be in this book.

For children who have grown up and left the family home, you might want to browse this book to get an idea of what your parents are going through. It makes for good family conversations. It might even draw the family closer together through empathy and understanding. Perhaps, children might buy this book as a gift for their parents!

Finally, for the general reader, even though we may not have children, as we age, it is possible that we might meet empty nesters in the communities we mingle with. Reading this book can build bridges of understanding.

Pamela Fariole is a certified teacher, mother of three grown-up children, three grandchildren, and an empty nester herself.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of the author via NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

Very interesting book and really helped me understand a lot of the different emotions that I have been experiencing since I became an empty nester a few weeks ago.It is such a hard phase in life to go through and quite lonely.Not a topic that is discussed much at all.