Flaming Bags of Crap and the Rarity of Clarity

What’s worse? To want something desperately but never be able to have it or to have it but feel as if you were on the verge of losing it?

At the age of twelve, Mac knows she is in love with her best friend, Allie, when they perform an underaged and borderline inappropriate tango at a dance competition. As a result of that moment, Mac works to become a more subdued and controlled version of herself that is capable of being around Allie without the world hearing her heart scream how in love she is. When her wildest dreams come true eight years later, and Allie admits to feeling the same way, everything smoothly transitions into perfection for the duo. They get married, have a baby (with the help of Allie’s brother and Mac’s uterus), move into a nice neighborhood, and are one puppy shy of The American Dream...if The American Dream also consisted of living with Mac’s feuding sisters and their promiscuous grandmother.

That previously mentioned perfection lasts until Mac becomes pregnant with their daughter’s cousin-sibling and starts to suspect that Allie is having an affair with her overly handsome dance partner. As Mac’s world seems to fall apart, she is recruited to play matchmaker for everyone around her but has lost her romantic groove and fails miserably at every attempt.

In order to help everyone else in her life find their Rarity of Clarity, Mac must find a way to kick feeling like a Flaming Bag of Crap.